Category: Lifestyle

Emma Watson’s Speech on the F Word

Social media the world over exploded in discussion over one speech on Sept 20. It is none other than Emma Watson‘s HeForShe Speech at the United Nations.

The Speech On Everyone’s Lips

The newly minted UN Goodwill Ambassador for Women, Watson is best known as the actress who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series. Cast as Hermione at the age of nine, Watson has bloomed into a young lady with more than a pretty face.

Watson’s HeForShe Speech was delivered to a standing ovation at UN Headquarters in New York City. Helping to launch the UN Women campaign HeForShe, Watson called for men to advocate for gender equality. HeForShe is a campaign which hopes to inspire one billion men and boys to help end gender inequality.

Emma Watson as a Feminist

Watson said she knew she was a feminist at age eight when she was called “bossy” (a trait she has attributed to her being a “perfectionist”) whilst boys were not, and at 14 when she was “sexualised by certain elements of the press”. Watson also called feminism “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities”. She directly addresses the notion that feminism has come to unfortunately stand for man-hating and how this has to stop.

I am one too!

I identify as a feminist. For more than ten years and before I became a sexologist, I have viewed myself as one. Ever since, I understood what the word meant. Read the open letter I wrote back in 2009 during the Aware saga here.

But I know of many women who insist they were not one as if being a feminist was a f-word with a capital F, as if it was dirty and not to be touched with a 10-foot pole.

For a time, I was became the butt of jokes at social gatherings:

“Don’t look at her so demure. She’s a feminist. She volunteers at…”

“Fierce.”

“Chilli padi.”

“Tell me, Martha. Why do you hate men?”

I do not hate men. There was no point explaining, arguing, protesting or defending myself when your audience is actually just jesting for a fight. Instead I ignored them, kept my head down and remained a closet feminist.

I do believe my work as a Sexologist is feminism in action. After all, where is more vital for men and women to feel empowered than in the bedroom? Pleasure is not one vs. another, all give and no receive, all or nothing. Ecstatic experiences are to be had when one, two or more parties involved are comfortable with their own bodies and their sexuality.

As a sexologist, I have had my share of public and can’t-be-bother-to-repeat private insults and attacks because of my work. This is one blog post by a friendly back in 2011.

If only …

If people knew what feminism meant, they would realise they were all for it. As Watson said, feminism was simply about equal rights for women AND men. What is all this “us vs. them” mentality that exists in our society?

Watson’s speech has created a lot of discussion – good and bad. The good: this is a break down of what makes her speech great.

The bad: She has already being objectified. She has received threats to have her nude photos published as a retailation of her speech. It’s a despicable way to cut a person down to size, and violate them below the belt, isn’t it? This has been viewed as an attack of all women. Feminists are rallying around her.

The Impossible as Possible

Change happens one step, one speech, one day at a time.

Each and every one of us can stand tall, and proud, and speak up for equality.

“I decided that I was a feminist. This seemed uncomplicated to me. But my recent research has show me that feminism has become an unpopular word. Women are choosing not to identify as feminists. Apparently, (women’s expressions is) seen as too strong, too aggressive, anti-men, unattractive.

Why has the word become such an unpopular one? I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that affect my life. I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men.” – Emma Watson

This was one powerful speech on the F word. Watch it here.

Go Emma!

This article and all associated images have been republished with permission from Dr Martha Tara Lee.
Please visit Dr Martha Tara Lee’s website to view original post and more of Dr Martha’s work.

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September 25, 2014
21 Things That I Hate About Gay Culture

I have always viewed the world with rosy colored glasses and when I removed them, I realized that we live in a cynical world. A world that ostensibly seems to be inviting and accepting but in reality is judging and unforgiving. The ones who survive in this harsh world have survival tools that include: thick skin, fake laughter, fake smiles, fake tans, are masters at pretending to be someone different and of course like to label everyone they meet.

I belong to the Gay minority. Gays represent around 8% of the total world population. While I am proud of being Gay, that is not the end of my story. There are so many things in the gay world that I hate.

