SimplySxy

Author: Ashley Thompson

  • A Brand New Kind of Runner’s High: Exercise-Induced Orgasms

    A Brand New Kind of Runner’s High: Exercise-Induced Orgasms

    Although you may be familiar with the phenomenon known as “Runner’s High” (i.e., strenuous exercise resulting in an extreme rush of endorphins), I bet that “Exercised-Induced Orgasms” (EIOs) is an unchartered territory. Well, if I am correct, today is your lucky day because you are about to receive a crash course in EIOs.

    EIOs are defined as “the experience of an orgasm that occurs during physical exercise” and, until recently, were thought to be old wives tales or figments of people’s imaginations. However, over the last few years, two prominent researchers at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University (Dr. Debbie Herbenick & Dr. Dennis Fortenberry) began to look into people’s experiences with sexual arousal and orgasm resulting from physical exercise.

    After some extensive data collection, here is what they found:

    (1) Although women are more likely than men to experience EIOs, men also report experiencing arousal and orgasms while engaging in physical exercise. However, to date, the only published data has focused exclusively on women.

    (2) Many activities can bring on experiences of EIOs including: climbing poles or ropes, weight lifting, running, stretching, yoga, aerobics, swimming, chin-ups, pull-ups, dance, etc. However, EIOs are most commonly a result of abdominal exercises (i.e., a coregasm).

    (3) It appears as though EIOs are fairly uncommon and fairly infrequent; however an exact estimate of the prevalence and frequency of EIOs in the population (both men and women) is still unknown. That being said, in a sample of 370 women who reported experiencing an EIO at some point in their lives, a sizeable minority indicated that they experience EIOs on a regular basis.

    Despite the advances in research assessing EIO, more work is needed. I should also mention that not all women indicated that EIOs were pleasant experiences. In fact, many women reported feeling embarrassed after experiencing an EIO.

    Take home message: Do not hit the gym today with the goal of climaxing because it most likely will not happen. In the off chance that you do experience an EIO, you may not even enjoy the experience anyway. Think of it this way, some women are able to achieve orgasm through oral sex, others achieve orgasm through self-stimulation, and some do not achieve orgasm at all. This is likely the case for EIOs as well, all women are different and all women experience pleasure in different ways.

    For more information check out Dr. Herbenick’s and Dr. Fortneberry’s study:
    Herbenick, D., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2011). Exercise-induced orgasm and pleasure among women. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 26, 373-388.

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  • A Kiss Isn’t Just a Kiss

    A Kiss Isn’t Just a Kiss

    “The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.” – Anonymous

    Although kissing is often one of the first intimate behaviors performed in a relationship (commonly referred to as “first base”) and may seem to be a rather simplistic behavior, research suggests that kissing is of great importance when sizing up potential romantic partners and serves many functions. In fact, kissing appears to act as an important gauge when selecting a mate and can either enhance or diminish feelings of attraction to others. A study conducted by Hughes and colleagues (2007), 59% of men and 66% of women reported that “they were no longer interested in someone after kissing them for the first time.”

    These results suggest that kissing plays a huge role in mate selection for both men and women, however this is particularly true for women. This gender difference in consistent with other research suggesting that women report finding kissing more important than men do  (Wlodarski & Dubar, 2013). Interestingly, this study also found that men and women who rate themselves as highly attractive and with more casual/short-term relationships, rated kissing as more important than those who rated themselves as less attractive and with less casual relationship experience.

    So, now that we know kissing serves as an important metric when sizing up a potential mate, what can we do to be better kissers? What variables are important to others when kissing (especially for the first time)? In a study examining kissing preferences among young adults (Hughes et al., 2007), a person’s breath and the taste of his or her mouth were the most important factors related to the quality of a kiss. The “wetness” of a kiss was also found to relate to the quality of a kiss, however differently for men and women. In particular, men reported liking “wetter” kisses to a greater extent than did women.

    Although kissing cannot predict with 100% certainty how attractive someone finds you, it does play a role when sizing up partners. So, next time you are preparing for a first date, make sure to avoid drinking/eating anything that could result in an “untasty” mouth.

