Category: Kink

Celebrating Male Chastity Day

Today is International Male Chastity Day. You may not have known that because, last I checked, they’re still not selling cards for it in the grocery store and it hasn’t been made a bank holiday (yet). Sort of like Grandparent’s Day (which is also a thing, at least in the US). The motivation behind Male Chastity Day may have been equal parts commercial and sincerity. In 2014, UK-based fetish shop UberKinky picked February 15th (http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/blog/2014/01/30/international-male-chastity-day/) to celebrate male chastity (and maybe sell a few chastity devices along the way). While 2015 is only its second year of existence, male chastity enthusiasts (such as myself) have embraced it.

“Male chastity” is typically defined as locking a man’s cock up in some kind of device so he can’t derive any pleasure from it at all, let alone have an orgasm. Though there are practitioners who choose to use only the iron will of their determination to maintain their chaste state. It’s a misconception that men in chastity aren’t having sex. That’s not at all true. The main reason to practice male chastity is because, when done properly, it leads to greatly enhanced intimacy between partners and, indeed, really fantastic sex. Just as long as your definition of sex doesn’t necessarily involve one partner fucking the other and/or coming at the end.

My wife and I have been using male chastity in our marriage for more than seven years. Over those years, I’ve been locked up easily more than 75% of the time and have had significantly fewer orgasms than my unlocked peers (one year, I only had three). But, I have also had some of the best sex of my entire life and am closer now to my wife than at any time in our relationship, even counting when we first met and right after we got married. Some people use chastity situationally or in a scene. Not us. It’s an integrated dynamic in our relationship. As fundamental now as anything can be between two people.

It’s not an easy bargain to make. In a real way, chastity asks a man to give up the most basic of those things that define his masculinity. Namely, access to and use of his penis. It makes him stop and really think about how he can pleasure his partner in ways not involving him sticking his parts into theirs. I recall when my wife and I first started having sex this way and how hard I had to think about her, and my hands and my mouth and all the other secondary sex organs I had at my disposal, and how they could interact with her body in new and interesting ways. But in doing so, I became a much better lover. Much more in tune with her desires and her pleasure. And, the longer I was denied my own orgasm or access to my own body, the more her desires and pleasure became my sole focus in love-making. Her orgasm became my ultimate goal.

But I never felt as though I was missing anything. In fact, the most fascinating aspect of being denied an orgasm is how it starts to become self-perpetuating. How addictive the hormones of denial are and the salubrious affects they can have on one’s relationship. I felt younger and more alive when I stopped coming regularly. I felt far more connected to my wife and more invested in our relationship. That’s another thing about chastity and orgasm denial: It’s often the male partner’s idea but, once established, his partner can become even more invested in continuing than he is.

I don’t think male chastity is for everyone, but I do think the benefits are that more couples could benefit from trying it than they do so today. What better day than International Male Chastity Day to try it with your partner?

Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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February 15, 2015
The Art of Spanking

A collection of fantastic original art by RedRump. Watch out for his article on Spanking Art later this month but for now, enjoy and admire RedRump’s finest artworks in their full glory.

Fetch My Belt

On The Knee

Towards Domestic Harmony

Your Turn!

A Job Well Done

Apron

Beauty and the Brush

The Girl Loves Stripes

Woodshed

Images courtesy of RedRump

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February 15, 2015
Will I make a good Submissive?
Am I really cut out to be… a submissive?

It’s a common and concerning question for many of us when we first begin to explore ourselves. Where do I belong in the jungle of this lifestyle? What is right for me among all these titles? Am I really cut out to be a…submissive? It can be a little alarming, and a bit confusing. For those of us who are submissive, we usually learn that way pretty quickly. For myself, I always lived this way before I started to really “live” this way. I’ve always, even at a young age, had that inner desire to serve and please.

Many things can lead us away from the path of submission. Lack of confidence, being unsure about what we really and fully desire, and of course… not knowing what we should do, or what will be expected of us. I’ve also heard some expressed worry that they will lose who they are, or lose power over themselves. I want to discuss these topics and hopefully put some minds at ease, and perhaps help others decide if this is the right path for them.

Confidence.

This is a biggie. Like most things in life, if we do not have confidence, we will constantly doubt ourselves. We all struggle with this at times. And usually, there is a reason behind why we feel this way, beyond all that Dr. Freud-type self analyzing.

A common reason would be: We feel less confident because we worry about what people may say or how they may think about us. How people will look at us differently perhaps. Some people that may be unfamiliar with the lifestyle can picture a submissive as a weak, small thing with no confidence. Someone with no voice. And one of the worst that I have heard… a door mat. I am here to tell you, that is so far from the truth. And the good news is, that old visual of us is not as popular as it once was. Thanks to the internet, books, and even mainstream movies, many more people now understand, even if it is not something that they would consider for themselves.