1. Maintenance and upkeep Spending a substantial portion of your earning on gym, spa, waxing, skin care products and clothes seems like a norm. Trust me, gay men like to judge others based on appearance which is totally superficial.

2. Dating is equivalent to sex When you agree to go for a cuppa coffee or lunch with someone, it means “Hallelujah! I am gonna get lucky tonight!” to most gay men. Most gay men behave like dogs in heat and are sex starved. I have dated men who just wanted a good f*ck, they did not even pretend to get to know me or have a polite conversation.

3. It’s a small world This truly holds true for the gay world. New York City has been my home base for over a decade, even though I travel all over US for work. I have dated several men in NY and on several occasions, the men I met were the ex’s of my own ex’s. Imagine my horror and shock!

4. Casual sex We all go through “Whore Phase” but dropping your pants at any possible prospect is definitely not my cuppa tea. Let’s not forget that gays love to live on the edge and like barebacking. Me and Barebacking? HELL NO!

5. Mirror, Mirror on the wall Gay men never leave an opportunity to check their reflection, be it in their spoons, the sunshades, mirrors in their bags or any other place where they can check their reflection. Seriously, vanity is thy name, GAY!

6. Apps Galore Technology has made our life simpler, but I beg to differ. Gaydar, Grindr and similar apps, take away your privacy. I have been out on a first date with a few men whose phones kept vibrating and I realized that their Grindr apps were active and so were these men!

7. Websites What is wrong with most Gay men? Match.com has become the new craigslist and Linkedin has become the new match.com. People send me invites on professional network, Linkedin, so that they can exchange phone numbers, pictures and finally hook-up. WT* is wrong with gay world? I have been asked out on Linkedin, GROSS! I have pointed out to several men that dude, this is not manhunt account.

8. Subgenres in Gay world I am getting tired of labels and let me tell you that different subgenres of LGBT hate each other. The straight acting gays don’t get along with fem gays and queens. Muscle queens hate drag queens, etc. I am sure you get the picture.

9. Fashion and fads You would think that coming out of closet was an end to oppression, you ain’t got any idea about life after coming out of closet. There is a whole new level of oppression after coming out. Maintaining a toned body (I gained 10 lbs and am hence deemed a misfit in the gay world), going for BOTOX treatment in 20’s, keeping up with the trends, reading fashion magazines, bar hopping and knowing your drinks ( I have never done any of these things and I am considered a freak in the gay world), keeping up with new music and driving an expensive car, whether one can afford or not.

10. Promiscuity Whatever happened to fidelity, monogamy and loyalty in a relationship. You will catch your boyfriend cheating on you within 3 months of being together.

11. Monogamy The moment you tell your date that you are looking for a monogamous relationship and are willing to settle down with the right guy, he is terrorised. He runs away from you as fast as he can. Most guys don’t like being in monogamous relationships as they never stop believing that there is someone better than their current boyfriend.

12. Exaggeration When a gay guy works at cash register at Target, he would say I work in retail. You refer to your last trick or last sexual escapade as “my ex.” Dick size of 5.5′ naturally becomes 7′.

13. Older gay men Older gay gentleman don’t acknowledge their age, in fact, all gay men lie about their age. Older gays still think that they can hook up or find a younger gay man for relationship. They think of themselves as mentors but end up becoming sugar daddies.

14. Haters Being gay is all about being thick skinned as there are haters outside and within the gay community. It’s hard to deal with homophobes and some homosexuals have internalized homophobia, that is really hard to deal with.

15. Gaycation and cruises Some gay men continue to party well beyond their 40’s and 50’s. They never grow up. Okay, I have been asked out by a 72 year old man who wanted to take me on a cruise (I was 29 at that time), while I just met him at a friend’s party. I didn’t know how to react as I was shocked and amused. I politely refused his offer and I still laugh at this incident.

16. Rude gay men Most gay men whom I have met are plain rude. They seem to lack courtesy and have a very standoffish attitude. Its hard to have gay friends as all of them seem to be competing with one another.

17. Cute guys are in demand The average gay guy is normal looking but crazy for cute and hot gay guys. Gays don’t react and respond to average looking gay men. Looks and appearance are on the top of priority list. It seems so shallow.

