I’m excited to present here my first infographic, created with the help of colleague Christy Stevens. I hope this infographic about orgasm, female sexuality, and faking it inspires you to learn more about orgasms! Click here for lots of great orgasm resources to learn from.
This article has been republished with permission from our contributing author, Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus. Please visit Dr. Jenn’s website to view original post and more of Dr. Jenn’s works.
It’s just a penis, right? Probably not worse for you than smoking…
So, most guys love it, right? Let’s be honest, most girlfriends and wives find it more of a ‘job’ and find it less than appealing to do it. As a result, the experience might be uncomfortable or even painful for the recipient. Doing it well however might make the whole experience more reciprocal and enjoyable for the both of you. This short article hopefully discusses the key points on a good blowjob (guy on guy/girl on guy).
Cut or uncut
This basic point makes a world of a difference and affects technique and process. For those not in the know, a cut penis is a circumcised penis with the foreskin removed. An uncut penis retains the foreskin. The foreskin protects the glans (head of the penis) from the outside, making it more sensitive. A cut penis, having no foreskin, is more exposed to the constant sensation of clothes and other stimuli. The approach between the two therefore is different and will be dealt with separately below.
The process (uncut)
If you’ve been fooling around for a bit, your man is probably already ready to go. But if not, gently use your tongue to tease the tip of the penis. Using your mouth, enclose the entire flaccid penis and suck gently. Be careful with your teeth when doing this. Try and curl your lips inward so your teeth don’t graze the goods! By now your man should be up and ready or on the way. Use your hand to gently draw the foreskin back to expose the glans. Do not pull back too hard too fast and too quickly as this will cause the foreskin to draw back on the frenulum (bottom of the glans at the tip of the penis) which may cause tearing of the skin and general discomfort. Curl your tongue around the glans and lick like you’re licking a popsicle stick. Don’t be afraid of using a bit of saliva. More lubrication allows more movement and more pleasure as a result.
The shaft of the penis is also important. Lick up and down, curling your tongue along the way. Suck gently along the way, especially focusing on the glans. Keep the shaft wet so you can slide your hand up and down the shaft. Again, you are not shaking a martini: do not stroke/slide your hand quickly and too fast. Particularly in an uncut gentleman, this may cause some tearing, pain or discomfort. Your man will give you a good idea of what is a good speed and pressure. Many women move up and down the penis with their mouth, simulating entry into the vagina. The verdict is still out on this method. Some guys find this pleasurable, others, not so much. I tend to think, if a man can do the same with your vagina, why get a blowjob? I would recommend paying more attention to the glans and shaft as outlined above.
Your man does not just have a penis. His other jewels are also a whole new world of pleasure. Play with them with your fingers while you are sucking him off. Then take a ball in your mouth and again suck gently. Lick the balls while you stroke him. That should give him a world of pleasure to think about.
The process (cut)
Cut penises are in a world of their own. The big difference is because there is no foreskin, the glans is exposed constantly to outside stimuli like the fabric of clothes/ underpants/ water when bathing etc. It is therefore less sensitive than on a guy with a foreskin. This does not mean that the glans should be ignored completely; there is feeling there, just not as intense as an uncut gentleman.
In this case, I would recommend less attention on the glans but instead focus on the corona (no, not the beer) where the glans meets the shaft, the slight lip on the glans. Pay some attention in licking that sweet spot as it is usually less de-sensitised than the rest of the glans. Some guys have a row of little bumps on the corona. That is a good place to be stimulated with your tongue.
Otherwise the same attention to the shaft and balls apply to the cut gentleman. Lots of saliva and lubricant to stroke his penis while sucking would be ideal.
The other regions
The penis and balls are not the only erogenous zones that you can target when you are down there. Between his legs (where his thighs meet the crotch) is a good spot to kiss and gently lick. They are areas which do not receive much stimuli normally and therefore are particularly sensitive to a wet mouth.
If you are adventurous, you can move down to his perineum, the region between his anus and testicles. Also a region that does not receive much stimuli, this can be extremely pleasurable for your man if you lick and suck this area. I’ll go into this in a later article but good hygiene is a must.
Deepthroating
This is for the more advanced class. You’ve probably heard that guys love this. Porn movies show this all the time and the guy usually groans like heaven on earth. It’s not usually as dramatic as that though it feels good. If your man really wants you to do it, the secret is practice, practice, practice. Practice on swallowing something about the size of your man’s penis (a carrot or your vibrator) to get your gag reflex used to something down that far your throat. Make it clear to your man however, that pushing your head down on his penis does not encourage you to deep throat and is frankly just rude.