The fact is, the more submissives you meet, the more you will see that they are usually opposite from those old stereotypes. They are empowered, free, often very strong willed… some even impishly so *cough*, and anything but weak or lacking confidence.

With that said, I’ll let you in on something else I have learned. I have never, ever in my life until Sir and I entered the local and online community… seen such a loving bunch of people. One of the most common rules I see given to submissives, are ones that help them RAISE their confidence. Or ones that do not allow them to self bad talk. Not many Dominant’s will tolerate their sub bad talking themselves. We get taught to love ourselves, and take care of ourselves – inside and out.

Not being sure if it’s what you desire.

This one, I think, is the easiest to cover. Almost every single submissive I have ever spoken with has agreed that it’s not something that we do, or just want. It’s part of who we are. It doesn’t go away. The desire to please is often strong in us, especially once we realize it is there. Does it mean that we are submissive in all aspects of our lives? Of course not, there are many submissive’s that are fully dominant in other areas such as parenting, work, or other vanilla areas in life.

The biggest thing I tell those new to the lifestyle who have came to me has been this – stop worrying about what is right for everyone else, and take a look into yourself. Is this who you are? Do you have that desire to please? Are you eager to hear words of approval and satisfaction? From serving Him/Her coffee in a way that pleases Them, to greeting Them at the foot of the bed or by the front door at the end of the day. It’s there inside of you. Sometimes, you just need to stop worrying about what comes after, and acknowledge that it is in fact there, and a part of who you are.

Being unsure of what to do, or what will be expected of you.

Is He/She really going to want me to do this or that….? Is He/She really going to throw me over a stool and spank me pink?! Will I have to kneel on, ack, Legos?! Well, maybe. But, remember, there are limits in everything. And here is where you can be at ease and know, if you do not already, that all respectful Dominants respect Hard and Soft limits, even in punishment.

They will also follow things like, Safe Sane and Consensual, or RACK.
- SSC: Safe: attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health
Sane: activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible frame of mind

Consensual: all activities should involve the full consent of all parties involved.
- RACK: Risk-aware: Both or all partners are well-informed of the risks involved in the proposed activity.
Consensual: In light of those risks, both or all partners have, of sound mind, offered preliminary consent to engage in said activity.

Kink: Said activity can be classified as alternative sex.

One of the many things to enjoy in being a submissive, is learning and trying new things. And with the right Dominant, you will hopefully find someone who will know when to help you push your limits, if you want them pushed. Nothing is more important than FULL honesty, and FULL communication. It also means establishing trust. Your Dominant, would and should expect full honesty in all things; not to be some nosy bossy type, but to keep you safe. Mentally and physically.

Worries of losing who you are.

One of the biggest things I have found in myself since I started embracing my submissiveness and living this way 24/7, is that I haven’t lost any parts of me. Instead, I have gained. It set me free from things deep within myself that are hard to even put into words. I don’t feel I have lost the power over myself, but that I have gained it. I think you’ll find many who agree on this, for it’s a common self-realization many of us seem to have. It’s hard to explain, but trust me on this – if you find that this is the path for you, and can work through these very normal, initial feelings – you will get it. For me, when I hit that point, it was as if a huge light bulb went on over my head.

I understood where I belonged, finally. I understood my deepest desires, and that me being submissive wasn’t something to learn, but rather something to embrace. It goes beyond any physical act or lessons that we can be taught. It’s there, deep inside of you, and once you recognize that it’s there.. you can, without a doubt be cut out to be a submissive. Trust your feelings, trust who you are, and then get ready for the ride of your life. It’s truly one of the most fulfilling and satisfying things you will ever do, if it is indeed your path. After that, the rest will come. Sore bottoms, Lego kneeling and all.

Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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February 13, 2015
How To Spank Your Wife
Hi, DH here! I told Julia I had an idea for a blog post about how to give a spanking, and she asked me to actually write it! What follows is my best attempt.

My beautiful wife and I have been practicing ttwd for the better part of a year now. Our understanding of what ‘that thing we do’ means has changed dramatically over time. In the beginning, it was just me spanking her, usually after she asked for it repeatedly, and then finding out that the spanking wasn’t long enough afterward. Things have since changed. Just a couple of days ago, I felt myself starting to melt down under the stress of working at home with a flaky VPN connection, getting ready to leave early to see my oldest daughter safely on campus, and some critical tasks at work that were hanging over my head. I turned to Julia and told her I felt like I was ‘jumping the rails.’

