SimplySxy

Tag: Intimacy

  • 3 Hot Investments To Spice Up Your Sex Life

    3 Hot Investments To Spice Up Your Sex Life

    Long-Lasting Sexual Investment

    Look: the “Horny Goat Weed” you get at the gas station may actually work; but expect a headache, and discomfort after the fact. A lot of people find such outcomes when they use varying toys and compounds purchased either at sex shops or convenience stores. Maybe such options float your boat, but they might not be healthy for you.

    However, there are ways to enhance your sex life over the long term in a healthy way that actually contributes to better health overall. Here we’ll briefly explore three routes to that sort of outcome.

    1. A Gym Membership And Health Supplements

    According to Harvard Health, certain supplements won’t only spice up your sex life, they might just save it. As you age, your “sexual” hormones change. Men lose testosterone gradually over time, women have hormonal changes after every menstrual period. Eventually he will be impotent, and she will go through menopause.

    However, one reason such realities come to define maturity in life has to do with lifestyles. If you exercise regularly and properly, man or woman, you’re going to make your body “feel” younger at an intrinsic level. Excess exercise—of the right muscle groups of course—can and often does lead to increased hormones.

    When you enhance the exercises you do for intimacy with supplements that are known to increase virility, you might not need to do much more.

    If you and your spouse are both exercising and supplementing, it may be all either of you can do to keep your hands to yourselves. Do a little research, of course; but with the internet, you can fund just the right information.



    https://pixabay.com/photos/running-couple-action-man-woman-2353880/

    2. A Sexy Mattress Designed For Intimacy

    Sometimes the issue you’re dealing with isn’t physical, it’s situational. Have you and your significant other ever gotten the urge out in public? Well, were you able to make things work in whatever secluded area you found? Despite what erotic films may suggest, sometimes it’s hard to get intimate anywhere but in a comfortable, private bedroom.

    If you’ve ever tried to “get serious” in the backseat of a crunched car, or actually tried to make love on the beach, you’ll find these options aren’t nearly so desirable as some media may suggest. The sand is itchy, and when you’re not in a place where you can move your body correctly, things can be downright painful in a car. Leave that to teenagers.

    What makes more sense if you’re in a mature relationship is to find the ultimate mattress for sex. The option in the link is definitely considerable and will make it easier for you and your spouse to be more intimate on a more regular basis.



    https://pixabay.com/vectors/bed-furniture-bedroom-sleep-575799/

    3. Aphrodisiacs: Foods That Invite Arousal

    Most aphrodisiacs are for him and for her, and a lot of common food items have aphrodisiac qualities which can make including them in a meal extremely easy. If you’re looking to subtly romance your significant other, this is a great way to do so.

    Common aphrodisiacs include olive oil, cinnamon, basil, truffles, ginger, maca root, pumpkin, champagne, celery, garlic (just be sure you both eat some), pine nuts, and ginseng. Here’s a link with over thirty of them; figure out which ones you both like and buy in bulk.

    Transforming Dollars Into Valentines

    Whether you’re improving your own personal bodily functionality through exercise and health supplements, making things physically easier in the bedroom with a new sex mattress, or stocking up on aphrodisiacs, it’s worth your while to invest in the intimacy you and your spouse share. Each dollar you invest in this way might as well be its own valentine!

    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Why It’s Important To Embrace & Explore Intimacy

    Why It’s Important To Embrace & Explore Intimacy

    Developing a familiarity with someone physically or on a personal level is a deep way of being intimate.  This type of closeness feeds us as humans. It is so necessary and lacking in the lives of many.  It can sometimes be difficult to forge these connections for various reasons. 

    Some of those reasons include: a lack of education around sexuality, living in pleasure-phobic societies, adult responsibilities, lack of time or an inability to prioritize our relationships.  I love learning about the people I come across, especially when I see a willingness to be seen.

    The Importance Of An Embodied Life

    Being in communication with my body is so important. I’ve learned to pick up cues from my body about what it needs or wants.  How do you follow pleasure when you can’t feel into it, inside your body?  Operating from a place of logic can bind people into ideas about pleasure and fantasy, without a nuanced connection to bodily sensations. 

    There’s nothing wrong with fantasy, but I think there’s a lot that is missed if we forget to consider our real experience.  The driving question is: “How much juiciness do you want to experience in your body?”

    Steps Taken Towards This Journey

    Learning mindfulness practices, developing communication skills and re-engaging with fun!  It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and lose touch with the spirit of joy, as the responsibilities of being an adult take over.  It’s been a valuable resource for me to actively practice these skills within a community of likeminded people.  I try to foster playfulness through dancing, singing and humour.  

