Category: Lifestyle

Three Ways to Get Your Sexy On This Fall
It’s autumn here in the States and this time of the ear always feels bittersweet. Gone are the long summer days and sultry nights, seemingly endless sunshine, and lazy Sundays cuddling with a good book or a good partner.

In their place is the crisp freshness of fall, which will forever represent a time of new beginnings. It’s a chance to start fresh, almost like a second New Year’s. Don’t you just love that? It’s time to take stock of your life, work, and relationships, question what’s working and what’s not, and decide where you want to go for the last few months of the year. Though you may associate this cleaning with spring, fall is also a perfect time to do a little clearing out. My favorite place to start? The closet.

What summer clothes left you feeling less than confident and sexy? Which fall/winter clothes don’t fit really well or don’t help you look and feel your best? Out they go! As I get more comfortable with my body and fashion (see my Instagram account if you have no clue what I’m talking about), I’m learning what makes me feel best. This process can help you do the same!

Side note: I totally used to reject the idea of “looking good” to feel good as superficial or an impossible standard that didn’t fit my body. Now that I’m embracing me for me, I’m seeing the connection oh so clearly and it’s reaffirming something I’ve always said:

When you feel amazing, you have better sex. <–tweet that

Want more ideas for feeling your sexiest during this change in seasons? Below are three areas where you can let go to get sexy.
1. In the bedroom. As the seasons change, you may find yourself craving less excitement and more cuddling, savoring the sweet and slow over the hard and fast. Enjoy pleasure for pleasure’s sake and take your time building to orgasm versus just getting it done. Indulge in every whisper, stroke, kiss, touch, and kiss.
2. During your morning routine. The change in weather can be tough on your skin, making fall the perfect time to pamper yourself more than usual. I love taking a few extra minutes to moisturize after my shower and really get in touch with how my body is doing. The goal is to luxuriate in your body. Extra points if you treat yourself to a professional massage or spa treatment.
3. In your everyday. I’ve written about making everyday more sensual in the past. But with fall, you may find yourself craving warmth, grounding, and connection. For me, that comes in the form of candles, tea, lattes, and foot soaks. For you, it may be bowls of warm cereal, coffee, and the extra layer of clothes we’re starting to need.
All of these tips are focused on helping you feel your sexiest even as the temps drop and the “summer heat” (take that as you will) fades. If you find yourself wanting to clean out or needing some extra pampering, give in. Indulge yourself pleasure seeker—you deserve it!

In the comments section, tell me one way you would like to pamper yourself this fall.

Your Partner in Passion,
Kait xo

This article has been republished with permission from Kait Scalisi. Please visit Kait Scalisi‘s website to view original post and more of Kait’s works.

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October 17, 2014
Steamy Underthings for Swingers

While you are happy in your relationship and feeling quite secure, one day you may discover that you and your partner are craving and have a hankering to turn up the heat and share in something new and erotic. While you long to make the acquaintance of someone new, truth be told, you are envisioning fornication. You are both open to discussions all the while communicating your secrets, your most inner thoughts and the fascinating illusions of what might transpire from this. You decide to head out to an adult club to try a hand at something new. There are a variety of clubs and they all have rules, so do check in first with reference to the dress code.

Regardless of what street clothes you’re wearing outside of this adult night spot, you’ll most definitely be leaving them behind shortly after reaching the door so make certain that whatever you have on, as Shakira once sang ‘underneath your clothes’ is the bomb-diggity of sexy because all eyes are going to be on you and if you are looking provocative and perhaps even a bit even risqué, all heads will definitely turn.

Finding the right piece of lingerie is key to feeling confident and sensual. You want to look like eye candy. Not only are you eager to step outside of the box, you are preparing to be the icing on the cake, the dessert of all desserts, the crème de la crème. With this in mind, the right piece of lingerie is crucial. You want to engage in this gathering place and get to know new people and you want to make a statement. Your goal is to give them a peek and allow them to harbor erotic thoughts of lust for you.

Remember, this isn’t something that you’re wearing for your partner alone in the bedroom tonight, and he/she is not going to be the only one undressing you with his/her eyes. Tonight, all eyes are going to be on you so be prepared to stand out looking everything from alluring to voluptuous.