Julia: You’re not jumping the rails, though.
Me: I know, but I am so frustrated! Nothing is working!
Julia: I understand. What do you want to do?
Me: I … I want to give you a spanking!
Julia: OK. You are the head of the house. Why don’t you?
Me: Yeah, that’s right! Why don’t I?

I bent her over our bed right there and started spanking her as hard as I could though her jeans. She started whimpering right away—I really let her have it. After about 20 swats, my hand hurt so badly I had to switch sides, and then started spanking her just as hard with my other hand. With every muffled swat, I could feel my rational mind returning. Even before we were done, I had figured out a plan for solving my problems. That spanking made the difference between having a horrible, frustrating, failure of a day, and what it actually was: one of our best days ever.

The person who really benefited the most from the spanking? Me.

We’ve both experimented. Julia used to make me work a little to get her to submit to a spanking, but noticed that I respond better when she offers her submission instead. This has changed the dynamic between us and strengthened our trust. We’ve experimented with rules, but I give her a spanking at least once a week, no matter what. I am constantly asking her how she feels and I read her blog to find out what her perceptions are after a spanking. I’ve learned a lot that way!

To be honest, Julia started us on this journey. She read about it on TakenInHand and thought it would be a good direction for us. She was basically wearing the pants in our relationship at that time and was really tired of doing all of the heavy lifting. Looking back, I believe that many men have been unmanned by the feminism movement, to the point of disengaging with relationships because we just don’t understand what women WANT anymore. In my case, I’d also lost my job during the recession and my confidence as well. When she started pointing me at TakenInHand’s articles after we had the ‘spanking talk’, I started to realize the potential implications if we tried this in our marriage: what if one of us decided we didn’t want to anymore? What if I actually hurt her and she didn’t trust me anymore? What if I could never ‘do it right?’

What if trying ttwd ruined our marriage?

But I liked it. She liked it. I’m unbalancing my laptop on my lap just typing about it. We talked about various scenarios,about how we would talk about how we felt at each step along the way. I promised her that if we tried it, I would always go slowly, no matter what. We realized an essential, permanent truth: once we started on this path, we wouldn’t be going back.

So this is my little guide for seekers of information about giving your wife a spanking. While I’m writing this with the first-time spanking couple in mind, I also hope that most of these steps apply to every spanking.
1. Take her in hand. When it’s time for a spanking, gently take her by the hand and lead her to your spanking place. Tell her it’s time for a spanking to help her get ready. Be firm, but friendly. Strong, but kind. Patient, but absolutely unwilling to back down once you establish that this event, this spanking is on. I tell Julia to go get ready for her spanking, which can mean a particular pair of panties, or sometimes her whole outfit. I tell her to get a particular implement and put it within easy reach. I like to have her wait for me by standing by our bed so that she has time to think about the spanking coming up.
2. Discuss safety. Let her have a ‘safe’ word, or some other way to tell you to stop for real if she’s having a serious problem. Like everything else I’ve experienced in ttwd, the safety talk works for you AND her: it reminds you that her safety is important, and that you have her trust to keep her safe.
3. Go slowly, always. Agree with her that it’s OK to have a light spanking that doesn’t do much, especially when trying a new implement. Most guys aren’t born knowing how to spank, so my advice is to freely admit that you don’t know what you’re doing right away, and try to set expectations accordingly. Our first spanking was nothing more than some light slaps on her ass that really didn’t amount to much. I take the same approach with each new implement we try. The truth is that I don’t want to hurt her, and at the same time, I want to find out where her limit is for the spanking. The only way to do that is to take a slow approach and give yourself plenty of time DURING the spanking to figure it out. There’s nothing wrong with stopping and just caressing her with your hand (or the implement you happen to be using at the time) until you start up again.
4. Talk to her while you’re spanking. I love to lecture Julia about why I’m spanking her, even if she’s not in trouble. I tell her about how much more confident I am at work, or how much I love the shape of her ass as I’m spanking it. I tell her when I’m switching implements so she has time to get ready for the feel of the paddle when I bring it out. Sometimes, I have her count the swats when I’m spanking her hard across both cheeks. On a few occasions, it’s been necessary for me to lecture Julia about rules she’s broken, which is the only time I will require her to answer me during a spanking.
5. Always (always!) follow through. Until recently, I have been really bad with this. Julia has been very frustrated on more than one occasion where I promised her a spanking earlier in the day, and then failed to deliver. Not cool! For us, I think the best method is not saying anything about an upcoming spanking until I tell her to get ready for it. I can’t always guarantee that I’ll have enough energy at the end of the day to make good on a promise I made in the younger, fresher part of the day.
6. Don’t spank angry. Or, don’t spank her angrily. Even if she’s broken a critical rule (one of ours is that Julia may not leave the house without her phone), I am committed to letting the spanking do the work of correction for both of us, without needing to yell at her or punish her in some other way. The spanking itself is the way we hold each other accountable.
7. Dominate her. I used to make the mistake of asking Julia if she wanted a spanking. Looking back, it seems silly, almost like me asking her if I could go to the bathroom. It’s not her decision! If there’s going to be a spanking, I’m going to be the one giving it out, and I’ll be deciding how, when, and where. I will gently lead her to the time, place, and method, and administer the spanking. In one of our recent spankings, I had her turn around and bend over to show me her thong. I let her stand there, bent over, so I could enjoy the view, while I lightly played with her ass.
8. Warm her up, and cool her down. This is really a style issue, but it could be useful for beginners. My spankings are typically 3 parts: warm up, which I perform with my hand over her panties, and then on her bare skin. When her ass is glowing red, I switch to an implement (like our favorite leather paddle), and spank her with that. I like to vary the tempo to keep her guessing about when the next strike will come, and also give her a little time to recover. I finish every spanking with my hand again, which is the ‘cool down’ phase.
9. Express your love for her after the spanking. We usually end up making love after a spanking, which lets me continue dominating her. She’s been able to have multiple orgasms after we started ttwd, and I think the spanking heightens her sexual experience. I always hold her and make sure she knows I love her after spanking her.
10. Listen and learn. Listen to what she says during a spanking, and after. Let her give feedback on the implements you use, but make the final decisions on what you actually use 😉 Let her speak ‘out of character’ once in a while so you can have a frank discussion about where you really are. Julia and I love this part of our relationship, where we can step out these roles and talk about what we’re doing. After all, we chose to pursue this lifestyle.
What do you think? What other things should be on this list? How does a man successfully spank his wife?

