Category: Sex Ed

  • 5 Things You Should Know Before Buying a Sex Toy

    5 Things You Should Know Before Buying a Sex Toy

    Have you made the decision to buy your first sex toy? That’s great! Now, where do you get started?

    Sex toys aren’t just limited to vibrators and dildos. There’s a whole plethora of options to explore and chances are that you’ll be coming across some of those for the very first time.

    With all of this diversity, it can be tough to make up your mind.

    To make the right decision, you have to go through a couple of considerations. Here are the five most important things you should definitely know before hitting that “buy” button.

    Sex Toy Materials Are Not Created Equal

    The material that a sex toy is made of is probably the most important factor to examine.

    There’s one critical reason why you should be extra careful – as of now, the sex toy market is NOT regulated. This means there are no set standards concerning the safety of materials. As a result, some low quality products could feature compounds and chemicals deemed dangerous.

    Looking for a “body safe” label is the first thing you’ll have to do. Even if the label is there, make sure that the material itself is actually body safe before you add a toy to your bedroom fun repertoire.

    Good sex toy materials are non-porous. They don’t harbor bacteria and they’re very easy to clean and sanitize. Some such materials include medical-grade silicone, glass and metal. Jelly and PVC, on the other hand, are highly porous and should be avoided.

    Other good materials are plastics and rubbers but these need to be phthalate-free. Phthalates are considered potential carcinogens, which is why you don’t want them coming anywhere close to your body.

    Two other possible materials you may come across are TPE and TPR. These are both types of plastic that are phthalate-free. There have been, however, discussions about the quality of these materials. While they are generally considered safe enough, TPE and TPR are porous. If you can afford it, do opt for something a bit more expensive and safer.

    Bigger Isn’t Always Better

    Whether you’re looking at g-spot stimulators or dildos that cum, do understand one very important thing – bigger isn’t always better in the world of sex toys.

    As a beginner, you could be drawn to girthy and unnaturally big toys.

    The problem with those is that they’re not made of human flesh. As a result, some toys will be stiffer and less flexible.

    People who don’t have experience with sex toys could find bigger items unpleasant or even painful. Even lube wouldn’t be enough to rectify the situation.

    The best approach is to start out small. Get yourself a smaller vibrator and a dildo with realistic dimensions. These will be some of the most versatile sex toys in your collection. As you become more accustomed to those, you can move on to exploring larger items.

    In the world of sex toys, girth tends to be more important than length. A long sex toy may be a good idea because you’ll find it easier to grip. A very thick toy, on the other hand, may be completely unusable.

    Know Your Pleasure Spot

    A sex toy doesn’t have to look realistic in order to give you the experience of a lifetime.

    Rather, you should focus on the right kind of stimulation.

    To do so, you’ll need to focus on a bit of self-exploration.

    Just like it plays a role in partnered sex, solo play can also direct you towards the right kind of sex toy for your needs.

    How do you usually orgasm? Do you need just intense clitoral stimulation? Or maybe you need both clitoral and internal vaginal (G-spot) stimulation? How about anal play?

    Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes. Some can stimulate two or even more spots at the same time. Some offer very concentrated and targeted pulsations/vibrations for a quick orgasm. Others feature multiple settings to give you an array of experiences.

    So, don’t hurry and get a vibrator just because all of your friends have one. A small bullet vibrator that focuses all of the pulsations on the clitoris could be much more satisfactory.

    Ease of Cleaning

    It’s also important to talk about an aspect of owning a sex toy that isn’t necessarily sexy.

    Cleaning your toys is obviously tedious but it’s imperative to keep yourself safe and healthy. You should never leave a toy as-is after use. Uncleaned sex toys will grow bacteria on the surface, even if they’re made from a non-porous material.

    Sex toy cleaning becomes even more important if you share such items with somebody else or if you use one and the same toy for both vaginal and anal stimulation.

    The more textured and curved a sex toy is, the more difficult it will be to clean thoroughly. In addition, some types of sex toys shouldn’t be submerged in water because their mechanism will get damaged.

    Always check the care instructions before buying a specific type of toy. Some can just be sprayed with a sex toy cleaning solution and wiped clean. Others will require a bit more effort to remain in pristine condition. If you’re not that meticulous about sanitization, you should opt for an item that’s easy to clean.

    The Frequency of Use Determines Some Features

    How often will you use your toy?

    Knowing the frequency of sexy times will enable the selection of some additional settings and functionalities.

    For a start, a rechargeable sex toy is a good idea if you don’t want to buy new batteries every week. There are still old-school sex toys with a battery compartment. The problem is that regular batteries make the item heavier and they also increase the risk of running out of steam in the middle of a sexy session.

    A corded toy is also not an option (although some such toys do still exist). The cord limits the use of the item, it could get in the way and it completely eliminates the possibility to have more fun.

    As you can see, practical considerations are just as important as determining the type of toy that would work well for you. Unfortunately, many people don’t take the time to think about these essentials. As a result, they end up buying a toy that will be used only a couple of times before becoming forgotten.

    Final Verdict: Determine What Matters the Most to You

    No two people have the exact same needs when it comes to convenience and sexual gratification.

    To choose the right sex toy, start out with a few key considerations. This way, you’ll narrow down the range of possibilities significantly. Once you do that, you can focus on additional features and even some non-essential extras that will help you differentiate between a couple of choices you like.