Regardless of your gender, the array of lingerie both for men and women can be quite seductive. Looking sexy is one thing, nonetheless you must feel sexy just as well and this all comes from within by being confident. You don’t want to just look like everyone else there, you want to stand out and give them something to fantasize about, all the while they are already conjuring a way to meet you and get cozy.

What to Wear:

Guys, heading in, you can wear collared shirts or a polo shirt, just not t-shirts. Some clubs allow jeans as long as they are not baggy and way down your crack, which needless to say is tacky and will probably get you turned away at the door. Remember, ideally you want to come across as classy. You do not want to walk in looking like a member of the boy band Kris Kross. Do remember a nice pair of underwear such as boxers, boxer briefs, and or perhaps a pair of boxers and a satin robe. You can also wear sexy role-play costumes to draw ones attention. This will show your playful side.

Ladies, you want to be the cats’ meow. Looking desirable enough to eat is a prerequisite of your dress ensemble, nevertheless, keep in mind that most men still like it simple. This outfit and lingerie selection that you make is going to play a pivotal role. Wear a dress or skirt with stockings and do wear heels. There is nothing in this world that men love more than to hunger for a woman draped in sexy clothes, especially when this choice includes stockings and garters. Be selective, most definitely.

When you make your lingerie choice, make certain that the color choice is as flattering on you as is the lingerie itself. Make sure that it is in the right size, never too small or too large. Allow it to hug your curves and expose every crevice. You want to be the eye candy that every couple there craves.

If you are seeking sexy lingerie at discounted prices; might I strongly suggest a few of our favorite selections for gals and guys? Whether it is lingerie undergarments or a sexy bedroom costumes, you’ll look succulent. At Simply Delicious Lingerie, we offer an assortment of sexy intimate apparel that is sensational. Click on the following images to find out more!

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October 16, 2014
Five Boo-boos of Ginormous Boobs

To the guys out there who are reading this: you are not the only ones who are obsessed with boobies for girls are pretty concerned about our twin assets too, albeit on a very different level. I have always been fascinated by huge boobs and was even caught checking out a particular well-endowed friend’s cleavage once by my then ex-boyfriend for a very simple reason; my breasts resemble that of a flat runway and I have always admired those who pull off dresses with plunging necklines. That said, a set of hefty racks comes with its own cons too. While this may seem especially self-comforting, here are five reasons that us flat-chested ladies might want to reconsider before signing up for breast argumentation.

No drizzle, crumbs and whathaveyous please

No one fancies being caught unprepared on a rainy day, but it certainly seems that downpours are very much preferred to drizzles for the raindrops never fail to first land on the ample busts and it can be rather awkward with those sporadic water blobs on a nude colored/light colored frock during office hours—sure looks like one has been frolicking in the restroom. The same goes for bar countertops; the boobs just seem to find their way snugly right on top of the table every time and no prizes for guessing where cookie crumbs always end up on.

Camel humps

I have never had any issue putting on sling bags for the strap would sit comfortably on the solar plexus between my boobs as I would lug my gym gear around town while waiting for the next pilates class. However, it can be slightly daunting for a D-cupper who is trying not to draw too much attention to herself for placing the strap on the same position creates the effect of two extremely visibly protruding moulds.

“My eyes are up here” phenomenon

Talk about the uneasiness of being introduced to someone whose first and subsequent glances are clearly on your breasts, realizing how much boys are constantly darting their eyes between your face and your boobs during conversations or how they are staring when they think that you are not looking at them. This sure makes for totally awkward interviews and conversations.

Clothes and “uniboobs”

It can be tough to find a perfect fit if your bosoms are significantly larger than your actual frame in the instance of a US size 6 body matched with double DDs. Tee shirts are a poor fit and end up looking like “uniboobs” with a tight stretch prominently marked across the chest. Button down tops have a tendency to flare with gaping holes in between and tank tops somehow never fail to make one look slutty. Going bra-less without the entire population watching them nipples on parade becomes an almost impossible feat too.

Jiggly Exercises

Working out can actually be torturous without the support of at least two layers of sports bras due to the pain of those bouncing boobs, especially during treadmill sessions. Mat exercises can be challenging too as I have witnessed well-endowed women in my yoga class experiencing difficulties with the plow position as they complain about back aches and some were literally huffing and puffing as they struggle with having the boobies out of the way while getting the poses right.