18. Lies Being versatile essentially means that you can bottom in 10 different positions.

19. Not many tops Biggest challenge in gay world is scarcity of tops.

20. Alcohol, smoking and substance abuse It seems so common in the gay world that I can’t stand it. I am a non-smoker and don’t drink and have never done drugs.

21. Drama Gay life is full of drama, heartaches, ex issues, sexual abuse, substance abuse and cheating and seriously, I am just not comfortable with so much sh*t.

I am tired of being judged and being physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy is important but I don’t want to look like a disaster of plastic surgery and feel like Sh*t. HELL NO!

Is there anything you hate about gay world, comment below and don’t forget to subscribe and share this article.

This article has been republished with permission from Deepak Sood. Please visit Deepak Sood’s website to view original post and more of Deepak’s works.

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September 25, 2014
The Truth About Erotica

Most of my friends know that I’m an erotica writer. I’m very proud of what I do and see no shame in telling people. However, what can get my goat is the various stigmas and myths which are still attached to the genre, despite living in the enlightened 21st century. Here are some of the myths I’ve had to compound.

Myth 1: All erotica are daddy porn and rape fantasies.

Yes, incest (or, at the very least, stepfather/stepmother) and rape (or again, at the very least, reluctance) fantasies play a huge role in erotica. Then again, so do BDSM, supernatural creatures and threesomes. From the very vanilla to the completely depraved, if you can imagine it, someone has written about it. And why not? There’s obviously a market for those themes. Let’s just not get into thinking that there are only two types of erotica. After all, there is no limit to our imaginations.

Myth 2: Erotica is just porn for women.

No, no, no, no, no. For starters, studies have apparently shown that women get just as turned on if not more, as men when it comes to visual stimuli. So to suggest that porn is for men and erotica is for women is just enforcing stereotypes. Men can derive just as much pleasure from reading erotica as women can. Of course watching porn is easier, but erotica provides much more scope for the imagination. And there’s also the added benefit of reading it with your partner to get ideas …

Myth 3: “Oh, you write erotica. That means you write fan fiction, yeah?”

I loathe this. Mainly because I hate any kind of fan fiction: in my opinion, it’s lazy writing. This view is not helped by the fact that one of erotica’s most well-known writers started out writing erotic Twilight fan fiction (E.L. James, in case you’ve been living in a cave) which led to the mega successful 50 Shades. Fan fiction makes up a very small percentage of all erotica. Of course, I can see the attraction of imagining your favourite actor, singer or whatever in various sexual situations (candlelit bath with Benedict Cumberbatch, anyone?). But most of us are happier creating our own characters.

So there, we have three common myths about erotica debunked. Remember, keep an open mind when reading erotica. It’s a lot more varied than you think and, you never know, you may discover some hidden desires.

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September 22, 2014
Gay ‘cure’ victim in China petitions World Health Organization for help and sues clinic

90,000+ All Out members join call to WHO Director-General:

“Being gay is not a mental disease”

Paris/Beijing | August 29, 2014

In 72 hours, more than 90,000 All Out members will have signed the petition of a Chinese gay ‘cure’ survivor. The petition urges the World Health Organization’s (WHO) Executive Director to re-affirm the organisation’s stated position that being gay is not a mental disease and to unequivocally condemn gay ‘cures’ for the first time.

Chinese petition starter Xiao Zhen*, 30, is the first person to sue an anti-gay clinic in China, after it used electroshock therapy to try to “shock the gayness” out of him. Xiao Zhen* is leading a global outcry to push WHO to speak out and help convince Chinese officials to ban sham gay ‘cures’ that are spreading throughout the country.

“I’ve been through electro shocks at a gay ‘cure’ clinic in China. Now I’m fighting back to tell everyone in China and beyond that being gay is Okay and to make sure that gay ‘cures’ are banned,” said Xiao Zhen*. “Together with 90,000 All Out members, I’m calling on WHO to back me up and send a simple message to Chinese authorities and the Chinese medical community: Being gay is okay! It’s not a disease. No one should have to endure the trauma that I have, ever again.”

Last July, after enduring the sham ‘treatment’, Xiao Zhen* filed the first lawsuit against a gay ‘cure’ clinic in China. The ruling of this landmark legal battle is expected in September and could mean that gay ‘cures’, or so-called ‘conversion therapy’, could be banned nationwide.

“The global mobilisation and the trial could be a game changer for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in China and the rest of the world. The World Health Organization has the authority to persuade the political and medical authorities to ban gay ‘cures’, said Andre Banks, All Out’s Co-founder and Executive Director. “WHO Executive Director, Dr Margaret Chan can use her powerful voice to help ban gay ‘cures’ for good.”

China stopped viewing homosexuality as a mental disease in 2001. Despite this official recognition, thousands of clinics in the country continue to offer sham gay ‘cures’.

“In China, being gay is still seen as something that can be cured, and thousands of scam clinics prey on that myth. Despite official recognition by the government that being gay is not a mental disease, parents and doctors are pressuring gay people to undergo phoney treatments.” said Xiao Tie, Executive Director of the Beijing LGBT Centre who is backing the legal action and joining All Out’s global mobilisation.

“These sham gay ‘cures’ kill. Their persistence perpetuates discrimination and can have disastrous, or even fatal consequences for the gay or lesbian person subjected to the painful and humiliating treatments.” said Tingting Wei, Executive Director of the Chinese gay rights organization Queer Comrades, who has staged protests in support of the lawsuit and is also supporting All Out’s global mobilisation.

For an up-to-date petition signature count click here:

www.allout.org/end-gay-cures-china

* This is a pseudonym

About All Out

In 77 countries, it is a crime to be gay; in 10 it can cost you your life. All Out is mobilizing millions of people and their social networks to build a powerful global movement for love and equality. Our mission is to build a world where no person will have to sacrifice their family or freedom, safety or dignity, because of who they are or who they love.

The Beijing LGBT Center and Queer Comrades are Chinese gay rights organisations.

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September 20, 2014
5 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You

Growing up and into my teenage years, I had spent an unhealthy amount of time on arcade machines, reading epic fantasy novels and watching Japanese anime while most of my peers were beginning to discover that the opposite gender was perhaps not so annoying and pesky after all. In fact, I was pretty much clueless about the cues of a blooming relationship and was unknowingly labelled as a “play hard to get bitch” as I’d go out on second, third dates with a guy I had zero interest in dating mainly because I didn’t know how to reject someone and on other occasions, I had absolutely no idea that it was a date.

When I am clear about my interest in a guy, I would be proactive and explicit about my feelings but when it comes to those who am only keen on having a platonic friendship, I would always be curt and avoid solo meet ups as much as possible (which unfortunately, some dudes still don’t get it). For the guys out there who are wondering if the girl you’re into feels the same about you, you may want to consider the below signs before professing your undying love for her.

Last minute date flakes

No girl is ever too busy to hang out with the subject of her affection. I have flaked and cancelled on guys due to genuine urgent work requests and then, there’s “work requests”. That said, the huge difference between a genuine flake and the ‘desperate last resort’ is that I will be sure to reschedule the date within the same week in the instance of the former while for the latter, I’ll generally put it off and cross my fingers that he’ll eventually get the hint.

She doesn’t reply to your messages

Apart from those who are into the devious mind wrenching “no contact” crap (in this case, she might just be VERY interested in you and you may want to reconsider your options), chances are that she will not be uncontactable for more than 24 hours unless you’re out of her thoughts and mind. Things simply cannot be any more clear-cut than this. If she likes you, she will respond as soon as she is able.

Declines to be sent back home

This goes to show a lot about the level of comfort that she has with you. Usually the walk back together to her apartment is a prelude to “coming up for a cup of coffee” which is most likely to lead to a nice smooch … or something more. A woman who is not interested would rather part ways and trudge the five miles from the subway station in those loathsome stilettos than risk putting herself in a potentially awkward situation.