    A final thing to remember is that the price should not be the primary factor (although it’s a good idea to set some budget). Very often, cheap products end up costing you a lot more in the long-run than a well-made but more expensive toy.

    If you come across an offer that’s too good to be true, it probably is. Do your research and use online resources to do a bit of comparison. When you acquaint yourself with the market, you’ll find it much easier to spot quality.


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  • Why You Should Enjoy London With A Companion

    Why You Should Enjoy London With A Companion

    Well on a personal note, I absolutely love being a companion, what could be better then rocking up to a hotel in sexy lingerie, sipping champagne and having amazing sex with fascinating people?

    On a political note, I find it incredibly liberating for women to be able to make the sort of money often reserved for men only in our society. As a professional contemporary and ballet dancer, it is seriously hard to make money doing meaningful art in London. Often the top companies being unable to pay more than £30,000 a year for highly skilled dancers. These are the TOP companies…. you can only imagine what the smaller ones pay.

    Doing escorting means I have the safety net to allow myself to take on more interesting performance projects and that means the world to me. It has also funded me through my recent masters degree and will fund me for my PhD also.

    The Sex Work Industry In London

    It’s wonderful really. Everything is legal which means it’s totally safe for both the ladies and the clients. Equally, London is so big and so anonymous that you won’t bump into anyone you know while on a date with a lady.

    And the food……my god, the food in London is spectacular. So many amazing places to go no matter what sort of niche you’re into. It’s perfect for a great night out.

    What Makes Me An Ideal Companion

    I’m super light hearted, and an eternal optimist. I love to laugh and smile but am also a great listener and can go deep into any conversation, no holding back if you want to go philosophical. I’m intelligent and educated, making me great to meet your work collegues etc. I know how to be discreet while still looking fabulous on your arm.

    Equally, my body is toned and bendy from my dancing career and willing to please your every desire. Finally….I’m a base line perv and love getting naughty with fun people. I absolutely love this work.

    How To Spend Your Time In London With Me

    Oh wow I guess this is a Covid specific question…it depends what is open. I would say during Covid, an overnight or dinner date is best so we have time to chat and flirt and go a bit deeper and more meaningful in our interactions.

    On a normal day, I would say 24 hours is always super fun….here is a good list of activities and day plan –

    12.00 Meet at the hotel (Perhaps The Corinthia, The Shard, The Exhibitionist).

    13.00 Couples massages at a local spa, or perhaps a matinee show of one of London’s amazing theatres.

    14.30 Lunch and time for a good flirt, perhaps afternoon tea at The Ritz or The Ivy.

    16.00 Now that we know each other well, back to the bedroom for several hours of lust, lots of time to really explore each others bodies and get naughty.

    20.00 Dinner

    21.30 An after dinner cocktail (somewhere with music always a benefit).

    22.00 Back to the hotel for more earthly pleasures….perhaps a sensual bath after and before bed to finish the evening.

    Following morning…

    Lounge around in bed, room service for breakfast, more naughty fun until 12.00. Equally if you have any last minute shopping you need to do I would be happy to escort you.

    What You Should Know Before Our Meeting

    Firstly, be humble and gentleman like in your correspondence. A one line email that says; “Fuck you’re hot, where are you?”, or relentlessly calling and texting when we are unable to answer will stress us out.

    Email or text, introduce yourself properly. Tell us clearly when/where/for how long you would like to meet. If she cannot accommodate those times, you can discuss from there. You can enquire about services you desire (don’t be rude or demanding if the lady does not do something you want and respect her personal boundaries). You can also request certain outfits you like from her website or let her surprise you.

    If you’re nervous or it’s your first time, you can let her know and she can help you be more at ease and enjoy the process (equally if you’re not ready, don’t push yourself to do anything)

    Most importantly, you will need to either give a reference (from another lady you have seen). If it’s your first time and you do not have a reference, we ask for a photo I.D or a linked in page…after which that lady can be your reference for other ladies. This process is for our safety only. We will not research you or give your details to anyone else, our business is about discretion. This screening element of the process is non negotiable for all ladies and must be respected.

    Before you arrive, you’re welcome to grab a bottle of your favourite tipple to enjoy on the meeting and help you loosen up if you need it. Equally, any girl I have ever met has always appreciated a generous client who brings a little gift (flowers, chocolates, perfume, lingerie, shoes….etc.)

    Correct Behaviour Etiquette While Together

    We appreciate you to be on time, be clean, be respectful….I repeat….be clean gentlemen. Those 10 year old boxers with no breathing capacity will not impress us and I would hope you wouldn’t wear them on a ‘normal’ date.

    Other than that, just enjoy and have fun. Tell us about yourself (as much as you’re comfortable with), because we will love getting to know you….we are fundamentally people lovers. Tell us all your silly jokes, tell us all your desires, let us please you in every way we can. That’s what we are here for and we love it boys!


    Margot Alderton – I’m a young and joyful personality with a seriously sexy adventurous side and a curiosity for new experiences. I love meeting new people, going out to shows and partying or just staying in and having a bath and wine. As a professionally trained dancer in ballet and contemporary dance (my real job), I love art, music and all the other great aspects of living in London. If you need any advice on great things to do I know my way around this great city as well as I know my way around the bedroom.