At the end of the day, I do envy those who are able to strut their ample bosoms in a camisole and as I approach my late twenties, it also became very evident that hopes of my breasts magically coming together to form the awesome ‘V’ was clearly not happening. On certain days as I flip through fashion magazines, thoughts of going under the knife to increase my bust size flutter across my mind but then again, I always end up holding back for natural is beautiful.

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October 14, 2014
Sex is Supposed to be Fun; Isn’t It?

I am stating the obvious when I say that sex is all about having a giggle and enjoying each other. Aint’t I? Apparently not.

I was chatting to a guy on GROWLr (GRINDr for Bears—a sub-culture within gay culture— or what I prefer to call ‘GRINDr for nice people’. I find GRINDr and most of the other gay sites/apps cruel and excluding but that is a whole other article … ) and we got onto the subject of sex, of course and I flew into a friendly rant on sexual energy and what exactly happens to that heat you feel in the base of your spine and perineum (between your genitals and ass/arse) when you have sex. The guy who I was chatting to told me that he often gets the giggles ‘post-orgasm’ and I explained that this was the sexual energy shooting up from the root chakra (that heat spot I mentioned. Can you feel it now? I thought you might) and out through his heart in the middle of his chest—the heart chakra—and this quite simply makes us giggle and/or cry. It is more common for women to burst into tears during or post-climax for this reason and yes, not that I wish to stereotype but it is often the case that women are more in touch with their emotions and thus cry more easily and that sexual energy (which is associated with our emotions) has more of a free rein causing all sorts of pleasant and sometimes unpleasant responses and reactions.

So… the guy who I was chatting to then told me that he felt ‘less silly’ because I had explained it and also confessed to thinking that sex should be ‘a giggle’ and ‘about having fun’. Don’t we all think this? Don’t you realise that you really aren’t supposed to be taking this too seriously and did you know that even if you and/or your Mrs/Mr burst into tears during sex you can still enjoy it?

Allow me to give you an example … you knew this was cumming, didn’t you? And you also knew that I was going to deliberately misspell coming because, well, I just cannot resist the naughtiness …

Once upon a kink session with an ex boyfriend of mine, I was kneeling upon the four poster bed in a classy Gay Bed and Breakfast in Blackpool. My hands were tied behind my back and I was pleasuring my beloved by tonguing his balls and doing whatever he demanded of me (within the boundaries we had previously negotiated—this is how to do kink safely and with complete trust. We also used the ‘Traffic Light’ code but we’ll go into that another time…) when I suddenly became very still because ‘something’ happened. I cannot describe fully the ‘something’ other than invert the words because it was, well, almost mystical. I went from ‘Yes Sir, thank you Sir’ mode to being completely silent and from licking his manhood to absolute stillness.

He sensed something.
We both felt ‘something’.
Everything stopped.

I’ll call my ex Richard, Richard ceased his orders of ‘Do you know how honoured you are to worship me boy?’ and other such ‘insults’ to being as silent as me. He gently untied my hands and just lay there and I maintained my position, on my knees, curled up with my face in his crotch just allowing this ‘something’ to do its thing.

Then I burst into tears.
I sobbed from an old place and felt like a child again.
It was delightful.

I clambered from my place between his legs and rested upon his chest. He held me, stroked me and kissed my forehead.

“Feel better?” Richard asked, as my tears fell away and I became giggly.

“Much. Thank you. You’re amazing” I beamed with love into his moist eyes, we de-kinked (removed my leather straps, collar, jock and boots) and spooned for the remainder of the evening.

We did not discuss the tears. We didn’t need to. We giggled, tickled, nestled and warmed ourselves in the knowledge that the sex session had been fun, emotional and what it needed to be.

Here’s to your intimate adventures … you never know what might happen.

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October 13, 2014
The Misconception of Swinging
Some might ask, “What’s all the hype about swingers and living this particular lifestyle?” It has been a hot topic for decades, yet people shy away from the subject when they hear these words muttered, but why? For many, understanding the real meaning and true concept of this inner action amongst consenting adults is a lot to wrap their hands around. Allow me to give you my take on the topic; Swinging is basically a turnout of people looking for something engaging where there are no rules and seduction is a succulent utopia. Yet it certainly has been misconstrued by many. Why do couples swing? Maybe their relationships have become dull, boring or uninteresting? Maybe they’re looking for a way to spruce up their sex life and kick it up a notch?