This article and all associated images within the article have been republished with permission from Julia.
Please visit her website to view the original post and more.

Also, check out Brad the Cam Site guys list of the best couples cams! Lots of wife spanking lessons there in real-time.

Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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February 12, 2015
Fifty Shades of Valentine

Valentine’s Day is traditionally a celebration of cupids, confections, and crimson, but many lovers are moving beyond chocolates and red roses. This year, lovers are looking for a bit of kink along with the romance. E.L. James’s mega-hit, Fifty Shades of Grey, has spawned more than a movie this Valentine’s Day. The unreleased film has already made movie history as the fastest selling R-rated title in Fandango history, supplanting “Sex and the City 2.″ Patrons’ demands have caused theater owners across the globe to offer additional screenings on Friday, February 13^th, a very lucky Friday the 13^th for many.

Those looking for something early might consider The Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack, complete with sultry singles by Ellie Goulding, Beyoncé, Jessie Ware, Sia, Annie Lennox and even Frank Sinatra, which will hit stores on February 10^th.

Set the stage with a Fifty Shades of Grey vanilla scented candle in a glass container etched with the words “So Smoking Hot.” The music and the candle should prepare you for a glass of Fifty Shades Wine. Pick white, a blend of primarily Gewürztraminer and Sauvignon Blanc, or red, a blend of primarily Petite Sirah and Syrah aged in a combination of new and seasoned French oak barrels. Author E.L. James’s signature embosses each bottle.

After the music, wine, reading and lube, Vermont Teddy Bear has come up with a memorable gift. Described as “daring, passionate, exciting next-to-skin touch with silky, smoky Grey fur; smoldering Grey eyes; a handsome grey suit and silver tie. He even comes with a mask and handcuffs.”

Perhaps you’re not a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, because let’s face it, not everyone is. I have rounded up a group of books so intense and erotic, you will fall upon the first surface you find and have a nice go at it with the partner of your choice. Heck, with a couple of these steamy reads, you may want more than one partner.

My personal favorite erotic series is The Stark Trilogy by J. Kenner. Everyone could use a little Damien Stark in their lives.

Title: Release Me
Series: Stark Trilogy #1
Author: J. Kenner

Blurb:
For fans of Fifty Shades of Grey and Bared to You comes an erotic, emotionally charged romance between a powerful man who’s never heard “no” and a fiery woman who says “yes” on her own terms.

He was the one man I couldn’t avoid. And the one man I couldn’t resist.
Damien Stark could have his way with any woman. He was sexy, confident, and commanding: Anything he wanted, he got. And what he wanted was me.

