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Attraction & Misconceptions Behind Vaginal Fisting

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Attraction & Misconceptions Behind Vaginal Fisting

I started exploring BDSM about 11 years ago. I have been in the “lifestyle” for many years. And for just a little bit longer than that, I have been aware that I had a particular hunger for extreme penetration. I’ve been an avid fistee and sometimes fister, for as long as I’ve been involved in the lifestyle. Over the last two years, I developed a business as a dominatrix. My specialty (what 70% of my clients hire me for) is mixed wrestling/grappling. I also enjoy electrical play, medical play, heavy impact play, humiliation (giving), and am still hoping to become an eventual rope expert (these things do take time). Today I am writing about a long-time personal fetish of mine.

I used to have a lifestyle Fetlife profile, where my handle was FistMePlzLA. After starting my business I found it necessary to deactivate it, to avoid confusion about what kinds of services I was and was not offering to my clients. You can still see some of my writing and comments in FetLife forums having to do with vaginal fisting and other extreme penetration. I still have the goal of sticking my foot up someone’s a**. Maybe someday…I am not monogamous, although I’m not so much of a swinger as much as an aspiring cuckholdress. I do have a “Mistress” mentality, and prefer devoted service-oriented partners. I am accepting of pretty much all sexual expression (between consenting adults). Like everyone, I have preferences for my own life.

Vaginal fisting is about inserting an adult hand into a woman’s vagina, for the woman’s pleasure.

Attraction Behind Vaginal Fisting

If you asked ten people, you would probably get ten different answers. The most commonly given reason by women is that the feeling of being “stretched”, or feeling “full” is enjoyable. It has to do with the distribution of nerves in the vagina. The vagina feels pressure and stretching better than it feels touching or stroking. So, fisting then is upping the anti on that sensation, and making it very intense.

From the side of the person that is doing the fisting, you will never get closer to a woman’s orgasm than this. You will feel every squeeze and pulse of her vagina, and every contraction of her uterus. It’s a very intimate and intense experience for both people. I’ve never had someone come away from fisting me and not feel we had “connected” deeply through it (except for that one guy with aspergers).

Some men in particular love how it looks, or how it feels to fist someone, or just enjoy how fisting gives their partner a cascade of multiple screaming orgasms. There is a lot to love about fisting.

Misconceptions About Fisting

The word “fisting” conjures up images of forcefully punching a closed hand into and out of the vagina. This is not how it works. Insertion takes patience and maneuvering. It’s common to have your hand in the shape of a duckbill when it’s being inserted. Once you’re in, you may (or may not) then close your hand into a fist (depending on your partners comfort). The motions of a hand in the vagina usually start out very slow and delicate and build up to whatever level of movement she finds most pleasurable. For some women, this can then start to look like plunging back and forth, but for many others it’s more about little twists of the wrist, pulsing the fist slightly more open and more closed, and/or rubbing sweet spots with your knuckles. It’s important that the person being fisted takes the lead on just how much motion there is.

I’ve never heard someone say that they enjoy getting punched in the cervix (FYI: if you can’t find it, you aren’t ready to fist someone yet). Although, now I’ve put it out there, I probably will, lol.

Another common misconception is that fisting will stretch out a woman’s vagina. This isn’t true. The vagina is elastic. It will snap back to its original shape. How long it takes depends on several factors, like the health of the woman, how often she gets fisted, how much exercise and kegels she does. One of my smuggest trophies is a collection of texts from a bull complaining about how sore he was after having sex with me, because I clenched him so tightly inside me.

Another misconception (and a pet peeve of mine) is that the woman’s vagina needs to be “trained” to take a fist. There are many elaborate methods people have employed to  encourage the vagina to stretch, most of which are based on a misunderstanding of how the vagina works. Any stretching that needs to happen, can be done right then and there during the act. No exhaustive prep is needed. Vaginas naturally become more pliable and “unfold” when a woman is aroused and properly stimulated. Working your hand in takes skill, practice, and lots of lube, not “training”.


Goddess Anat – I’m a professional BDSM Dominant (Dominatrix) and Session Wrestler working in the southern California/Los Angeles area. I have over 10 years of experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I can be sadistic and sensual, rough and playful, filthy and pristine. My BDSM palate is eclectic. I thrive on variety, thrills, and energy exchange. I love wrestling, edge play, impact play, medical play, electricity, foot worship, stocking/heel worship, degradation/humiliation and generally anything that inspires you to grovel and drool at My feet.

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Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock, article image courtesy of Goddess Anat

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Goddess Anat

I'm a professional BDSM Dominant (Dominatrix) and Session Wrestler working in the southern California/Los Angeles area. I have over 10 years of experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I can be sadistic and sensual, rough and playful, filthy and pristine. My BDSM palate is eclectic. I thrive on variety, thrills, and energy exchange. I love wrestling, edge play, impact play, medical play, electricity, foot worship, stocking/heel worship, degradation/humiliation and generally anything that inspires you to grovel and drool at My feet.

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