There are people who do not really know the true meaning of swingers and or swinging couples, thus they don’t really understand the lifestyle and what it entails. They’ve been called philanderers, sexually stimulated by others wanting to engage at revelry. Some might suggest it to be a fetish of dominating adults where they lay around in sexy lingerie or in the nude waiting to get laid. Some call it an adult orgy, a one night fling amongst adults, a wild night of merrymaking. There is an array of words that one could use to describe it; nonetheless a fool’s paradise would be the best way for me to narrate this matter in hand. Let me first state what swinging is NOT … Swinging isn’t getting playful with one’s partner and having immediate sex. It all starts by building an atmosphere of affection.

Is this something for everyone? No, but for those who participate in this lifestyle, it is as common for them as it would be for an ordinary couple to have date nights together. For some, swinging is as routine as it would be to go out to dinner every week. In the 1960s, swinging was something big in the hippie era and it is something that has been going on for years and years where people are pleasured by the thoughts of meeting someone new where they can release their inner desires and deepest fantasies. Who goes to swing clubs? Bisexuals, heterosexuals, gays and lesbians.

You can participate with a partner(s) or you can watch and live it up in your own world of lust. Swingers can be single adult men or women or couples who are looking to meet new people and endure some delicious fun that can be both intoxicating and provocative. Those who don’t understand it call it perverted, while swingers simply call it getting kinky.

If this is new for you and you’re thinking of taking a swing at it, being prepared is key if you don’t want your first time at a sex club to be your last. You’re never under any obligation to participate at a swing club, no apologies or excuses are ever necessary. If someone you’re not into approaches you, a polite “No, thank you” will get the message across. If that sounds harsh, explain that it’s your first time and you’re just there to watch. Something to take serious note here is that every club is different, but at most you can expect to find a buffet, a bar, porn playing on a TV, couches, and a few playrooms in most all of these clubs that you go to. The playrooms are usually where the foreplay/action happens, though you’re likely to see couples fooling around all over the club. There are also some clubs that have a naked rule for the playrooms even if you’re not participating, so my advice would be NOT to be the fully clothed creepy one eyeballing everyone who is not clothed. That’s gawky for sure!

What can you expect? What are the rules and terms to know if you’ve never been in a swing club?
- Be Friendly … Know the fundamental etiquette of swinger clubs. There is really no need to get assertive as soon as you walk in, so don’t strip down to your skivvies and start going at it as soon as you walk in the door.
- Be SAFE! I’m saying to practice safe sex. Keep your junk in your trunk until something is agreed upon. Don’t just assume anything. Guys, please … bring the condoms!
- Whatever you do, DON’T give off any sort of mixed signals. If you’re asked to join someone or a couple and you are not interested, a simple “No, thank you” is best. Beating around the bush with a “maybe later” will only keep that annoying person around you for hours stalking you like his/her prey.
- KNOW THE RULES! No touching unless you’ve been asked to join in. Always keep an open mind. Be respectful of others. Most swing clubs have a buffet where it’s much easier to meet and greet. There is generally also BYOB alcohol policies at a club (they provide the drink mixers), so get yourself a nice glass of wine to relax a bit along with a few snacks, and be seated. DON’T get drunk! Often first timers tend to have one too many to take the edge off so that they are relaxed but this can be a deal breaker folks because it is quite insulting to say the least if you have to be drunk to endure sexual pleasures with someone.
Do understand that there are a variety of clubs. Where can you find them? They are all over the place and vary amongst cities and states. Some clubs as premise clubs do not allow “street” clothes in the play room areas, so if you do not want to run around there naked or wrapped in a towel, sexy lingerie such as a bedroom costume is an excellent choice. Know the dress code! In some, you need towels only and in others, women wear sexy lingerie and men wearing underwear are appropriate. You can find an array of sexy lingerie including adult theme party lingerie at www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com. Visit the bedroom costumes section where you’ll find something erotic and titillating. If you are looking for adult travel choices or for swinging, I would like to suggest www.TrystTravel.com? This is an excellent choice and a favorite of mine where they will assist you in fulfilling your deepest desires. Specializing in Adults Only Erotic Vacations, Tryst Travel is an excellent choice for your adult vacation. Here you will enter a world unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. They specialize in vacations that are designed to entice the senses and stimulate your deepest desires in a variety of locations.

