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Tag: Sex worker

  • My Experiences From Sex Work

    My Experiences From Sex Work

    Sex is one of the fundamental elements to the human experience; it is, without question, one of the most intimate and vital aspects of life. The idea of “sex work” is not new, it has been called “the world’s oldest profession” and not without cause. Sex has been utilised as a service and commodity since biblical times.

    Sexuality and the promise of sex has been used by advertisers to pitch sales for everything from vacuum cleaners to cheeseburgers and the trade of actual sex acts for compensation is really no more a moral misstep than featuring a pretty model in a bikini laying across a shiny Corvette at a car show to interest buyers.

    At the end of every argument, for or against sex work, remains the fact that it is a provided service and product for use and consumption just like any other in the free market. And it beats the hell out of a desk job!

    I got started in sex work by answering an ad for “adult models.” I was already working in a gentlemen’s club, so the idea of expanding the arena of adult work was natural. I started nude modeling and soon began working as a Companion/Escort. I am now working in adult film.

    The Experiences I’ve Enjoyed In Sex Work

    What I find amazing about sex work is that there is always a unique aspect to each interaction. A laugh, a smile, a touch…never quite the same despite the fact that the physical acts tend to become “commonplace.” That is not meant to imply that the acts themselves are mechanical or unenjoyable, but only that there is only so much one can feature on a menu!

    I have had a couple of experiences that were special, in a way, each unique to the client. I am a people-pleaser by nature and when I know I have been able to provide something enjoyable to a client I’m pleased, as well. One specific encounter was with an elderly gentleman who was a widower. For him, he enjoyed the company and conversation as much as the physical acts.

    Sex work can often include an emotional need for a client as much as a physical desire. And it is immensely satisfying to make another person feel good!

    Worst Things That Can Happen To A Sex Worker

    One of the worst things that can happen to a sex worker, indeed anyone, really, is assualt. It is a real danger in the realm of the adult industry. Workers do not always have additional security present and independent workers, even when stringently screening potential clients, are at risk because one never truly knows who might be on the other side of the door.

    That is obviously a worst-case-scenario aspect of the work, but another downside is regular clients can often blur the line between professional provider and personal life. This is problematic on various levels. And as in any other job there is the occasional ” rude customer,” the ill-tempered malcontent who either complains, haggles or is just simply mean-spirited.

    The upside to being a sex worker over a typical “employee”, however, is that sex workers can give someone the boot or just Black List them. The girl working a shift at the local coffee house or the customer service desk at a department store does not have that option.

    Strange Requests I’ve Gotten

    Most filming scenarios and client requests have been fairly standard (if there is such a thing in this industry), but I’ve had a few “off color” requests in the past. Foot fetish requests are nothing new, but one gentleman requested the exact shade of polish he wanted my toenails to be painted as well as the color of heels he wanted me to wear.

    Another request was a general Dom/Sub scenario but the client wanted to berate me with names, etc. and have me repeat back to him what he said. It seemed awkward at first, but he enjoyed it. The worst request I ever received actually occurred in my private dating life and was, without doubt, the most uncomfortable and creepy request I’ve ever had. I will not go into grisly detail but divulge that the request involved a “stranger rape” type of scenario (he described a fully developed and detailed fantasy for me); needless to say, I drew my line firmly in the sand and the idea of dating this individual was immediately dismissed, as was he.

    I am all for individuals playing out fantasies, exorcising a dark demon or two, but this situation raised flags for me and I couldn’t help but suspect that the line between role-play and reality was nearly invisible for this person.

    Ava Stark – “Sweet submissive” My secret philosophy…a connoisseur of Scotch, Sass and all things Sensually Sinful!

    Follow Ava on

    Instagram: instagram.com/msavastark

    Twitter: twitter.com/msavastark

    Website coming soon. Also, I just completed filming new scenes. Look for them from eXXXplosive Video!

    Images courtesy of Ava Stark; featured image by Ikon Republik from Pexels

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  • Balancing My Personal Life As A Sex Worker

    Balancing My Personal Life As A Sex Worker

    I think of sex work as a business that builds connections between provider and client. Yes, it can be a good way to make money, but some of the connections can last for a long time. Even the short connections can be beneficial in some way. Everyone needs connections whether physically or mentally, shorter, or on a more regular basis…

    Starting Out Into Sex Work

    I worked as a waitress in a strip club for a short time and decided to dance at amateur night. I enjoyed it and toured quite a bit. I got invited to also work at a massage parlor. I did these two jobs for a few years. The massage parlor eventually changed to an outcall escort service. I stayed and loved it.

    Many of my first clients were from strip clubs or through the service. A client led me to some online forums so I stopped dancing and eventually went out on my own as an independent girlfriend experience. Now I have a regular career but I have still done companionship on the side. It’s a great social outlet for me…like dating with boundaries.

    Does Sex Work Affect Non-Sex Work Relationships?

    It definitely can. Not everyone agrees with it. Most people I meet would never think that it is something I do. For the most part I have kept a great set of friends who couldn’t care less. I am open with everyone about it. Some family members have judgements but they just don’t talk about it and that’s fine. I prefer not to date while doing sex work. I feel that it makes it harder to make connections with my clients. Some guys even have issues and judge you if they know you had done it in the past.

    Separating My Personal & Sex Work Life

    I keep most aspects of sex work separate from my personal life. I book things in advance and have specific days that I market and advertise myself, or do my website and emails, etc. I, of course, have separate email addresses and phone numbers. When I tour I always leave time for me to do other things. I like to see the city and area where I am visiting. Since I have a regular career, I cannot be available for sex work all of the time. My persona is all me though. I keep my same personality and share that with my clients.

    Typical Myths About Sex Work

    I think because of social stigma, people think of sex workers as manipulators who always want or need something from someone. They aren’t all drug addicts or party girls or liars. Many have very typical home lives and take care of families. Many have regular careers or go to school. And many like being in sex work. It’s not some chore they use to only get paid. Most don’t need to be saved.

    What To Know Before Going Into Sex Work

    Treat sex work as a business even if you like it. You can do that and still be nice and personable with clients. Honesty and consistency are important to be good in sex work but you want to keep your personal life separate to avoid sloppiness. Once lines get blurred, it can become messy and stressful.

