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Training Bras, Tweens, and Breasts … Oh My!

Lifestyle

Training Bras, Tweens, and Breasts … Oh My!

I’ve noticed; my baby is growing up!

Well, this is no surprise really.  I’ve known for a while.  Little things keep happening … she gets pretty crabby, teary, ecstatic around the same time of the month as I do, her skin seems to be changing, I have noticed little blemishes on her face.  You know, the usual.

But the other day, Marcia was sitting down on the couch wearing a lightweight, shirred top.  I looked over at her and noticed that she was starting to push through the top!  I swear I did a double take.  I felt like I wanted to squeal inside.  Later, I pulled her aside and told her what I noticed.  She had the hugest grin on her face.  So we sat down to discuss breast development and a little more about puberty.

We have talked about the potential ramifications of wearing a bra.  We talked a bit about the taunting and teasing about bras and breasts that could happen at school.  I told both girls that when I first got a training bra some boys used to snap the strap.  It irritated me but I never said anything to them about how much it upset me.

I also told them about the time during my freshman year in high school, a popular boy (class president, quarterback for the JV Football team, and dreamboat.  I’ll call him “B”) made a comment to me about my cheerleading sweater.  Back in those days, the letter on the sweater was stiff as a board, HUGE, and despite my seemingly early development, those changes slowed and I was pretty flat chested in high school.  At times, this stupid letter was concave!  Well, B came up to me and asked if I had a book in my sweater.  I was devastated. I didn’t have a response.  I held onto that embarrassment for 20 years!  I told my daughters about running into him at our 20 year class reunion.  I confronted him and said, “B?  Do you remember the time you asked if I had a book in my sweater?”  He said with a bit of sassiness, “No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I said something like that.” I said to him, “Well, I’m here to tell you … (I held each of my breasts in my hands) they’re real and they’re spectacular”.  The two guys standing there with him did a sort of a back-of-the-hand-to-their-mouths-“oh shiiii” response.  B was humbled.  I was vindicated.  At hearing this story, my daughters were rolling on the floor laughing.  “MOM!  Did you REALLY??”  Yes.  Yes I did.

Anyway, back to the kids.  We talked some more and I finally asked Marcia if she would be more comfortable with a bra and she got SO excited!  I told her we would go bra shopping after school.  She was literally so excited that she could not sleep that night.  It was like Christmas Eve!

So today she has 3 new training bras.  And she is over the moon!

I delight in having these conversations with my daughters.  I feel like they bring us closer together every day.  I want to share my experiences with my girls.  I’m sure they appreciate hearing how I felt, how I reacted, how I wished I would have reacted instead.  These things are situations they may or may not be able to use in their little lives but if it gives them the chance to think through how it was for someone else and gain a shred of wisdom from my experiences, then it’s 100% worth it.

Do you recall what it was like with your first bra?  How did you feel?


This article has been republished with permission from Lanae St.John.
Please visit Lanae St.John’s website  to view the original post and more of Lanae’s works.


Images courtesy of Shutterstock.
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Lanae St.John

Lanae St.John is a San Francisco Bay Area based Sexy Mamas Blogger, BoardCertified Sexologist, and Sex Educator. Her work with clients normalizes conversations about sexuality between parents and children, while helping adults to discover a more sexually positive outlook. By teaching parents to nurture the budding sexuality of their children in ways that foster self-respect and acceptance for the totality of their personhood, she helps them raise children who become empowered, beautiful, strong, sexually healthy adults. Lanae also coaches couples and individuals on their sexual questions and concerns, helping them to optimize their sexual experiences and achieve healthy adult sexuality via a sex-positive approach to sexual education. Lanae received her Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a certificate in Women’s Studies from the University of Wisconsin- Madison in 1991. She completed the Associate in Sex Education and Clinical Sexology before going on to receive her Masters in Human Sexuality in 2011 from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Currently, she is a Ph.D. candidate studying Human Sexuality. Ms St.John is a contributing sexpert on the sex education site What They Are Asking.com. She is also co-founder for the site NotSoSecret.com, a site that seeks to empower women to discover and enjoy their own sexuality. She is a Sex & Relationship Panelist for the popular site Dick-n-Jane.com and is also an expert on gasm.org, a website combining sex educators and medical professionals together to talk about the female orgasm. Her blog, “The MamaSutra®” on Good Vibrations’ website, was voted into the Top 25 SF Bay Area Mom Blogs in 2011 and she was listed #1 in the GetLusty.com 30 Must-”Like” Sex-Positive Facebook Pages. Lanae also co-hosted Season 1 of a show called Sexxx Talk Radio on the Progressive Radio Network – the podcast can be found on iTunes. As The MamaSutra®, Lanae has been featured as a sex-positive parenting expert in SSEX BBOX – a web series documentary featuring people and experts from four cities around the world. Lanae is also featured in the not-yet released feature length documentary “Revolutionary Sex” (working title) by NuReality Productions. In March 2013, Lanae was part of a contingent of Sexologists to travel to China. She lectured on Childhood Sexuality: Fostering Growth Into Sexually Healthy Adults to the Chinese Sexology Association and was asked to submit her paper to The Chinese Journal of Human Sexuality. Coming soon, Ms. St.John can also be found as one of the Expert Faculty of Sex Coach U and as one of Dr. Ava Cadell’s “Love Coach All Stars”. A Board Certified Sexologist (American College of Sexologists, A.C.S.), Lanae is also a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (S.S.S.S), The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (A.A.S.E.C.T.) and the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (I.S.S.W.S.H.) Lanae is the proud mother of two daughters with whom she actively embodies her message of empowerment, freedom of expression, and a sex- and body-positive mentality.

Get in touch with Lanae via email at MamaSutra@me.com

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