    My petite and sensual figure will grab your attention and my bright blue eyes are sure to keep it. Perfect for anyone who likes a natural girl, I’m graceful and elegant. Having been trained professionally in dance, my body is as flexible as your imagination. However, that doesn’t mean I lack in intellect, Im a wide reader and hold a BA and MA, meaning I can keep up with the best in conversation. Im a great listener and can make you feel at ease, whether its getting to know each other at the beginning or exploring deeper secrets further on.

    My dynamic personality means I’m perfect for high profile events and long stays out of town. I love discovering new places and my range of interests and zest for life makes me a perfect travelling companion whose sure to hold your attention.

    Follow Margot on

    Website: www.margotalderton.com

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/margotalderton

    Other Tours: Incall in Marleybone


    Images from Margot Alderton

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  • How To Explore Medical Fetish Play

    How To Explore Medical Fetish Play

    We all know what BDSM means by the book (Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism).

    My personal view on Kink and BDSM: It is about erotic thrills such as bondage, spanking using different implements, explore and experiment with some type of rough or painful play to enhance sexual pleasure and intensify orgasms.

    What’s more important in BDSM is it is not only pain and pleasure, the dynamic of power play also plays an important role, it is not only the physical thing but also the mental and emotional aspect as well.

    What Is Medical Fetish?

    Medical Fetish comes in different varieties and different levels, from sexual attraction to doctors and nurses, medical uniforms to realistic physical play including surgical procedures, anesthesia and intimate physical examinations such as gynaecological examination and rectal examination.

    I was a manual therapist and worked for physiotherapists for many years, my ability to understand the structure and function of the human body gives me an advantage to explore medical fetishism and how to eroticize them.

    Reasons Subs Love Medical Play

    Most of them are curious about what medical play is. Some of them are seeking another type of pain, that means they are into pain but not from corporal punishment, they are not into beating but something intense but less impactful i.e. needles, cutting, electro torture.

    A Typical Medical Play Session

    Most sessions start with body examination and restraint, sometimes with a gag and blindfold. If the session involves catheterization, deep sounding  (to the bladder) and breath control, I need to be able to communicate with my client so there will be no gagging.

    My favorite tools and/or equipment are: urethral sounds, catheters, needles, E-Stim, anal stretcher, and speculums.

    What To Expect Before Trying Medical Feitsh Play For The First Time

    First make a list of what you want to experience and research/understand what is involved. Then research the Domme who can provide the service. There is a difference between medical play and medical “roleplay”, make sure the Domme can provide what you want. Ask questions, and be polite.

    You don’t have to go for everything if you are not sure.  Book an introductory session and try out whatever is on your list. If you don’t like it, just be honest and use your safe word, do not force yourself to accept it, this is not what medical play is all about.


    Madame Li Ying – I am well known as a professional dominatrix specialising in medical fetish. My play style varies according to whom I am playing with. I am energetic, strict, playful and wickedly sadistic. I am very hands on, very assertive in every day life and I will use My Feminine powers against you to move you to My liking. When I give command I expect it to be obeyed.

    I can be intimidating but being naturally intuitive I will also make you feel safe in your submission to Me. I will bring you to a place where you have secretly longed to be, make you completely surrendered, under My complete control.

    Follow Madame Li Ying on

    Web: https://www.madame-li-ying.com – Subscribe to my newsletter for free session teasers and photos.

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Madame_Li_Ying

    AdultWork: https://www.adultwork.com/MadameLiYing

    FetLife: https://fetlife.com/Madame_Li_Ying

    Instagram: www.instagram.com/orienta.domina


    Images courtesy of Madame Li Ying

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  • How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    I first started having kinky fantasies when I was a very young girl. At first, I was very guilty and thought I was weird because back then, none of my friends talk or share about such things. It was only much later and in recent times that I discovered that there were others who were kinky and there was even a community where people congregated.

    That made me feel a lot better about myself and excited to know that there were actually others into what I enjoyed. This meant that I was able to hang out in a space with like minded people and truly be myself and what I am, instead of always having to skirt around my kinks with vanilla friends.

    What I Love About Pegging

    Pegging is essentially anal sex reversed – instead of a male penis in a woman’s ass, the woman wears a strap-on and fucks the male’s ass. I’ve always been fascinated with the power exchange aspect of D/s. In the same way, pegging is a means for me to induce power exchange when traditional gender roles during sex are reversed.

    The act of penetrating a man is not only fun but mentally arousing for me – making me feel powerful, strong and pushes me into a very dominant headspace. Not to mention, all that hip thrusting doubles up as a real good cardio workout!

    Reasons Subs Enjoy Being Pegged

    Most subs who come to me for pegging want to experience submission by having their most vulnerable and private areas violated. Some enjoy being emasculated through anal sex and also request to incorporate this with some form of sissy play.

    Others are more experienced and have already embarked on their own anal exploration and just want their male G-spot to be stimulated. I must say though, it is exceptionally enjoyable when subs come to me knowing that I love pegging and they want to please me by offering their holes to me.

    My Domination Style

    Being safe, sane and consensual is what all my clients can expect from me. My style of domination is sensual yet firm – think of that sexy colleague that caught your eye at the office pantry, who turns out to be the no-nonsense manager on your team. As the person in charge, I take the effort to do my own research about the kink and find my own practice before I involve my subs.

    I believe that communication is key to any successful session –  I always engage potential subs before any session, find out if they have prior anal experience and structure an appropriate scene tailored for the sub to explore pegging based on their context. For example, if a sub were to tell me that they have not tried any anal play before, I would recommend basic anal training before jumping into a full on pegging session.

