Whirlwind romances, tiffs, break-ups. There are no shortage of well-intended advices when you let on that your relationship is on the rocks and things are rather shaky in lovey-dovey land. While we usually look to family members and friends who dish out great opinions to deal with the situation in hand, here’s a bunch of terrible advice that you definitely should give the boot:
Moving in together will solve your problem
If you and lady love were constantly squabbling about the most mundane of stuff such as what to do on date nights and vacation destinations, what makes you think that moving in and placing two fused bombs together will be the solution to those arguments. On contrary, we wouldn’t even dare linger in your apartment for more than a moment, for fear of being caught in the middle of those awkward silent killer stares.
Hang in there. It will get better once you have a baby
Do not get me wrong. While I am clearly not fond of swaddling a wailing baby in my arms and having to deal with infinite hours of diaper changing, I must agree that these “bundles of joy” do complete a happy family. A child needs to grow up in a conducive environment with loving and responsible caregivers who love each other as much as their lil spawn. No kid is gonna end up thriving well in a place with parents constantly yelling at each other.
It’s because he/she needs you and loves you too much
This should not be the reason why your partner is checking your phone and going through your Internet browsing history when you are asleep. This should not be the reason why you are no longer hanging out with your best friends, not allowed to indulge in your harmless checking-out-random-chicks moments in the pub, and why you now have to avoid all your friends of the opposite gender. Most importantly, this is not why he/she puts you through those physical abuses and mental torments.
Now that you are over (insert age), you have to lower your expectations
Age is the best testament to our life experiences and as we grow wiser and more financially independent with every year, we learn from our mistakes and (hopefully) figure out what works for us. If dating a millionaire who beer belches and boogie picks in public is clearly not your thing, then you simply have to find someone who will rock your world. Never shortchange yourself in a potentially unsatisfying relationship just because you are not longer in the prime age for the dating scene for there are tons of billionaires out there who will love you for who you are (and have the decency to dig out their boogies discretely).
It was a mistake. He/she won’t cheat on you again
This is a topic that is very close to my heart. Trust me. I may sound like a very bitter jilted lover but chances are he/she will cheat on you again because they have gotten away with it and you were the one who allowed them to do so. Even if they are truly repentant, the level of trust will need to be rebuilt from scratch, together with the phase of keeping tabs on your significant other’s whereabouts and secretly wondering if he/she is truly pulling an all-nighter at work. I have been through that and my best regards go out to both of you to making it work again.
If you love someone, let them go
Okay, this is probably very much debatable and not really that much of a terrible advice but I personally do not believe in the couch potato aka “watch and let go” way of managing a relationship. If you truly love someone, you would have made your expectations known at the very beginning and both of you would have already put in efforts to make the relationship a fulfilling one (in spite of all the many little arguments that both of you would have encountered along the way). In short, there would not even be the need for any salvage advice. On the other hand, if there has been a change of heart or he/she never loved you as much to begin with, it’s best to bid au revoir.
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