My fascination with kink and alternative lifestyles started when I came out as queer as a teenager. Through connecting and engaging with the queer community, I gradually learnt more about alternative ways of viewing sex, gender, pleasure and pain. Entering the adult industry in my mid twenties was where I first became aware of transactional kink and BDSM play, and where I found a safe space to explore all types of taboo fantasies and role plays through the anonymity of the client/escort relationship.
For me, kink practices serve as a way for humans to explore parts of their psyche that they ordinarily keep hidden away from society due to stigma, shame or even simply impracticality. Kink allows us to wear masks (sometimes literally) and find our authentic selves through performativity. Now, kink and roleplay are integral parts of my personal life, and one that I consider a great privilege to share with others.
How My Interest In Submission Began
Submission is something I came to gradually, dipping one to after another into the world of energy play and BDSM. I was in an open relationship with a retired pro-dom and through learning about his relationships with his submissives, I began to learn about the diverse types of kink play and gradually began educating myself through reading and attending kink events.
Being a Sub has always been very natural to me. I love to please, to be taken care of, and I hate having to make decisions. Kink and BDSM are an exaggerated version of the more ‘vanilla’ aspects of my day to day relationships, and the ability to parody and subvert these social dynamics in a way that was intimate, pleasurable and safe is a huge part of my interest in Submission.
Expectations Of A Submissive
A Submissive is a vessel through which a Dominant channels their erotic energy, with both parties playing out a mutually satisfying fantasy of domination and control.
There are many different types of Submissives, from brats, princesses, puppys, slaves and human toilets. All with their own unique desires and needs. However the main expectation from any Sub is that they will be eager to serve and please their dominant in whichever way is requested of them – within negotiated boundaries of course! When I am in a Submissive space, I am 100% focused on pleasing my partner, finding out what they want, how to move, how to look, every aspect of my being is focused on giving pleasure and hanging out for that all important validation! I live for hearing the words ‘good girl!’
Common Misconceptions About Subs
A Submissive is not weak. We are not pushovers, easily manipulated, or passive victims with no will of our own. Submission is a conscious act – chosen through much deliberation and negotiation. When I am in subspace, I am completely in control – nothing happens without being expressly permitted by me ahead of time. Many people are under the misapprehension that Submissives are simply people who allow you to do anything you want to them – the reality being that we are incredibly choosey about who we allow to control and lead us. I have even been told that being a Submissive means that my boundaries don’t need to be respected (or that I enjoy having them violated) and have routinely had my bodily autonomy encroached upon by strangers in kink spaces.
Another misconception is that submission is all about pain – we aren’t all masochists! For me, my favorite type of play is sensual domination, pet play and Daddy/Littlegirl role play, where I feel cared for, nurtured and protected. Sadism and masochism are only two of the many delights on offer in the kink/BDSM buffet!
My Two Favorite Fetishes
In it’s most basic form, pet play is a form of role play where one or more people assume the role of a pet/animal. Most commonly this takes the form of puppy play, kitten play and pony play, with one person as a ‘pet’ and the other acting as a ‘handler’. Most of the time, pet play is heavily based in traditional D/S power dynamics, with the handler playing the role of Master.
I absolutely love being a kitten – sometimes I can be reticent or superior, spurning advances and refusing my Masters’ touch unless approached with the loving respect I deserve. Other times I am playful and seductive, inviting you to stroke me all over while I deliver teasing licks and nuzzles. I also love to indulge in puppy play, whether it be performing tricks, begging for treats, simply lying content at Masters feet while he relaxes. Like any good Puppy – I require strict and loving discipline and love undertaking difficult tasks for my handlers enjoyment.
Pet play is particularly rewarding for those who enjoy their kink to be more nurturing and caring. It is one of the purist forms of escapism, creating a fantasy world where both parties fully embody their new characters – and in doing so, discard the repressive or mundane aspects of themselves for a moment.
Wet play is my absolute favourite for of kink play! – I could never date someone who wasn’t prepared to indulge me in this incredibly intimate taboo.
Wet play is better known as waterports or golden showers. For me, a typical scene could be anything from giving and/or receiving golden showers to filling a pool with urine and wrestling and fucking in the mess. To a lesser extent, spit fetishes also fall under the wet play umbrella. Think spitting, licking and sloppy kissing and wet sensual blow jobs to create a slippery, carnal and hedonistic environment. Wet play is the ultimate rejection of puritanical values which dictate that bodily fluids and natural bodies are somehow unhygienic or unpalatable. To me, when you truly desire someone – you desire all of them!
Wetplay is also hugely stigmatized with almost all porn distribution platforms refusing to show depictions of urine or golden showers, and many credit card companies will refuse to accept payment on any depiction of people urinating on each other. The only other categories of porn that are subject to the same stigma are pedophilia and rape. This means that many clients I see with wet play fetishes are extremely ashamed of their desires. Lucky for me I love to help people shake off societal shaming around fetishes and help them to embrace their depravity with abandon.
Dion De Rossi – Dion De Rossi, is an Australian escort, prosubmissive and pornstar living and working in Berlin. She considers sex work to be a spiritually satisfying pursuit, creating fantasy worlds where people from all backgrounds can find a safe space to explore taboo and misunderstood fetishes without judgement. When she is not satisfying the sexual needs of friends and lovers, she is focused on her activism, rescuing and rehoming animals from the agricultural industry.
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Dion is currently focusing on providing fantasy and prosubbing doubles with Queen of Queer porn Sadie Lune, and performing in feminist and psychedelic porn productions for friends in Berlin.
Images courtesy of Dion De Rossi
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