    How My Life Has Improved

    Having a developed connection with my body has expanded the range within which I can experience pleasure and attraction.  I have also developed a better ability to self-regulate during stressful situations.

    Common Blocks To Embodied Intimacy?

    Embodied intimacy can be a tricky place to get to if someone is stuck in ideas of what intimacy is supposed to look like or if they’re caught in a routine.  To be clear, there is nothing wrong with being in those places.  Just like with anything that requires effort and creativity, you develop a broader capacity for pleasure by stepping outside of that box. 

    Sensations Felt When Not In Touch With One’s Pleasure & Ways To Overcome Disembodiment

    When a person is out of touch with their pleasure, they can exist primarily in their heads or thoughts.  Numbness, disassociation or pain are common experiences.  Pleasure tends to be experienced within a narrower range. 

    A few simple ways to connect into your body include taking some mindful breaths.  Tracking physical sensations such as a tightness, expansion, cool, warmth, tingling, numbness and so forth.  Allowing for spaciousness to take a breath, to notice what’s cooking within your body or to express what it is that you want.  Slowing down is a great approach to this practice.  Most importantly, follow the pleasure.

    Megan O’Conner – A sun-kissed brunette with deep, soulful eyes, a free spirit who enjoys quality connections.  Discreet, part-time companion to men, women and couples in Vancouver, Canada. 

    Follow Megan O’Conner on

    Website: https://www.libertinecompanion.com/

    Twitter: @MeetMeganO

    Article image courtesy of Megan O’Conner, featured image by Edward Eyer from Pexels

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  • Does Intimacy Often Lead to Love? Why Dating a Companion Might Be Your Answer…

    Does Intimacy Often Lead to Love? Why Dating a Companion Might Be Your Answer…

    Insecurity. Hurt. Confusion – you might find these emotions splat in the middle of a toxic relationship. Usually, you cannot predict whether or not you and a significant other will end up this way, at least with not 100% accuracy. However, seeking a woman whose interests, perspectives, and opinions are ones that might not likely turn toxic in a relationship can be your best bet.

    I see men that have this abundant lifestyle in their work and career, filled with many opportunities for them to grow financially. In contrast, those same men find it difficult to fall in love. The reason being might not be so simple, still, before any relationship should strike, a friendship must be established. I’m not talking about the kind of “friendship” most people perceive. Instead, I will be talking about a special form of it – namely, companionship.

    What Is Companionship Anyway?

    Companionship is a vital connection that provokes a sense of closeness. It can occur in different ways – platonic, sexual, exclusive. In my experience as a companion, I have travelled, attended events and even just hung out with my male friends – the last one being my most preferred. When you are actively and constantly associating yourself with someone, especially on a sexual level, you see a different side than most would.

    It may come in the form of a personalized preference or maybe a fantasy. Through the process of opening up to what might seem like a stranger at first, can lead to a form of intimacy that one might not get through the traditional way of dating.

    When you are actively and constantly associating yourself with someone, especially on a sexual level, you see a different side than most would.

    A friend of mine (we will call her Stacy for the sake of anonymity) who first started dating a boy at her work, soon began finding herself unusually dissatisfied in her long-term relationship. After their breakup, she began in the world of companionship, mainly going on a dating website called Seeking Arrangements. While on a first date with a guy, they eventually ended up in the bedroom. What came up next was an odd surprise that the man was quite shy to speak about. Apparently, in his previous marriage, his wife would laugh at him because he wanted her to take up a dominant role and put a ball gag in his mouth. Stacy, being open to new experiences took up this fantasy. To this day, she still sees this man. In fact, they are happier than ever. I long for this kind of transparency, understanding and familiarity in a dating partner.

    No two people have exactly the same ideas on sex. However, sex builds intimacy and intimacy builds sex. Now, we can say that companionship boasts the traits of intimacy – on an emotional, intellectual, and sexual level – as displayed with Stacy. Women already with this adjusted mentality of providing companionship to men also come with attributes such as openness to new experiences, non-traditional ways of thinking, and overall more tolerant to crazy thoughts or ideas.

    I mean, wouldn’t you want to be aware of your partner’s dirty little secrets, or know how they like to be touched? Well…

    Here’s a reminder that love is always out there, in the air, and maybe closer than you think. So, next time you look to experience a new kind of dating – try to reach out to a companion. You might just get surprised by this special kind of Woman.

