As a Pro-Domme of nearly 20 years, I’ve been in the BDSM community/alternative lifestyle for a long while. I find the people in the community to be intelligent, well read (and spoken, typically) as well as a welcoming group as a whole. While my degree says I’m an accountant; I cannot imagine ever giving up the lifestyle. Between something new everyday to the interesting people and their stories – it is quite a celebration of seizing each moment and truly living. I find kink and alternative lifestyles to be an extension of a person (not all there is to a person, but a facet.) Usually, it’s a very interesting facet how each individual came to the lifestyle.
What Is Jerk Off Instruction
JOI, or Jerk Off Instruction is guided masturbation. Essentially, it’s my belief that if a man is left on his own to “Jerk Off” then he’ll just get at it; sadly not savoring or enjoying it. I really enjoy having a man take his time, explore the different parts of his cock (penis), as well as different methods, rhythms and “games” that can come with JOI. I enjoy when a man ejaculates, and laughs saying, “Yhat might have been my best orgasm ever.”
That’s a sign I did something right. I adore men. Orgasms should be savored – enjoy the build up – enjoy the edge…then finally have a nice explosive (or a sweet wet) release. I must say that I didn’t come up with this all on my own, a dear friend of mine from Nevada is a retired Brothel Worker – and what I have the guys to is loosely based on how she would give them a mind blowing hand job (only translated into self pleasure!)
Why Men Love JOI
JOI is safe. You aren’t cheating on your partner, you won’t catch any diseases and no one will get pregnant! Most men need to cum/ejaculate at least every 3 days or so – JOI gives them a different (and fun most of the time) way to do it. Men, traditionally, have more high-stress jobs; they make decisions all day that are high stress – so same reason a man might come to see a Domme or FemDom are the same reasons he would come to me for JOI –to give up control/power, if only for a while. (Power exchange, no thinking needed…just do as he’s told.)
One of the main ones is the method of delivery – most people can’t figure out how or where to get good JOI. Fortunately, there are many ways – if you’re just looking for general JOI there are plenty of free porn sites with videos (with JOI) or web teases…even forums and erotica sites all with free jerk off instructions. However, if a fella wants something custom, specific to his fetishes or more interaction – there’s phone sex, custom video, custom audio and even sexting (not to mention cam sites or cam to cam).
Typical JOI Sessions
I tend to deliver JOI two ways (outside of in person Domme sessions of course). The first is phone sex (which is nice, because I can hear his breathing, stroking, moans etc) and the second being MP3’s (recorded instructions). Sometimes I put a simple roleplay with it (I’m the neighbor that caught you wanking, I’m your teacher, I’m whoever they need me to be…) but sometimes it’s just simple masturbation guidance.
I encourage them to get as naked as they are comfortable with. To get (and use) some good quality lube (something that won’t dry out or get sticky) Then, I guide them through how to stroke their cocks, the speed in which to do it…sometimes there’s edging, sometimes a countdown, sometimes denial and sometimes an amazing explosive orgasm. (All sort of depending on what the client is seeking.)
Mistress DJ – Mistress DJ is a Pro-Domme that got her start in 2001 in Nevada. After working doing real time sessions, she moved to the countryside. Though she still does real-time sessions on occasion – she mostly has translated her style of Domination to online. Considered a veteran by many, she’s quick to help other women in the adult industry and will repeat “she loves her life as a Domme.”
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I am continually creating new mp3’s (with JOI) and am available for custom recordings as well as live phone calls.
Article images courtesy of Mistress DJ, featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
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