    Cocos Butter – I am the Midwest Minx. Provocateur, network engineer, foodie,   traveler, tour guide, and all around girlfriend experience who loves to explore. I have a mixture of complicated interests with simple tastes. My regular career takes me around the world and I love to share my experiences! Your imagination is my only limitation!

    Follow Cocos on

    Website: TheRealButter.Net

    Twitter: @CocosButter

    Images courtesy of Cocos Butter

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  • What To Do When Seeing A Courtesan For The First Time

    What To Do When Seeing A Courtesan For The First Time

    At any rate, allow yourself to expand your definition of sex. Relative to my peers, I stumbled late into the party and much preferred to hang out by first-floor windows for less-than-erotic escapes. My early university years proudly presented sex in all its glory. It wasn’t until after I popped my cherry out of much pent-up sexual frustration and making the call on a pricey Brazilian (wax) that I began to draw on what it meant to me to feel desired.

    In allowing myself to first get deeply personal, I found what turned me on increasingly more enjoyable. Teasing neck bites in-between the pillows could cast the same frenzy as holding a hushed conversation inches from a stranger’s ear at the bar, well-wrapped up around their thumb. It won’t be the last time you hear it, but for all my firsts out there, know this: a climax cannot be appreciated without breaking a sweat, working out the kinks of foreplay.

    How Are First Timer Clients Like?

    My first timers are some of the sweetest nuggets out there. They constitute a little less than 15% of my reach who also book. They’re drawn to the playful humour and sly wit they see online and I think show up with just the faintest hope I’ll use it to help quell their nerves in person. They also send the best memes. Hands down.

    I’d be naïve to think I could speak for all companions or sex providers (SPs). I find, however, that my first timers either ask all the questions or none. Experienced patrons can be no different but also include ‘not enough’ despite knowing better, you’d think. Our latter group here is not necessarily immune to mounting nervous energy either. It is, after all, a real date.

    As with any real date, respectful, non-pushy use of language before and/or during this encounter involve understanding that requesting ‘menus’ right off the bat is off-putting to some SPs, including myself. With first timers and experienced patrons alike, I actively work to normalize effectively communicating boundaries to build an initial sense of trust in these sessions. Listening here is the power move. Both groups typically understand consent once raised—at least, in my experience. I cannot emphasize enough that consent is best expressed verbally by all parties involved to not shoot the mood for the evening. For our readers asking, ‘what if…’, I garner that you’re both adults—an email exchanging written confirmation of consensual acts beforehand is a green-light technicality.

    When the door opens, there are a few from both groups that don’t seem to know what to do with themselves and I’m reminded of myself. I find it charming. I’d say I’m quicker now to Shepard’s crook them by the belt holes before they bolt—assuming I’m hosting, of course. Given the sound of room service trolleys fast approaching anywhere, I’ve never been all that slow or shy to lift a few jaws on the walk in. This is only a subtle reminder to have your Do-Not-Disturb signs ready in hand, gents.

    Preparing For Your SP Before She Arrives

    Prep has got to be half the fun. It’s highly likely the SP’s given you a little reading material for the nights you’ve been sitting up in bed, still awake in anticipation.

    Work knocks you out good? Yeah, you can catch their Tweets on your commute to work or in an unassuming corner of the office during your lunch break. The most logical order IMO is starting with the website. Read it proper. If you’re not sold, or just want more than you’d like to admit, hit up the Media section on their Twitter—especially if you’re more of a ‘visuals person’. Then take a moment to check their Likes section to see if they’re still sane enough for you.

    Confirmations—along with a complete form submission—can be very important for many SPs. This may include a deposit, which you’ll have made note of if you’ve read her website (proper). Confirm at least the day before. I would advise against looking to confirm more than twice for any date as unnecessary persistence begins to raise yellow flags.

    If you’re working with a longer date, be considerate and well-prepared to offer them a bite (check for allergies, nutter butt) and glass of water at least. Drink some yourself. While you’re at it, moisturize your lips and tend to all grooming and hygiene needs. A little rinsey rinsey under the sink faucets would be most unwise. Even I’d pray for you. If the SP appears rather vocal online, do yourself a favor and don’t let yourself be sub-tweeted at. Tend twice to any areas you’d like to be appreciated.

    Be mindful to have the compensation ready for them in an envelope or whatever means they’d prefer. Location-wise, it should be in plain sight. You can’t mess this instruction up—it’s my easiest one. Tidy up the place if need be and upon offering to take their coat past the door, kindly also direct their gaze to said patronage along with some direction to the nearest bathroom. I’ll add that this is part of the foreplay I stressed earlier. Though I don’t know you, reader, I do want you to have an amazing time nonetheless. Do as their websites instruct you. Waiting to present their compensation till the end leaves many slightly more reserved in session. The wrap-up at the end is actually a window better suited to tips. On tips, I would say if you have the means to be generous and truly enjoyed your time, prepare this while they’re showering. Even if you’re not tipping, do the decency of giving them the privacy to get ready in there alone. Trust me on this one too. I gargle often and spit facts.

    Though not necessary, try to have a bottle of mouthwash, fresh bath towels and a neutral or relatively less ‘masculine’ smelling body wash available for their use at the end of the date. Your SP will appreciate it and not use your liquid hand soap by the sink. Should you fail to do so, don’t comment on how ingenious [she/they] smells.

    Once The Meet Up Begins…

    You’ve prepared yourself well! Assuming you read most of my last bit. The excitement’s got to be near through the roof at this point, I’ll bet.

    I hope you both have a lovely little or long time together. Don’t know what that entails? Did you plan a theater outing together? Holding hands doing nothing? A couples mani pedi before your kink dungeon date? Snakes and Ladders, maybe? An indoor board game atop a new and *very* doable cuddling position? Or was it erotic wrestling? A home-cooked meal for two? Or season two of some genius Netflix realm while you practise your rope basics? Well, why don’t you ask them…?

    Ways To Ease Nerves For A First Timer

    As if I haven’t been already, this will be a space to be blunt. To engage earnestly with your SP and in more of a wholesome manner at that, do not excessively drink and/or abuse substances to ‘escape’ your nerves prior to your meeting, gentlemen. Even your boss could tell you that. If you’re your own boss, I just did, so have your delusions call my people, if you so must.