Tries to hook you up with another friend

You are elated when she’s finally keen to find out more about your interests, dating history, and family members when bam! she ends the night saying, “You really should meet my friend (inserts female name)”. This is a clear sign that you’ve been friend-zoned. She’s only having those intimate chats with you because you are potential boyfriend material … for her girlfriend.

Mentions her ex

It is perfectly fine if you had asked her about her past relationships or she casually mentions why things with her previous partner didn’t work out. However, if she is constantly making references or ranting about that douchebag of an ex, you should back out and throw the towel in for now as she’s definitely far from ready and might even be using you as a tool to get him back. Nobody wants to date an angsty woman, even more so for one who has yet to get over her ex.

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September 18, 2014
What’s on your Sex Bucket List?

You’re probably familiar with the concept of a bucket list. It’s a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket (in other words, things you want to experience before you die). A few years ago, I was watching a video of a woman riding a Sybian and immediately knew that was something I needed to try in my lifetime. That night, my sex bucket list (SBL) was born. What’s on that list isn’t as important as the liberation that comes from acknowledging my fantasies and my sexual desires, and giving myself permission to dream and explore.

So, what kinds of things might go on an SBL? Mine includes things like:

– Ride a Sybian.
– Be in an adult film with porn star James Deen.
– Attend a sex camp or a sex resort with a lover.
– Get double penetrated by a lover when he is wearing the Deuce harness by Spareparts.
– Have sex in the ocean.
– Try a full blown tantric ritual.

I may never do some of the things on my list, either because the opportunity never arises or because, when push came to shove, I wouldn’t have the courage to follow through with it. Additionally, other things aren’t particularly practical. But practicality isn’t the point. The point is to think big and bold and wild (your version of big and bold and wild— don’t compare your list to anyone else’s). The point is to use your imagination, to dare to put yourself in sex situations that are outside your normal day-to-day experience. An SBL gives you permission to embrace the erotic and delve into new spaces, safely.

Your SBL might be a way for you to document your favorite fantasies. Each time you see a porn video that you love or a sexy image of something you want to try, add that activity to your list. Another fun thing is for you and a partner to share your SBLs with each other to find new and exciting ways to ramp up your sex life. I might never make a porn with James Deen, but that doesn’t mean my lover and I can’t act one out or role play a favorite scene in front of a camera at home.

Sex isn’t about practicalities or obligations. Sex is about adult playtime, using your imagination, and finding new ways to create pleasure. Don’t put limits or restrictions on your SBL. Make it your own—anything from learning how to give a great blow job to trying anal, from hiring a Dominatrix to humiliate you to making love to someone special.

The only rule I have for SBLs is this: never shame or judge what’s on your list or what’s on someone else’s list. It takes courage to name our fantasies and sexual desires, especially if we’re diving deep and exploring stuff that’s not often considered “normal” by society. Now pull out a piece of paper or your favorite note-taking app and start fantasizing. Feeling brave? Share an item or two from your SBL in the comments below. Maybe your item will inspire someone else’s fantasy.

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September 17, 2014
Human Affection—Can We Live Without It?

‘What happens to humans who never get touched?’

‘How long can I live without human affection?’

‘What happens when people are not touched by other people?’

How do these statements make you feel? They make me feel sad. My heart sinks each time I read them. What makes my heart sink even further is that these statements are the most used search terms that take people to my blog over at mattatlotus.com.

Why are people searching for these? What is it that is lacking in society today that results in human beings—our brothers and sisters—sitting alone at home perusing the internet to find out what happens if they never get touched?

The tagline on my website reads: ‘because everybody needs to be held’ and there is an obvious reason for this. This statement lets people know that I work differently. Sure, it is about the sex, of course it is. Yes, it is also about exploring our darker nature together but it is, absolutely and categorically about making love too. My clients are my clients. I do not feel any unnecessary emotional attachment to them after the session is over. This is simply not healthy or helpful to either of us. I do, however, feel a sense of care, high regard and yes, affection towards whomever it is I am working with at any given time. The above search terms should tell you just why my work has evolved in this way and also, I hope, this will encourage you to get out there and start hugging!

