My interest in kink started when my interest in sex started in general. I’ve never really been into “vanilla” sex, I’ve always been on the more extreme side of things; especially when it comes to sado-masochism.
What Is Impact Play?
Impact play is when one person (typically the Dom/me) hits another person (typically the Sub) repeatedly for sexual gratification. This can be with a hand, paddle, flogger, cane, crop, or other instrument.
In a typical scene (though I don’t think any scene is “typical”) the Dominant will bind the Submissive to something and hit them (spank, flog, cane, whatever) repeatedly and with increasing force for the sexual gratification of both partners. Some Submissives (meeee) can even achieve orgasm from impact play alone, even if the genitals aren’t stimulated at all! Impact play can be VERY powerful, and is a great way to get into “sub-space”.
Popularity Of Impact Play
I can’t vouch for how “popular” impact play is as a fetish, but I will say I know a lot of people who are very into it. I personally participate in impact sessions at least once every week or two. It’s a great form of stress relief (just like any sexual activity) and is honestly the best form of foreplay for me personally.
Preparation For Impact Play
To start you’ll want either your bare hands, or some type of tool as I mentioned above: a paddle, a flogger, a cane, a crop, or something similar. I’d also recommend something for bondage, like cuffs or rope, but that’s not absolutely necessary.
Typically the process of impact play begins with the Dominant “warming up” the submissive, by hitting them lightly with what they’re using for play. For example, my preferred method of impact play is flogging (giving or receiving). So, for instance, with a flogger the Dominant would lightly flick the flogger against the Submissive’s skin to draw the blood to the surface. You want to use an area on your submissive that has a lot of meat or fat (i.e. back, butt, thighs). You warm them up so that you can hit them harder later without seriously injuring them.
Some Submissives enjoy bruising or marking (*cough* me *cough, cough*) some do not. This is why communication is VITAL. For any type of BDSM experience, but especially those involving pain play. The Dominant is responsible for making sure the submissive is having a comfortable experience. You can go to town on your submissive for a bit, but it’s important to come in close, touch them, whisper to them, remind them that you’re there and that you care. Be sure to ask them if they like what you’re doing regularly, and especially after harder strikes.
It’s always important to have a safe word as well, so that if it becomes too much the submissive can say their safe word (which should be a word that would never be used during play! “No” and “stop” should not be safe words. For instance, mine is “mango”) and end the scene.
How Impact Play Is Used As Punishment
I suppose impact play could certainly be used as a punishment in the context of BDSM, but I personally use it as a pleasurable thing. I beg my Dominant to flog me.
That being said, it would be extremely simple to incorporate as punishment. Is your submissive behaving poorly? Bind them up to a Saint Andrew’s Cross (or anything of course), tell them why they’re receiving punishment, and begin. As always, a safe word is vital, but more often than not Submissives enjoy their punishments. Even if they don’t enjoy the feeling, they enjoy being trained right from wrong by their Dominant.
Precautions For Safe Impact Play
All you really need for safe impact play is to PAY ATTENTION. Constantly communicate with your Submissive. “Is that okay?”, “Do you like that?”,“Is that too hard?”. And Submissives: be TRUTHFUL with your Dominant! Don’t endure something you really really don’t enjoy just to please your Dominant. It’s important to voice when something is TRULY unpleasant. You may enjoy going out of your comfort zone, or intense pain, TO AN EXTENT, but always keep your own well being in mind.
Does your submissive want to stay mark free? Be sure not to hit them too hard. There are still ways to increase or decrease the intensity of your strike without hitting them hard enough to mark them.
Does your submissive want to be left with marks, or maybe even bruises? Give them that! But after an intense strike, always ask them how they felt about it. I cannot stress enough that communication is key in ANY BDSM scene.
Kaitlyn Isabelle – I’m genuinely just a normal, down to earth, total goofball who happens to be a sex worker! In my daily life, I enjoy video games, reading, and binge watching Bill Nye Saves the World. In my professional life, I mostly cam, and make custom videos, but I’m working on making my own videos soon! Sex work has given me an amazing creative outlet that I don’t know where I’d be without!
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