Connect with us

5 Undeniable Signs He’s Using You

Photo: Morguefile


5 Undeniable Signs He’s Using You

Some men are just out for a hookup buddy… here’s how to know if you’re being used.

Men and women often want different things from their relationships.  If you’re emotionally involved with a guy, it’s possible that he might not feel as deeply.  We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships; the fear or realization that he’s just using me for sex.

Here’s a bit of relationship advice and a few signs to look for if you’re skeptical that he may not care as much about your hopes, dreams and personality as he does your compatibility in the bedroom.  Some of the signs are easy to overlook, but don’t discount them!  Both his words and his actions are important to watch for as you decide if he’s in it to win it, or just in it for a good time.

1. He only comes late at night.

Now, I know sometimes men will come over after a night of bar hopping with his buddies, but if he is only making that call when he’s drinking and it is late, you should know he isn’t interested in anything but a sexual relationship.  A man who cares about you for you will want to spend time with you in the light of day, and without the lubrication of alcohol.

2. He always cancels plans with you.

You’re looking forward to hanging out together, but as soon as you are supposed to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel.  This isn’t just disappointing, it’s rude!  You are worth having someone show up on time and actually stick to their word!  Do not make excuses for him constantly cancelling; it’s his cowardly way of  showing you he’s not interested.

3. He never takes you out in public.

Just as important as his willingness to see you in the daytime, a man you’re dating should be excited about taking you out!  No excuses on this one: if you two never leave the house, you need to start asking yourself why that is.  It’s fun to get lost in the sheets together sometimes, but you should also both enjoy a walk in the park or a dinner at a restaurant.

4. He tells you everything you want to hear, but doesn’t show you the things he says.

Actions speak louder than words, so if he’s just filling you up with charming and charismatic words, without proving what he says is true, it’s time to move on.

5. He is standoffish.

He knows everything about you, but your knowledge of him is limited.  Relationships are for learning about each other and seeing if you two are compatible.  If he tells  you very little about himself, he’s either hiding something or he just doesn’t want you to know him.  Maybe he doesn’t think you’re compatible for the long-term, or just  doesn’t want to put in the effort because he knows he’s going to move on before you gets too comfortable.

It’s easy to ignore these signs, especially when you feel attached or excited about a potential new partner. But the fact is that if he’s displaying any of these traits, he is  just using you for sex and does not want a relationship with you. Even though it may hurt to admit this, you deserve more than someone who doesn’t care about you.

Christy Goldstein

Christy Goldstein is a self employed writer from Columbus, Ohio. She specializes in relationships and how to be successful in dating. If you’re looking for direction in your relationship, Christy will act as your best friend. She may be even better due to her honesty above everything else.

Christy specializes in helping people set goals in their relationship and sticking to them. She writes advice about all things sex related and will help you realize what patterns are causing friction in your life. One of her main contributing factors is giving it to you straight. If she sees you are using patterns that don’t work, she will tell you flat out. Her means of communicating to you will often be the best way to get a point across.

Christy works as a matchmaker and writer for an online dating site. She can guide you towards finding the right man that wants the right things from you. Once you’re in a relationship, she can further guide you to a sexually and emotionally fulfilling partnership.

Get in touch with Christy via email at


More in Lifestyle

To Top