Hi, my name is Gloria, was born in Hong Kong, and raised in Canada since 1995.
Have you always had an interest in fashion since you were a child?
To be honest, I didn’t get to choose what to wear when I was a kid but I started to be interested in fashion in high school and had always been up with the trend.
What inspired you to start your website and brand?
It was the people around me who believe in me and told me that I should start since I’m so passionate about what I do.
Are there any quotes or mottos you like to use?
Omg… I got so many. Let me tell you my top 3 –
Everything happens for a reason.
You’re the creator of your reality.
What you think, you become.
If you could time travel, what will you like to witness?
I am a little bit of a control freak so I definitely would love to see the future me.
How is a typical day like for yourself?
After I wake up, the first thing I check would definitely be Instagram, then my stocks and emails. I walk my boys (Alaskan Klee Kai) 2 times a day, feed them and then usually run errands or get any appointments done during the day before traffic hits and then spend usually 1.5 hr to 2 hrs on my work out. I work from home so I spend usually few hours on the computer and see clients if I need to.
On a scale of 1-10, how much of an adventurer are you?
I wouod say I’m a 7.
Does chivalry still exist today?
I don’t think so. Lol.
Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions Gloria. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?
Can I say “me” haahaaa.
Well, I think sexy means confident to me. Is how you carry yourself. If you’re truly confident about yourself, everyone around you could sense it.
Well on a personal note, I absolutely love being a companion, what could be better then rocking up to a hotel in sexy lingerie, sipping champagne and having amazing sex with fascinating people?
On a political note, I find it incredibly liberating for women to be able to make the sort of money often reserved for men only in our society. As a professional contemporary and ballet dancer, it is seriously hard to make money doing meaningful art in London. Often the top companies being unable to pay more than £30,000 a year for highly skilled dancers. These are the TOP companies…. you can only imagine what the smaller ones pay.
Doing escorting means I have the safety net to allow myself to take on more interesting performance projects and that means the world to me. It has also funded me through my recent masters degree and will fund me for my PhD also.
The Sex Work Industry In London
It’s wonderful really. Everything is legal which means it’s totally safe for both the ladies and the clients. Equally, London is so big and so anonymous that you won’t bump into anyone you know while on a date with a lady.
And the food……my god, the food in London is spectacular. So many amazing places to go no matter what sort of niche you’re into. It’s perfect for a great night out.
What Makes Me An Ideal Companion
I’m super light hearted, and an eternal optimist. I love to laugh and smile but am also a great listener and can go deep into any conversation, no holding back if you want to go philosophical. I’m intelligent and educated, making me great to meet your work collegues etc. I know how to be discreet while still looking fabulous on your arm.
Equally, my body is toned and bendy from my dancing career and willing to please your every desire. Finally….I’m a base line perv and love getting naughty with fun people. I absolutely love this work.
How To Spend Your Time In London With Me
Oh wow I guess this is a Covid specific question…it depends what is open. I would say during Covid, an overnight or dinner date is best so we have time to chat and flirt and go a bit deeper and more meaningful in our interactions.
On a normal day, I would say 24 hours is always super fun….here is a good list of activities and day plan –
12.00 Meet at the hotel (Perhaps The Corinthia, The Shard, The Exhibitionist).
13.00 Couples massages at a local spa, or perhaps a matinee show of one of London’s amazing theatres.
14.30 Lunch and time for a good flirt, perhaps afternoon tea at The Ritz or The Ivy.
16.00 Now that we know each other well, back to the bedroom for several hours of lust, lots of time to really explore each others bodies and get naughty.
20.00 Dinner
21.30 An after dinner cocktail (somewhere with music always a benefit).
22.00 Back to the hotel for more earthly pleasures….perhaps a sensual bath after and before bed to finish the evening.
Following morning…
Lounge around in bed, room service for breakfast, more naughty fun until 12.00. Equally if you have any last minute shopping you need to do I would be happy to escort you.
What You Should Know Before Our Meeting
Firstly, be humble and gentleman like in your correspondence. A one line email that says; “Fuck you’re hot, where are you?”, or relentlessly calling and texting when we are unable to answer will stress us out.