Stay tuned for my next article where I will reflect on swingers and the proper swinger terminology used, along with suggested sexy adult theme party lingerie pieces that are arousing, intoxicating and sexy to wear at any swingers club!

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October 10, 2014
Sooo … You Dont Like My Newly Enlarged Breasts

I have been modelling on and off for 14 years. When I started, I had few tattoos.

People assume that when a model has tattoos, they become “less appealing” to photographers and get less work, this simply is not true. I have found lots of photographers interested in my body and its art, and moving away from more natural models from time to time. I have always turned up to shoots on time, behaved professionally and offered ideas for poses and shoots and get lots of positive feedback from photographers. I have a collection of fans who like my appearance and who support me throughout my career.

I always had body image issues and when I was younger, I from suffered anorexia which stopped my breasts from fully developing. My breasts were an issue for me for many years but I just got on with life and it wasn’t until recently when I decided to have breast implants.

A few people who know me asked “Why get them now? You’ve been modelling for years and never let it bother you”. I had the money, I wasn’t doing it to get more work, I was doing it for myself.

I worked for a company which only shoots “natural” models. The fact that they let me shoot with them with my tattoos was a risk for them but they found my personality shone through. On their website’s message board, the fans were very supportive of me UNTIL I decided to get breast implants. I DON’T need to justify my reasons but the “fans” decided they would all take a view and let me know EXACTLY what they thought of my obviously WRONG decision.

One fan said it was a shame I’d be leaving the site, then shortly after he sent me an email saying I was no better than a prostitute and he would never pay to see my photos again as fake breasts meant I was less of a person. That really hurt! From a website which embraced me and my body art to suddenly getting abuse was wrong!

I’m more hurt by the fact that this individual obviously just saw me as a pair of tits! My face, personality and body dismissed, but because I wanted to change a SMALL part of my body I am suddenly expected to feel shame for it … which I don’t.

I got my breasts enlarged for myself, I won’t let anyone make me feel ashamed. I went from a 32B to a 32D and I couldn’t be happier, I love having fuller, bigger breasts and they look in proportion to my body. They are healing well and I can’t wait to show them off in my first photo shoot when they are fully healed.

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October 8, 2014
Finding Confidence through Web Camming

“No, there’s no way I could cam. I’m way too fat for that.”

They are words that we are all familiar with, even if this particular conversation has never reached your ears. The idea of bearing it all in front of not only one person, but hundreds is daunting. Especially if you suffer from self-hatred, a very common disease among women. It’s the reason we turn the light off before having sex, the reason we stop trying on clothing in the middle of a shopping day, the reason we obsess in front of the mirror.

When I started web camming, I struggled with the idea of having others judge me. Even after searching through hundreds of models and watching shows with different women of all shapes and sizes—I still worried. It was one of the biggest jumps of my life to press that ‘Broadcast’ button. I remember my heart beating wildly in my chest as I watched the usernames enter the room, reading their first assessments of my body and my nature.

It was terrifying.

But I grew a tough skin without knowing it. I prepared myself for the worst and that hardly happened. I found myself brushing off the trolls and pigs that made their way into my room. They were drowned out by the flattery, drowned out by the friendly users who shared themselves with me. Each show became easier and easier—I was able to let go and enjoy that pure sexuality that came with web camming and taking that emotional jump.

I was at a party a few months later and had been approached by some family members whom I had not seen in some time. Like many untactful people, one of them mentioned I looked like I had gained some weight. Those words at one point would have sat in the back of my mind as I unrealistically planned to work out three times a day for the rest of my life. Instead, I found myself smiling and thinking of the many people who would strongly disagree.

What had happened? What was the switch? It wasn’t until I found myself in a relationship that I found how confident I had become. I wanted to shamelessly talk about my experiences and my preferences, I was communicating fetishes with ease and accepting what he presented as if we were discussing the weather. I had become sexually confident in myself and what I loved, and I knew that web camming was to ‘blame’.

