The biggest problem with a man’s happy stick – is that he doesn’t know near as much about it as he should. I blame Cosmo mostly, with their worthless banter about ‘average size’, ‘women’s preference’ and ‘alternative techniques to using it’. If you really want to know everything about a man’s dick, you need to ask a man who has lifted weights from it, crushed a scorpion using the tip, and has found humility in the reality that the above two stories are entirely made up, but I am a better man because I have learned that… well, I am more than just a dick.
The Average Dick Gets Short-Shafted
While sitting outside bars in nondescript vans, researchers have come to the conclusion that… small penises are normal. What they have found is that the average guy is an average of 6-inches – when erect. The word, ‘erect’ is very important considering that there is such a thing as ‘showers’ and ‘growers’. Guys can range anywhere from 2 to 5 inches while installing a sink disposer. However, once finished he will grow to be an average of six-inches if the lady of the house is offering an alternative payment plan.
Your Dick is Only Small if…
Okay, let’s empty out the room from the worry-warts to the guys who have real problems. Based on the commentary of Dr. Paul Turek of the Turek Clinic, any size is considered average, so long as it stretches out beyond 1.5-inches on a measuring stick (when not erect).
Shaving Your Bush and Balls is Not the Way to Compensate
Let’s say that your dick is currently resting over your keyboard at 1.75-inches, and you feel a little too far to the left of the ‘average’ chart. But I wouldn’t bother shaving your bush and balls, as 1.75-inches… is still going to be 1.75-inches no matter how you trim it. If you really want to trick a woman’s senses, height and shoulder to hip ratio is the best optical illusion. And no matter how you’re shaped right now a lean mid-section can do wonders for the appearance of a stubby dick. So, if you’ve added a few unwelcome pounds over the years, here’s the incentive to shed them.
Viagra vs. Supplements
If you are a normal, otherwise healthy man, Viagra as a form of taking care of the symptoms rather than treating the disease. Whether your ED problem is mental or physical, you can actually give your boner a direct jolt through proper nutrition, which means less fat and fried foods. Fat effects your testosterone levels and it causes your nerves to lose their sensitivity when too much cholesterol builds up. High sugar foods and salt are also not conducive to a healthy penis, and nor is too much alcohol. Most “erection building” vitamins are bullshit. A few of the proven supplements to strengthen and improve an erection is Omega-3, L-Argenine/Pycnogenol, Vitamin C and Horny Goat weed (that one should be easy to remember).
Your Erection as a Health Indicator
Guys like to talk smack about the size of their package, but when it comes to your health and the happiness of your woman, a hard dick is really the most important thing. As a man loses his conditioning, his erection is usually one of the first things to go. Your dick should be hard enough to stand on its own. You shouldn’t have to wrap your hand around it to keep it from folding during sex, unless it is over 10-inches long. Should you be able to hang a wet towel from it? Well, a partially damp towel for sure.
If your erections are not as hard as they used to be, that is a direct link to your cardiovascular health – a link to your testosterone levels. Researchers say that men who have sex more live longer, but it is more likely that the ones who are having all that sex are healthy enough to handle it and are already destined to live longer. The other guys are not having sex because they can’t get it up, have some serious cardiovascular problems and are not long for this world. Don’t be one of these guys. Take care of your body, and your dick will take care of you in return!
Max Green is a modern day Casanova that works as a writer by day and a hound by night. Having studied at the School of Hard Knocks, he’s determined to live the American dream. He explores depravity and a sexual lifestyle in his spare time. Follow him at www.Urbasm.com
Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