Email or text, introduce yourself properly. Tell us clearly when/where/for how long you would like to meet. If she cannot accommodate those times, you can discuss from there. You can enquire about services you desire (don’t be rude or demanding if the lady does not do something you want and respect her personal boundaries). You can also request certain outfits you like from her website or let her surprise you.
If you’re nervous or it’s your first time, you can let her know and she can help you be more at ease and enjoy the process (equally if you’re not ready, don’t push yourself to do anything)
Most importantly, you will need to either give a reference (from another lady you have seen). If it’s your first time and you do not have a reference, we ask for a photo I.D or a linked in page…after which that lady can be your reference for other ladies. This process is for our safety only. We will not research you or give your details to anyone else, our business is about discretion. This screening element of the process is non negotiable for all ladies and must be respected.
Before you arrive, you’re welcome to grab a bottle of your favourite tipple to enjoy on the meeting and help you loosen up if you need it. Equally, any girl I have ever met has always appreciated a generous client who brings a little gift (flowers, chocolates, perfume, lingerie, shoes….etc.)
Correct Behaviour Etiquette While Together
We appreciate you to be on time, be clean, be respectful….I repeat….be clean gentlemen. Those 10 year old boxers with no breathing capacity will not impress us and I would hope you wouldn’t wear them on a ‘normal’ date.
Other than that, just enjoy and have fun. Tell us about yourself (as much as you’re comfortable with), because we will love getting to know you….we are fundamentally people lovers. Tell us all your silly jokes, tell us all your desires, let us please you in every way we can. That’s what we are here for and we love it boys!
Margot Alderton – I’m a young and joyful personality with a seriously sexy adventurous side and a curiosity for new experiences. I love meeting new people, going out to shows and partying or just staying in and having a bath and wine. As a professionally trained dancer in ballet and contemporary dance (my real job), I love art, music and all the other great aspects of living in London. If you need any advice on great things to do I know my way around this great city as well as I know my way around the bedroom.
My petite and sensual figure will grab your attention and my bright blue eyes are sure to keep it. Perfect for anyone who likes a natural girl, I’m graceful and elegant. Having been trained professionally in dance, my body is as flexible as your imagination. However, that doesn’t mean I lack in intellect, Im a wide reader and hold a BA and MA, meaning I can keep up with the best in conversation. Im a great listener and can make you feel at ease, whether its getting to know each other at the beginning or exploring deeper secrets further on.
My dynamic personality means I’m perfect for high profile events and long stays out of town. I love discovering new places and my range of interests and zest for life makes me a perfect travelling companion whose sure to hold your attention.
I’m From Poland, exactly from one of the biggest cities In my country – Krakow 🙂
Where do you get your fashion inspiration from?
My fashion inspiration I get is from my job. Working as a model introduced me to the fashion world every day, letting me discover new trends during the shootings with brands or designers.
Do you have any favorite quotes or mottos you like to use?
My whole life I was trying to find the best quote for myself and finally having already had big life experiences, I can easily say that “use your life as much as u can” and “do whatever makes you happy” are my mottos which provides my future.
What if your proudest achievement so far?
My proudest achievement is my son, he gives me so much strength and showed me that no possibilities can get closed after having a baby, and actually all possibilities get even more opened.
Thanks to him I’ve discovered myself and realized that I’m much stronger than I thought and coming back to the shape and working as a model after labour was very possible.
On a scale of 1-10, how much of a foodie are you?
Definitely a 10! I love food as much as I love to sleep!
Unfortunately I can’t eat as much as I want to be a model, and same with sleeping, because my son loves to be awake at night, haha 🙂
What have you always wanted to do but have yet to find the time for it?
There’s no time barriers for me. I will always find time for what I put as my purpose, can say that I’ve always wanted to live in an exotic country and the only thing that stops me from that is the wrong time right now, and I’m sure when the time passes, I will be able to move.
If you could have a super power, what will it be?
If I would have a super power, I would definitely look into peoples’ minds, as I’m always thinking what a person has inside their mind and if they’re are true intentions.
What turns you off on a date?
That’s actually a good question. What turns me Off on a date is when the man is boring. I like it when I’m teased a little bit. And love to be excited about the person I’m dating.
Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions Magdalena. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?
We all know what BDSM means by the book (Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism).
My personal view on Kink and BDSM: It is about erotic thrills such as bondage, spanking using different implements, explore and experiment with some type of rough or painful play to enhance sexual pleasure and intensify orgasms.
What’s more important in BDSM is it is not only pain and pleasure, the dynamic of power play also plays an important role, it is not only the physical thing but also the mental and emotional aspect as well.
What Is Medical Fetish?
Medical Fetish comes in different varieties and different levels, from sexual attraction to doctors and nurses, medical uniforms to realistic physical play including surgical procedures, anesthesia and intimate physical examinations such as gynaecological examination and rectal examination.
I was a manual therapist and worked for physiotherapists for many years, my ability to understand the structure and function of the human body gives me an advantage to explore medical fetishism and how to eroticize them.
Reasons Subs Love Medical Play
Most of them are curious about what medical play is. Some of them are seeking another type of pain, that means they are into pain but not from corporal punishment, they are not into beating but something intense but less impactful i.e. needles, cutting, electro torture.
A Typical Medical Play Session
Most sessions start with body examination and restraint, sometimes with a gag and blindfold. If the session involves catheterization, deep sounding (to the bladder) and breath control, I need to be able to communicate with my client so there will be no gagging.
My favorite tools and/or equipment are: urethral sounds, catheters, needles, E-Stim, anal stretcher, and speculums.
What To Expect Before Trying Medical Feitsh Play For The First Time
First make a list of what you want to experience and research/understand what is involved. Then research the Domme who can provide the service. There is a difference between medical play and medical “roleplay”, make sure the Domme can provide what you want. Ask questions, and be polite.
You don’t have to go for everything if you are not sure. Book an introductory session and try out whatever is on your list. If you don’t like it, just be honest and use your safe word, do not force yourself to accept it, this is not what medical play is all about.
Madame Li Ying – I am well known as a professional dominatrix specialising in medical fetish. My play style varies according to whom I am playing with. I am energetic, strict, playful and wickedly sadistic. I am very hands on, very assertive in every day life and I will use My Feminine powers against you to move you to My liking. When I give command I expect it to be obeyed.
I can be intimidating but being naturally intuitive I will also make you feel safe in your submission to Me. I will bring you to a place where you have secretly longed to be, make you completely surrendered, under My complete control.
Hi to all the readers, I am Penthesilea, I’m 34 years old and I live in Amsterdam. I’m a model and the founder of my own cosmetic brand.
What do you love most about modeling?
I like the traveling, meeting new people and I love the beautiful pictures of myself.
Is there any genre of modeling you specialize or prefer to do more than others?
I specialize in lingerie.
Do you follow a regular beauty or exercise regime?
To be honest I get this question a lot, but I have to say I don’t do anything special. I don’t exercise or follow a certain diet or beauty routine. I think less is more.
How will you describe a typical day like for yourself?
It really depends. I have 2-3 photoshoots per week. Besides photoshoots, I handle orders from Be Glamourous two times a week.
Is there a place or city you have always wanted to travel to for a holiday?
I really want to go to the Bahamas to swim with pigs.
If you could have a superpower, what will it be?
I really want to be invisible, so I can spy on everyone 🙂
What is a funny or lame attempt a guy has tried to know you?
There are so many lame attempts, I think men shouldn’t try so hard. Just be yourself.
Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions Elvira. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?
For me “sexy” is not a certain appearance of clothes. I think sexy is when a man or woman is totally authentic, when they don’t try too hard, to be confident, honest and well mannered.
I first started having kinky fantasies when I was a very young girl. At first, I was very guilty and thought I was weird because back then, none of my friends talk or share about such things. It was only much later and in recent times that I discovered that there were others who were kinky and there was even a community where people congregated.
That made me feel a lot better about myself and excited to know that there were actually others into what I enjoyed. This meant that I was able to hang out in a space with like minded people and truly be myself and what I am, instead of always having to skirt around my kinks with vanilla friends.
What I Love About Pegging
Pegging is essentially anal sex reversed – instead of a male penis in a woman’s ass, the woman wears a strap-on and fucks the male’s ass. I’ve always been fascinated with the power exchange aspect of D/s. In the same way, pegging is a means for me to induce power exchange when traditional gender roles during sex are reversed.
The act of penetrating a man is not only fun but mentally arousing for me – making me feel powerful, strong and pushes me into a very dominant headspace. Not to mention, all that hip thrusting doubles up as a real good cardio workout!
Reasons Subs Enjoy Being Pegged
Most subs who come to me for pegging want to experience submission by having their most vulnerable and private areas violated. Some enjoy being emasculated through anal sex and also request to incorporate this with some form of sissy play.
Others are more experienced and have already embarked on their own anal exploration and just want their male G-spot to be stimulated. I must say though, it is exceptionally enjoyable when subs come to me knowing that I love pegging and they want to please me by offering their holes to me.
My Domination Style
Being safe, sane and consensual is what all my clients can expect from me. My style of domination is sensual yet firm – think of that sexy colleague that caught your eye at the office pantry, who turns out to be the no-nonsense manager on your team. As the person in charge, I take the effort to do my own research about the kink and find my own practice before I involve my subs.
I believe that communication is key to any successful session – I always engage potential subs before any session, find out if they have prior anal experience and structure an appropriate scene tailored for the sub to explore pegging based on their context. For example, if a sub were to tell me that they have not tried any anal play before, I would recommend basic anal training before jumping into a full on pegging session.
What To Expect In My Pegging Sessions
Well, just like any good sexual encounter, my typical pegging session starts with building up sexual tension between me and my sub. It could be anything from dirty talk to tease and denial – getting the sub aroused and relaxed is rather key to making penetration enjoyable and easier later in the session.
I personally use the strap-on harness from SpareParts – it is super comfortable, adjustable and looks super sick. The harness can accommodate a variety of dildos, giving me the versatility to meet my client’s needs. Unless you’re a size queen, I always start with my smallest dildo and am very generous with lube! So, don’t worry, I’m not going to tear you a new asshole on our first date. 😉
Pegging Tips For First Timers
As with trying anything new, go in with an open mind. You might like it or you might hate it, but it is always important to try, especially with someone who knows what they are doing. Besides reading up, I would recommend all aspiring clients to also try and explore your own body before hand – stick a finger or a small plug up your ass first and see how that feels for you.
Cleaning out before the session can also help make the entire process more enjoyable for all parties – less fear or shame from any potential mess or bad smells. End of the day, if you’ve been toying with the idea of getting pegged, feel free to drop me a message and I will be more than happy to take you down this delicious rabbit hole.
Mistress Haze – A tall and athletic dominatrix based in Singapore that is passionate about creating fun and exciting scenes. She enjoys turning confident and assertive men into soft putty, bending them to her sensually deviant brand of kink.
Hi there! Of course, thank you for having me be a part of your magazine! I’m originally from Indiana; I relocated to Sarasota, Florida about 10 years ago. I currently work in Human Resources during the day, and at night, am a competitive Latin ballroom dancer and internationally published model.
I’ve been published in several online and print magazines, and specialize in fashion editorials, glamour, dance/yoga, and boudoir. I also teach Zumba and yoga. Outside of work I enjoy playing the piano, traveling, and going on adventures like shark diving or skydiving!
What is a typical day like for yourself?
I like to start my days early because I have the most energy in the mornings. I usually get up around 5am and start my day with meditation, affirmations, reading and journaling. I typically have a very full schedule, so this quiet time in the morning is very important for me to get my mind right for the day.
After my “self-development” time, I like to get a workout in before work, so I usually go to Pure Barre or do some yoga or jogging. I then have a full day at my 9-5. After work, I will typically run straight to a shoot or to dance practice at my studio! I try to schedule at least one or two days a week that are just for me in the evening, but overall I love to stay busy, especially when I’m focused only on opportunities that I love and am passionate about!
Did being a dancer make it easier for you to go into modeling?
Absolutely! I’ve also had several photographers tell me they’ve had better shoots with dancers than professional models! Dancers tend to be very aware of their bodies and which angles look best on them, which is pertinent at a shoot.
Personally, dance has helped increase my confidence tremendously, which was one of the biggest factors in getting back in front of the camera after taking several years off.
How do you juggle everything you do and find time for yourself?
The most important thing for me is to stay in tune with my emotions and accept only the opportunities I feel completely aligned with and excited by. If I can feel myself getting drained, I won’t schedule as many shoots for a couple weeks in order to rest and restore my passion in what I’m doing.
I am very fortunate to be able to live a life full of what I love, but too much of anything is never a good thing and can actually cause anxiety if you don’t purposely schedule in your “me time”. Good nutrition, daily exercise, taking vitamins and supplements, daily self-development and getting proper sleep are the keys to keeping my mindset right.
What will you like to learn or take up if you had the chance?
I’ve always been fascinated by contortion and getting your body to move in ways that are “unnatural” for the average person. I study and practice in my free time but would love to be able to dive more in depth with it at some point! That along with fire-hooping! I hoop in my free time but have never worked up the courage to take it to the next level with a fire hoop! Maybe in 2021 😉
If you could have a superpower, what will it be and why?
Omnilingualism – The ability to learn and speak any language instantly. I am absolutely fascinated by other cultures and love to travel so I think it would be awesome to be able to communicate with anyone across the globe. I’ve studied Spanish since middle school and my goal is to be bilingual at some point.
Even with years and years of experience, I find myself constantly pausing while speaking to figure out how to properly conjugate verbs in the correct tense. It would be awesome to be able to do this in any language without a second thought!
Which flavor best describes you?
HAHAHA I love that question. I think I’m a jalapeño because I like to keep things spicy and interesting. And just like a jalapeño, sometimes I’m spicier on certain days, you just never know what you’re gonna get hahaha.
Do you have any quotes or mottos you like to use regularly?
Yes I have a ton of favorite quotes and affirmations that I post on sticky notes all over my house and car because I truly believe your mindset is the most important thing to take care of! Some of my favorites are:
“What you appreciate, appreciates.”
“You are as happy as you decide you want to be!”
“What you focus on, you create more of.”
“If the only prayer you ever said was ‘thank you’, it would be more than enough.”
I love these ones in particular because they are little reminders that you are in control of your thoughts, beliefs and emotions, and the biggest key to pulling yourself out of a negative place is by finding gratitude for everything you do have.
Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions Amy. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?
I define sexy as really knowing and learning to love who you truly are. Oftentimes this goes against what is trending mainstream, but I think it’s so sexy when someone can embrace their love for anime or checkers or whatever random hobbies they have that sets their soul on fire. It’s what makes a person them!
I also think having goals and ambition is sexy. So many people are content working a 9-5 they’re not passionate about and numbing themselves with food, alcohol or TV every evening until bedtime. They then repeat that for 40 years.
I don’t know about you, but I want more than that and I think it’s really sexy when other people are driven to really live life to the fullest whether it’s with entrepreneurship, a career they’re passionate about, a hobby, travel, starting a family, etc. Living their truth.
I enjoy being tied up by people I have an attraction to. This attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual in nature, but there has to be interest (from both sides) in being close and intimate with each other. So for me, I don’t really seek out to be tied by people who tie specific styles of Kinbaku; rather, I seek out specific people who I am interested in exploring our relationship together, whatever that relationship might be. Sometimes I am driven by lust, sometimes I like the way a person moves, sometimes it is somebody I would like to get to know better (like a close friend of a close friend), and sometimes it is to realize a deep friendship.
That all being said, I do think there is a correlation between the people I am attracted to and the kind of rope they happen to do. I would say that I am a fairly intense and extreme person; in my Kinbaku exploration I have discovered how much I love to suffer (physically and mentally) and how much I love to be objectified… and as a former competitive athlete in sports that require intensive endurance training, I also find that my physical body craves to be pushed to a limit that it has been trained to be hard to reach. With these desires along with my personality, I naturally find myself tying with people who work a lot with the body, movement, suffering, and objectification. And often these people all kind of hover in the same circles, like-minded attracting like-minded. To name a few riggers I have had the pleasure to get to know through ropes and I think reflect what I am attracted to in ropes: Nicolas Yoroï, Kristina Marlen, Alex Nawa_Ronin, Felix Ruckert, Tamandua, Butterfly Bondage, and Pauline Massimo. These people and their way of tying speaks to me in ways that words cannot quite describe and I feel very lucky to have been able to meet them on a deep level both in and out of the ropes. Certainly, they have played a huge role in my development as a person who is tied. I also need to mention a rigger who I have not tied with but who has been an inspiration for me since the beginning of my rope journey, and that is Akira Naka. I have always been drawn to the beautiful, romantic suffering that is portrayed by him in my eyes.
There are also a few rope bottoms that I am inspired by, and I would like to mention Natasha Nawataneko in particular. We have known each other since I first started rope bondage and in so many ways we have accompanied each other on our journeys in rope bondage. She is one of the wisest and most genuine people I know, and these qualities poor from her soul when she speaks, breaks, and is being tied. I am totally inspired by her and her constant ability to stay honest and present with what is going on insider of herself while still remaining a considerate and generous human being. Being around such inspiring rope bottoms as Natasha certainly affect how I am tied and the experiences I invite into a rope bondage scene.
So, yes bondage is not about styles or collecting experiences. It is about people. And I like the style of the people I am interested in tying with, on either side of the rope. And often that style as more to do with the way they move and how they are as a person, and how we attract each other, rather than anything to do with the ropes themselves.
Photo and rope by Pauline Massimo
What You Should Know Before Trying Out Rope Bondage
I would say that they should spend time thinking about the why. Why do you want to do rope bondage? You might want to do it because you saw a pretty photo on the internet and it inspired you. It might be because you have been having fantasies about being tied up for a long time and you would like to finally try it out, or you might have absolutely no idea! But there is something about it that makes you curious. There is no right or wrong answer. But it is good to constantly evaluate this question (and the answer might keep changing, or be totally different depending on who you are tying with and what you want to do).
I think it is important to constantly evaluate this question because it will help you to better find the rope bondage experience you are looking for with a person who best matches your intention. If you are not interested in doing rope for sexual reasons, then it is best to recognize that and seek a partner whose intention matches yours… because how awful would it be to start doing rope with somebody whose intention was to be sexual when that is not what you want! No matter how good of a person you both might be, it likely would end up in an unpleasant situation to say the least, for both parties involved. When we can be honest with ourselves and our own desires we can do a better job of taking ownership for our own experiences and making sure they are what we want to have. This can apply to everything from finding rope partners, teachers, and spaces that feel good for you and help lift you up and make you feel comfortable enough to dare to be dangerous.
I would also strongly recommend people who are interested in learning to tie or be tied to seek out guidance in person. Online material can be a great sub-element for your learning and development, but it does not provide you with the important nuances that come with learning a practice that is kinetic. Seeing how the rope can affect another, having somebody there to guide you and explain how it could work for you and your body, and provide a safety net… all in person… is invaluable. Humans understand the emotional and reactions of other humans best in person. And this is exactly what rope is about. We need living examples, and meeting others who share such an edgy interest in person help us to build a network of people we can relay on and gain experience from… and furthermore can serve as a safety net we can lean on when we need others who understand to talk to about our experiences and make sure we are all safely being dangerous together.
Lastly, I would also like to emphasize that there is skill and development in being tied. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the rigger who magically creates an experience for the rope bottom to enjoy. It takes two to tango, as we say in English. We create an experience together. A dynamic. A scene. And both parties need to be present and aware of their own bodies, reactions, and feelings. There are not just things that a rigger should learn; there is also so much out there to learn for somebody to would like to be tied. Go to bottoming workshops, talk to other bottoms about their experiences, and find perspectives and techniques that work for you. Invest in yourself, and in the people who you would like to be tied by. If you come into a session expecting to be served an experience, then perhaps rope bondage is actually not for you, because if you aren’t willing to put energy, presence, and responsibility into a session then you are not doing your part in contributing to a mutually safe and rewarding experience for you or your partner.
Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.
I don’t really think I am someone who is a fashion role model… I just wanna dress something comforting for me when I go out. I don’t dress up till the point where I’m always going out for an event…I just wear T-shirt n shorts.
Wearing Season Collector Earrings
Do you have any hobbies or interests?
Yes I do! My hobbies is my beauty line, singing, gaming but recently due to COVID-19 I started baking!! Oh well it turns out I love baking !!!
Which is a memorable or unforgettable travel experience you have had?
I think every travel experience was all memorable. Maybe on my 21st birthday the trip was kinda bad… Due to lots of misunderstanding with my best friend…oh well, I don’t wanna spill too much.
Cosplaying as Demon Slayer Nezuko
Is there a must do/buy for you whenever you visit a new city or country?
Whenever I go to a new city/country, I will definitely go to the convenient store to check out what candies they have. What’s even better is spotting cute snow globes! I love collecting them for home.
If you could learn anything in this world, what will it be?
If I can learn something…I hope I can learn about humans…I guess humans are really hard to understand sometimes.
Went to a Singapore bubble tea event
Have you been in an embarrassing situation before that is funny now when looking back?
The only embarrassing situation I recall was me walking down the stairs with my best friend.
While walking, I suddenly fell off not knowing why my legs turned jelly XD. We all had a great laugh, not gonna lie.
My very first Tiktok event invitation
What is the funny or lame attempt a guy has tried to know you?
Due to Covid, there are more Covid pick up lines and I’m like “WHATTTT” basically a guy told me, “With the world under Covid-19 right now, many people are getting sick. But I will never get sick of looking at you”
Currently helping a friend of mine on her hair competition for Loreal. As I was a model! It will be great if viewers can like this video for me before 30 Oct 2020 ends. Here is the link to the video https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1309705519369105 Thank you.
Hair modelling for a friend competition held by L’Oréal Professionnel
Helping my another friend for her online business selling accessories such as earrings, necklaces and bracelets. Do check out her Instagram https://www.instagram.com/seasonscollector
I would say almost every aspect of my life could be considered a practice in alternative lifestyles. I live in a cooperative: a house where everything is done cooperatively among all of its residence, from expenses to cooking to social gathering, everything is shared. I live a non-monogamous lifestyle, where the relationship agreements I make with others do not limit sexuality to be exclusively shared with one individual.
I love BDSM, and especially rope bondage, as a lifestyle; most of my close friends and relationships in general have been formed through BDSM and I spend the majority of my free time reading, speaking, teaching, learning, and going to events around BDSM and specifically rope bondage.
I also identify as genderqueer and have been “out of the closet” since I was in middle school; I even helped to organize the ‘Gay-Straight Alliance” when I was in middle school where we fronted the “Day of Silence” protest among other events. As well, I am also a huge sci-fi geek who dreams of cosplaying their favorite characters, and I am mathematician by training! Without a doubt, I love all facets of kink and alternative lifestyles. I have never been a person who has taken kindly to being told how I should be and what I should do. I don’t necessarily believe that everything mainstream is bad!
But I do believe that everybody should be able to explore freely for themselves who they are and what they like, and to be able to do that without fear or exclusion from society. I think judgements about how one should be do not just come from mainstream society… how many times have I been told I am “more queer” when my hair is short? Or that a real feminist cannot be submissive? Or that my rope is not “Japanese enough”? Why should we listen and be shaped by such voices? Voices that oppress me? I think I make it my life mission to say “NO” to such voices.
For me, it does not matter where such voices comes from, they are still boxes formed by judgements that tell me I must be a certain way or I cannot be. We should spend our time lifting each other up, especially in alternative cultures; we are fighting for our freedom to be ourselves – making war has casualties. And when we are few, those casualties can mean extinction. There is room for us all to be kinky and weird. Let’s not let the illusions of money, fame, and capitalism make us forget that.
Photo and rope by Nicolas Yoroï
How My Interest In Kinbaku Started
It’s a cute story, I think, about how I discovered Kinbaku. In the summer of 2014, a close friend of mine had returned from her first Nowhere Festival in Spain (a festival inspired by the Burning Man Festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert). As soon as I saw her to receive all her stories about her experiences, she began to tell me about a love affair she had with an Italian guy there, who swept her away by tying her up in his tent. And how she was so taken by this experience that she decided to go to Italy to visit him and to take some rope bondage lessons with him.