    Second, read as much as want about your provider until you think you’re ready. This will still not mean you’re actually ready for whatever you’re expecting. Dates may flow every which way and controlling the stream too firm with expectation is a harder take than necessary; you could guarantee a flop. Be present and trust your SP. True intimacy is rooted in that initial trust.

    Third, I’d like to separate this little bit of advice about trusting yourself. You have no one to be but yourself on this date. Feel no need to overcompensate or tear yourself down. Unless, of course, that’s your kink, then you will need to express this to your SP before the date to not make things awkward. Communicate what space you want or need with your SP verbally. This could mean starting the date seated across/next to each other and draw yourself closer as you feel more comfortable with each smile. Meet anxiety with some eye contact and a little willingness to laugh in the face of it.

    First Timer Etiquette Tips 

    My advice for etiquette lies on and in-between the lines I’ve provided above. Everything said pertaining to hygiene, surrounding misc. preparations, and pre-date exchanges are very important. Be on time but don’t be one to watch the clock, that goes for SPs and patrons alike. Leaving on time is major, too. Overstaying your welcome or holding an SP from having to leave is a faux pas, meaning don’t you dare do it. I would also emphasize making sure to brush up on safe sex practices and communicating with your SP that you understand them.

    Once the date has started, try to keep your reservations at bay and tune into your newest muse. Feel no pressure for anyone to claim to have climaxed two minutes of walking through that door. Most likely, this will be a mutual feeling for your SP. The real takeaway will be in how well the both of you listen to each other during foreplay. Come as your best self. Be ready to be open and/or equally ready to listen. Have fun!

    Léa Rose – Seemingly yet another self-proclaimed high-end companion to the Rose kin, this pun-lovin’, long-limbed lynx reckons you’ll be inquiring more about her writing outlets and phon-atic musings at some point or another. Often tuned into a different frequency having secured her travel bag with a bit of head start than most, she’s a millennial milking every bit of having to stay stagnant living and working in the ever-growing metropolis that is Toronto, ON.

    Follow Léa on

    Website: hellolearose.nl

    Twitter: twitter.com/HelloLeaRose

    Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/HelloLeaRose

    Having successfully just wrapped up her 2020 tours of San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Houston, you can catch Léa shimmying somewhere in Boston, New York City, Las Vegas, Vancouver, Montreal, Ottawa, Edmonton, and Calgary next.

    Images courtesy of Léa Rose

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  • What One Should Know Before Meeting An Escort

    What One Should Know Before Meeting An Escort

    To be honest, when I was just a civie, I never thought I would enter sex work. I never demonized it. I always knew woman were using sex work as a catapult to move up the socioeconomic ladder in society, so I was all for it, but as a career choice I never saw myself becoming a companion. Consequently, myself like most others, associated a stigma with SP’s, Sex work and the industry as whole. There are always questions about sanitation safety, location, how reliable is the money and confidentiality.

    For starters, to burst that bubble of sex workers are “dirty” because we sleep with X amount of men is so untrue. I would say 90% of the sex workers I know including myself  are “safe play only” providers. Which means everything is covered, and there is no bodily fluid contact or exchange. So, on top of offering safe services, we also get tested frequently, evidently because of the career choice we are in. There’s an awesome book to understand the psyche of a sex worker or just to understand the business as a whole called “Thriving In Sex Work, Heartfelt Advice For Staying Sane In The Sex Industry” by Lola Devine. I’m in the process of reading the last two chapters and it’s a good book for both civies and sex workers to get a general grasp of the business.

    Looking back to when I first started, I was very ignorant towards the fact that yes, sex work is a multifaceted rewarding job and SP’s wear many hats between being our own boss. We are also our own marketing team, accountant, web designer, blogger and receptionist/secretary, just to name a few. I personally feel SP’s are true hustlers to the very core and essence. We embody the true saying of “getting to the bag“. I love sex work. It has granted me many opportunities and also the freedom to do what I want, when I want, and has helped me grow individually as a person and as a business women too. Sex work is work and to thrive in this business, you must treat it as such.

    How Do You Screen Clients?

    I love this question. Let me start by saying, the first forms of screening are initiated within first contact. What a lot of potential clients don’t realize is how you present yourself, whether it be through your first text or email to me, I’m analyzing it and can pretty much tell whether or not I want to engage further or even finish reading your text or email. As SP’s we get so, so many texts and emails a day that it becomes very apparent who is a time waster and who genuinely would like to book a rendezvous.

    When you first make that initial contact with a SP, start with a short introduction “Hi my name is ________ , I am _________ . I saw your add on ________ , I would like to book you for ______ hours on __________.” That is good and all that is needed with first contact. After I have received a bit of info on you, it is my pleasure to respond and send you my booking form via email which includes light screening (i.e. two references, photo ID with pertinent info blacked out, work info and an email back from your work email or LinkedIn and a deposit). If a potential client can’t provide all the info, there are ways to work around it as not all methods are required to confirm booking.

    One thing though I would really like clients to understand is we as SP’s don’t know nothing about you. Them on the other hand, if they have done their due diligence, have taken the time to read our websites, visited our social media handles and reviewed our adds, which gives you a better understanding and idea of who we are and what type of provider we are.

    It’s only fair to give us that common courtesy in return. First impressions are everything, make sure to introduce yourself during initial contact.

    Do’s & Don’ts For Clients To Follow

    Yes there are some “ Do’s and Don’ts “

    1. Do be polite. I know I speak for myself and many other SP’s. Don’t just text Avail? at three in the morning. Read our website to know what times we are available at so you can get a faster response. And even if we are available, it doesn’t mean we are ready right now for you to pop up at our incall.
    2. Don’t bombard our phones with multiple back to back texts or emails. If we haven’t responded, chances are we are catching up on texts or emails and will respond to you as soon as possible or you haven’t really peaked our interest to return an email or text back because you haven’t taken the time to introduce yourself.
    3. Do try to send screening info and references promptly. If you are aware that we are the type of provider to screen, provide the info and if you’re mid-comfortable with a providers’ screening method, they are not the provider for you.
    4. Do not haggle or negotiate rates. My rates are firm and are set to that amount for very specific reasons. Trying to lowball me will get you blacklisted.
    5. Do be yourself. There are a lot of nerves involved in the whole process between booking and when our eyes first. Take a deep breath and be present in the moment. This is your time you booked with me. I live for genuine moments so let’s create them.