Orgasm
Ah, the big finish. Unfortunately, many men have different ways in which they can make themselves cum. This might be a question of how fast they want to stroke their penis, the amount of pressure they put on their glans, amount of lubricant or level of arousal. It is difficult to replicate this with your mouth. Therefore, making your man cum after doing all that work down there is not always possible. It is rewarding when it does happen and it could happen from time to time for a various range of reasons but don’t be disappointed if it does not happen. Sex, including oral sex, is not about climax or cum. It’s about a coming together of two people who want to express their affection for each other by giving each other mutual pleasure. Orgasm is only a small part of that.
Happy sxing,
Steph
Can you savour sexual excitement, and climax joyfully? When you ejaculate, do you feel thrilled and blissful? Or do you feel shame and humiliation? Do thoughts like “Oh no!” “I can’t please my partner!” “I have no control!” go running through your mind? The problem of premature ejaculation is extremely common and is suffered by most men at some point in their lives. It can lead to low self-esteem and relationship problems.
Traditional treatments for premature ejaculation include desensitizing creams, distracting thoughts, pills that muffle sexual feeling, and techniques that block ejaculation. These treatments are not only ineffective – they actually cause harm! Please do not use them. I see many men who have suffered for years with premature ejaculation. After using these techniques as a fix, they come to see me because they are numb inside, turned off sex, suffering from erectile dysfunction and experiencing inhibited ejaculation. There is a simple, effective way to end all this suffering and heartache. And the best news is – the solution is learning to enjoy more pleasure! By training your body to enjoy more pleasure, you acquire Orgasmic Mastery. This learning takes only a few hours of conscious commitment. Once the basic principles are absorbed, new knowledge can unfold through the joyful practice of a lifetime.
We all unconsciously place limits on how intense sexual energy can be, limiting the potential of our sexual experiences. I believe that without Orgasmic Mastery training, all of men’s ejaculations will be premature, in that they limit access to more profound pleasure. When men approach the maximum sexual charge their bodies can comfortably deal with, they generally release it through ejaculation. Orgasmic Mastery techniques allow you to welcome the intensity and allow it to build so that you can experience more and more pleasure.
The first thing we need to do is learn to savour prolonged arousal in our self-pleasuring practices. We get used to masturbating in habitual, efficient ways. By employing more creative touch techniques, and giving mindful attention to body sensation, you can learn to feel your body from the inside, and to enjoy each stage of arousal. You can even learn to orgasm without ejaculating!
Key to curing unintentional ejaculation is learning to build up sexual energy in our bodies in a relaxed state. This enables much more energy and ecstatic pleasure to flow all though our whole bodies.
The second path to gaining Orgasmic Mastery is teaching your body to hold a high erotic charge. Use breath and visualization to shift the focus from your genitals and circulate arousal through your whole body. You will soon be enjoying an erection in every cell!
The next challenge is taking Orgasmic Mastery into partner play. Partner sex is exciting and unpredictable. There is enormous pressure on men to “get it up” and maintain an erection. Men not only suffer shame and humiliation when they ejaculate unintentionally, they also feel embarrassment and confusion when they don’t get hard or experience inhibited ejaculation. Teaching your body to generate and circulate elevated levels of erotic energy makes it easier to get and maintain a reliable erection. And we also need to learn techniques for erotic engagement that take the pressure off erection and ejaculation. Learn to savour the pleasures of a soft cock, and explore post-ejaculatory possibilities. There are literally thousands of ways to be sexual, and only one of them depends on having a hard penis. Learning many ways to please a partner while you enjoy your own body, you can learn to savour and share a much wider range of erotic response.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock
A brief look through the strange and wonderful history of sex toys from the first Dildo 30,000 years to the boom of Online Shopping.
Explore more infographics like this one on the web’s largest information design community –Visually.
How many times have you heard a girlfriend tell you she is not happy with how her boyfriend or husband is in bed? Maybe you have a man in your life that doesn’t live up to your expectations when it comes to your sex life. Why is this? Are men in general lousy lovers or don’t they take the time to find out what you like and how to please you?
I think it’s the latter, they just don’t know and are too afraid to ask, worrying that you might laugh at them for not knowing. There are those that think they are super lovers but are they?
What do you do when you snuggle on the sofa at night watching a good movie and your man sticks his tongue so far in your ear that it feels like he is licking your brain? If you tell him straight that you don’t like it and make him stop, you risk hurting his ego. What do you do?