She then proceeded to ask me if I would take a beginner’s course with her in Berlin, where we both lived, as soon as she was back from Italy. And as you might expect from somebody who grew up in San Francisco followed by Berlin, my answer was a very unbothered “sure”. Since I was young I was always aware of my perversions. I often fantasized about being watched while I was in the bathroom, or being used by somebody sexually in public locations. I always knew I had a strong desire for submission, to put it generally, but I never really thought about the means to my submission much, such as bondage or pain, for instance. Perhaps they were always there, and sometimes would appear during sex in the bedroom, but never with much awareness.
Living in San Francisco, a city where alternative lifestyles were the norm, kink was always around me; kink.com made up an entire block in the center of the city and it was normal to see people walking around naked in the streets. I remember having to sit down with myself in my early 20s, having to contemplate if polyamory was really for me or if I was merely complying with social norms! So as you could imagine, my perspective on reality was quite non-normative to begin with.
And so kink has been around me casually since the start of my sexual exploration without much effort, and with that as well a lack of interest in really pursuing it as a lifestyle; like never managing to go to the museums in your hometown, kink and bondage just was never something that I really bothered to actively pursue… until the beginner’s course in rope bondage in Berlin!
My friend and I attended a two day beginner’s course hosted by a person named Caritia and her partner at the time, Steven. I had an expectation that I would like to be tied, which was confirmed, but was surprised to find how much I also enjoyed tying! The playfulness, the intimacy, and the creativity my close friend and I were able to share during these two days was inspiring. I loved both sides, but of course my sexual desires really called for me to explore being tied the most! After this workshop I proceeded to go to as many jams and workshops as possible – and the rest is history!
Photo by Shantel Liao, Rope by Butterfly Bondage
Learning Deeper About Rope Bondage
Luckily, living in Berlin, there was a lot going on at the time, especially at a venue formally known as Schwelle7, run by a now dear friend and teacher, Felix Rucket. It was there that I was able to go deep into rope bondage; it also happened to be the place where twice a year some of the most experienced people in rope bondage from all over the Europe would gather to exchange knowledge and, most importantly for me, play together.
At Schwelle7, I was able to form close relationships with people that also involved rope bondage. And of course these relationships did not form over night; they took time and energy. But after years of meeting the same people in what was a small community at that time, and living, moving, breathing together, you become familiar with each other. And relationship dynamics form between everybody. As in any community. And the beauty of this development is incredibly fulfilling, and is what kept me coming back.
If you want more of something in your life, then you need to invest your time and attention. Going to rope bondage and kink workshops, jams, and events gave me knowledge, experience, and community. And not once did I ever think of achieving something, but rather simply investing more in what I want in my life and enjoying every step of the process.
Photo by Zor Neurobashing, Rope by Nawa-Ronin:DiscoverKinbaku
What I Experience While Being Tied Up
This question is both very simple and very complicated. It is simple because I always try my best to always do the same thing when I am being tied: be present in the experience I am having and allow all reactions permission to be expressed exactly as they would like to be expressed. And it is complicated because this is hard to do! And there is absolutely no recipe for doing this, not even for myself! We are all so different from moment to moment; my mood, emotions, and physical fitness are constantly in flux and there is not so much I can actually control, as I see it.
With that, I believe that we all have to constantly work to towards finding our way back to ourselves – what we are feeling, thinking, and reacting. And rope can be extremely confronting in that our physical body is being disturbed and that this can bring out a whole array of emotions that can be hard to predict. Practicing BDSM in general has certainly helped me to bring more awareness to what I am feeling, especially when playing with emotions that I tend to avoid or ignore in the everyday life (like humiliation, shame, or fear).
Sitting with these emotions in a container that is a session, feeling and processing them, and coming out on the other side to see what the world has not ended and the person who has witnessed me in these feelings still cares for me has had a profoundly positive affect on my life.
As well, in terms of my physical body, my background as a ballroom dancer and competitive swimmer has given me a lot of insight that has been easy for me to transfer into my experience in rope bondage. Developing insight into how my body moves in space and feels when pushed has allowed me to cultivate an awareness of what is happening to my body that tells me when it is ok to push and when it is not.
Part 2 to follow…
Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.