    What Happens At The Meet Up

    When we first meet, my donation should be the first thing taken care of always. Business before pleasure. I prefer it to be given to me in my hand where then, while you get yourself comfortable, I can excuse myself to count it then return to start our rendezvous. I do offer GFE so depending on what the client prefers, we can curl up on the couch, and start off with a movie.

    I can chef it up in the kitchen or we could take it to the bedroom where I could give you a sensual massage. It’s really up to the client and what he needs/wants. As long as the clients ask me to do something that’s offered in my services, I will be more than happy to fulfil their request. Be vocal with me so I can know what you, that way you leave as a happy client.

    Ways To Ease Any Nerves

    First off, I always greet my clients with a smile. I feel that’s so important to let you know everything is fine. Absolutely you will be well taken care of. I am a very bubbly person and love to have conversations, so expect me to strike up a conversation. I hate when interactions become mechanical. We are two human beings not robots.

    I know for some clients, the whole process can be nerve racking. I usually start by asking them how their day was, and offer them a drink. I love when my clients are able to slip away into total bliss, let go and feel welcome and wanted. Even if it’s just for a short time, I feel like we create our own little Utopia together.

    Client Etiquette To Follow

    Yes, there is etiquette I would like potential clients to know. I pride myself on cleanliness and I expect my clients to reciprocate that. Please wash up when you come. If you have had a long day at work or even if you showered 2-3 hours before coming, please freshen up. There are toiletries and towels available for use. Secondly, please be mindful of the amount of time you booked. It gets very uncomfortable when I have to remind clients it’s time to get ready to leave. About ten minutes before our session is supposed to end is a good amount time to start freshening up.

    How A Client Can Become My Favorite

    A client can become my favourite with one being polite (as you can see, respect goes a long way with me) to filling out my booking form fully and correctly and sending a deposit. We SP’s love deposits because it reassures us you are committed to showing up for your booking. A lot of time and preparation goes into a booking on our end. So, even if a client has to cancel last minute because of an emergency or simply re-schedule, the deposit compensates me for a portion of my time, money and effort spent on the preparation to host and look fabulous for our time together. Also, doing/giving tokens of appreciation go a long way. I happen to be human and a woman too hahaha.

    Surprising me with items from my wish lists is very much appreciated or simply asking what I like before hand so you can bring a gift to our appointment works too. In regards to safety and screening, potential clients need to keep in mind we do not know what you look like or know who you are. Chances are though, you as the potential client have done your due diligence in selecting a companion. You have checked all our social media handles. Have even check out our blog and current adds. Extend the same courtesy to us by giving us basic info on who you are, when you would like to book for and for how long.

    Also, tipping a little extra is highly recommended if you enjoyed our services. I’m not sure why tipping sex workers is not a more common thing. As far as longer dates go which I actually prefer, making reservations for us in a nice upscale restaurant for dinner, drinks and dessert is always a win in my books. At the end of the day, if you want to be my favourite you must go the extra mile to prove so. I’m a classy woman and old fashioned, I like to be wined and dined.

    Stormy Webbs – Greetings, my name is Stormy Webbs. I am a VIP companion, webcam model and content creator based out of Toronto, Canada. I ooze radiance and confidence when I enter the room and smile. I am a connoisseur of the finer things in life and love to experience new things, whether it be a new restaurant, exhibit attraction, or simply a new movie. I get a thrill out of first experiences. Follow me on Twitter and Snapchat to see more or visit my website to book a session with me!

    Follow Stormy on

    Twitter: @stormywebbs

    Instagram: @stormywebbs

    Public Snapchat: @stormy_webbsx2

    OnlyFans: www.onlyfans.com/stormywebbs

    Premium Snapchat: fancento.com/stormywebbs

    Website: www.stormywebbs.com

    Images courtesy of Stormy Webbs

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • My Experience As A Sex Worker

    My Experience As A Sex Worker

    I believe that sex work can be the most feminist thing you can do. I own my body and rights completely. I work for myself and have started my own business. Sex workers help the economy. We are the oldest running profession and deserve much more respect than we are getting.  We truly make the world go round!

    Why I Decided To Go Into Sex Work

    I was 21 when I first started as a stripper in Portland Oregon. I was tired of making little money in retail and being treated less than. This girl who would come into my retail place said I would definitely make money as a stripper. I waited to turn 21 because the club she worked at wouldn’t hire under 21. It was the best choice I have ever made. It changed my life in a very powerful way. From stripping, I met my first sugar daddy. Then got into escorting from there.

    Does Being In Sex Work Affect Ones’ Non-Sex Work Relationships?

    I don’t think being a sex worker should affect any of my relationships but sadly, it can. I just don’t give those people the time of day. I won’t give my energy to people who can’t understand what I do. I mean, I can’t tell my family sadly, but they don’t need to know what I do exactly.

    Challenges I Experienced So Far

    Well some challenges I have faced are mostly due to my body not being this “certain” type. Plus I am alternative as well. It only has stopped me from working at the “nicer” clubs but still make great money working the clubs I do. Plus, I don’t see it as a challenge any longer!

    Weirdest Requests From Clients?

    I don’t like to use the word weird but since I am open-minded I get guys wanting things that maybe not all sex workers would be open to doing. I just know I am very non-judgmental. (:

    Typical Myths About Sex Work

    To the people who think we are all forced into doing this, YOU are very wrong. We are not all forced (and to the people who are, I feel for them and hope to see change in that) we want to do what we do. Which is making others happy and supporting our own dreams. I am privileged to be able to use my looks and my mind to help achieve my goals. I am truly blessed with the life I have, meeting so many wonderful sex workers along the way!

    Mila Pixie Rose – Mila is a sex worker from Portland Oregon. A magical and ethereal Goddess to help fantasies come true. She is a writer, director, designer and soon to be tattoo artist. She is a very ambitious and strong willed young woman, follow her on her journey!

    Follow Mila on

    All Sites: https://linktr.ee/pixiearthoe

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pixiearthoe/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/pixiearthoe

    ManyVids: https://www.manyvids.com/Feed/tinymilarose/1002840719

    Images courtesy of Mila Pixie Rose

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    Check out TopEscortBabes for other sex workers in your area.

  • How To Avoid Feeling Nervous Before Sex

    How To Avoid Feeling Nervous Before Sex

    Salutations!

    My name is Winnie Elle. I’m a full service Sex Worker based in the United States. My job has taken me from the coasts of California to the Her Majesty’s United Kingdom. Sex, much like in the name, is my profession. I am very open with myself and my subsequent views on sex. I view it as a very natural and necessary part of the human experience. I understand that for so many people, it’s taboo and uncomfortable but many of us crave sexual intimacy and that’s okay.

    Does Being Nervous Affect Sexual Performance?

    It’s very natural to feel nervous in the moments leading up to sex. Am I attracted to them, are they attracted to me? Will it be good? Will I please them? Will they find me desirable once we shed our clothes? There is a lot that can run through our brains that could cause us to feel uneasy before we do the dirty deed. It’s normal. I feel it all the time.

    Honestly, once your eyes meet, and your skin becomes acquainted with theirs, the fear falls away. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where you can be pulled out of your headspace and the anxiety can set back in. But if you and your partner have good chemistry and patience, falling back into each other comes with ease.

    Some Reasons Men Feel Nervous Before Sex

    One of the biggest reasons men have had reservations with me is the expectations of sexual satisfaction. What are they used to? Have they been with someone more endowed/experienced than me? Will my sexual preferences scare them off? How will they react when I ask for X?

    Each body is a different machine. Pressing the same order of buttons may not yield similar results. It’s a nerve wracking and exhilarating experience to be with someone new. It’s best to be as open as you can with your needs and boundaries so that you both can enjoy good sex.

    Calming The Nerves Of Your Sexual Partner

    When it comes to calming the nerves of a new sexual partner, I like to physically give them space. Some people are not fond of the hollywood experience of ripping each others clothes off and melting into a carnal fantasy. It helps to have relaxing conversations and to share a few laughs. A smile is a powerful thing.

    I try and pay close attention to their body language to get a feel for their level of comfort. As they begin to relax, I will sit next to them and begin to caress them. All while carrying a conversation, I would undress them and the rest is magic.

    Tips To Enjoy Sex

    There is no one way to get into the zone for sex. Some need to be talked to, some need thorough foreplay, some need a stern hand and sharp tongue. What is most important is being sure that this person is someone you want to engage with and vice versa. Being sure you both want each other takes so much of the uncertainty away.

    Beyond that, remember that sex is fun. It’s fun! Try not to take yourself so seriously that you forget the joy in getting tangled up in the person in front of you.

    Follow Winnie Elle on

    Website: www.WondrousWinnie.com

    Twitter: @Wondrous_Winnie

    OnlyFans: OnlyFans.com/Winnie_Elle

    In the Spring of 2020 I will be moving back to my hometown of Los Angeles! For the new year I am offering a 6 hour Fly Me To You promotion for 5k (airfare and lodgings included)

    Images courtesy of Winnie Elle

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Misconceptions About Sex Work

    Misconceptions About Sex Work

    My general views towards sex…Are that women and girls get “morally bullied” into a set of so called guidelines that men are not made to adhere to. I believe (and by the way I am Christian, but liberal), I believe that sex between adults and consensual sex is a matter of choice and should be enjoyed without hangups imposed by others.

    I do as a parent still believe in my daughter and sons at least having their first time with someone they love …but I am not overly obsessed with them being married to enjoy it.

    Have fun but be responsible.

    (sidenote I am also TRULY bisexual, so yes I am very sexually open and liberal.. Hence my occupation haha)

    What I Love About Sex Work

    I was always pretty sexually open once I lost my virginity. Not so much in the regard to the amount of partners but just different sexual things and experiences. I used to have probably more random sex after my first two serious heartaches between ages of 17-19 than I did my first year of escorting. (being honest). I chilled, had kids, (two before marriage and one during and two more after), then when we split because of my affair with a woman I was working CNA work and realized if and when I needed an attorney, I’d need real money. So I decided to cash in on my sexuality, looks and intelligence.

    I began practicing S.T.O.P

    State

    Tax

    On

    Pussy

    What I enjoy most about sex work is that I get to make my own schedule, have more time for being a Mom (even if at times my kids don’t think so). They were too young to remember the 16 hour nursing shifts and me LITERALLY never being home.

    Also just the fact that I don’t have to stand on my back, punishing my body to make per day what I can make per hour. I should note though that after 18 years in the industry and after Fosta/Sesta, I am semi-retired.

    My main business these days is the Web Design and Assistant Business that allows me to make a living and to also help other sex workers grow and become the best they can be.

    How The Sex Industry Is Like

    I think this question is one that is going to vary based on experience. I came in at 31 years old and from a little more than average childhood with no real serious history of abuse, or drugs etc.  I was privileged in that regard. But I have at times found myself in hell and struggling. It’s like life, there are ebbs and flows.

    I think for me overall (other than two arrests and one sexual assault…just without the beating) I have had a kinder career than most. But I also think that my personality and the way I simply let folks know I will NOT take anyone’s BS has kept me somewhat safe from the real crazies. But I will say this…this industry demands thick skin. A lot of girls come into it and think it’s all fancy lingerie, and fun, and trips.  They forget the long hours of admin work, the marketing, the funds to cover ad costs. They don’t consider the dangers of it. While most trafficking stories are propaganda to push political agendas, there are also REAL victims. (That’s another topic, for another time) but yes sex work is dangerous, risky hard work.

    I am fortunate that I have been able to live “out” so therefore people cannot out me, but they have tried. But for many, sex work is a lonely life. No matter how great they try to make their lives look on social media. It’s lonely if you don’t have anyone to talk to and who won’t judge you. So many live with the fear of being found out, with being scared to embark on love and life.

    I guess to sum it up…Sex work has plenty of PROS but beware of underestimating its cons.

    Overall I’d say for me, I don’t regret a moment of it. It helped me grow, become stronger and to a point where I now own two businesses of my own that allows me to help others.

    Frustrating Misconceptions About Sex Work

    OMG, mainly these two..

    We are all trafficked, all of us are victims whether we know it or not they say.