    Your Lovely Companion, 

    Miss Kate xo

    Miss Kate – Hi, and welcome to the exciting and passionate world of my extravagant thoughts. To give you a sense of who I am, imagine a graceful ballet dancer who wisps away hatred & negativity through finding beauty in all things. My hobbies include literature, dance and fashion. Also, I look for the best in people, which sometimes leads me to interesting experiences. And yes, I do believe in fairy tales.

    Follow Miss Kate on

    Twitter: @misskateTO

    Images from Miss Kate

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  • Intimacy For Older Gentlemen

    Intimacy For Older Gentlemen

    Sexuality and its expression is part of being a healthy person. The hormones released such as serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine, all have positive effect on our well being and bonding.

    People differ in how they express that sexuality as some enjoy the kink side of sexuality and some of us are more vanilla but a large part of it is mental and we all can indulge ourselves in the thought process.

    Sexy thoughts about the fun and the experience we can have arouses sexy expression and better experiences. Keeping that mental part alive is an important part of experiencing great sex as we age.

    Differences Between The Needs Of Older & Younger Gentlemen

    Older men enjoy the journey and often prefer a relaxed, non rushed atmosphere. Performance anxiety may be present if ED is an issue and thus patience is needed and plenty of teasing and working to build excitement. However, many men enjoy the journey and don’t worry if the destination takes a different path and doesn’t arrive at an “earth shattering orgasm” but enjoy pleasing a partner and the closeness and mental sexiness of being in the moment, kissing and cuddling.

    What Do Older Gentlemen Do Better In Bed?

    They tend to be more able to provide the sensual experience the majority of women appreciate, taking time to stimulate us and are tuned into our reactions and know the subtle signs of our heightened stimulation. They tend to know where erogenous areas of a woman’s body are and often realize that porn is not the manifestation of that ultimate experience and expression, but merely visually fun. I personally enjoy men in my age bracket over younger men as they stimulate both my mind and body through shared history and because older men have, for the most part; become attuned to women’s needs.

    Advantages Of A Longer Date 

    Again, the mind plays a huge role in the build up of sexual experience and expression, and for older men, the appreciation of time spent over dinner, for example; anticipating the intimacy to come and then the slow, deep kissing, undressing and caressing and non-rushed feeling allows for a more intense, juicer time with a woman. There’s less concern about performance and thus ED may be a non issue in the relaxed time together .

    There is also a certain romantic element that enters into play that goes with the longer engagement that appeals to mature men and women on a date, if it’s a dinner date or longer and a naturalness that has an appeal for many.

    Tips For An Unforgettable Date

    I am in a service role in a sense and recalling that with my own boundaries in mind is important to me. Listening to conversations actively, adding the romance by holding hands in public when appropriate, and being sure to keep my focus on my company in public and private sphere, add to the experience.

    Staying positive and relaxed and seeking to find any personal touches I  can address in the setting that are thoughtful and may not even have to do with sexual expression; the trip to the coffee bar in the morning , calling the Uber for dinner, thoughtful and simple gestures can mean so much to create a memory. The sex may be memorable but the sum package of fun  is in the small gestures, too.

    Bailey Rae – I am a mature Southern California courtesan who enjoys the company of her peers for longer engagements, though shorter engagements are available. Please see my information here.

    Follow Bailey Rae on

    Twitter: @BaileyRayMuse 

    Website:

    https://www.baileysoutherncalifornia.com/

    https://tryst.link/escort/bailey-ray

    Email: BaileyofSouthernCalifornia@protonmail.com

    Incall available in Palm Springs with at least a weeks notice, but I’m mainly outcall with a businessman’s needs in mind for a change of pace from dining alone and spending the night staring at the television.

    Article photos courtesy of Bailey Rae; featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Sexual Intimacy in Virtual Reality is Much Closer than You Think

    Sexual Intimacy in Virtual Reality is Much Closer than You Think

    With time, VR as one sexually influencing experience is all set to see more development. Porn has in existence for a long time and has been related to technology. People have started being more interested in VR. It should not come as a surprise that this adult content has started gathering demand. Even though this is not a good concept, teledildonics will enable you to be involved in sexual activity using the technological device remotely.

    There is a popular cam website which experimented with VR Intimacy and had been launched in the month of August last year. This was actually a VR platform which enabled the viewers to interact with the performers through teledildonics. The site authority said that they would like to provide their users with a good experience which will stimulate their imagination constantly.