Before you do that, let me just remind you of something very important about us human beings: we are interdependent by nature. We need each other to carry out certain tasks and we rely on our interconnectedness to go about our daily lives. What would we do if the refuse workers forgot to collect our rubbish? Where would we be if the key holder to our offices couldn’t be bothered to turn up at work? What would happen if the teachers didn’t arrive at school each day? Disease. Poor profits. Stupid children. To name just three examples of how one apparently unrelated event or absence can have a negative impact on another. Now, let’s start hugging …

There was some research done many years ago on the human touch and the need for human affection. I won’t go into the details here because you are here on SimplySxy for a reason and I’m damn sure being blinded by statistics isn’t it, but I will tell you this: the findings showed that we do need human affection, physical touch and support in order to feel happy. We do need each other so that our bodies and minds work properly.

When you have sex, your endorphins (happy chemicals) rush around your body and your serotonin (more happy chemicals) levels rise. These make you feel better. It really is that simple … and sexy … SimplySxy … sorry couldn’t resist but let’s be serious for a moment. When we don’t have sex, the opposite happens and when we are not being touched at all … we’re fucked.

I speak from experience and if you take a look at my blog at some point, or if you stick around here in the weeks to come I will tell you all about it. I am a sex worker for a reason. You do the job you do for a reason. I am sure we are both so very good at our jobs for reasons! Everything, everything dear reader, is connected. So … Please, please and a final big please: get yourself out there, in the real world and make some friends, meet some lovers, make love to a whore and really, really connect with someone. If you are all alone, be brave, be bold and be confident in the knowledge that it isn’t just you. There are others in the same boat of loneliness and that means … drum roll please: that you’re not alone at all!

There is something else that I say on my website and I am going to say it to you here too. Partly, I want to apologise for repeating it, I don’t really like to repeat content across my platforms but this one really is the exception and you will see it on my website, on my blog and now here, on SimplySxy:

Psst! You, yes you! Lean in, are you leaning? Listen closely. Are you listening? I want you to know something: I want you to know that whoever you are, wherever you are from, no matter where on the planet you currently reside, irrelevant of your spiritual/political/religious/social beliefs, inclusive of your gender/sexuality/colour/background and fully embracing of every aspect of yourself that makes you you—You. Are. Loved.

Yes, you are.

BIG! HUGE! GINORMOUS Hug!

Matt xXx

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September 15, 2014
Lesson learnt from interracial same-sex relationship

While we assume the world has become more open-minded toward interracial relationships, the racial tension in Ferguson seems to be reminding us that the issue of race is more complicated than we thought. Being in a same-sex relationship has not been easy in this hetero-dominant world, let alone complicate things further when looking at it from a racial perspective. As a gay man who is currently in a long-distance, interracial same-sex relationship, I have learned to sustain my relationship in a hard way. I’ve been glared at when I walked down Walnut Street in Center City Philadelphia with my African-American partner, and there were even incidents when a homeless lady cursed at our presence as we walked by. I have come to realize that learning how to handle disrespectful glares and curses is part of the lessons that come with an interracial same-sex relationship.

Like most people, my interracial relationship kicks off with love at first sight when we met at a friend’s wedding. Then things developed so smoothly that I never thought about the sensitive fact of being in an interracial relationship. I only became conscious about it when my mom reacted dramatically after learning about my romance with an African-American partner. Her reaction simply reflects the prejudice and misunderstanding that has long been attached to racial issues, while representing the fundamental challenges interracial relationship often face. I began to notice the number of times when people showed signs of disagreement with regard to my interracial same-sex relationship. Their first reactions upon learning that I am dating an African-American man were shock, followed by moments of silence. Rarely have I received immediate positive responses from many of my friends.

Soon after the honeymoon period, doubts started to creep into my head as I continued to feel judged by others. Thoughts of giving in to the social pressure was incubating and tensions between me and my boyfriend began to stem from our serious discussions about interracial relationships. While he made it clear that he would never give up what we’ve earned so easily, I showed signs of being skeptical about our “future.” As that sense of uncertainty grew stronger with my withering will to defend our relationship, I started to intentionally avoid direct contact with my boyfriend. For weeks, I denied all his attempts to get a hold on me, while struggling to determine whether an interracial relationship was right for me. I not only blamed myself for failing to uphold my personal goal of remaining racially neutral, but also had difficulty justifying the way I handled this extra-delicate situation.