Our attraction was unmistakable, almost beyond control, but as much as I ached to be his, I feared the pressures of his demands.
Submitting to Damien meant I had to bare the darkest truth about my past—and risk breaking us apart.

But Damien was haunted, too. And as our passion came to obsess us both, his secrets threatened to destroy him—and us—forever. Release Me is an erotic romance intended for mature audiences.

Title: Bared to You
Series: Crossfire #1
Author: Sylvia Day

Blurb:
“Full of emotional angst, scorching love scenes, and a compelling storyline.”—Dear Author

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
Gideon Cross came into my life like lightning in the darkness…

He was beautiful and brilliant, jagged and white-hot. I was drawn to him as I’d never been to anything or anyone in my life. I craved his touch like a drug, even knowing it would weaken me. I was flawed and damaged, and he opened those cracks in me so easily…

Gideon knew. He had demons of his own. And we would become the mirrors that reflected each other’s most private wounds…and desires.The bonds of his love transformed me, even as i prayed that the torment of our pasts didn’t tear us apart…

Title: Hardwired
Series: Hacker
Author: Meredith Wild

Blurb:
Determined to overcome a difficult past, Erica Hathaway learns early on to make it on her own. Days after her college graduation, she finds herself face to face with a panel of investors who will make or break her fledgling startup. The only thing she didn’t prepare for was going weak in the knees over an arrogant and gorgeous investor who seems determined to derail her presentation.

Billionaire and rumored hacker Blake Landon has already made his fortune in software, and he’s used to getting what he wants. Captivated by Erica’s drive and unassuming beauty, he’s wanted nothing more than to possess her since she stepped into his boardroom. Determined to win her over, he breaks down her defenses and fights for her trust, even if it means sacrificing a level of control he’s grown accustomed to.

But when Blake uncovers a dark secret from Erica’s past, he threatens not just her trust, but the life she’s fought so hard to create.

And now I’d like to introduce two authors who I was reading well before the post E. L. James Erotica Boom hit.

Maya Banks Sweet series stole my breath and my heart, usually at the same time. This series, specifically, revolves around a group of friends all looking for some sort of love. Some wish to dominate, some are submissive, there’s a bit of sharing here and there, and then there’s just some plain Jane, vanilla, sweet, home-grown love that still burns hot in the sack. Maya Banks has several different series, the Sweet series being the only one I’ve read, but I’ve heard amazing things about her KGI series.

Title: Sweet Surrender
Author: Maya Banks
Series: Sweet Series

Blurb:
Under Faith Malone’s deceptively soft exterior lies a woman who knows exactly what she wants: a strong man who’ll take without asking—because she’s willing to give him everything…

Dallas cop Gray Montgomery is on a mission: find the guy who killed his partner and bring him to justice. So far, he’s found a link between the killer and Faith—and if Gray has to get close to her to catch the killer, so be it.

Faith is sweet and feminine, everything Gray wants and desires in a woman, but he suspects she’s playing games. No way would she allow a man to call the shots in their relationship. Or would she?

Faith sees in Gray the strong, dominant man she needs, but he seems determined to keep her at a distance. So she takes matters into her own hands to prove to him it’s no game she’s playing. She’s willing to surrender to the right man. Gray would like to be that man. But catching his partner’s killer has to be his first priority—until Faith is threatened and Gray realizes he will do anything to protect her…

Opal Carew is a writer who takes risks. Her erotica is no holds barred and not for the weak of heart. I’ve read a few different books by her and always end up loving them, but the amount of times my jaw drops usually reaches uncountable proportions. Her women are strong, and even though they don’t always know what they want until they get it, they always end up in romances perfect for their needs. She is an author I would advise only reading if you’re open-minded and you enjoy a steamy read, because I promise there will be steam.

Title: Swing
Author: Opal Carew

Blurb:
It all started with an innocent request…Melissa’s friend Shane asked her to accompany him on a business trip to an exclusive resort. But The Sweet Surrender is no ordinary vacation spot–it’s for men and women who swing. As Melissa mingles with the other guests and discovers the resort’s fantasy rooms, she’s tempted to explore her naughty side and live out her most sinful fantasies—but she isn’t prepared for the storm of desire that awaits. She soon finds herself torn between two men, one of her oldest friends and a handsome stranger who belongs to another. Both men bring her the most exquisite pleasure, but which man will win her heart?

Her work has been described as “scorching,” “intoxicating” and “brilliant,” and this is Opal Carew’s hottest novel yet. Visit The Sweet Surrender and sample its decadent pleasures for yourself…if you can take the heat.

Can you take the heat? With excerpts from one or all of these books, you and your partner are guaranteed a good time. Also, let’s not forget those without Valentine’s Day dates. Grab that glass of wine, one of your favorite pleasure toys, a before mentioned book, and crawl under the covers for a sexy night for one. Who knows, you may very well have a better time than your friends who are out on dates. You won’t disappoint yourself.

Images courtesy of Francesca Miller
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February 10, 2015
Cuckold Honeymoon Plans – A letter to my husband

A letter to my soon to be cuckold husband regarding our forthcoming wedding.

Cocky,

To prepare for our honeymoon, you will be expected to make the arrangements. You will book us for a hotel suite, you know, where we occupy 2 rooms, and there is a door connecting the 2 rooms inside. You will need to book this kind of room so that I can continue cuckolding you when I like throughout our honeymoon. You will buy a box of condoms, the XL ones, and place it in my fuck room. I won’t have you stock the room with beverages, as I will just have you bring them as needed. It’s better if you do it while my lover is visiting, it makes things harder for you, and I like making things hard.

Our honeymoon will last for 3–6 nights, depending on how many times I can have how many lovers visit me, which is something I will work out for myself, however, you will receive many updates as news comes in. I will excitedly share with you when I add a lover for the occasion, not only to humiliate you Cocky, I mean really, you will have to be informed of this so you know approximately how many condoms to have handy, how many beverages, and what type. You wouldn’t want your guests to go without while they are here to please your wife while you wait and listen.

Yes, your duties are many and it is sometimes a lot sometimes to keep track of. Sure, you suffer a bit throughout, as you must witness your wife getting well fucked by others. Sure, you have to clean up the mess after the party and your tongue abused by me in more ways than one. It’s all in the name of love, as cheesy as it is to say that. You are rewarded with my love and attention. You should look forward to the honor of cleaning up after such a skilled man, who pleased your wife endlessly.

Tom will also be invited to my honeymoon fuck room. I would tell him to assume 2 rounds and more if we desire and are able. Assuming he could visit 2 times and fuck come into my cunt 2 times, that’s 4 condoms full of manly, superior sperm for you to deal with. I know that’s a lot, but you should feel lucky I’m so picky and can’t have 4 suitable lovers, one for each night. You do the math, that’s a lot of wedding gifts.

Your loving soon to be bride,

Vanessa

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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February 8, 2015
Jerk Off To Improve Sex

A lot of my fans are chronic masturbators…jerking off at least a couple of times a day to porn. Orgasms are really good for you, medically and mentally. It reduces your chances of getting prostate cancer, reduces stress, etc. So let’s talk about masturbating BETTER! Specifically, how to masturbate to have better sex (if you get the opportunity).

1. Make sure your dick will be ready to fuck a real pussy! If your dick only knows your hand and you jerk the same way every time, you may struggle to keep your boner or to ejaculate when it’s “business time”.

Experiment with lighter grips and hand positions or use your other hand. Don’t always do exactly the same thing.

Masturbate while wearing a condom! (I’m told this is called a “Posh Wank” in the UK). Get your dick used to fucking with a rubber (often free at clinics).

Get a Fleshlight or other masturbation devices that feels more like a vagina. You can shop on the internet discreetly for that stuff or your local sex shop.

Or make your own home made one! I googled “DIY masturbation device” and found this helpful article which I’m sure there’s more (Feel free to comment below if you have a DIY tip to share): http://www.literotica.com/s/homemade-pussy-device

That DIY (do-it-yourself) article reminded me of when I was a horny, resourceful teen. I made an ‘insertable’ by wrapping tissues around the neck of a wine bottle (to make it softer & more life-like) & securing a condom over it with an elastic band. Yup, I was THAT serious about safe sex. Ha ha:-)

2. Build a better orgasm AND learn orgasm control by ‘edging’ yourself. Bring yourself close to orgasm then ease off…let it build again and just before you ejaculate, ease off or stop…repeat this several times (or for hours!) before finally enjoying a powerful release. This will help you have more control if you do have sex with a woman (no one likes a minute man!)

3. Try different things. It’s okay to like what you like…but experiment with variations of what you like. This will help you keep a boner and ejaculate at the right time when in situations other than just that one specific way you’re used it. You can watch different porn, or hell, use your imagination once in a while (worst advice ever from a smut peddler, eh?)…Try sitting, standing, laying down, in the shower, maybe sneak one off at work or in the car (don’t get caught).

That should keep you busy for awhile. Remember, sex takes practice and your biggest sex organ is your brain. That means if you’re nervous, you might find your penis not behaving as you like. There’s a lot more to sex than just intercourse…like touching, kissing, massaging, teasing…You always have a mouth and if you learn to lick pussy like a champ, your lady won’t mind if it takes your dick awhile to catch up.

Best,
Mistress T

This article and all associated images have been republished with permission from Mistress T.
Please visit Mistress T’s website to view original post and more of her work.

Feature image courtesy of Mistress T
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February 3, 2015
Why my husband gets excited watching me have sex with other men

I can’t speak for all men or husbands because I honestly don’t know what goes through all men’s minds or if they think the same. I can only speak for my hubby, and for the men who send me messages when they see my pictures online.

From my hubby’s point-of-view, it’s the fact that he’s married to a woman who other men desire and want to fuck, but who despite having all these other men who she’s had sex with, is still married to her hubby. That actually sounds awful when I read it back, it makes me sound like the local whore … ‘all these other men’, but you know what I mean. It may seem strange to a lot of people reading this, who for one reason or another don’t understand this ‘lifestyle’, or who just think it’s deviant or wrong. But you can’t willingly go into this unless you have a strong marriage to begin with. You seriously can’t.

Because at the end of the day, despite who I’ve been sleeping with, and how big his cock is, or how good the sex is, I still go back home to hubby because the difference is, as I’ve said previously, for me, this lifestyle is purely a physical thing. It’s not about love, it’s just an act of sex. I truly love my hubby and I know he loves me too. I know that at the end of the day, that’s still going to be the case, and that it’s not going to change.

When i think about it now, i do wonder if maybe what we do is similar in some ways to when you see the extremely rich/powerful older man with the young and beautiful trophy wife on his arm? Maybe this is the ordinary, normal everyday working man’s definition of this? Or is could just be as simple of a husband getting visually turned on by seeing another man fucking his wife, and seeing her getting used that way?

Men are visually stimulated after all.

I could keep guessing and theorizing all day, but at the end of the day still be no nearer the truth. Would I like it if my hubby was sleeping around with other women? No, no i wouldn’t, not that, that’s something he’s ever shown interest in. So there’s another aspect to this lifestyle to take into consideration. What I do know is, that I do get a lot of messages and emails from men saying, ‘I wish my wife was like you’ or, ‘You’re such a sexy slut, I wish I was married to you’. So I’m at a loss, am I really to explain it?

Who knows, maybe the appeal for a man at seeing his wife have sex with another man, is something that’s been written into his genetic makeup. Maybe those scientists who did that genome mapping will one day discover a gene for it, i mean … there appears to be one for just about everything else, doesn’t there. Why not that as well?

The cuckold gene? lol

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February 2, 2015
How to find out if your husband is a Cuckold

There was one time when I doubted my hubby’s intention regarding the swinger world. He told me “I don’t want to be with anyone else but you … But I want you to be with lots of men and fuck like crazy”. I was hardwired to expect the opposite from men. They’re usually the ones who go and stick their sticks inside as much females as it’s humanly possible. Why was this man that I love asking to reverse roles? Did he have a hidden agenda? Did he want to play it as a future card whenever he felt like fucking a stranger at a party?

Plenty of ideas went through my mind at the beginning, but then they dissipated on time. I found out he was really into assuming the passive role in the relationship while wanting me to develop an uncanny lust for fuck buddies and keep him posted. The moment of truth for me occurred during our first rendezvous with a swinger couple about three years ago. Both of them were really attractive people. The four of us were in a hotel room, dancing to Gossip and touching each other, but when my husband felt the timing was perfect, he just stood away and found himself a nice chair to witness the three of us having sex. Even though he found the lady amazingly sexy, it wasn’t his intention to have his way with her. He just wanted to see me getting tons of pleasure, but mainly from the man. “Fuck my wife”, he whispered at him several times.

This was obviously a new world to me. I wasn’t ready to cope with such a sexual response, but then I knew his kink was a complement of my sex drive. It was like two parts of a puzzle meant to fit perfectly into each other. I began to notice things I didn’t pay that much attention before. Like when you see Fight Club for the second time and realize it was freaking obvious that Brad Pitt was … Well, you know if you’ve seen the film. There were hints all over my husband’s behavior that made it clear: he is a proud cuckold.

Below are some of these clues I will disclose for you to find out for yourself if that man who is so attentive and amazing towards you is indeed a potential cucky. Read and enjoy …

1. He’s really eager to know about your past lovers.

2. He’s got no problem at all with you hitting the streets in a slutty outfit and even encourages it by shopping for sexy stuff by himself.