    Virtual Reality intimacy has received acclamation from media for some time now. In 2013, it had been reported that a company makes sex toys which are robot-assisted for helping couples who are in a long distance. With the use of a haptic device, the company will stimulate through a small action like hand-holding to sex. This is taken as an intimate experience directly out of science fiction and for a price of less than $200.

    Other devices have come up in the last few years starting from Tesla Suit to OhRoma which adds scents for improving the VR porn experience. With time, the adult industry is gaining momentum and many sex toys are making its way into the market. Only recently, a Swiss startup, Terpon SA began developing VR webcams, especially for the adult industry. The Terpon CEO is of the opinion that adult content which is recorded is dying because of the amount of free content which is available. Hence, the move towards adding 3D content and live-cam is something which people are going to pay for.

    The CEO of Naughty America, Ian Paul has said that there is a consistent flow of new customers when it comes to the VR Porn industry.

    What does virtual reality mean in the adult industry? It means total immersion. This makes it possible to be the protagonist in the video which is being watched due to the 360-degree viewing. It will provide you with a close and personal experience. VR is going to work in the quality of the image depth and frames of the field with the industry moving towards manipulating the content. With technological advancement, the experience will also improve.

    Even though these changes are not going to come at once, CEO of Terpon, Claude Artonne claims that this heightened experience will keep on evolving and also mimicking real-life interaction as more companies will enter the field and will develop more cutting edge technologies which define boundaries.

    The question is what about all ordinary relationships and why is VR sex something which should happen? The answer is that the prospect of sexual intimacy is quite big. It can heighten the intimacy in between people and can also work on sex.

    Featured image from Shutterstock

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  • What Men Want During Sex

    What Men Want During Sex

    Sex is such a beautiful thing to experience. Through sex you can express so much to another person without even opening your mouth. You can feel a person’s love, passion, energy, jealousy, and even hatred through sex. It’s the closest you can be with someone other than a mental connection.

    Sex, even though is exploited a lot in the media as both positive and negative (mostly negative), should always be embraced and showed as something natural and to not hold such a heavy burden on those who decide to embrace their sexuality in a responsible manner (safe sex).

    What Is Considered An Amazing Sexual Experience?

    When you’re both giver’s and wanting to satisfy one another while being satisfied from knowing that the other person is satisfied is one of the most amazing experience. Whew, that’s a mouth full.

    There’s something about seeing another person in pure ecstasy knowing that you are the one that got them to that place.

    Misconceptions Women Have About Men

    Men want kinky, dirty, or being a fantasy sex, 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, men love dirty, kinky and for a woman to dress up and put on a show for them during sex with killer skills, but it’s not all the time; or even all men. Some men like to have bland, passionate, or slow sex to savor the entire experience, while some do want you to get nasty and perform tricks and do a split when having sex.

    It’s similar to when some women feel men don’t like stretch marks and will point them out, when in reality 97% of them could care less or even notice them until later on down the road.

    What Do Men Typically Want?

    Honestly, most men just want intimacy. The closeness of another person lying right next to them while talking about any and everything that they may feel judged for by people in their close circle. It’s the feeling of letting them express their inner thoughts, emotions and sexual drive in a healthy way to where they don’t always have to justify and show the world how much of a “man” they are.

    Dealing with men in my personal life and my career as an escort, that’s the one thing I’ve noticed amongst them all as a whole; just wanting to feel close to someone in an intimate way of making them feel special.

    What Is Essential For A Good Sexual Time?

    Chemistry. Above everything even experience, I feel chemistry is the one thing to have to ensure a good sexual time.

    You can have better skills than a porn star, but if there isn’t any chemistry, it’s the same as when you’re hungry and you just want food and you order something and as soon as you take a bite you no longer want it. It’s not that the food was disgusting, it’s just not something satisfying or compatible to what you’re feeling.

    It’s never satisfying to have sex with someone and not have chemistry, at least for me.

    Ja’nae Evans –  Model|Sensual Delicacy|A Wandress, Gourmand, & Oenophile Nymphet.

    Follow Ja’nae Evans on

    Website: Meetjanae.net

    Twitter: @MonCheriJanae

    Instagram: @Cheri_Janae

    Starting March 10th I will be in London and touring surrounding countries until May where I will be residing in New York.

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • Developing Sexual Intimacy With Strangers

    Developing Sexual Intimacy With Strangers

    I think that sex can be an amazing release and a way for us to lose ourselves in pleasure, whether that is simply the pleasure of another’s body or the thrill of living out a fantasy. Sex can be many things, but in the right context it can be healing and rejuvenating.

