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“The Future of Sex” – Closing Insights from Sarah Calleja

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“The Future of Sex” – Closing Insights from Sarah Calleja

The future of sex has arrived

Have you explored virtual sex toys that promise ‘interactive sex’ with another person over the Internet? Would you consider sex with a robot? What about ‘Smart insertables’ which help women train their pelvic floor muscles with games? Have you heard US regulators have just approved the release of “female Viagra”, a drug known as Addyi?

Welcome to the future that’s customizing individual sexual options.

The New York Toy Collective believe that consenting adults should be able to have whatever kind of sex they want, with whoever they want, regardless of the body they or their partner were born with. They specialize in self-affirming products for all forms of sexual expression and are the first and only company to use 3D scanning technology to allow consumers to create sex toys modelled after their own bodies.

For those who own a 3-D printer, the site MakerLove offers all types of free sex toy designs for downloading for people who want the freedom to privately own their own                                                                                          pleasure. 

For those wanting more than the standard sex robot, at between $US6,000 to $US60,000 Hermaphrodite-doll enthusiasts can order removable genitals so they can go back and forth between genders. A Pew Research Centre report claims that by 2025 robot sex will be “commonplace.”

                 HappyPlayTime's Mascot!

HappyPlayTime’s Mascot!


Apps like SexPositive, developed by the University of Oregon, teach safe sex practices though a fun, nonjudgmental interface. The cartoonish app HappyPlayTime tries to take the stigma out of female masturbation by guiding women through the process.

Dating apps can provoke anxiety with users when people are unsure how to best manage protocols like writing their bios; including photos; being honest about age; exaggerating positives or considering outright lying.

Some people worry about being shamed when on various dating sites or exposed by hackers on sites like Ashley Madison. It would be interesting to have a discussion why up to 31 million on Ashley Madison alone are not so concerned about internet privacy and will pay for the opportunity to explore sexual fantasy with a random stranger and not their partner.

Technology can also be used to enable healthy sexual expression. Safe sex apps are readily available to facilitate a healthier sex life.

Award winning educational apps like Parents, tweens and sex app enable and empower parents and their tweens to improve communication and advocacy when discussing confronting sexual issues.

Explore Women’s sex allows users to appreciate the clitoral anatomy and how they are involved in sexual arousal.

Dating IRL (In Real Life) anymore?

In the recent past, lengthy surveys designed to figure out who you are made predictions for compatibility. Now, intuitive technology learns your preferences based on your actions. Online dating trends reveal almost a quarter of online daters find a spouse or long-term partner through online dating but, women get a ton more attention than men.

While in the past we met prospective partners through work, family or a shared interest, the new wave of ‘meet ups’ which are independently-run and based on single people’s quirks and interests are responding to people’s desire to meet IRL.

When people meet IRL, they can read facial and body cues when interacting with other people. Grooming, hygiene, socio-economic status and capacity to communicate are also considerations for people when assessing a prospective partner.

IRL separates digital fiction from reality.

Does technology help relationship sex – you know the type between live, consenting adults across the sexual spectrum? Or, is technology the new ‘secret affair’ that demands our attention and disrupts, corrupts and interrupts love?

To be the best lover, you must be ‘present’ and ‘in the moment’ with your partner, to activate all your senses, smell, touch, sight, sound and hearing. This allows you to be fully present, in thought, word and deed. It isn’t about sex toys; it’s about connecting, being curious, reaching out, experimenting, tuning in and responding in kind. It’s about being desired and validating your capacity to be pleasured and to do the pleasuring. It’s about getting off on the chemistry.

Or, we could choose to have sex with (compliant) robots and a future where sex devices interact with a movie or a computer avatar.

Or both….

My personal and professional experience has been that we all value physical and emotional intimacy too much to give that up. It seems like the future trend is IRL, because a virtual relationship isn’t sustainable. Playing with technology helps us to engage our curiosity, play and experiment with our casual or long term partners in ways that were never possible in the past, but –

If a time came when a robot could give us more pleasure than a human, then we humans should be trying harder!

Sarah Calleja is a Counselling Psychologist and Clinical Sexologist, media consultant, author, and app developer.

When Sarah isn’t hard at work as a counselling psychologist and clinical sexologist, or consulting for the media, she loves being a trendsetter in the field of sexology. Sarah regularly presents at international conferences and creates training sessions for health professionals.  She writes opinion-editorials for a variety of media and personal blogs can be viewed on her website.

Sarah’s new app, ‘Parents, Tweens and Sex’, a first of its kind app for the iPad designed in collaboration with Swinburne University and featured as a finalist in the digital design category of the 2013 Premier’s Design Awards. This interactive app empowers parents and tweens with the necessary resources to make informed choices to be mindful, comfortable, respectful and responsive when they choose to engage in sexual relationships.

Sarah is also a wife, mother, mentor, friend and the proud owner of laugh lines!

This article has been republished with permission by Sarah Calleja. To view the original post, read it here

Images courtesy of Nina Calleja
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Sarah Calleja

Sarah is a counselling psychologist and clinical sexologist, media consultant, loves being a trendsetter in the field of sexology and is a proud advocate for Sexual Integrity. Sarah has been writing opinion-editorials for various media, and contributes to psychosexual community education using her blogs and social media platforms. Contact Sarah at| t:+03 98231103 | f: +03 98231190

Get in touch with Sarah via email


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