For millions of women over thousands of years, the G-Spot has been a place of vast and dependable pleasure and the source of “Squirting Orgasms.” The G-Spot is an area of profound importance in women’s erotic anatomy. Yet for many women and their lovers, the G-Spot is a big mystery. I am often asked, “Why isn’t it sensitive?” or “Why doesn’t it work?”
One answer is that the G-Spot is typically the last area to develop sensitivity in a woman’s arc of arousal. Expanded juiciness requires more stimulation, more varied stimulation, and more time. I suggest that exploration of a woman’s vagina be undertaken only after an extended period of external stimulation. Start slowly and take half an hour or more to engage all the erectile tissues of the clitoral complex. You can use a vibrator to ramp up arousal. Enjoy watching how she pleasures herself. It is best if a woman enjoys one or two orgasms from external stimulation before venturing to explore her inner world.
When she is ready, and you begin to touch her inside, continue to stimulate the external clitoris with your other hand, or a vibrator. Or encourage her to pleasure herself externally, while you focus on internal stimulation.
The G-Spot is misnamed because it is not a single “spot.” It is a cone of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra. The beginnings of the G-Spot tissue are often visible at the entry to the vagina. The G-Spot can be touched by pressing gently up towards the pubic bone from within the vagina. With a well-lubricated finger, you will be able to feel the cone of tissue that surrounds the urethra, 1–3 inches into the vagina. Caress and feel the tissue of the urethral sponge; feel along either side and massage the top.
Follow the guidance of the woman receiving as you explore her inner world. Different women have different urethral sponge shapes and different areas of maximum sensitivity. For many women, the whole urethral sponge is pleasurable and there is no need to focus on one spot. Some women feel the most electrical charge on a specific spot. The type, pressure and speed of touch that feels good will change as her arousal rises and falls. She might have different sensitivities on different days and at different times of her monthly cycle. Different women are enervated differently too. Some women can readily enjoy internal stimulation. But for many more women, the joys of internal stimulation need to be learned and practiced. By combining G-Spot touch with ongoing stimulation of the clitoral glans, you will multiply her feelings of pleasure and educate her nerves into a new state of awareness and sensitivity.
Rather than using an “in and out” motion to massage the G-Spot, experiment with a pulsing motion, pressing up and down into the tissue. Try a making a “come hither” motion with your finger. If she seems to be enjoying one finger, ask her if two fingers would feel better. Be sure to keep adding more lubricant to avoid discomfort. At higher levels of arousal, reaching up high into the vagina and pressing back into the pubic bone very firmly can be pleasurable for some women. Ask if faster or slower would feel better. Ask if she would like more or less pressure. Try a G-Spot vibrator. Follow her pleasure, without an agenda, enjoying the journey. Eventually you will find your way to Squirting Orgasms.
When a woman is aroused and her G-Spot is properly stimulated in a way that is very pleasurable to her, the tissue becomes engorged with prostatic fluid. But in order to squirt that fluid out, women have to give themselves permission—both to experience a very high level of sexual excitement and to make a big mess. Make sure that you celebrate passion and messiness! Notice and comment on the colour, shape, smell, taste, puffiness and wetness of her vulva. Let her know that you love any and all signs of her arousal. Tell her it’s okay to pee. Use a towel or a chuck to create a place of permission.
To explore Squirting Orgasms the woman will also need to be well hydrated. She can be encouraged to drink lots of water, and also to pee right before the massage, so she will be reassured that her bladder is empty. When the G-Spot is highly stimulated and engorged, and sexual energy is high, she may feel that she has to pee. Invite her to go with that feeling, allow it, and focus on it while you continue to stimulate the G-Spot and the clitoral glans. If you feel a gush of fluid, that’s it! She’s had a G-Spot orgasm. It may not feel especially pleasurable at first. It doesn’t feel like a clitoral orgasm. It takes practice to tune in to the subtler pleasures of a G-Spot orgasm. Also, don’t expect the huge gush of fluid seen in the diagram here, or in porn movies. Such fountains are rare and take lots of practice. When exploring Squirting Orgasms, celebrate very modest gushes of ejaculatory fluid.
After you feel the gush of fluid, take a little break from high levels of stimulation. Stay connected and keep touching her vulva, though more gently. In a few minutes, you will likely feel the urethral sponge refill. If you keep going, she will likely have more ejaculatory orgasms. Ejaculation does not mean an end to engorgement for women. If she feels a regular clitoral orgasm coming on, guide her to bear down and push it out with a roar. Suggest that she gives birth to her orgasm! Tell her she should pee right there if she needs to. Let the waters flow! In this way she can learn to have a blended orgasm that combines clitoral orgasm and G-Spot orgasm with ejaculation. Ejaculatory fluid smells clean and earthy, not like pee, and the smell can vary with the diet or menstrual cycle. Described by the ancients as “Amrita,” female ejaculate is the life-giving “Nectar of the gods.”
Notice that sometimes a woman can “injaculate” and push the ejaculatory fluid back into her bladder. If she has to pee right after erotic stimulation, this is probably what happened. See if it helps her ejaculate outwards if you bend your hand or toy away from blocking the urethra when she bears down. The G-Spot can be numb or painful to touch. Many women have learned to desensitize themselves due to penetration before adequate arousal and with insufficient lubrication. A woman will suffer micro-tears in this tissue anytime she is penetrated before she is ready. Childbirth and abdominal surgery can also result in scar tissue that makes G-Spot stimulation hurt. If a woman is experiencing numbness or pain, I always encourage her to spend many hours receiving gentle G-Spot massage. It may take several months or more than a year of regular G-Spot massage to help women discover the pleasure potential of the G-Spot. G-Spot massage is an important way to heal and awaken the inner vaginal environment. In a non-demand situation, directed by the receiver, women can learn to deeply experience all the feelings of grief, joy and electric pleasure that the G-Spot can hold.
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