Kink and alternative lifestyles are arenas for exploration of life and sexuality. In my opinion, being into kink can add renewed excitement and lust for life. It is thrilling to discover the many ways we can play with the body and mind with everything from costumes to riding crops to psychological manipulation.
After fifty shades of grey, kink seems to have moved from the fringes of society into average Joe’s bedroom, a development I feel ambivalent towards. On one hand, I am happy to see more people introduced to the delights of kink. On the other hand, I am mildly concerned that people who are not really into kink might feel pressured into doing it because everyone else is or it’s cool at the moment. I believe kink is best when motivated by personal desire with matching, consenting partner(s).
Whats It’s Like To Be A Switch
As a switch, I feel empowered and liberated both by giving up control and by taking on full control. In everyday life, I feel more flexible, and able to have a deeper understanding of power dynamics.
The idea of releasing control and exploring the intersection of pleasure and pain always appealed to me. I tend to be more on the submissive side in my personal sex life, and get extremely turned on by being spanked, slapped, tied up, having my hair pulled and so on. I love having someone take charge and bend me into different positions and fuck me hard. Since I am a pretty bossy lady, it can be liberating not to think about what to do, but instead, just being in the moment with a partner who directs the show.
After leaning more towards the submissive side for years, I started playing with being dominant and discovered the pleasure and excitement in having someone give up control to me. The thrill of designing an experience in which you take your partner to his edge (and beyond) is an amazing high. I now love being dominant, in particular in sex work, because I enjoy providing the space for a client to explore the sides of himself that he does not get to act out in his ordinary life. Since I know firsthand what the sub experience is like, I feel I can more easily provide this for clients and lovers.
Preference For Being Dominant Or Submissive
I usually prefer to be submissive in my personal life and dominant at work. For me, being a submissive requires a large amount of trust, something that builds up within time, and therefore I tend to save my submissive side for private encounters or client relationships where trust has been built. As a dominatrix, I love designing experiences for my clients based on their submissive desires.
Kink Activities I Love
I love spanking, both giving and receiving. I enjoy the different types of delicious pain inflicted by a hand, a paddle, riding crop, and flogger. A flogger is probably my favorite.
As a sub, besides spanking, I love being flipped into different positions, getting tied up or held down, as well as using a blindfold, getting my hair pulled, nipples pinched hard, and light slapping.
As a domme, besides the spanking, I enjoy taking control and putting my partner into different positions for me to physically take charge, pin him down, and fuck him with a strap on. Other things I enjoy as a domme is using a collar and leash, nipple torture, slave training, cock and ball torture and ball busting.
Anal play, strap on, foot fetish and trampling are some of the requests I get the most these days.
Characteristics Of A Good Sub
A good sub gets turned on by the idea of giving up control to their partner. A good sub is in it voluntarily for his or her own pleasure, not to please a partner. He or she is open-minded, willing and able to suspend control, obedient, and eager to explore their sexuality. A good sub is also clear about their boundaries, and soft and hard limits, so the domme knows what to avoid and where to tread with caution.
Tips To Be A Switch
I would not say it is easy being a switch, since it involves knowing oneself deeply and the ability to perform a complete role reversal. However, it gives me so many options and has most certainly added color and excitement to my life.
If someone is keen to become a switch, I suggest they do their research and find what turns them on by the idea of being a submissive, and by being a dominant. Then, I recommend experimenting with a partner they completely trust, or hire a professional to explore with in a safe environment.
Nina Nyx – Nina Nyx is a Sydney based Scandinavian escort, masseuse, and dominatrix. Nina is an all-natural, curvy blonde, deeply passionate about traveling, writing, massage, alternative rock, yoga, dancing, and sexploration.
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New session: For the man and/or woman curious of exploring being a switch, I am now offering switch sessions.
Images courtesy of Nina Nyx
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