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  • Genideals: Perceptions of Women’s Ideal Genitals and Reconstructive Surgery

    Genideals: Perceptions of Women’s Ideal Genitals and Reconstructive Surgery

    What does the term “Designer Vagina” mean to you?
    No, no, it’s not the new up-and-coming punk rock band, good try though!

    It is actually a newly coined term used to describe the “ever-so-popular surgically manipulated vagina.” That’s right, in recent years, female genital reconstructive surgery has become an increasingly popular trend. In fact, vaginal cosmetic surgery is one of the fastest-growing cosmetic procedures in the western world. As if that is not CRAZY enough, plastic surgeons attest that the vast majority of their patients are physiologically normal, with nearly all of them presenting with your average, everyday genitals. In other words, women with medical concerns relating to their genitals are often not the ones seeking genital reconstruction, it is women with healthy, well-functioning, “run of the mill vaginas.”

    So, why are so many physiologically healthy/normal women seeking vaginal cosmetic surgery? Well, it is likely because women are comparing their genitals to an “ideal vagina.” But where are these notions of “ideal vaginas” coming from? Anecdotal evidence suggests that the media may play a large role in women’s perceptions of their genitals. For example, with the recent, rapid, and widespread uptake of new technologies in the past decade (the internet in particular), sexually explicit material is more accessible than ever and young women are seeing other women’s genitals (particularly porn stars) more frequently and in more detail than previous generations. Consequently, women are likely “sizing themselves up” to women in the adult film industry, which is often an unattainable ideal.

    What exactly are these young women having done to their nether-regions? Well, for the most part, it seems as though it is the opposite of breast augmentation. In terms of women’s vaginas, less is more: smaller labias, less pubic hair, shrunken clitoral hoods, etc. In particular, there are two main surgeries performed currently, labiaplasty and vaginoplasty. Labiaplasties are designed to decrease the size of women’s labia through snipping and sculpting. Vaginoplasty, on the other hand, allows women to tighten and decrease the size of their vaginal opening.

    Women’s dissatisfaction with their genitals is problematic because these insecurities can lead to a variety of negative consequences. For example, research suggests that women who report being satisfied with their genitals are more likely to feel comfortable undressing in front of their partner, have sex with the lights on, and initiate new sexual activities as compared to those who are not satisfied with their genitals (Ackard, Kearney-Cooke, & Peterson, 2000).

    Although genital reconstruction may lead to greater genital satisfaction, this is likely not the appropriate plan of action to take. In fact, there are a variety of side effects accompanying vaginal surgeries (e.g., the loss of sensitivity or painful stimulation) that present too large a risk for an unnecessary surgery. As a society, we need to target these “vaginal ideals” in the media and change the way people view them. In addition, we need to change the discourse around discussing genital self-image and include genital self-image as a part of our sexual education.

    In sum, vaginal reconstruction may be avoided by targeting the larger issue at hand: genital portrayal in the media and openness surrounding genital self-image. Further, women suffering from genital dissatisfaction may actually be struggling with self-esteem concerns and should be treated accordingly (i.e., counseling/therapy). So, if you really feel as though vaginal reconstructive surgery is the right choice for you, I want you to think: do you REALLY think the answer to your problems can be solved with the simple slice of a scalpel?

    **This article does not pertain to those who have medical concerns relating to their genitals that necessitate vaginal surgery. This article refers to women interested in vaginal surgery due to esthetics, insecurities, and dissatisfaction with appearance.**

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  • The Lucky Number Three

    The Lucky Number Three

    Lucky Number Three: Young Adults’ Attitudes, Interests, and Experiences Relating to Threesomes

    The topic of group sex is not uncommon among discussions involving university students, yet fairly little is known about young people’s experiences with and interest in group sex. Moreover, with some recent evidence suggesting that today’s youth are more sexually permissive than past generations, particularly with regard to casual sex, it is more important than ever to understand all aspects of young people’s sex lives, including experiences with and interest in group sex.