    I am not a victim, I made a choice. My choice was to profit off something that’s absolutely natural. Men may not like this point of view…but even your wife, your girlfriend expects you to support her. Even if she has her own money…she expects it. If you don’t do those things, she puts you on the couch!  When men take a civvie girl out to dinner and they pay for dinner or buy her an outfit, they do it in hopes of getting laid either that day or in the future. All relationships to some degree are business.

    This way, it’s all out in the open. In other words, no matter what TV and news want you to believe, we are not all victims.

    The idea that sex workers are full of disease and that no one would be married to us, or in relationships with us..

    This is crazy…If you liked it enough to pay for it, you better believe someone will fall in love with us.

    We are human beings, with human needs just like anyone else. I have an 11 year life partner, who’s also my co-web designer.  I have kids, hell, I have grandkids. I am a real person…We all are.

    As for the disease stuff…Look people, our bodies are how we make our money. That means it’s even more important for us to stay clean and to protect our reputations and to not cause harm to anyone else. We don’t want your wife or whoever to get sick. We’re a much safer bet than the random hookup online. We are tested often and most of us, (I cannot speak for everyone) practice safe sex.

    Are There Ways To Prevent Such Misconceptions?

    I don’t know. I myself have been advocating, blogging and trying to get men and women to view us differently for YEARS.  The problem is that people forget there is strength in numbers. More people should be sharing their REAL life stories. The human side of them, not just the character.

    They portray. If we want the world to remember we are people just like them, we have to push that narrative. We have to be seen and heard.  We need to take away the terms “Prostitute” and make the world acknowledge that sex work is WORK. I know some think using that term or the term “Hoe” gives us some power. I disagree, they are terms made up by men and prudish women.  We are workers, we work the sex industry..and we deserve to be called a title that is respectful.

    Stop letting men call you things that are derogatory. Stop letting review culture define what and who you are as a companion etc.

    Have a voice, share your stories and educate the masses…Let them know what we really do. Let them know it’s not all lingerie, sex and B.J’s.

    What To Be Prepared For Prior To Being A Sex Worker

    That there will be slow periods. Years ago when I started in 2001…Yes we made boat loads, but the atmosphere was different. We didn’t have to screen hard etc. We kinda just posted, got cute and worked. I always had a site and operated like a real business, but honestly back then…you didn’t have to. NOW you really have to!

    Know that both the men and other sex workers can and will be great to you, but they can also be cruel as fuck to you. Be ready for it and learn to shake it off and keep making your coins.

    Don’t be paranoid or self sabotage by over thinking things. Scared money doesn’t make money.

    Yes, you must screen and operate with CAUTION, but not fear.

    When it’s tough work on your marketing, see what you can do better. Don’t throw in the towel instantly. But if you or your family are doing bad and it’s losing your home etc…find a way to have a second gig to make your ends. Lots of sex workers can no longer survive off sex work alone.

    Seductive Storm – I am a 49 yr old VIP BBW Escort. I am located in the Atlanta area but do travel as well. I am the perfect date for the man who craves more than the usual bedroom only date.

    Follow Seductive Storm on

    Websites:

    www.takenbystorm.co

    www.stormvision.online

    www.seductivestorm.net

    www.goddessstorm.net

    Twitter:

    Https://www.twitter.com/supergirlstorm

    www.twitter.com/stormassists

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seductive.storm_VIP

    I am the creator of TAKEN BY STORM. I provide, SEO, WEB DESIGN, SCREENING AND BOOKING ASSISTANCE , AND PHOTOGRAPHY TO OTHER ESCORTS.

    I also am still providing escort services myself as well. I plan on visiting Chicago , DC (I’m from the Baltimore/DC area originally) and other places.

    I am always available for Fly Me To you.

    Images courtesy of Seductive Storm

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • How To Be A Successful Mature Escort

    How To Be A Successful Mature Escort

    I believe our individual sexuality is a gift, something to be cherished and embraced.  I see sex work as an opportunity for those who want to fully and freely enjoy their sexuality and preferences without the strings of a conventional relationship.

    Whether they are denied that gift through circumstance, repression, opportunity or personal lack of self confidence in the dating world.  The recently divorced male for whom another relationship would be too soon. A widowed gentleman, still in his sexual prime. An executive too busy for the hassle of dating. A handicapped guy who might never find an intimate partner.  The cross dresser who is not allowed to express that side of himself at home. There’s always been a need in society for our services and I see myself as a facilitator to allow my client friend’s intimate desires, fantasies and fetishes to be realized.

    How I Got Into Escorting

    Frankly, an inadequate income in high end commissioned sales. I’d been in the “lifestyle” and a nudist for several years, married and than as a single woman. Highly sexual and comfortable in my sexuality.  By chance, I saw an ad in the Tampa newspaper looking for classy women for upscale lingerie modeling.

    I was offered the “night shift.”  From 6-10ish each evening after my day job. All the daytime spots were filled.  I called and asked, “Would you be interested in a mature woman for the position?”  The reply was absolutely and I wore a beautiful silk suit to the interview. Underneath a low black top, black stockings and gorgeous black stiletto heels.

    The manager of the shop was a stunning young woman.  We discussed my background and she said, “I like your look.  When can you begin?”

    The next Monday was my debut night.  No training in how to work, no idea or opportunity to screen the gent if he came through the outer door.  A dangerous part of the city. On my own, I decided to offer something more upscale. I carted in crystal glasses, Perrier, my own music, candles and an elegant wardrobe.

    My first client that evening resulted in a profit of $100.  When money is tight, that is a big deal. But even more importantly, I absolutely loved what I was doing. I felt I’d found my calling.

    To shorten this, I stayed three weeks, the management thrilled that I was making money for them during the slowest hours.  Jealousy amongst the daytime girls set in and it was time for me to go. Lies were spread. Thankfully, I had met the sales manager of the local adult magazine and he directed me to the world of internet escorting. I did my research and three weeks later, my first ad appeared on Eros. A month later, I resigned from my sales position and the rest of this joyous adventure began.

    What It’s Like Being A Mature Escort

    It’s enjoyable and it’s becoming more and more common.  Some of the top escorts in the world are older women. I get a kick out of being the age I am and being attractive to men of all ages and backgrounds.  I’ve visited all over the US, the UK and Ireland. It’s allowed me opportunities I’d never have experienced in my previous life. And….it keeps ME young.