    What To Expect In My Pegging Sessions

    Well, just like any good sexual encounter, my typical pegging session starts with building up sexual tension between me and my sub. It could be anything from dirty talk to tease and denial – getting the sub aroused and relaxed is rather key to making penetration enjoyable and easier later in the session.

    I personally use the strap-on harness from SpareParts – it is super comfortable, adjustable and looks super sick. The harness can accommodate a variety of dildos, giving me the versatility to meet my client’s needs. Unless you’re a size queen, I always start with my smallest dildo and am very generous with lube! So, don’t worry, I’m not going to tear you a new asshole on our first date. 😉

    Pegging Tips For First Timers

    As with trying anything new, go in with an open mind. You might like it or you might hate it, but it is always important to try, especially with someone who knows what they are doing. Besides reading up, I would recommend all aspiring clients to also try and explore your own body before hand – stick a finger or a small plug up your ass first and see how that feels for you.

    Cleaning out before the session can also help make the entire process more enjoyable for all parties – less fear or shame from any potential mess or bad smells. End of the day, if you’ve been toying with the idea of getting pegged, feel free to drop me a message and I will be more than happy to take you down this delicious rabbit hole.


    Mistress Haze – A tall and athletic dominatrix based in Singapore that is passionate about creating fun and exciting scenes. She enjoys turning confident and assertive men into soft putty, bending them to her sensually deviant brand of kink. 

    Follow Mistress Haze on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/_mistresshaze

    Website: http://www.mistresshaze.com/


    Article images courtesy of Mistress Haze

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  • How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 2

    How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 2

    I enjoy being tied up by people I have an attraction to. This attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual in nature, but there has to be interest (from both sides) in being close and intimate with each other. So for me, I don’t really seek out to be tied by people who tie specific styles of Kinbaku; rather, I seek out specific people who I am interested in exploring our relationship together, whatever that relationship might be. Sometimes I am driven by lust, sometimes I like the way a person moves, sometimes it is somebody I would like to get to know better (like a close friend of a close friend), and sometimes it is to realize a deep friendship. 

    That all being said, I do think there is a correlation between the people I am attracted to and the kind of rope they happen to do. I would say that I am a fairly intense and extreme person; in my Kinbaku exploration I have discovered how much I love to suffer (physically and mentally) and how much I love to be objectified… and as a former competitive athlete in sports that require intensive endurance training, I also find that my physical body craves to be pushed to a limit that it has been trained to be hard to reach. With these desires along with my personality, I naturally find myself tying with people who work a lot with the body, movement, suffering, and objectification. And often these people all kind of hover in the same circles, like-minded attracting like-minded. To name a few riggers I have had the pleasure to get to know through ropes and I think reflect what I am attracted to in ropes: Nicolas Yoroï, Kristina Marlen, Alex Nawa_Ronin, Felix Ruckert, Tamandua, Butterfly Bondage, and Pauline Massimo. These people and their way of tying speaks to me in ways that words cannot quite describe and I feel very lucky to have been able to meet them on a deep level both in and out of the ropes. Certainly, they have played a huge role in my development as a person who is tied. I also need to mention a rigger who I have not tied with but who has been an inspiration for me since the beginning of my rope journey, and that is Akira Naka. I have always been drawn to the beautiful, romantic suffering that is portrayed by him in my eyes.

    There are also a few rope bottoms that I am inspired by, and I would like to mention Natasha Nawataneko in particular. We have known each other since I first started rope bondage and in so many ways we have accompanied each other on our journeys in rope bondage. She is one of the wisest and most genuine people I know, and these qualities poor from her soul when she speaks, breaks, and is being tied. I am totally inspired by her and her constant ability to stay honest and present with what is going on insider of herself while still remaining a considerate and generous human being. Being around such inspiring rope bottoms as Natasha certainly affect how I am tied and the experiences I invite into a rope bondage scene.

    So, yes bondage is not about styles or collecting experiences. It is about people. And I like the style of the people I am interested in tying with, on either side of the rope. And often that style as more to do with the way they move and how they are as a person, and how we attract each other, rather than anything to do with the ropes themselves.

    Photo and rope by Pauline Massimo

    What You Should Know Before Trying Out Rope Bondage

    I would say that they should spend time thinking about the why. Why do you want to do rope bondage? You might want to do it because you saw a pretty photo on the internet and it inspired you. It might be because you have been having fantasies about being tied up for a long time and you would like to finally try it out, or you might  have absolutely no idea! But there is something about it that makes you curious. There is no right or wrong answer. But it is good to constantly evaluate this question (and the answer might keep changing, or be totally different depending on who you are tying with and what you want to do).

    I think it is important to constantly evaluate this question because it will help you to better find the rope bondage experience you are looking for with a person who best matches your intention. If you are not interested in doing rope for sexual reasons, then it is best to recognize that and seek a partner whose intention matches yours… because how awful would it be to start doing rope with somebody whose intention was to be sexual when that is not what you want! No matter how good of a person you both might be, it likely would end up in an unpleasant situation to say the least, for both parties involved. When we can be honest with ourselves and our own desires we can do a better job of taking ownership for our own experiences and making sure they are what we want to have. This can apply to everything from finding rope partners, teachers, and spaces that feel good for you and help lift you up and make you feel comfortable enough to dare to be dangerous.