3. He’s told you that sometimes when masturbating, he pictures you with another man.

4. He loves to set you up with different dance partners at parties or bars. He’s got no problem at all with naughty dancing.

5. He loves to know if someone’s been flirting on you at the street or the office.

6. He asks for it. Duh!

7. He’s confessed to imagining you as a porn actress while watching naughty videos.

8. He keeps telling you about guys who you might find appealing.

9. He gets an erection when you tell him you’d like to be with another man, imaginary or real (the penis doesn’t lie).

10. You find a lot of ‘cheating wife’ searches in his computer.

11. He talks a lot about how he feels not capable of pleasing you.

Of course, it’s not mandatory that showing any or some of these attributes actually means your husband wants to be cuckolded, but most men with hotwife fantasies have them. So it’s just a guideline for you to explore. Don’t go and spill the beans on him like it’s nothing. Try to probe him by telling him about a steamy video you saw of a cuckold couple or just bringing the topic to the table because you happened to read it in a magazine.

Now, find out for yourself and enjoy it.

Images courtesy of Miau Miau
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February 1, 2015
How Cuckolding strengthens my relationship

From an outsider’s perspective, we are the quintessential loving couple. We laugh at each other’s jokes—real laughing, not an obliged sympathetic chuckle. We travel together without fighting—even when exhausted and delayed. We throw amazing dinner parties, always have time to kiss and after two years, still look forward to seeing each other. By all accounts, we are pretty damn adorable. Yet, we have a secret. A secret that more often than not ends a relationship. A secret that may lead to years of struggle if a couple even decides to work through it.

I cheated on my boyfriend. I cheated and he knows it … but it’s okay.

Contrary to the norm, my acts of indiscretion have actually brought us closer together, and not in the sense that ‘we worked through it and are stronger now.’ Rather, my trysts were planned with the open knowledge of my boyfriend, even performed in his presence. “Cuckolding”, as it is termed, rather than destroying intimacy and trust, has fortified these very qualities within our relationship. The amount of trust and emotional closeness required to even have a conversation about cuckolding is staggeringly beyond what many couples experience in a relationship’s lifetime. Finding the words and courage to say that you want to have sex with someone else (or that you want your partner to) and not destroy the relationship is testimony to the bond shared by cuckolding couples.

This has been my experience, as I have a deep sense of security within my relationship. I have already committed what some consider to be the ultimate relationship sin, what shatters it beyond repair, more than once. When married or those in a committed relationship discover their partner has shared sexual relations with someone else, the effects can be devastating.

The terms and euphemisms associated with adultery appropriately describe the negative effects of non-monogamy, i.e. “cheating”, “sneaking around”, “unfaithful”. Notice that these terms amplify the aspect of the deceit that often accompanies adultery. It is noted that most who have been “the cheated on” confess that, more than the knowledge of the sexual acts committed, the lying was more hurtful and damaging to the relationship. This is further proven by the common issue among couples who stay together after adultery, as one partner admits to no longer being able to trust. This is astoundingly, the reason for further problems in the relationship.

In contrast, our sexual honesty and openness have brought us closer together. I know he loves me because he accepts me. I do not feel the need to conceal part of myself because I am ashamed of my fantasies. I feel free. He trusts me as I have been open about my desires and he knows that even when I have relations with another man, it only intensifies our love and connection. He is a part of the process, it is an act that we share, and that we both find arousing.

For example, we elevate the act of cuckolding by ritualizing. My boyfriend assists me in getting ready, such as shopping for new lingerie or getting my hair done. He draws my bath, pours my wine, selects my choices of wardrobe. The sensuality is palpable as he straightens my stocking lines and attaches them to my garters. Every step is deliberate, slow, completely lascivious—and shared. It is within the membrane of these before and after moments that intimacy is nurtured. Cuckolding is far more than sex. It encompasses freedom and openness that can ultimately be expressed by sex. When reflecting upon our experiences, I feel powerful and in control, both of my sexuality as a woman and my freedom of life. This freedom and power is the superlative aphrodisiac for both of us, more so than any physical aspect.

Understanding that arousal of power has led me to incorporate certain facets of cuckolding fantasy into my repertoire as a dominatrix. Some of my clients envy the open relationship my boyfriend and I enjoy, craving our experience yet terrified to broach the subject with their partners. Others have discussed their fantasies only to be rejected or scorned. Indeed, cuckolding is not for everyone. However, it is for us and we are thankful to have found each other.

Yes, we will continue throwing those parties, laughing and living, all the while a little a flutter inside knowing that we, as a couple, have a sexy and kinky little secret. Now that’s romantic.

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January 30, 2015