    Advantages Of Being A Mature Escort

    It’s my observation that we attract a different type of client.  One who appreciates a keen intellect, the social ease one achieves from living life, the sexual experience and comfort with herself, rather than only a perfect body and face. I feel we attract the more thoughtful type of gentleman, no matter his age.

    What Does It Take To Be Successful In This Competitive Industry?

    There’s no doubt it’s highly competitive but I feel the key to success is to be authentically unique and to build your brand upon that uniqueness.  Obviously, you must take good care of yourself and your appearance but be happy about who you are.

    And like any other successful business, offer consistent exemplary service. If you treat your customer like a king, you’ll always be a queen. It costs nothing to be kind. In the end, everyone wants to be treated with respect and kindness.

    Advice For Clients Before Engaging A Mature Escort

    That she most certainly knows her own mind so treat her with respect and read her website before you contact her. Being a gentlemen is the key to a wonderful experience.

    Anneke Van Buren -A little bit older, a whole lot wiser. Ageless beauty, exceptional skills, a warm heart and a lusty soul. One of whom you will say, “How did she know?” Your mature lover, fetish goddess, sensual domina and confidant with no strings.

    Follow Anneke Van Buren on

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Annekenordstrum

    Websites:

    www.annekepleasures.nl (escort website)

    www.annekexposed.com (my personal adult film site)

    Instagram: @annekevanburen8357

    Skype: Anneke33548

    Home base; Tampa, FL Albany, NY

    Upcoming tours:

    Albany, NY December 3-7

    Chicago, downtown, December 8-11

    Article images courtesy of Anneke Van Buren

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • My Experiences As A Sex Worker

    My Experiences As A Sex Worker

    I’ve been a sex worker for three years now (the first year I’ve worked as an erotic masseuse only). I think it’s a great job that gives a lot of nice opportunities and has many advantages. I love meeting new people and visiting new places. It’s a very exciting and satisfying job for me. Actually it’s the best job I have ever had.

    Working as an escort can be empowering too in many ways and for many women, it can be a way to change their lives for better. However – just like in any other work – you should like what you do. Otherwise it will not be a good job for you.

    What I’ve Learnt After 3 Years In The Industry

    In October, it’s been three years since I started working as a masseuse and escort. During this time I’ve learned a lot about the industry and people in it. For example, I’ve learned that the industry is more diverse than I could imagine. Before I started working, I thought that you have to be a classic beauty to work and to have clients. Now I see that girls of every type, every age, every size will find their group of admirers. Every girl is different, every girl has something else to offer and that is great.

    Another thing that I’ve learned is that the SW community is really amazing. I discovered this after joining Twitter actually. I found out that there are many inspiring providers and clients that share their experiences, talk openly about SW subjects, that support each other and are super super kind to each other. That really surprised me. Being in touch with other sex workers is important. It’s good to have colleagues who have similar job and experiences as you.

    And the last thing I’d like to mention – surprisingly, sex work is not all about sex. Clients don’t always meet an escort just to have sex. Many clients (at least from my experience) meet girls mainly to spend the nice time together – go for holidays or have a weekend getaway, talk, go out, be close, hug and kiss a lot and sex is just a nice addition. I was surprised how many men want to meet me just to talk and to have someone that listens to them, that pays attention, that cares about them. Sex is not the only need that you can fulfill while meeting an escort.

    Things I Wished I Knew Before Going Into Sex Work

    When I started working, I didn’t know a lot about the SW. I wish I had someone to tell me to be more brave and assertive. And maybe someone who would warn me about all the mean things some clients might do, especially when you’re new to the industry (trying to lower prices, trying to make you lose your confidence and doubt about yourself, insisting on having some services done, although you don’t want to do them etc.)

    That would have been easier for me just to ignore those clients, if I knew that their behaviours are standard for this type of “clients” and that they have nothing to do with me personally. Anyway, bad clients are a tiny minority. Most of the men are wise, caring, supporting gentlemen who want you to get better, earn better and be happier.

    What Should The Industry Improve On?

    Sadly, there are still some people in the industry who don’t understand that we are stronger if we stand together. I’ve seen some sex workers who judge other girls for no big reason. I’ve seen some sex workers who are jealous and think they have to fight with each other to get clients and get money.

    It’s sad that in a SW community that has many natural difficulties just because of the work that we do, there are still some people who make it harder for the others. I wish things like these can change and I hope people like these can change.

    Biggest Misconceptions About Sex Work Today

    Although the sex work existed since always, there are still many misconceptions about it. I think it’s mainly because there’s still a sex taboo in us. People are shy or afraid to talk about sex. They still have problems with their own sexuality. They still perceive having sex or masturbation as something they should be embarrassed about.

    If people are afraid to talk about sex, they are just terrified to talk about the paid sex. And when they don’t talk about it, they have no opportunity to exchange information and evaluate their knowledge. That way, the stereotypes spread much faster than actual knowledge about sex work. That way we still have those huge misconceptions that everyone thinks or hears from time to time. Let me just show you a tip of an iceberg.

    1. Escort girls do the job because they are not smart enough or qualified enough to do any other work.
      WRONG Many escorts do the job because they chose to do it. They’ve had some previous jobs (often government jobs or jobs where you need high qualifications and good education or often they had their own businesses) but after a while they decided that sex work is better for them and that is the work that they want to do for now or for life. Of course, there are women who have difficult life situations and offering sex for money is something that helps them live, something they don’t necessarily like, but they choose to do it, because they have no better alternative. But that is definitely not the case for all of us.
    2. Sex work = easy job, easy money.
      Many people think that sex work is an easy work, that you don’t have to know anything, you don’t need any skills and that you basically do nothing and earn a lot of money. That is of course not true. Sex work is not an easy work. Working with people requires a lot of dedication, understanding and empathy. Sex work is a physical work, for which you should have good physical abilities. And it’s an intellectual work too – you must know how to advertise, how to run your business, how to organize your schedule and bookings, you must know how much costs you can afford and how much you’ll be able to earn. You must organize your tours, your photo shoots. You must take care of your website, social media, emails everyday. And after doing all this, you just clear your mind and go for a date and give the client the best experience he can imagine. Working as an escort requires knowledge in many fields. Especially when you do something that needs some special skills, for example massages, BDSM services or when you are focused on working with disabled clients. If you’re an escort, you must be strong mentally, you must be smart, you must be hardworking and you have to be well organized just like every other freelancer. Being an escort is not only laying on soft pillows all day and waiting for a client to come as some people seem to think.
      Of course I’m not trying to say here that the work is super hard or not rewarding. If you like what you do – it’s nice, satisfying and easier. But just not as easy as people think.
    3. Being a sex work is something bad.
      This is the most common misconception that makes sex workers stigmatised. I know that everyone has their own morality, but I think some things are just bad or good in nature, no matter how you look at it. Let me put it this simple way:
      Cooking at home is good. Cooking for money is good too.
      Killing people is bad. Killing people for money is bad too.
      Having sex is good. And doing it for money doesn’t make it any worse. It’s just logical. If you have sex because you want to, with an adult person who also wants this, there is nothing wrong about it. Regardless if you do it for free or for money. You may not like the idea of being a sex worker – in that case just don’t be one and don’t hire one. I wish people were more open-minded about sex and sex work. It’s XXI century – it’s really a bit late to still stigmatise sex workers and criminalize sex work (in some countries)… Criminalizing sex work doesn’t make anything better. But maybe that is a topic for whole another article.