    One Of The Top Sexual Fantasies

    There is definitely an element of sexual arousal at the thought of having sex with someone you have only just met – dropping all the cultural conventions of ‘getting to know you’ and following our desires fully. This in itself is a source of fantasy; it’s certainly a part of my work that I enjoy!

    However, for many people there are also other dynamics at work in this kind of encounter. Often I think we crave sexual connections with strangers because, oddly, they can allow people to let go and behave more freely than would be possible in daily life. With a paid companion the experience is also confidential, allowing desires and feelings to be explored that might not be so easy to talk about with partners and friends.

    Sex With A Stranger vs A Partner

    I alluded to this a little already, but I think sex with a companion is not the same experience as sex with a partner. This is not to diminish the importance of sexual connection between long term partners; simply that sexual encounters with paid companions play a different role to those with everyday lovers.

    I have sometimes come across the idea (from those who have never spent time as a client) that booking a paid companion would be an awkward, embarrassing or stilted experience. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth. As a professional companion, I have a knack for making people feel comfortable and at ease in an extremely short period of time. A session with me will allow you to let go of yourself, even if only for an hour. The sexual and emotional release that this grants can be a fantastic feeling! Many of my clients are first-timers and my inbox is full of thank you notes and messages expressing delight at our amazing time together. Whilst I imagine Tinder dates have the potential to be somewhat awkward, those with professional companions are anything but.

    Creating Intimacy With A Stranger

    The needs and wants of my clients are very different, so the way that intimacy builds for us in our sessions together is always a unique process.

    As in any human relationship, listening and mutual respect will almost always serve to enhance sexual intimacy. It’s important to listen to body language, as well as words. Open discussion of our desires, fantasies, and feelings, as I mentioned earlier, can often be easier with a paid companion than with those we see on different terms.

    In fact, in a long term provider-client relationship, our sexual experiences usually just get better and better. Our bodies become more familiar with each other and our individual rhythms, likes and desires. This enhances the trust and shared connection that exists in these relationships.

    Tips For An Amazing Sexual Experience

    My main tip would be to always listen to your partner(s) and respect their wishes fully. Practicing good consent is an indispensable part of having an amazing sexual experience, whether with a stranger (paid or otherwise) or someone in your personal life.

    If there’s a specific fantasy you’ve always wanted to explore, or you’d simply like to spend a few hours in my arms, just get in touch. I’ll make sure your experience is an amazing one!

    Chloe Vega – Chloe Vega is a petite, independent English escort with long locks of hair, porcelain skin and a youthful style. She loves to travel and can be found working her magic in Berlin, London, Melbourne and Edinburgh. Chloe offers a vivacious and sensual Girl Friend Experience, as well as kinkier sub and switch sessions.

    Follow Chloe Vega on:

    Website: chloexvega.com
    Twitter: @chloexvega

    Be sure to catch Chloe Vega at the following dates:

    Berlin, DE until September 19th
    Leeds, UK September 20th – 26th

    Berlin DE until October 20th

    Sydney/Melbourne in November (to be confirmed)

    Images courtesy of Chloe Vega

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  • Attraction & Intimacy: Signs She Is Interested In You

    Attraction & Intimacy: Signs She Is Interested In You

    “Our souls crave intimacy”- unknown author (slipped my mind).  A quote I once heard that struck a chord in me at a young age. I have always been fascinated with emotional and spiritual intimacy and what it means. Connecting with the opposite sex and developing our emotional intimacy that develops into sexual energy. Being intimate with someone is a beautiful thing that I take great pride in. Becoming one while being intimate with the opposite sex is something I love to do. I am extremely comfortable with intimacy and find myself able to easily open up to the opposite sex.

    First Impressions

    First impressions are everything to me. You get to see someones’ character and true colors. Always listen to the way others present themselves to you; they are telling you who they are.

    How To Impress You On A Date

    I love a stimulating conversation where we find commonalities on a first date. Everyone gets nervous or the jitters when meeting someone for the first time. So it’s nice to find common ground with your date to alleviate the nervousness.