After being haunted by the confusion and growing sense of guilt toward my interracial relationship, I reached out to my boyfriend, hoping to work things out. To my surprise, he didn’t hesitate to welcome me back to his life with a big hug. While giving me time to explain what was previously going through my mind, he never failed to remind me of the amount of love, dedication and time that he is willing to devote to our interracial relationship. I finally understand that like other forms of relationships, interracial relationship is built upon mutual trust, love, and dedication. It only becomes more complicated when people choose to judge it from the racial perspective, which often times, can push things to the extreme. As one of the agents of this growing trend, I should never let racial issues get in the way of the pure creation of love and dedication between me and my boyfriend. It is only when I can comfortably recognize the fact that I am in a interracial relationship, should I regard myself as racially neutral. The element of race is a mere superficial difference in an interracial relationship and at the end of the day, the core of interracial relationship still belongs to the degree of mutual commitment from both parties.

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September 13, 2014
Celebrity Scandal, Nude Photos, and the Perpetuation of Rape Culture

By now, most people have heard/read about/possibly gotten over the whole nude photo scandal that occurred when an anonymous website user gained access to and posted numerous personal photos of several female celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and Ariana Grande in various stages of nudity. Whether or not you care about celebrity news or are a fan of one of the victims, this is a worthwhile situation to think about and discuss. Taking and posing for sexy nude photos should be something a woman can do without risk or fear of people other than the intended audience seeing them because stealing these images from their owners is a crime and publishing them on the Internet without consent is a gross violation and should be viewed as sexual assault and anyone who subsequently distributes and promotes the publicity of these photos is participating in that sexual assault. Any one who thinks it is “not that big of a deal,” rolls their eyes, and comments that the women in these photos should not care or should even embrace the fact that the entire world can now view their naked bodies and use the images as they like is contributing to the ever-pervasive and destructive rape culture that has become engrained into our society.

The point that needs to be made clear here, is that this is an issue of consent. Women who take and pose for nude photos with the intention and permission given for distribution on the Internet are within their rights to do that. The situation with these celebrity photos is very different. These women were not posing for photos to be shared with the public. These were not nude scenes shot for a film or a magazine spread. These were intimate, vulnerable moments that were meant for personal use. Their consent was not given. What this anonymous hacker did was steal their personal property, commit an act of sexual assault, and then invited others to share in the violation.

Jennifer Lawrence’s photos have been discussed the most due to her current reign as Hollywood’s “It girl.” Many people, including self-proclaimed devoted fans of Lawrence are saying that she should “own it” or even laugh it off in her typical “I don’t give a f*ck, things aren’t that serious” Jennifer Lawrence way. Why would she be upset that millions of people are getting enjoyment out of viewing her naked body? Don’t she and all other celebrities WANT that kind of attention? If she didn’t think there would be a chance the public would see these photos why would she take them? In fact, GQ (a predominately male-intended and male-viewed magazine) has chosen Kim Kardashian as its “Woman of the Year,” an honor that includes a nude photo spread in the magazine. So, if we “honor” a woman by having her pose nude in sexually enticing positions, then it must be completely acceptable for us to want to see photos like this of other female celebrities, right? No big deal. Lawrence and those other women should get over it. IT’S AN HONOR to have your naked body on display so people can enjoy it.