    Advice For Those Looking To Get Started Into Sex Work

    If you think about starting work as an escort, there are many things you should know. It’s hard to list them all here. There are many technical, business and personal tips every experienced sex worker could give.

    But from general things, I think you should know that sex work can be a great work. You should only remember to surround yourself with the right people (friends and clients), do only things that are comfortable for you. You should value yourself and not care about mean individuals that you might meet. And always, always, always put your safety first. Don’t lose your head for money. Be safe, have fun, make money, save some for later and enjoy the advantages of an escort life.

    Nicole Kaminski – I’m an independent, international escort based in Warsaw, Poland. My speciality are professional sensual massages and Girlfriend Experience dates. I’m an easygoing and friendly person, that you would enjoy spending time with. I love escorting and blogging.

    Follow Nicole on

    Website: nicolekaminski.com
    Email: nicolekaminski@protonmail.com
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/NicoleNKNK
    Instagram: https://instagram.com/nicole_kaminski_companion/

    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • An Insight Into The Life Of A Sex Worker

    An Insight Into The Life Of A Sex Worker

    Sex work gave me my life back. Before working as an escort, I was at risk of losing my home and being unable to continue my studies. My depression was at its worst, my confidence was weak and I felt my life had no direction. These are all things that people would associate with somebody doing sex work but for me, it pulled me out of those lows. It was my saviour.

    I think it is very important to make clear distinctions between sex work and trafficking. Trafficking is slavery and is not sex work. That is not what we are talking about here. The narrative must change. I am loved, I am not a drug addict, and I am my own boss.

    Photo: http://www.emirparrotta.com

    What Made Me Decide To Get Into Sex Work

    I started escorting in the beginning for the quick cash when regular working routes failed me. I have two degrees, and studying for my third. I had plenty of experience and am an excellent candidate but the job market can be fickle and I had bills to pay. A friends’ girlfriend was a call girl and he thought I’d do well and could learn from her. She is intelligent and articulate so I met up with her for a coffee, and the rest is history!

    Steve Joliffe @ https://www.progressivephotography.co.uk

    Was Sex Work What You Thought It Was?

    What took me by surprise was how suited I am and in many ways, it’s my perfect career. All my skills fit perfectly and I truly feel satisfied and rewarded as a proud business woman.

    Initially, I worried about the dangers. Unfortunately some workers do get attacked, but I have had more incidents and assaults in my personal dating life than anything at ‘work’.

    I didn’t realise how kind some of my clients would be and how much I would change their lives for the better. At first, I thought selling sex was about sexual gratification but it is so much more than that. It’s about connection and intimacy, to be touched by another. We are selling escapism and release in more ways than one, not just hand jobs.

    Photo: Steve Joliffe @ https://www.progressivephotography.co.uk

    Challenges I Face As A Sex Worker

    The main challenge I face is the stigma around sex work. Some men don’t want to date me personally for their own insecurities but even some feminists feel we are playing against them. Others think we are dirty or virtueless. We are people, we have lovers, families and friends.

    An annoying assumption is that this work is easy or a get rich quick scheme. It is many things but easy is not one of them, and although my business is building, money isn’t the driving force. I continue to do this line of work because I enjoy it. I feel high levels of job satisfaction and maybe one day I’ll be able to buy my own apartment.

    Clients are normal everyday men you see in your life. They aren’t all perverts on the edge of society. Husbands, fathers, sons, businessmen. You probably know some without realising it. Many men have paid for sex, but are also worried about being labelled. Majority of whom value the companionship provided with respect and care.

    How Competitive Is The Sex Work Industry?

    Sex work has given me access to a community of incredible strong supportive women and men whom I now call friends. The industry can be competitive depending on where you work. In every corner of the world, there are various styles and types of sex work, but the community has been incredibly welcoming, uplifting and supportive. We are here together and try to keep each other safe. As much as we are all selling sex, our approach, methods and style are all different giving us our unique selling point. I like to think there is room for all of us.

    Steve Joliffe @ https://www.progressivephotography.co.uk

    What Clients Should Know Before Engaging A Sex Worker

    Clients should know to do some research on their provider before choosing one, simply because we all offer different things. They may need to pass screening and/or pay deposits. They must shower and arrive fresh to their appointment. We are not interested in ‘outing’ them to their families or colleagues – that’s bad for business and discretion is a priority, we just want to keep safe and have a good time.

    Kate Bouvier – High-Class Escort offering companionship bookings to distinguished gentlemen in Madrid, Spain. A proud Sex Worker, passionate about ending violence against women and keeping the community safe, Kate speaks openly to end stigma around the profession.

    Whether you are seeking a dinner date or attending a work function, British Kate genuinely adores meeting new people and would love to accompany you for the evening during your trip. Or perhaps you are a companion yourself, Kate would love to hear from you to share stories over a glass of wine.

    Follow Kate on

    Website: katebouviermadrid.com

    Twitter: @katebbouvier / https://twitter.com/katebbouvier

    Blog: https://katebouviermadrid.com/blog/

    Online Boards: https://massagerepublic.com/female-escorts-in-madrid/kate-high-class-companion

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