    Common Mistakes Guys Make On Dates

    I have never had a bad date! I don’t believe in “bad dates”. Maybe not so great experiences but “bad” is a negative state of mind. I try to always shift the energy of a date if I feel it’s moving towards a negative direction. I don’t expect guys to be perfect and to always please me. For the most part I have had nothing but wonderful dates and experiences. Everyone I have came in contact with has been wonderful and fulfilling. The few negative dates I have had; I just kind of write it off and assume they were having a “bad day”. We can’t always be perfect; after all we are human 🙂

    Signs I Am Interested

    I am pretty expressive! You would be able to tell if I was uninterested. I don’t believe in being “bored”. Boredom is a state of mind and if your “bored”, that’s something you should change! It’s no ones fault but your own if you’re “bored”.  For the most part I do a pretty good job of stimulating myself and my dates to keep from being uninterested.

    https://youtu.be/hcCM2tShE48

    Ava Reese – Muse. Vixen. Courtesan. Your Asian/Ebony Elite Companion based out of San Francisco, CA

    Follow Ava Reese on:

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/avareesesf
    Website: http://avareesesf.com/

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • How to Survive a Weekend of Non-Stop Sex

    How to Survive a Weekend of Non-Stop Sex

    My husband and I are planning for a weekend sexcapade getaway, just staying in the room, enjoy ourselves and have lots of intimacy. Are there any risks such as exhaustion or over exertion to be wary of?

    It is so good and important to create this kind of time together. Bravo!

    What could be better than to exhaust each other having great sex? And yes there are some precautions. Sometimes when we have lots of vigorous penetrative intercourse, genitals can get abraded and sore, and you can even get a urinary tract infection. So be sure to take it slow and easy, bring lots of lube, and incorporate lots of non-intercourse pleasures into your lovemaking.

    This will also be helpful if genitals don’t behave quite as we wish. A man might ejaculate early or stay soft; a woman might not be able to access her arousal or climax. Be easy about it. There are so many ways of accessing physical intimacy and erotic pleasure that don’t depend on having a hard cock and a wet pussy.

    Massage, oral pleasures, exploring different parts of the body with communication and curiosity, and a commitment to enjoy warm connected touch are helpful practices for long-term couples.

    Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com! 

    Caffyn Jesse is a widely-respected teacher of sexuality. She teaches the Canadian Professional Somatic Sex Educator Training with Dr. Liam Snowdon. She offers a Certificate in Intimacy Education training to advanced students. Read the rest of her profile below!

    More resources: Caffyn’s book on Erotic Massage for Healing and Pleasure: http://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Massage-Healing-Pleasure-pioneering/dp/0973833211/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

    and her video courses:

    Orgasmic Mastery for Men : http://www.erospirit.ca/product/orgasmic-mastery-for-men/ and

    Learn Erotic Massage: http://www.erospirit.ca/product/learn-erotic-massage-for-healing-and-pleasure/

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

  • Get your Sexual desire back

    Get your Sexual desire back

    I lost my virginity at a young age and it wasn’t as fun as I thought, and didn’t like the experience. Since then, I’ve had no interest in sex even when in relationships and it has been almost 8 years since my first time. Will I ever feel the want to have sex again?

    You certainly can reclaim your desire and erotic joy in the wake of this difficult experience. But you are not likely to just spontaneously feel a desire to have sex again without consciously working on it.

    When the nervous system is impacted by trauma, it will often shut down the arousal system to manage distressing effects. The good news is that the nervous system is always growing and changing in response to life experiences, so if you can start to provide your body with some safe, slow, joyful awakening touch, your desire can start to come alive again.

    Go slowly, stay attuned to the needs of your body and spirit, and practice with yourself. It is so joyful to welcome erotic energy into our bodies and our lives, and know there is nothing you need to do with it and no one you need to share it with until you choose and you feel ready. If and when you want to explore erotic pleasure with another person, choose a safe and trusted person who will listen to you and guide you to listen to yourself.

    Remember you can stop at any time during an erotic encounter. The most important thing is that you feel you can choose, at every step along the way. Your nervous system will only be able to develop a capacity to feel erotically alive again in an environment of safety and ongoing choice.

    Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com! 

    Caffyn Jesse is a widely-respected teacher of sexuality. She teaches the Canadian Professional Somatic Sex Educator Training with Dr. Liam Snowdon. She offers a Certificate in Intimacy Education training to advanced students.

    More resources: Caffyn’s book on Erotic Massage for Healing and Pleasure: http://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Massage-Healing-Pleasure-pioneering/dp/0973833211/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

    and her video courses

    Orgasmic Mastery for Men : http://www.erospirit.ca/product/orgasmic-mastery-for-men/ and

    Learn Erotic Massage: http://www.erospirit.ca/product/learn-erotic-massage-for-healing-and-pleasure/

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock