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How To Have A Successful Domme/Sub Relationship

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How To Have A Successful Domme/Sub Relationship

Obviously I am very open minded. Working as a Findomme/FemDome, how could I not be. Even though Findom stands for financial domination, it still involves plenty of other kinks and fetishes than only money transfer.

Honestly, when I started my work as a Domme, I got so many requests to cater to all kinds of kinks that I got very overwhelmed and needed to take a little time to do some soul searching in myself.

What kind of Domme am I?

What do I enjoy most about my work?

I needed to find clear boundaries for myself. What am I comfortable doing and what fights with my personal morals/thoughts. I don’t believe in home wrecking. Blackmail is a fetish of many but it is such a grey area (legally) so I decided not to put myself in that position.

Obviously all is a fantasy, but a girls’ got to be smart and true to herself. I don’t cater to scat fetish neither.

These are just my limits.

Remember this whole interview is my personal thoughts and experiences as a Domme, model and a business woman in the fetish scene.

Sensual & Hypno Domination

I will tackle this interview in the perspective of my style of Domination. As we are talking about the powerful relationship between a Domme/sub, I want to first explain a bit about the different types of slaves and relationships there are.

Each sub is different and so is each relationship with each slave. I categorize my slaves into two categories.

Long term slaves and session slaves.

There is a huge difference on how those relationships work. Obviously the bond between a Domme and slave increases the more we interact. Personally I enjoy most dominating my long term slaves, and we usually have a TPE (Total power exchange) contract. Meaning that the submissive chooses to give me as much control and power over their entire life.

Body, mind, soul, finances etc the list goes on. These relationships are very important to me, since I interact with them daily. I have deep penetrated their mind helping them to  intense feelings of pleasure and total loss of control.

Introducing them to mental kinks that they maybe never could have even thought of. This is a deep mental fetish even though money is a huge part of it. To a sub, the feeling of total loss of control is a thrill and they also consider it a huge privilege.

So I think being someones’ Domme is somewhat similar to being a life coach. Both help people discover their true passions, blocks and help them through a mental journey…in this case a very kinky journey.

I feel like I am the disease and the cure to a sub. I believe 100% that it is possible to live a fulfilling and happy ‘vanilla’ life whilst serving a Domme and being able to express their kinks and fetishes in a safe setting. I won’t go to full details regarding sensual and hypno Domination.

From that you can read more about later.

What A Domme/Sub Relationship Involves

Trust.

Detication.

Obidyence.

Admiration.

Commitment.

Full fetish fun!

Rules To Have A Balanced Life

Like I already said; each relationship is unique but there is a similar pattern that I go through with every single sub I associate with once we are getting started.

This is a routine that I recommend Dommes to use to avoid getting your time wasted but to also dominating safely so that both you and your subs get to live a balanced life.

We also want to avoid misunderstanding our subs and the nature of our relationship with them. We need to take care of all the moving parts to have a awesome successful relationship with all our slaves.

First Step A Sub Must Do

The first step is always (without any exception) a ‘Tribute’.

Tribute is money that the submissive sends to the Domme when contacting her. It is not a payment for any service.

It basically just lets the Domme know that you are serious with starting a D/s relationship with this Dominatrix.

Especially in the online Findom/Femdom community there are plenty of scammers, hence why us Dommes require a initial tribute as a proof that they are not being scammed or getting their precious time wasted.

Designing The Contract/Session

Now after the initial tribute has been sent, this is the next step.

I have a ready made template of important questions regarding kinks/limits/budget etc that I ask all of my slaves to fill out.

This way I can actually start doing my job.

This also helps me to categorise the sub into one of my two categories.

  1. Long Term slaves
  2. Session slaves

Why Do Submissives Seek Out A Relationship With A Domme?

Let’s imagine that a sub is in a happy and successful relationship or a marriage with a ‘vanilla’ spouse whom they love but maybe are not into the fetish lifestyle or Domination.

They most likely do not feel comfortable experimenting in that area. I don’t believe that anyone should be forced to do anything sexual that they do not feel comfortable doing. So there are few options from where couples can take it from here.

Either the submissive one who would love to be dominated has to suffocate his urges to explore with his kinks and fetishes in order to stay with their loved one; resulting in an unbalanced/unhappy life.

That can in worst cases result to mental health issues, cheating on your partner, cheating yourself or even a divorce.

Or the couple can make an arrangement that the submissive can fulfil his kinky fantasies with a professional Domme in a safe setting, possibly via the internet.

This is the ideal situation, obviously assuming that the ‘vanilla’ partner gives an okay to this action.

Many subs live in a long happy relationship while being in a D/s relationship.

Perfect balance. What the difference is that the Fetish is a fantasy.

Your love is real.

Not to belittle the beauty and power of a D/s relationship at all! But we must all understand that it is a fantasy! There are also subs who practise their kink is silence and they keep it a secret from their spouse. There are as many scenarios as there are people.

This can be a tricky situation for a Domme. Personally I deal with this problem together with my limits; what I’m willing to do and what not. I do not believe in home-wrecking or blackmail. I’m all about female empowerment so I have very strict morals in my dominant work.

At the best you are able to get the best of both lives,  doesn’t everyone love a little fetish with their vanilla?


Von Nette

When I started my career as Von Nette just the beginning of 2018, things escalated big, real quick. I’m definitely a perfectionist and put my whole heart and soul to everything I do. I have a hunger and a passion for what I do and I know my craft.

I would definitely describe myself as professional Fetishist, Model, FinDomme, FemDomme, seductress and your favourite addiction. I’m a sensual , deep woman full of mystery and surprises.

I used to work as a professional hair- and makeup stylist. I have been working in the beauty industry in photoshoots , video sets and all places, always secretly hoping to be the one in front of the camera one day.

As a very creative person by nature I have done visual art and even had few art exhibitions in my vanilla life. I have also been writing from ever since I can remember. As a teenager I started a vanilla lifestyle blog that did well but naturally took a turn towards love, relationships, sex, fetishes and kinks.

So I decided to make my dreams come true. Now I am Von Nette! I get frequently asked that is Von Nette Me or a Alter Ego. Both. Its a side of me that I must express. Its a side who wants to brake all taboos and get to the bottom of things. The side who has always loved to make a lasting impression to people threw my own art…now I’ve gotten to the conclusion that I am The art. I am what makes the lasting impression on people. I can not suffocate this side of me any longer. I was put on this earth to create. I must fulfill that passion!

I am proud of what I do and gladly hard work paid off since I won EroAward 2018 category ‘Supreme Goddess’ with only 6 months into my work. I know this is just a start of a long inspiring career.  Financial Domination in itself is a form of art that only the rare master, I love what I do and have fun with it. I hope you enjoy me, my work and outlook on different taboo subjects as much as I truly enjoy creating content.

Follow Von Nette on

Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettenasty

RedSkyMedia: http://www.redskyeworld.com/models/2018/nasty-von-nette.htm


Article images courtesy of Von Nette, featured image from Shutterstock

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Von Nette

When I started my career as Von Nette just the beginning of 2018, things escalated big, real quick. I'm definitely a perfectionist and put my whole heart and soul to everything I do. I have a hunger and a passion for what I do and I know my craft. I would definitely describe myself as professional Fetishist, Model, FinDomme, FemDomme, seductress and your favourite addiction. I'm a sensual , deep woman full of mystery and surprises.

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