These responses, my friends, are a part of rape culture. “They should have expected the photos to be leaked when they posed for them” can be equated to “She should have expected to be sexually assaulted when she decided to wear that skirt.” And “Lawrence should laugh this off” equates to “You know she probably enjoyed it/wanted it/likes the attention” after a woman is sexually assaulted. And just as some people want to help prevent women and girls from being raped by teaching them self-defense, telling them not to walk alone, etc., so to is the initial response of “don’t take these kinds of photos” or “be more careful with where they are stored.” It’s victim blaming. While both sets of advice may intend to help the individual avoid situations should a crime occur, it ignores the perpetrator and what should be done to prevent THEM. We need to address the issue of privacy and safety at hand and focus on the criminal act that occurred. We need to stop shrugging off the fact that these women were violated and rightly deserve to be angry/hurt/however they genuinely feel. We need to stop acting entitled to tell them how they should feel or act as a victim of such a crime. And we need to teach children/young people/adults –both men and women–that this was an act of sexual assault and is WRONG. The answer is not to stop taking sexy photos. Just as the answer to preventing rape is not for women to stop wearing skirts.

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September 9, 2014
Benefits Of Nude Tantric Massage

Not only is a nude tantric massage a wonderful way to spend some time with your partner, it also has many health benefits. It is clear that men and women are very different in physical appearance, but their bodies do share some common themes when it comes to sensual relaxation.

The first obvious benefit of nude tantric massage is stress reduction. Stress cannot remain in a truly relaxed body. Tantric Massage aims to relax every fiber of the being thus stress is thoroughly removed. In addition, the mental state of calm and euphoria that follows, last long after your session has ended. Day to day difficulties that must be addressed are viewed and tackled in a completely new and relaxing way.

Increased vitality and energy is provided via tantric massage. Energy prolongs youth, massage in general along with tantric touch therapy certainly slows the ageing process. The body is able to renew and repair itself more quickly and easily. Moreover, life in general has a more passionate and pleasant hint.

A unique feature of tantric massage is addressing sexual problems in both men and women. To experience and be more aware of sensations is a very liberating experience. Awareness of tantric breathing technique leads to greater control of ejaculation. In addition, some tantric techniques can help men to extend his lovemaking by delaying orgasm.

Correct breathing is an integral part of the tantric massage process that helps in everyday life, especially when there is danger of feelings or emotions becoming out of control. A destructive emotions like anger can be decreased rapidly and more balanced feeling take it’s place. The joy of being touched in a tantric way, allows you to deal more easily with the problems of life.

There is great confusion in the Western imagination when it comes to nude tantric massage. It has become the custom to attach the meaning of a sexual service or a type of seedy massage where everything is allowed except the act; not true.

There are tantric terms for the sexual organs. The penis is referred to as the ‘Lingam’ and is translated as ‘Wand of Light’ it is viewed and honored as that which channels creative energy and pleasure. The vagina is known as ‘the Yoni’ translated as the “sacred space” or “sacred temple.” In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love, care and respect.

So what is a Nude Tantric Massage?

Relating to relaxation and copious amounts of pleasure, Tantric masssage has been practised for centuries and is derived from the Sanskrit word Tan/Tantra, meaning to expand, extend or to bring forward. It is performed “totally naked” in a bid to encourage a sense of liberation, exclude daily responsibilities and obligations that induce stress of any kind. Of course the choice remain yours. Your tantric masseuse sees your entire body as a whole, thus all areas of the body is treated/touched unlike a conventional massage.

It is the art of prolonging pleasure and relaxation both mentally and physically without reaching or choosing when to reach orgasm as described in the Kama Sutra, the Hindu sex manual written in the 4th century.

A tantric couple massage can includes “Karezza” the term used to define a male’s practice of pleasuring his partner and prolonging their intercourse by perpetuating his state of climax without actually ejaculating. These so called “dry orgasms”, orgasms without ejaculation, are extremely pleasurable, and still allow the sexual act to continue.

Couples are encouraged to explore, often resulting in intercourse with ‘each other’ your masseuse coaches on what to do to enhance the whole experience if requested.

The MAJESTIC Nude Tantric Massage is performed by a selection of skilled, naturist masseuses who visit you at home or in your hotel suite. Visits to us in private Central London Studios can be arranged in advance.

Known as the Executive Nude Tantric Massage, MAJESTIC tantric massages are a great way to ease stress and jet-lag, prepare you for stressful meetings or simply to put the fizz back into your life. It’s also a great way to rekindle faltering flames in relationships or a treat for yourself.

Read more and view Video by visiting www.majesticlondonmassage.com

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September 7, 2014