Many people assume that web camming, stripping, and the adult industry in general harbors lost girls with no direction or self respect. I find it to be quite the opposite. We are powerful, sexual women who know what we want. We are confident even on days where we feel less than desirable. We have pushed ourselves outside our comfort zone and survived.

I’m not telling you to put down the gauntlet and jump on a web cam. I’m not telling you that the camera takes away all those imperfections you believe you have. I’m saying that sometimes that initial jump into the unknown and push into unfamiliar territory might be what unleashes the confidence you were unaware you had. Life presents you with many opportunities to go outside your comfort zone and grab onto what you want, next time it comes knocking … try pressing the ‘Broadcast’ button.

Have sex with the lights on.

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October 7, 2014
XXX Fitness Tips to have Sex like a Pro
Hello, I am Luke Hardy, a UK adult performer. I am a qualified personal trainer and an ex-commando. I am going to give you an example of a few of my exercises and tips to keep your body toned and in shape so you can give your girlfriend, wife or fuck buddy a good seeing to and look good whilst doing so!

First of all,

NUTRITION
- Drink lots of water every day (2 litres). 3 litres on a training day.
- Avoid fizzy drinks.
- Drink green tea. It is a metabolism booster.
- Avoid processed packet foods. They are full of rubbish.
- Eat fresh meat, fish, nuts and seeds for plenty of protein.
EXERCISES
- Squats. Legs. Stand with your feet a little more then shoulder width apart, bend your legs keeping your knees behind your toes and sit down until your thighs are parallel to the floor.
- Lunges. Legs. Stand up normally, step one foot forwards and bend both legs until your rear knee almost touches the floor. Come back up and change legs.
- Crunches. Abdominals. Lie flat backed on the floor with your knees bent and your feet flat. Put your arms straight out and place them on your knees. Pull your back off the floor and reach over to touch your shins with your fingers.
- Leg Raises. Lower Abdominals. Lie flat on your back with your legs out straight. Put your hands on your stomach and raise your legs until the back of your hips are lifted off the ground.
- Wide Hand Press Ups. Chest and shoulders. Have your hands in a wide position whilst doing press ups.
- Close Hand Press Ups. Arms. Have your hands almost touching whilst doing press ups.
Complete each set of exercise for 30 seconds, 3 times through every morning when you wake up, take note of the number and watch the improvement week to week! When you feel ready, increase the duration to 60 seconds.

This is enough to get anyone started on their fitness journey; I hope you have enjoyed reading!

Luke Hardy

Twitter @hardyxxxl
adultwork.com/2092008
Email:lukehardyxxxl@gmail.com

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October 5, 2014
What makes Alluring Art Sexy?

Alluring Art, the brainchild of Richard Lyon, features classy and sensual erotic photos that seek to capture the intimacies and intricacies of their models.

What makes Alluring Art sexy? Moments. Every time Richard conducts a shoot, the model and he capture real genuine moments that reveal their character and sensuality. It’s the subtle smirks, the way the light wraps around her bottom, the arch of her back. This leaves a beautify imagery, a moment forever captured.

SimplySxy is delighted to feature 8 of Alluring Art’s photos which defines Sexy! Click on and enjoy!

October 4, 2014
Women Eroticism & Massage
Has something shifted in the female psyche!

I have been working as a sensual masseur and sex mentor for nearly 10 years and for most of that time it has been traditionally men who have discovered the pleasure of receiving a professional therapeutic/sensual massage. For men, it is an opportunity to have an experience that is not boundaried by morality or appropriateness but allows, in fact encourages, intimate touch, arousal and orgasm. Popular opinion may have it that men are just looking for a quick turn on & climax when having an erotic massage but in reality many men seeking this experience do so because, quite simply, they love feeling the intimacy of touch and to be able to be cared for unconditionally for an hour or so with no judgement hindering their arousal.

One might ask if this is the same for the women? You would think so and to some degree, enjoying intimate caring touch is a part of the pleasure for women when taking a sensual massage but after giving well over 100 massages to women I can confidently say that this motivation is firmly shared with a need to release a far more carnal energy, an energy that many women are forced to suppress. I have seen many times with my female clients that bubbling below the gentle demure veneer of the ex convent girl and the efficient professional front of businesswomen or the shielded girl who presents a traditional valued lifestyle, lies a very powerful sexual force screaming to be released.