    Consequently, a few students and I at the University of New Brunswick decided to develop a study designed to address the dearth of research related to people’s attitudes, interests, and experiences with group sex. As a starting point, we examined heterosexual university students’ attitudes, interest, and experiences relating to mixed-gender threesomes (MGTs; sexual activity involving three people where at least one member of each gender is present). In particular, we were interested in assessing young men’s and women’s self-reported attitudes toward those engaging in MGTs, interest in participating in MGTs (the influence of contextual features on their interest in MGT), and experiences with MGTs.

    Our results suggest that about 12% of university students have experienced a MGT at some point in their lives, with more men reporting experience with MGTs as compared to women. Interestingly, men and women did not differ in their self-reported experiences with MGTs involving two men (MMF), but they did differ in their experience with MGTs involving two women (FFM). It appears as though young men report MORE experience with FFMs as compared to MMFs, SURPRISE SURPRISE! Now, how can this be? Is it that a handful of women are running around having MGTs with tons of men? Or is it, perhaps, that men have a tendency to over-report their number of sexual partners whereas women tend to under-report (my guess is the latter)?

    Despite the relatively low number of young people indicating experience with MGTs, more than half of participants were interested, to some extent, in engaging in a MGT. Again, a larger percentage of men reported interest in MGTs as compared to women. Moreover, participants’ level of interest varied based on several contextual features. In particular, MGTs involving a romantic partner were rated as more desirable than those in which the participant would be the third person. Further, MGTs involving a friend were more desirable than those involving a casual acquaintance or a stranger.

    When examining attitudes toward those who engage in MGTs, our results indicate that young adults’ attitudes are fairly neutral. In other words, participants did not judge those engaging in MGTs particularly positively (e.g., pure, moral, healthy) or particularly negatively (e.g., dirty, immoral, desperate). Furthermore, there was a gender difference in attitudes toward those engaging in MGTs, with men reporting more permissive attitudes than did women.

    In sum, these data illustrate that young adults hold very neutral attitudes toward MGT participants, suggesting that young people do not consider MGTs to be an unconventional and/or stigmatized sexual behavior. Moreover, interest in MGTs, but not experience, appears to be widespread among young adults. Interestingly, interest in MGTs is influenced by contextual features (i.e., presence of romantic partner and relationship with third person), suggesting that the more comfortable we are with the potential sexual partners, the more interested we are in participating in a MGT. All in all, the results of this research are very positive. Now, I am not suggesting that everyone run out and start having threesomes, I am merely pointing out that young people do not appear to judge the character of others based on their sexual experiences/behaviors. Hopefully this trend continues in other areas of sexuality, resulting in the acceptance of people with a variety of sexual interests and sexual orientations.

    ** For more information, check out the following article on the accuracy of men’s and women’s self-reported sexual experience: http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2013/6/21/sex-lies-andbogus-pipelines.html **

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  • How Does Porn Influence Reality?

    How Does Porn Influence Reality?

    Sex and technology are two things that are paired together almost as often and peanut butter and jelly. In fact, the relationship between sex and technology dates back to the late 1800’s when the vibrator was invented, and perhaps earlier. However, in recent years, this pairing has become increasingly common all thanks to our dear friend, the World Wide Web. One aspect of online sexual activity is pornography and since the invention of the internet, pornography has become extremely accessible.

    Nearly everyone in developed countries now has access to the internet and as a result, pornography is now only a few clicks away. In fact, more than 25 billion X-rated websites exist today with free access to 24-7-365 sexually explicit material available on every platform from desktop computers to smart phones. As a result, majority of people are able to watch any type/genre of porn, in a matter of seconds, for free, in any setting desired.

    Based on the ease of watching online pornography, it should come as no surprise that people are watching more porn than ever. In fact, a Canadian study conducted in 2009 sought to compare the views of men in their 20s who (a) had never been exposed to pornography with (b) regular users. However, their project struggled to take off when they failed to find a single young man who had not viewed some type of pornography! Moreover, principal investigator Dr. Lajeunesse concluded that “Guys who do not watch pornography don’t exist!” Keep in mind, however, that men report watching more erotic films and consume more sexuality explicit material than women do, so we would not expect the same trends to exist for women.

    So, how does watching all of this porn influence our sex lives? And are the effects of pornography shaping our sex lives in positive or negative ways?