    I would also strongly recommend people who are interested in learning to tie or be tied to seek out guidance in person. Online material can be a great sub-element for your learning and development, but it does not provide you with the important nuances that come with learning a practice that is kinetic. Seeing how the rope can affect another, having somebody there to guide you and explain how it could work for you and your body, and provide a safety net… all in person… is invaluable. Humans understand the emotional and reactions of other humans best in person. And this is exactly what rope is about. We need living examples, and meeting others who share such an edgy interest in person help us to build a network of people we can relay on and gain experience from… and furthermore can serve as a safety net we can lean on when we need others who understand to talk to about our experiences and make sure we are all safely being dangerous together.

    Lastly, I would also like to emphasize that there is skill and development in being tied. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the rigger who magically creates an experience for the rope bottom to enjoy. It takes two to tango, as we say in English. We create an experience together. A dynamic. A scene. And both parties need to be present and aware of their own bodies, reactions, and feelings. There are not just things that a rigger should learn; there is also so much out there to learn for somebody to would like to be tied. Go to bottoming workshops, talk to other bottoms about their experiences, and find perspectives and techniques that work for you. Invest in yourself, and in the people who you would like to be tied by. If you come into a session expecting to be served an experience, then perhaps rope bondage is actually not for you, because if you aren’t willing to put energy, presence, and responsibility into a session then you are not doing your part in contributing to a mutually safe and rewarding experience for you or your partner.


    Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.

    Follow Saara on

    Website: www.saararei.com

    Instagram: www.instagram.com/saara.rei.shibari

    Only Fans: www.onlyfans.com/saara_rei


    Photo credits as above

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  • How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 1

    How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 1

    I would say almost every aspect of my life could be considered a practice in alternative lifestyles. I live in a cooperative: a house where everything is done cooperatively among all of its residence, from expenses to cooking to social gathering, everything is shared. I live a non-monogamous lifestyle, where the relationship agreements I make with others do not limit sexuality to be exclusively shared with one individual.

    I love BDSM, and especially rope bondage, as a lifestyle; most of my close friends and relationships in general have been formed through BDSM and I spend the majority of my free time reading, speaking, teaching, learning, and going to events around BDSM and specifically rope bondage.

    I also identify as genderqueer and have been “out of the closet” since I was in middle school; I even helped to organize the ‘Gay-Straight Alliance” when I was in middle school where we fronted the “Day of Silence” protest among other events. As well, I am also a huge sci-fi geek who dreams of cosplaying their favorite characters, and I am mathematician by training! Without a doubt, I love all facets of kink and alternative lifestyles. I have never been a person who has taken kindly to being told how I should be and what I should do. I don’t necessarily believe that everything mainstream is bad!

    But I do believe that everybody should be able to explore freely for themselves who they are and what they like, and to be able to do that without fear or exclusion from society. I think judgements about how one should be do not just come from mainstream society… how many times have I been told I am “more queer” when my hair is short? Or that a real feminist cannot be submissive? Or that my rope is not “Japanese enough”? Why should we listen and be shaped by such voices? Voices that oppress me? I think I make it my life mission to say “NO” to such voices.

    For me, it does not matter where such voices comes from, they are still boxes formed by judgements that tell me I must be a certain way or I cannot be. We should spend our time lifting each other up, especially in alternative cultures; we are fighting for our freedom to be ourselves – making war has casualties. And when we are few, those casualties can mean extinction. There is room for us all to be kinky and weird. Let’s not let the illusions of money, fame, and capitalism make us forget that.

    Photo and rope by Nicolas Yoroï

    How My Interest In Kinbaku Started

    It’s a cute story, I think, about how I discovered Kinbaku. In the summer of 2014, a close friend of mine had returned from her first Nowhere Festival in Spain (a festival inspired by the Burning Man Festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert). As soon as I saw her to receive all her stories about her experiences, she began to tell me about a love affair she had with an Italian guy there, who swept her away by tying her up in his tent. And how she was so taken by this experience that she decided to go to Italy to visit him and to take some rope bondage lessons with him.

    She then proceeded to ask me if I would take a beginner’s course with her in Berlin, where we both lived, as soon as she was back from Italy. And as you might expect from somebody who grew up in San Francisco followed by Berlin, my answer was a very unbothered “sure”. Since I was young I was always aware of my perversions. I often fantasized about being watched while I was in the bathroom, or being used by somebody sexually in public locations. I always knew I had a strong desire for submission, to put it generally, but I never really thought about the means to my submission much, such as bondage or pain, for instance. Perhaps they were always there, and sometimes would appear during sex in the bedroom, but never with much awareness.

    Living in San Francisco, a city where alternative lifestyles were the norm, kink was always around me; kink.com made up an entire block in the center of the city and it was normal to see people walking around naked in the streets. I remember having to sit down with myself in my early 20s, having to contemplate if polyamory was really for me or if I was merely complying with social norms! So as you could imagine, my perspective on reality was quite non-normative to begin with.

    And so kink has been around me casually since the start of my sexual exploration without much effort, and with that as well a lack of interest in really pursuing it as a lifestyle; like never managing to go to the museums in your hometown, kink and bondage just was never something that I really bothered to actively pursue… until the beginner’s course in rope bondage in Berlin!

