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Top 10 SEX TOYS: Dildos, Vibrators, and Butt Plugs, Oh My!

Sex Ed

Top 10 SEX TOYS: Dildos, Vibrators, and Butt Plugs, Oh My!

There are oodles and oodles of different kinds of sex toys on the market today … which ones should you try, where do you even begin? And what is a ball gag??? When you initially begin to explore the world of sex toys it can be daunting, especially if you are not quite sure what you are looking for or what you or your partner would even enjoy. In addition, accurate and useful information about toys can be hard to come by; sometimes you just have to take the manufacturer’s word for it which may not be helpful to you. This article is meant to be a general guide to (my) top ten sex toys, which as you will see is really my top seventeen-ish sex toys (I couldn’t pick just ten!). All of these toys are in no particular ranked order, although you may be able to figure out some of my preferences from the list I have generated.

Before we begin, let me be up front about this list; this is not an exhaustive list by any means and many unique toys (like toys that are supposed to simulate oral sex for instance) may not be represented, but it doesn’t mean that they are any less fun than the toys that are highlighted. In addition, these are just general names for toys, any sex toy purchasing (or creating) consumer should be mindful of the materials that are used in the toys they are using on themselves and their partner(s). Materials such as glass, wood, and some silicones are totally safe, but there are some toys made of plastics and other materials that contain parabens and it is not safe to expose yourself to these over long periods of time. Parabens are commonly used as a kind of preservative or bactericidal in hundreds of products we use every day such as cosmetics and toothpastes. However, some research has shown that they may be linked to cancer. Sometimes you can get away with toys that are made of different plastics that may have parabens in cases when they are not meant to be used internally, like paddles for example. Just being mindful and informed about what you are purchasing may prevent scary health concerns. Without further ado … the sex toy list!

1. Vibrators
There is a plethora of vibrators out there such as bullets, rabbits, and larger dildos that vibrate. The bullets are generally smaller and are primarily for external use and can be put on a variety of vibrating speeds and patterns for your pleasure. Rabbits and other dildo vibrators are often used to penetrate and there is the extra bonus of good vibrations!

2. Dildos

There are all kinds of dildos ranging from the small ones to large ones, ones with wider girths and they all are made of different materials—glass, wood, silicone, even stainless steel. Some look like animals, some are double ended and others are meant to resemble an actual penis. A good rule to keep in mind when considering if a dildo will fit in either you or your partner is the two finger rule; typically the width of your index finger and middle finger together is a good gauge to determine the width of a dildo that would fit comfortably.

3. Strap-ons

Strap-ons refer to a dildo placed in a harness that you can wear around your waist (like putting on underwear or shorts) that you can use to penetrate your partner. Again, a wide range of dildos can typically fit into a harness to make a strap-on. Male-bodied and female-bodied individuals can wear a strap-on or be penetrated by one; male-bodied individuals can use one to double penetrate their female-bodied partners.

 4. Anal toys (beads and butt plugs)

Anal beads are usually a string of silicone beads that are all attached and can be used in a variety of ways. Some individuals like to put all the beads in and pull them out either quickly or slowly. Be careful with any anal toys that do not have a flanged base (butt plugs are flanged); otherwise they may become stuck in your partner’s anus if you let go of those toys, which would not be good! Butt plugs are great for that double penetration (without the thrusting) feel while giving the sensation of fullness at the same time. Other anal toys include prostate simulators that can be used on male-bodied individuals to stimulate their prostates which can lead to more intense orgasms.

5. Paddles/floggers

These toys are super fun for the masochist in your life who likes to be spanked or flogged (that person may be you!). Paddles can be made of wood, plastic, leather etc. and floggers can be made of leather or horse hair, I have even seen floggers made out of electric cables. Some people may disagree with how I put paddles and floggers together in my list, but generally paddles and floggers can hit a larger surface of the body and provide more of a “thud” upon contact which some people may prefer over a crop for example. If you have never used a paddle or flogger before, go slow and frequently check in with the person you are using the toy on to make sure they are finding it pleasurable during the first few times you use it. If they aren’t, listen to their direction about how to make it better (their direction may also be to tell you to stop using the paddle or flogger on them, which is okay too).

6. Crops/whips

Crops and whips often cause a more piercing or “sharp” pain when they come in contact with your skin when your partner uses a crop on the backs of your legs or across your butt. Similarly to floggers, crops and whips can be made out of leather materials or hides of animals like cowhide or bullhide. Again, be careful when first getting accustomed to using a whip or crop properly and check in with your partner as you explore. Some whips have long tails so make sure that you have enough room to use the whips too.

7. Handcuffs/bondage tape

Handcuffs and other forms of bondage, like rope or bondage tape (that only sticks to itself and nothing else, like your sheets or your skin) can be great fun! Handcuffs can be made of plastic or metal and other bondage materials could be rope, zip ties, neck ties or even other articles of clothing or accessories around your home. Again, make sure you and your partner are checking in with each other about if you/they still want to be tied up. Sometimes planning out or contracting about how long you/your partner will be tied up for can relieve some anxiety about being tied up. Safe words could be helpful when playing around with bondage, if you/your partner uses the decided upon safe word, it’s time to untie them.

8. (Ball) Gags

Gags are commonly made of leather of other flexible materials and there usually is some sort of buckle in the back so the gag stays tight around your face and mouth without being too tight or too loose. Gags can also be household items too, like a scarf. However, be careful that the gag you use is not suffocating your partner or severely limiting their air intake. Safe gestures, instead of safe words, may be useful when using gags, as your partner may not be able to clearly verbalize a safe word. Instead, they may hold up a fist or an open palm to alert you that they need to be checked in with.

9. Blindfolds

Blindfolds can be great for sensory deprivation to heighten arousal for your partner, so they don’t quite know where you will kiss or touch them next. Blindfolds can be something as simple as a scarf or neck tie covering your eyes or it could be a blindfold that you purchase that is perhaps made of leather or can be securely tied around your head so it does not slip off during play. Safe words can be helpful when using blindfolds so you know when to relieve your partner.

10. Cock rings

Cock rings can be used to prolong a male-bodied person’s erection during play time; they can be made out of plastic, silicone or metal. Word to the wise though, be cautious about using cock rings the first few times as some of them may be challenging to take off, depending on the materials used.

Now that you have a little bit of background information about sex toys, go out and try some of these on yourself! You can make your own sex toys using simple products at home (like tying up your partner with a neck tie or a scarf; safely and consensually of course), go to your closest sex toy shop to explore in person or purchase toys online. Once you have brought your toys home, be sure to take good care of them: wash them after each use and store them in a safe, dry area. Do be extra careful and make sure that silicone toys aren’t stored with other silicone toys or lube as these may ruin the toys and you definitely would not like that to happen. Now, go have fun!


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Nicole Nelson

A queer, non-monogamous, vegetarian, feminist. Nicole is currently a practicing clinical social worker doing family therapy with a focus on couples therapy and LGBTQ issues. Nicole has worked in the fields of gender and sexuality for the past four years through her academic career and started out in the field at the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Rhode Island. Nicole is also a part of the LGBTQ Domestic Violence Coalition in Boston, MA. She continues to grapple with sexuality goodness through her outreach and freelance work.

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