First of all I believe that we women must know our own body inside and out. We have to be comfortable with our erogenous areas and know what we like and what we don’t like. If we know, then we can guide our man to do what we will enjoy and not what he thinks we like. Remember, men take a lot of advice from friends and even pornographic movies, and those are not the best teachers.
Let’s go back to the previous example with the tongue in your ear. When this happens you can simply begin to kiss him and when you come to his earlobe you nibble it and kiss it lightly while whispering ‘like this honey.’
You have shown him what you like and how to do it, without putting his sexual knowledge or lack of it on display. If you would have pulled back saying ‘ew, stop that.’ You might have hurt his feelings.
How do you get to know your body? This might be a sensitive topic for some women depending on from where you are. There is no easy way around it, you have to touch yourself, and find your special spots. Once you know them, it becomes easy to guide your man to them.
If you have just met someone you can do this together, lot’s of men love to watch their girlfriend or wife touch themselves. Make a romantic evening out of it, light some candles, dim the lights, turn on some soft music, and give him a show. Afterwards you can make him touch you to see if he remembers what you like.
By knowing yourself you are directly controlling the quality of your sex life, you know what you like and what you don’t like. Now you can in a fun and erotic way pass on this knowledge to the man who shares your bed.
Fruits are known to be good for your health. High loaded in vitamins and antioxidants, we have heard many reasons to consume them on a daily basis. Do you also know that some fruits are able to increase your sex drive and make your horny? We bring you the lowdown on some simple fruits with amazing powers that can be easily bought off the shelves in the supermarket just round the corner of your home.
1. Dates
Doesn’t everyone love a hot date followed by amazing sex?
Dates contain amino acids which help to combat any lack of sex drive or lower energy levels which are great for a mood boost. These succulent fruits will increase your stamina and improve sexual desire due to the improved production of hormones. Moreover, dates are sweet, easy to consume on the go and very addictive.
2. Avocados
Avocados are great for our sex drive. They contain high folic acid levels that assist in metabolising proteins which give us an energy boost.
Avocados contain lots of potassium, which is good for blood flow and are known to benefit a women’s libido. In addition, they have generous levels of vitamin B6 which help to fight stress and provide the energy for you to keep going and also with the production of testosterone.
An interesting fact? Avocados grow on trees which are known as the testicle tree because of the it’s shape, and they tend to grow in pairs. Sounds like anything familiar down below?
3. Mangoes
Mangoes come with full of vitamin E which is essential for increasing sex hormones. Not only do mangoes calm the emotions, they also provide moistening fluids for your body keeping you well hydrated. The natural sugars in mangoes provide an energy boost ensuring you have a long lasting time.
4. Bananas
The one fruit shaped like the men’s anatomy that is sure to get you going. Bananas contain potassium which is used in producing sex hormones as well as regulating energy levels.
Bromelain is another great substance found in bananas for a good boost to those sexual feelings. Bromelain is a type of enzyme that fights impotency in men so guys, please start stocking up. Bananas also stimulates the serotonin production, a feel good hormone which helps improve sleep and elevate moods.
5. Pomegranates
Pomegranates are probably one of the most well known fruits for increasing your sex drive. The main reason why pomegranates are so effective is that it helps the body to produce nitric oxide. Nitric oxide helps to increase blood flow by opening up blood vessels which is can only be great news for the libido.
Pomegranate juice is more potent but the fruit is also enjoyable to eat. Do bear in mind that it contains antioxidants such as tannins and anthocyanins which prevent the aging process in our bodies. Furthermore, these antioxidants help to significantly reduce the risk of medical conditions like heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis and bronchitis.
6. Coconuts
The coconut is one fruit that can is useful in so many sexy ways. Not only is coconut oil great for a massage, it is anti-viral, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and a safe lubricant as well. Its sweet and refreshing scent will enhance your mood and provide stress relief. Bear in mind though that coconut oil can damage latex condoms! The juice of a young coconut helps in keeping the body hydrated and promoting lustful energy as a result of the natural sugars and anti-aging hormone called kinetin.
7. Raspberries
A little known fact about raspberries is that they are used to treat erectile dysfunction, just like the kiwi fruit. Full of vitamin C and a passion red, raspberries encourage the production of sex hormones such as estrogen, androgen and progesterone.
8. Figs
Arguably the most surprising item on this list, figs have quite the sexual appeal. Their interior is pink and fleshy; producing a musky and sexual scent, as is their flavour. All these lead to a heightening of our senses which improve our moods and let our libido’s rise from their sleep. Like the pomegranate, figs help in the production of nitric oxide.