    Well, seeing as though most of you reading this electronic blog post have probably viewed porn at one point or another, you most likely are aware that it doesn’t exactly feature the kind of sex most people have in reality. Put differently, pornography can be EXTREMELY unrealistic. For example, actors and actresses in porn often portray an impossible standard where many of the women have large breasts and next to no body hair, whereas the men often have larger than normal penises. This may produce negative consequences where men and women may not be satisfied with their bodies as a result.

    Porn may also give us unrealistic ideas about the ways in which we should behave during sexual activity. It portrays impractical sexual positions, questionable expressions of pleasure, and behaviors that are undesirable to some. For example, actors and actresses in pornographic videos are often arranged in positions designed for good camera angles (meaning that the only body parts that touch are the genitals). This is not necessarily desirable in reality, in fact one of the great things about sex in direct skin to skin contact. Moreover, actors and actresses in porn often moan as loud as possible and engage in large amounts of dirty talk. They do this because it is entertaining not because they are incredibly aroused. Lastly, people portrayed in pornographic films often engage in external ejaculation, regularly cumming on a partner’s face and/or mouth. Although, this may be pleasurable to some, it is not to all. All of these behaviors portrayed in pornography may negatively influence one’s sex life, resulting in uncomfortable sexual positions, unrealistic verbal expectations, and unpleasurable experiences.

    Now, I realize that this has painted a pretty glum picture of porn’s influence on reality. However, there are many positive aspects associated with viewing pornography. In particular, it has been suggested that porn can be used as a means for suggesting new sexual activities to a partner and may result in people feeling more comfortable with their sexuality. In addition, pornography can be great tool for people when trying to fill in the gaps in their sexual knowledge. For example, it has been suggested that people learn about varying sexual techniques and sexual positions from watching porn.

    No matter how you look at it, porn is having a profound impact on our culture and our sexual expression, and like anything, you have to accept the good with the bad. However, remember that pornography does not have all of the answers and if you really want to please your partner, make sure to ask him/her what is desirable/pleasurable. Lastly, remember to be respectful, because everyone is different and sexual preferences vary widely from one person to the next.

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  • Are Men Really From Mars?

    Are Men Really From Mars?

    It has been ingrained in us since birth that men look for sex and find love and women look for love and find sex. For example, take every romantic comedy/romance novel ever written, women are often portrayed as the romantic saps whereas men are testosterone-filled and often sexually motivated. Research on attitudes toward sexuality and relationships supports this idea. For example, studies suggest that men report a stronger desire for casual sex, more permissive attitudes toward sexuality, and more sexually-oriented expectations for relationships as compared to women (Clark & Hatfield, 1989; Petersen & Hyde, 2010; Schmitt, Couden, & Baker, 2001).

    Despite these well-supported gender differences, most of the research has relied on self-reports, which measure explicit attitudes/preferences. These explicit measures are not very reliable because people can easily fake or enhance their responses to make themselves look better.One way to get around some of these concerns associated with self-reports is to assess implicit attitudes. Implicit attitudes are attitudes that exist just below awareness. They are the attitudes that people hold that they are not necessarily aware of. Thus, because these attitudes are subconscious, people are unable to fake or distort their responses.

    The most common way to capture these implicit attitudes is to use a computer test called the Implicit Association Test (IAT). In a recent study of mine conducted at the University of New Brunswick (UNB), myself and a colleague did just that. In particular, we were able to use the IAT to assess people implicit attitudes toward sex and romance (Thompson & O’Sullivan, 2012). By showing 182 UNB students, 68 men and 114 women, images of couples engaged in various sexual activities as well as images associated with romance, the IAT revealed that BOTH men and women displayed an implicit preference for romance as compared to sex. Meaning that men AND women preferred images portraying romance over those portraying sex.

    Although these results may come as quite a shock, it is not completely unheard of in academia. In fact, some studies have indicated that men may be just as romantic as women if not more. Specifically, the latest findings by psychologist Marissa Harrison (2011), from Pennsylvania State University in the US, determined that men fall in love quicker and take longer to fall out of love when compared to women. In fact, it was found that men were three times more likely to declare their love before women when involved in a heterosexual relationship.

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