This is a ridiculous statement to make. I am embarrassed to make it but I have to, why? Because the mainstream believes that ‘disabled’ people are either asexual or invisible and invisible people don’t have sex. They can’t you see—they’re invisible.
Before we launch together into discussing this and putting some myths at bay, please let me tell you that I do not like the word ‘Disabled’ which is why I invert it and which is why I will, after one more mention, refer to you as Handicapable. As a wordsmith and former psychotherapist, I believe that words have power. I also believe that this power goes far deeper than we could ever imagine and as such I believe that this power can able us … or, yes you’ve guessed it ‘Dis-able’ us. Can you see where I’m coming from?
It is not my intention to offend you or disrespect your right to be visible. I know, as someone of an alternative sexuality and as someone who works in a profession marginalised by society that having a label can indeed help in this process of becoming noticed. However, I am a wordsmith and I must stay faithful to my belief. I do hope you understand.
Switch on your TV, flick through the pages of any magazine, look at billboards in Times Square/Covent Garden and you will see exactly the same thing: white, able bodied, heterosexual, young, beautiful toned models selling anything from Vodka to Tampons.
It’s all a crock of #enteryourcursehere#.
It’s time we wise up and open up to the reality of life. It is the moment we have all been waiting for, that time in our lives, that point in evolution when the ‘last monkey’ wakes up and smells the revolution.
If you have no idea what I am talking about—brilliant. This will motivate your curiosity to do some research and pop some search terms into an internet search engine. If you do know what I am talking about you might be as weary as me. What happens to you when you become weary? How do you feel right now? Do you feel included? Or excluded? Is there anything we can do together to make things just a little better for each other?
Engage with me. I’m sure that we can come up with something: together.
My Mum was a wheelchair user and I remember being just ten years old pushing her around town, going to the shops etc. I lost count of the number of times the stupid sales assistants would ask me: ‘What does she want?’ ‘Would she like the crumbed or honey roast ham?’ etc. My response would always be: ‘Well why don’t you ask her!?’ Infuriating.
Now, something you don’t really wanna know about your parents and certainly something I didn’t want to know about mine but we are on SimplySxy so I do have to sex this up: my Mum loved sex. She had a wide selection of dildos, strap-ons and vibrators stuffed in her wardrobe (and they all fell out one day, onto my poor sixteen year old head, I was scarlet with embarrassment). When Mum met her third husband, the poor man was almost worn out with her insatiable sexual appetite. She, quite inappropriately one day, blurted out to me: ‘I’ve given him thrush! It’s them antibiotics I took! His knob is red raw!’ Now let me just tell you something in case you are worrying about this slightly unhealthy disclosure (although fucking hilarious) my dear Mum now departed was a drinker, she very much enjoyed a drink of whisky and so sometimes she was somewhat shall we say, non-conventional in her parenting. However, she was fucking brilliant and I wouldn’t change a thing. The point I am making is this: Mum was human. Human beings have sex, get over it.
Are you Handicapable? What are you capable of in the bedroom and is there anything I can do to help you?
Let’s all get together—Handicapable, wheelchair users, non wheelchair users, straight, bi, gay, trans—whatever. I’m tired of all this segregation crap.
Let’s all make love. Together. Now.
PS: Stay tuned over the coming weeks, stick to me like glue: I’ve got something to tell you.