Figs are also extremely effective at increasing libido in both males and females due to the high levels of amino acids found inside. Amino acids play an important role in normal sexual function which helps increase the levels of nitric oxide in the body.
Physically, the fig closely resembles the female anatomy and can have a warm, sticky interior from absorbing that hot sun all day. Guys, please don’t have any wild thoughts though!
A definitive guide for the names you have always called your naughty bits, but never known why. From Medieval literature to Grey’s Anatomy, this guide will let you know where your favourite anatomical slang comes from.
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Explore more infographics like this one on the web’s largest information design community – Visually.
Earlier this week, we started this post off with the first 20 mistakes men make while having sex now we’re wrapping up with the next 20.
Ladies, we’re pretty sure you’ve definitely come across some of these and guys, you’d want to pay attention.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it’s more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you’re playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don’t know, don’t ask.
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
Don’t act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
Men persist in doing this until she’s eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It’s about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she’s performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what’s necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
Don’t thrust. She’ll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don’t grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn’t feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don’t think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES
When a man says, “Can I take a photo of you?” she’ll hear the words “__to show my buddies.” At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
There is no less erotic noise. It’s as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she’s a Romanian gymnast, don’t get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don’t.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
Don’t shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It’s not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she’ll let you know.
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.
Sex is conversational topic that everyone is more than interested to have their two cents worth. More often that not, there is always an element of exaggeration that causes us to ponder if what was said was fact or fiction. We scoured the net and shortlisted crazy sex facts that will blow your mind. Read on and enjoy!
Fact 1 – Sperm is considered an anti-aging treatment as it contains proteins that have the same anti-wrinkle effect as your moisturizer, which tighten skin and give an instant face-lift. Ditch your SK-II now ladies!
Fact 2 – Being very well hydrated leads to better orgasms.
Fact 3 – Smoking has the ability to shorten a men’s penis by as much as 1cm. Now that is another reason to start quitting.
Fact 4 – A single human male produces enough sperm in two weeks to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.
Fact 5 – For five minutes per day, try tensing and relaxing your PC muscles (the ones that hold in pee). It might give you better orgasms.
Fact 6 – The record for masturbating continuously is 9 hours 57 minutes by a Japanese dude called Masanobu Sato who achieved this during the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco.
Fact 7 – Couples who don’t have a TV in their bedroom have 50 percent more sex.
Fact 8 – Over in Thailand, on the King’s birthday, males are offered free vasectomies. More than 1,000 are often performed in his honour.
Fact 9 – Men have an average of 11 erections per day. That isn’t a lot considering men have sex on their minds all the time.
Fact 10 – There are roughly 200 million acts of sexual intercourse each day. Are you one of the lucky 200 million?
Fact 11 – Every second, 7 Viagra tablets are sold around the world.
Fact 12 – You improve your immune system by 30% when you have sex once a week.
Fact 13 – Between 10 million and 1 billion bacteria are exchanged when two people kiss.
Fact 14 – Consuming ginger stimulates the feelings of excitement associated with sex. It increases your heart rate, gets your blood pumping and makes you excited for the night ahead.
Fact 15 – Men who are deprived of sleep are more likely to believe that women want to have sex with them.
Fact 16 – The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.
Fact 17 – There is an average of 7 calories in each teaspoon of semen.
Fact 18 – A female ferret will die if she doesn’t have sex for a year.
Fact 19 – 25% of penises are slightly bent when erect.
Fact 20 – When aroused, a man’s testicles can increase in size by 50%.
Fact 21 – Sexsomnia: Having sex while in your sleep.
Fact 22 – What is the common shared sexual practice among humans, fishes and porpoises? Fellatio!
Fact 23 – Kangaroos have 3 vaginas. Yes, 3.
Fact 24 – Women who masturbate regularly are more likely to experience orgasm during intercourse.
Fact 25 – Over the course of his lifetime, a male will ejaculate approximately 1.5 liters of semen. That is nothing compared to the blue whale which can ejaculate 750 liters in one go!
Fact 26 – Mechaphiles: People who like having sex with their cars or other machines.
Fact 27 – Women’s orgasms last almost four times as long as men’s.
Fact 28 – The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph.
Fact 29 – A research found that couples who do more housework had more sex.
Fact 30 – Women’s breasts increases in size by up to 25% when she is sexually aroused.
Most people are familiar with Murphy’s Law that is commonly mentioned as Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. We at Simply Sxy came across a list of Murphy’s Law on Sex. Enjoy reading them for a good laugh if you have not seen them before!