    My friend and I attended a two day beginner’s course hosted by a person named Caritia and her partner at the time, Steven. I had an expectation that I would like to be tied, which was confirmed, but was surprised to find how much I also enjoyed tying! The playfulness, the intimacy, and the creativity my close friend and I were able to share during these two days was inspiring. I loved both sides, but of course my sexual desires really called for me to explore being tied the most! After this workshop I proceeded to go to as many jams and workshops as possible – and the rest is history!

    Photo by Shantel Liao, Rope by Butterfly Bondage

    Learning Deeper About Rope Bondage

    Luckily, living in Berlin, there was a lot going on at the time, especially at a venue formally known as Schwelle7, run by a now dear friend and teacher, Felix Rucket. It was there that I was able to go deep into rope bondage; it also happened to be the place where twice a year some of the most experienced people in rope bondage from all over the Europe would gather to exchange knowledge and, most importantly for me, play together.

    At Schwelle7, I was able to form close relationships with people that also involved rope bondage. And of course these relationships did not form over night; they took time and energy. But after years of meeting the same people in what was a small community at that time, and living, moving, breathing together, you become familiar with each other. And relationship dynamics form between everybody. As in any community. And the beauty of this development is incredibly fulfilling, and is what kept me coming back.

    If you want more of something in your life, then you need to invest your time and attention. Going to rope bondage and kink workshops, jams, and events gave me knowledge, experience, and community. And not once did I ever think of achieving something, but rather simply investing more in what I want in my life and enjoying every step of the process. 

    Photo by Zor Neurobashing, Rope by Nawa-Ronin:DiscoverKinbaku

    What I Experience While Being Tied Up

    This question is both very simple and very complicated. It is simple because I always try my best to always do the same thing when I am being tied: be present in the experience I am having and allow all reactions permission to be expressed exactly as they would like to be expressed. And it is complicated because this is hard to do! And there is absolutely no recipe for doing this, not even for myself! We are all so different from moment to moment; my mood, emotions, and physical fitness are constantly in flux and there is not so much I can actually control, as I see it.

    With that, I believe that we all have to constantly work to towards finding our way back to ourselves – what we are feeling, thinking, and reacting. And rope can be extremely confronting in that our physical body is being disturbed and that this can bring out a whole array of emotions that can be hard to predict. Practicing BDSM in general has certainly helped me to bring more awareness to what I am feeling, especially when playing with emotions that I tend to avoid or ignore in the everyday life (like humiliation, shame, or fear).

    Sitting with these emotions in a container that is a session, feeling and processing them, and coming out on the other side to see what the world has not ended and the person who has witnessed me in these feelings still cares for me has had a profoundly positive affect on my life.

    As well, in terms of my physical body, my background as a ballroom dancer and competitive swimmer has given me a lot of insight that has been easy for me to transfer into my experience in rope bondage. Developing insight into how my body moves in space and feels when pushed has allowed me to cultivate an awareness of what is happening to my body that tells me when it is ok to push and when it is not. 

    Part 2 to follow…


    Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.

    Follow Saara on

    Website: www.saararei.com

    Instagram: www.instagram.com/saara.rei.shibari

    Only Fans: www.onlyfans.com/saara_rei

    Twitter: www.twitter.com/saara_rei


    Photo credits as above

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  • The Secret Life Of A Hotwife (Chapter 15) – Obey The Rules

    The Secret Life Of A Hotwife (Chapter 15) – Obey The Rules

    Ever wondered what really happens on a hot girls’ night out? Meet Juliet Adelaide and her friends in The Secret Life of a Hotwife as they drive into the sassy world in this no-holds barred account of a hotwife’s lifestyle, and uncover all you’ve ever wanted to know, from the sensual and provocative to the risque and unspeakable.

    Based on the steamy real-life experience of Juliet Adelaide, author of The Mrs Sexy Chronicles, this exclusive first-hand account of her exploration of sexual freedom and insight into the life of a hotwife will leave you begging for more.

    Chapter 15 Teaser – Obey The Rules

    After all, safety, communication and honesty are the most important rules to any alternative lifestyle relationship. Apart from that, other rules can be made up along the way, depending on one’s preference. I gave the ladies a naughty wink and told them that sometimes Scott will even give me rules for the night; such as I can give the guy a blow job but not fuck him or I can fuck my date but he must cum on my face and take a picture. He even will give me naughty challenges that I must obey. Some of these include rubbing my lover’s cock over his pants in the bar, finding a semi private area at a public place to suck my date’s cock, or masturbate under my own panties while on a date. These challenges keep Scott involved and excited. They are also usually fun nights for me and all I need to do is play by the rules.

    Julie laughed and said that these rules definitely sound fun to her and that she would love to play such games too. She confessed that she too likes a little public play with the guys she sees from time to time and that it would be even hotter if she was ordered to do something specific by another lover. She then asked out of curiosity what happens if I’m unable to complete an assigned sexual task. Would I be punished for not being able to give a guy a blow job because too many people were around? I chuckled and answered that I’d have to face some fun punishments if I am unable to complete the assigned tasks and that in such cases, the consequences for breaking or bending the concrete rules can be quite unexpected.

    Purchase and read the rest of this amazing book by clicking here: The Secret Life Of A Hotwife 


    Juliet Adelaide has a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities and Culture from Arizona State University. She started dating her husband at the age of 17 and they were monogamous for 25 years. They are a devoted couple who only recently opened their marriage to new sexual experiences allowing Juliet to become a hotwife.

