Yes, flirting comes very naturally to me, sometimes it’s even too much and I need to check myself.
I think flirting has to do with self confidence and creativity. It is one of my needs, it’s how I get feedback from the world on how I look like. The feeling that one can be attractive is very important to everyone and in this way, we need to flirt. We all do it even when it’s not conscious, at a job interview for example or a casting for a room or a art project. In my opinion this is flirting as well, I think that making yourself attractive so that people want to work with you or to fuck you is pretty similar.
Since I allowed myself to live my poly amorous and poly sexual life, I feel way better balanced in my long term relationships. I feel like some of my affairs in the past did not work because I did not acknowledge flirting as one of my needs and didn’t make enough space for it.
Flirting requires lots of freedom, you need to have time, and to feel relaxed. If you have the pressure that you’ll have to tell someone everything what happened afterwards, it makes it harder to be present in the moment. If I’m under pressure while flirting, the other person(s) will feel it. I need to have enough room for anything to happen so I can adapt on the situation. If I have a very set plan, it might not fit the other persons needs and wishes and If I don’t adapt, I might end up in some awkward stuff.
Time and space restrictions are not optimal for flirting. But of course, we always have to deal with it, it’s more about being clearly aware of what the restrictions are and how I can adapt to it and knowing my limits so I make sure I drop off if it does not fit. Also, if I have the possibility to put myself in better conditions beforehand, I definitely do it. (Having a good rest before, don’t show up hungry, etc…)
Can Flirting Be Taught?
Yes, definitely!
Flirting, it’s techniques, it’s like everything. You can decide stuff like: I’m not good at cooking or performing or lifting weights. But you can also train and become good at it. I believe we can learn a lot, it’s all about giving yourself the right conditions for it. Of course it also depends on your life conditions, and some folks have it easier.
Misconceptions About Ladies Who Flirt
Ya, fuck that shit! There is a lot of stigma around being sexual as a girl and I think it’s just unhealthy. I try to focus on what feels good to me and not giving space for this shit.
Tips For Ladies To Flirt Successfully
Trust yourself, it’s gonna work!! Because what makes you gorgeous is trusting yourself. It’s not about any kind of body shape, it’s about daring.
If you’re good at taking care of yourself, the more you can be attractive. If you’re in need of support, it’s fine but try not to put it on the folks you’re flirting with, they’ll feel it. When folks feel that you’re grounded and autonomous, it makes you even more hot, believe me. And fake it till you make it!
Ask yourself what you want from this date, are you looking to develop an ongoing thing? Do you wanna aim for a quickie in the toilets or a ONS, more if you make it clear for yourself and more if you’ll be clear at communication and you’ll improve your chances.
Don’t forget to listen to the person, what are their needs and desires? Ask if you’re not sure, and adapt your plan to it (or leave if it does not fit at all).
Thinking of what you don’t want helps as well. Taking flirting as a challenge is fun but don’t forget to check your own boundaries. Pushing yourself can be empowering but if you go too far, it can hurt. That’s the way I test my limits.
Make sure you ask the questions you need to ask so you don’t find yourself awkward after with unclear stuff. I use flirting a lot to negotiate as well, asking is great, and don’t forget to listen the answer though, with excitement it sometimes happen to me. And the questions can be a bit disguised but make sure the basics of your needs are cleared, checking if the person is racist or transphobic, or if there is anything that you know you can’t deal with, check.
Mistakes To Avoid When Flirting
Listening, red flags checking my own boundaries rather than having it as a challenge.
Don’t assume, ask!! Don’t start thinking they’re not into you and don’t start to search the reasons for it!!!!
You’re gorgeous, of course they are into you, or they would have left. They are also flirting in that moment, don’t forget that, they might also be a bit stressed.
You need to be confident and to dare! If you feel that you’re going too far, ask!!! Questions like, “Is that fine with you when I sit like this?” or “I am being too direct?” with a smile, it’s hot!!
Check how they react and listen to their body language as well. Are they getting excited or pissed, then adapt. (Which might mean forgetting this person and trying another one)
Don’t waste your time on folks who are not into the same thing as you are. I stopped dating folks who are not sluts, as it does not bring me anywhere.
Accept you’ll make mistakes and don’t blame yourself too much, like every learning process, you need to fail in order to learn, it’s the way!
Accept that it’s totally okay if somebody is not into you, it does not mean that you’re not sexy or bad at flirting, it just means it was not the right person, don’t take it personally and keep searching. It’s actually better to get a clear no than a vague maybe.
Progressing To The Next Stage
Isn’t flirting already part of the next stage?
Haha, as I said before, I try to include some negotiations into the flirting so that I get inspired. I need to have an idea of what the person is into so I can make proposals.
I have two ways :
Either I make a very clear proposal and start to talk very concretely about what to do or not.
Or I slowly start to get out of the brainy-talky mood to a more physical one. I put my body nearer to them, I gaze longer into their eyes, I subtly start to play with my hair or even caressing my thighs a bit. Whatever feels right in the moment, I have no plan, I try to focus on my body and follow what it wants to do.
Manon Praline – Hard femme and power Bottom, professional camera slut, burlesque stage performer and your private companion for a few hours. Originally French, based in Berlin.
Don’t miss a chance to get under those endless eyelashes, drawn into her unique gaze, feel the wind of her thick curly hair and maybe even slap that juicy ass if you dare to. Her genuine and experimental movement, her radical self love, aliveness and lesbionic vanity will put you under her spell. Allow your whole body and spirit to get activated, the show will be quick and deep!
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