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Why do men worry about the size of their penis?

Sex Ed

Why do men worry about the size of their penis?

The penis is front and center. No surprise… guys worry about the size of their penises, it can be seen by all who view it when his pants are down. A man’s persona, ego, manhood, confidence, machismo can be located between his legs. Does it have to be this way? No it does not, but for most men it simply is!

In a world where men have easy access to pornography, their first real introduction to sex education is the guy on the screen with a really large penis that stays erect for hours at a time. These men perform with ease, almost acrobatic, maintain a perfect erection in any position and with many partners at a time. No wonder men are concerned when they are not able to perform in “normal conditions”, this can cause any man to develop performance anxiety. A man is certainly not comfortable asking another man to compare size or discuss the fact that they may not be able to perform in bed from time to time. Consulting a woman they are seeing may even be a more terrifying experience, losing his erection mid intercourse, most women will take it personally and feel as though the man does not find them attractive. Over time, if a man does begin to have anxiety over the size of his penis or performance it can start a chain of events that leads to sexual dysfunction.

One place to start getting information on what is normal is with the basics, and that is information on the male penis.

Length of the human penis

The most accurate measurement of the human penis comes from several measurements at different times since there is naturally minor variability in size due to arousal level, time of day, room temperature, frequency of sexual activity, and reliability of measurement. Measurements vary, with studies that rely on self-measurement reporting a significantly higher average than those with staff measuring. However, the mean of an erect human penis is approximately 12.9–15.0 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length.

Erect circumference

Similar results exist regarding studies of the circumference of the adult fully erect penis, with the measurement taken mid-shaft. As with length, studies that relied on self-measurement consistently reported a significantly higher average than those with staff measuring. In a study of penis size where measurements were taken in a laboratory setting, the average penis circumference when erect was 4.8 inches (12.3 cm).

What does this all mean?

Size is really a matter of how a man feels about himself, and the partners he chooses to be with. Size really does not matter if a man is not able to get or maintain an erection, because he is anxious about the size of his penis. Sex is, about having fun without the pressure to perform, and making a connection with the person you are being intimate with. For help with sexual issues there are many professionals and classes that a man can take. He can do self-esteem coaching, sex education, sex coaching, tantric, join a sex positive group, and get help from a clinical sexologist.

Understanding that sex is not just about penetration, but intimacy, love and feeling good, then the pressure to perform can be minimized and the penis can rise to the occasion.

Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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Dr. Dawn Michael

Dawn is a Certified Clinical Sexologist and Intimacy Counselor. Her proven techniques have helped thousands of couples to not only improve their sex lives but the intimacy in their marriage as well. Promoting healthy sexuality and sex positive views for couples and individuals is one of Dawn’s passions. Dawn uses a holistic approach with her patients providing help with sexual dysfunction, age related sexual health, lack of desire and hormone related issues, working with other practitioners to find solutions to all sexual related problems.

Dawn is a public speaker and educator providing information on women’s and men’s sexual health issues. She is a professional member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS). Dawn is presently completing her doctoral studies at The Institute For Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

A professional writer with several hundred published articles in the field of human sexuality, relationships, and sexual health. She has been a featured guest on the Ricki Lake show, Dr. Susan Block show, Playboy Radio, Howard Bragman radio, Houzz publications, Corset Magazine, Your Health Connection Magazine, PsychCentral, eHarmoney, Wellness and YourTango to name a few. Dawn is a writer for the L.A. Love & Marriage Examiner.

Get in touch with Dawn via email at


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