    “mrs Sexy” is the witty, erotic and true story of her experiences with this new polyamorous lifestyle. Juliet, (aka Mrs Sexy), takes you through the most personal moments of her romantic and sexual adventures.

    Follow Juliet on

    Website: https://mrssexybook.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/mrssexybook

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Mrs-Sexy-469306166570252/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrssexybook2

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_p2kOC111O_3CEtat-7lCg


    Images courtesy of Juliet Adelaide

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  • My Experience With A Pro Dom

    My Experience With A Pro Dom

    My feelings on kink is to each his own. As Dan Savage observed, when it comes to sexual preferences, there’s no such thing as “normal” as the spectrum is so broad. 

    My kinks are girls’ legs in skirt and heels, also seeing them tied up and gagged and dressed as such. Albeit I am straight and not into cross-dressing per se, I have dressed up in skirt and heels out of curiosity in teens. 

    I went out in public for the first time to a club called Shampoo in Philadelphia on alternative night. People were like-minded so it was more comfortable.  A female friend made me up nice in the face.  Corset and a thick sweater covered my broad shoulders. 

    I wore a short skirt just above the knee with five inch heels first, a miniskirt later, and eventually my purple skirt and sandals. It was nerve wracking yet exciting, but too uncomfortable to do regularly. I wear them for several hours once in a blue moon, so I was willing to impose on myself to look good. 

    How My Interest In Kink Started

    Venturing out in a skirt and heels that were each literally as short and high as possible. I went to this club several times in that same outfit and it was a monumental task on it’s own. 

     Bondage was a whole new adventure. 

    Fetishes & Kinks I’m Into

    Albeit I have ventured out dressed up several times, I had never been tied up before. I’ve always wanted to experience it. There is a connection between my skirt/heel fetish and bondage. The main reason I did it was to make my legs look the best I could. 6.3 inch heels (very expensive but sturdy material with a high arch, and ankle straps also conveys bondage) shapes lower legs up dramatically.

    SM spandex skirt with a shortened hemline but still fits will help the legs appear more shapely. Wearing them greatly inhibits movement and is viewed by some as a form of bondage. The discomfort of wearing turned me on at the same time. But imposing on one’s self willingly for the sole purpose of looking sexually attractive for others conveys submission. I like seeing girls dressed as such (sometimes in frigid temperatures) for the same reason.

    My Experience With Zoe

    She gave me directions to her home – a nice single home in the suburbs. Zoe was nice, a casually dressed middle-aged woman, which I liked as I am not into S&M. I changed in her bathroom. I was very self conscious at first – wearing a skirt that short and barelegged feels so vulnerable and exposed. But she genuinely liked my legs and told me so upon seeing me.

    I brought a five minute video of model Jewell Marceau (girl pole tied in backyard pic) so she could replicate it. She did almost exactly except for the type of gag she used. I didn’t like ballgags at first (too S&M) but hers was pink with thin leather strap so it didn’t look that way. The fairly large size gagged me thoroughly – it held firmly, muffled my voice and made speaking impossible.

    I always found the sound a girl makes while gagged, (“mmph mmph”  is the onomatopoeia) arousing. I instructed her to ignore me if she saw me struggle or hear me make any sound. I wanted her to have complete control by making sure I was held firmly in place and that there could be no communication between us whatsoever.

    Physically it felt pretty much as I expected, even felt kinda good as strange as it sounds. The rope felt snug. The complete surrender of control to her was quite a sensation. Being gagged feels more helpless than I thought. Even when she spoke directly to me face to face, I couldn’t respond in any way. 

    Sensory deprivation was by design from being left alone. No TV, music, just dead silence and blank walls to look at. I liked fantasizing that I had been kidnapped, standing still but occasionally struggling. It did become very boring at times but it was a good experience overall. Standing in heels, unable to sit or take them off was the most uncomfortable part but not as bad as I thought. 

    She did come down to check on me once within the hour, making sure the rope was secure.  It was expensive but worth it.


    Article by Fred Keeler


    Article images courtesy of Fred, featured image from Shutterstock

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  • How To Enjoy A MMF Threesome

    How To Enjoy A MMF Threesome

    I love sex! I’m one of those people that has always had the sex drive of a horny teenage boy… I haven’t figured out if it’s a blessing or a curse yet. I mean there could be worse things.

    Remembering My First Experience

    That’s a hard one, I lost my virginity at a young age and from there started exploring everything I could. I just wanted to try everything. One time that sticks in my mind was when I was at a house party for this mutual friend’s birthday. I took a boy I liked into the bathroom to hookup, it was going great, then his friend comes and knocks on the door saying he has to pee so we let him in. After he pees, instead of letting that ruin the moment, I just started making out with him too. I don’t know how we managed to have a threesome in this tiny bathroom but we did!

    Why I Love MMF Threesomes

    I love dick. Two is always better than one, it also feels like you’re the complete center of attention which is really empowering. I also really love making people orgasm and cum everywhere. It’s always a great feeling to please someone and be pleased at the same time.

    What My Role Entails

    There’s the obvious; Blowjobs, ball sucking, fucking in different positions. But it depends on the men. I’ve been in ones where the men are straight and bisexual.

    MMF threesomes are a lot of work for the girl, I’m not going to lie. It’s playing with two men at once but a lot of the times you’re in a position where the movements from one guy helps with what you’re doing to the other one. If the men are also into each other, then that can be so much and open up more positions and things you can all do to have fun with each other.