The common theme that most women give me when booking a massage is that the lifestyle they come from or are currently within is not providing them with the physical satisfaction that they desire and often fantasise about. Nature has embedded within the female psyche the need to feel desired, adored and wanted. To my mind, this is not a display of insecurity but more of a very clever strategy of nature. A behavior deeply embedded in all women to ensure that the male she chooses can prove his prowess and assertiveness, his desire and need for her, thus proving his ability to provide her with both a healthy genetic energy as well as be a strong protector and provider for her and her potential offspring.

In Victorian times, this suppression of female sexual desire and the often resulting explosion of passion and sexual energy was diagnosed as a mental disorder and considered as a sexual dysfunction. Known as Hysteria it was often “cured” by “qualified” doctors who “administered” massage of the clitoris (by hand or vibrator) to bring on a release of the disorder by achieving orgasm! Ironically this interpretation although misguided was not that far of the mark in that a women who is sexually suppressed will often fantasise and masturbate to release her anxiety. Fortunately, today women do not need to step into a cold insensitive consulting room to be administered by a crusty old medic. Today, they can explore and experience their natural desires in a safe empathetic environment that encourages and supports whatever sexual expression they want to experience and more and more women are doing this.

If I had to select 5 words to embody the effects of the sensual massage I give to men they would be, arousing, caring, supportive, honouring, bonding. The words I would use to describe the experience of the female enjoying the same massage would be, initially trusting and caring but quickly it shifts to arousing, erotic, explorative, continuous, adventurous, releasing, multi-orgasmic and explosive and finally totally repleted … 5 words are not enough!

Below are some of the reasons my female clients have given for wanting to enjoy a sensual massage.
- I enjoy regular massage, to have my muscles worked professionally but I also want to experience intimate touch so that I can connect with the deeper primal sensual part of myself
- I want to experience a sensual massage in “50 Shades of Grey” manner where the masseur is in complete control and I can just lay back and enjoy his authority with the knowledge that I am ultimately in control of all that takes place. (This style does not include any BDSM or role play but incorporates assertive massage and some physical body lifting as well as strong arousal techniques. Note: This style of massage can only be given to those with average to slim physiques)
- I like to enjoy the firm yet tender touch of a man without the need to perform or give back sexually
- I enjoy receiving arousal and ultimate orgasm through gentle prolonged intimate touch rather than penetrative intercourse
- I have a loss of libido
- I have a fear of intimacy and am embarrassed about my body but still want to enjoy sensual arousal
- I experience painful intercourse, orgasmic dysfunction
- I am insecure and sexual inexperienced and want to learn more about my sexuality as well as how to give excellent sensual arousal to my partners
- I am a single women, who is happy to not be in a relationship and although my sex life is good, I miss the intimacy and tender touch that a relationship brings.
- I believe that it is right to be able to experience arousal and orgasm without commitment and responsibilities of a relationship.
- I want to explore orgasm as I have heard that there are multiple ways a female can achieve this.
- I am in a marriage/partnership where most else is good but the sex and intimacy has declined and I need to receive intimate attention within a safe professional therapeutic environment that is discreet and private that will not challenge my current situation
Is this a growing trend?

Without a doubt, women are becoming far more in touch with their sexual energies and at last becoming less influenced by social and religious constraints that dictate how they should conduct themselves sexually. Almost all the female clients I have seen have come to me for their first ever sensual massage and almost all of them say after that they had wished it had not taken them so long to take the step.

The female sexual dynamic is enormously strong, the urge to procreate and maintain the species is a fundamental role that every women is indentured from birth. With this goes the need for intimacy and caring approving touch, an aspect which sadly can often become lacking in longer term relationships so that if the sex stops, so does the physical intimacy.

Having a sensual massage from a professional masseur allows the female to enjoy this totally natural need but without fear of judgement, expectation even reprisal.

Listen to a brief voice interview I gave recently on female sexual behaviour compared to male sexual behaviour.

To read more on the Kama Sutra Massage For Women CLICK HERE
To book the Kama Sutra Massage for Women with Colin CLICK HERE

This article has been republished with permission from Colin Richards.
Please visit Colin Richards at www.massage33.com/www.intimacymatters.co.uk to view original post and more of Colin’s works.

Image courtesy of Colin Richards
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September 27, 2014