    Favorite Positions & Acts

    I just did my first D.V. (double vag) and that was amazing! I definitely recommend at least trying it once. I love anal so DP is right up my alley, spit roasting, making everything really sloppy and messy.

    Almost any normal position can work, you just add a dick in your mouth. When doing D.V., D.P., or even D.A (double anal) you’re a little more limited. Riding one and having the other behind you is a good go to. There’s more bodies in a small space so get creative, and don’t be afraid to experiment.

    Tips For Ladies Experiencing MMF Threesomes For The First Time

    Don’t be so serious, have fun! Make some jokes, just be you and relax. Like any other sex, make sure you communicate what feels good, and what doesn’t, don’t be afraid to move around and try a bunch of different things.

    Just because there are two dicks doesn’t mean you have to do anal. If you know you’re not comfortable with something, don’t do or feel obligated.

    Lube, lube, lube! There is no such thing as too much lube. Pick people you trust and feel safe around. That will help your nerves. And don’t put so much pressure on the situation, go with the flow and see what happens. You’ll never know if you like something if you don’t try.


    Hey there! I’m Taylor. I’ve been in the adult industry in one way or another for about four years. I started as a cam girl and now I do full videos, the weirder the better, but I’ve also been a stripper and call girl.

    Follow Taylor on

    Website: www.kittentaylornicole.com

    Twitter: @xxxtaylornicole

    Instagram: @taylornicolekitty

    Snapchat: xxxtaylornicole

    Only Fans: Onlyfans.com/xxxtaylornicole

    ManyVids: Xxxtaylornicole.manyvids.com

    I’m always booking VIP Sessions and Shoots in California and Vegas.

    I have new scenes and photo sets being released twice a week on my website. My first D.V. scene is going up this month if you want to see me take two cocks!

    MMF Work: Succubus’s always do it better with AJ Fresh Trans Live Threesome with the lust shack Double BJ Spit Roast


    Images courtesy of Taylor Nicole

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  • The Secret Life Of A Hotwife (Chapter 14) – Safety

    The Secret Life Of A Hotwife (Chapter 14) – Safety

    Ever wondered what really happens on a hot girls’ night out? Meet Juliet Adelaide and her friends in The Secret Life of a Hotwife as they drive into the sassy world in this no-holds barred account of a hotwife’s lifestyle, and uncover all you’ve ever wanted to know, from the sensual and provocative to the risque and unspeakable.

    Based on the steamy real-life experience of Juliet Adelaide, author of The Mrs Sexy Chronicles, this exclusive first-hand account of her exploration of sexual freedom and insight into the life of a hotwife will leave you begging for more.

    Chapter 14 Teaser – Safety

    Julie posed a question about how to handle men who say they hate condoms or won’t use them. Kristin said just don’t fuck them. That’s one way of course but I had dealt with this a few times myself. I found a compromise that usually made men happy. I would inform lovers that they have to use a condom for intercourse but if they preferred to cum elsewhere on me, they could. A few of my lovers Mark, Robbie and Tanner preferred this. Have fun with foreplay, fuck me, and then remove the condom when they are nearing orgasm. I would stroke them or they would stroke themselves to cum on my face, my ass, my boobs, whatever their personal preference. Kristin said that she doesn’t like that because it seems degrading to her. I told them that I really enjoy it. It makes me feel sexy and I get a different view of the male orgasm. Julie agreed with me. She liked it too and told us that it felt empowering in a way despite the fact that the idea seemed degrading. It’s all dependent on talking to your sexual partner. If you can’t talk openly with them about all factors in your sex life as a couple, it probably won’t last long as a relationship.

    One of the other factors was to protect against pregnancy with condom use as well. I had my tubes tied some months back, but most women, hotwives or not, need to protect themselves. Julie told us that she’s on the pill and used condoms with the men she’s been with. Unwanted pregnancies were her primary reason for using condoms. The men she saw tended to be boyfriends but none of them were father material in her mind and that was her greatest fear. You can’t always trust men when they say they’re clean and that they always pull out in time to make sure you don’t get pregnant. Michelle laughed. Her daughter was conceived on a night that her husband pulled out. They used to just do that as birth control some years ago. She told us how she was shocked to find out she was pregnant but her doctor informed her that pre-cum can contain sperm and even a bit at the entrance to the vagina can in fact make its way up and fertilize a woman’s eggs. Her husband has since gotten a vasectomy but she definitely agreed that she didn’t know how risky pulling out was as a birth control method.

    Purchase and read the rest of this amazing book by clicking here: The Secret Life Of A Hotwife 


    Juliet Adelaide has a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities and Culture from Arizona State University. She started dating her husband at the age of 17 and they were monogamous for 25 years. They are a devoted couple who only recently opened their marriage to new sexual experiences allowing Juliet to become a hotwife.

    “mrs Sexy” is the witty, erotic and true story of her experiences with this new polyamorous lifestyle. Juliet, (aka Mrs Sexy), takes you through the most personal moments of her romantic and sexual adventures.

    Follow Juliet on

    Website: https://mrssexybook.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/mrssexybook

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Mrs-Sexy-469306166570252/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrssexybook2

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_p2kOC111O_3CEtat-7lCg


    Images courtesy of Juliet Adelaide

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!