Tag: Intimacy

“The Future of Sex” – Closing Insights from Sarah Calleja

The future of sex has arrived

Have you explored virtual sex toys that promise ‘interactive sex’ with another person over the Internet? Would you consider sex with a robot? What about ‘Smart insertables’ which help women train their pelvic floor muscles with games? Have you heard US regulators have just approved the release of “female Viagra”, a drug known as Addyi?

Welcome to the future that’s customizing individual sexual options.

The New York Toy Collective believe that consenting adults should be able to have whatever kind of sex they want, with whoever they want, regardless of the body they or their partner were born with. They specialize in self-affirming products for all forms of sexual expression and are the first and only company to use 3D scanning technology to allow consumers to create sex toys modelled after their own bodies.

For those who own a 3-D printer, the site MakerLove offers all types of free sex toy designs for downloading for people who want the freedom to privately own their own pleasure.

For those wanting more than the standard sex robot, at between $US6,000 to $US60,000 Hermaphrodite-doll enthusiasts can order removable genitals so they can go back and forth between genders. A Pew Research Centre report claims that by 2025 robot sex will be “commonplace.”

HappyPlayTime’s Mascot!

Apps like SexPositive, developed by the University of Oregon, teach safe sex practices though a fun, nonjudgmental interface. The cartoonish app HappyPlayTime tries to take the stigma out of female masturbation by guiding women through the process.

Dating apps can provoke anxiety with users when people are unsure how to best manage protocols like writing their bios; including photos; being honest about age; exaggerating positives or considering outright lying.

Some people worry about being shamed when on various dating sites or exposed by hackers on sites like Ashley Madison. It would be interesting to have a discussion why up to 31 million on Ashley Madison alone are not so concerned about internet privacy and will pay for the opportunity to explore sexual fantasy with a random stranger and not their partner.

Technology can also be used to enable healthy sexual expression. Safe sex apps are readily available to facilitate a healthier sex life.

Award winning educational apps like Parents, tweens and sex app enable and empower parents and their tweens to improve communication and advocacy when discussing confronting sexual issues.

Explore Women’s sex allows users to appreciate the clitoral anatomy and how they are involved in sexual arousal.

Dating IRL (In Real Life) anymore?

In the recent past, lengthy surveys designed to figure out who you are made predictions for compatibility. Now, intuitive technology learns your preferences based on your actions. Online dating trends reveal almost a quarter of online daters find a spouse or long-term partner through online dating but, women get a ton more attention than men.

While in the past we met prospective partners through work, family or a shared interest, the new wave of ‘meet ups’ which are independently-run and based on single people’s quirks and interests are responding to people’s desire to meet IRL.

When people meet IRL, they can read facial and body cues when interacting with other people. Grooming, hygiene, socio-economic status and capacity to communicate are also considerations for people when assessing a prospective partner.

IRL separates digital fiction from reality.

Does technology help relationship sex – you know the type between live, consenting adults across the sexual spectrum? Or, is technology the new ‘secret affair’ that demands our attention and disrupts, corrupts and interrupts love?

To be the best lover, you must be ‘present’ and ‘in the moment’ with your partner, to activate all your senses, smell, touch, sight, sound and hearing. This allows you to be fully present, in thought, word and deed. It isn’t about sex toys; it’s about connecting, being curious, reaching out, experimenting, tuning in and responding in kind. It’s about being desired and validating your capacity to be pleasured and to do the pleasuring. It’s about getting off on the chemistry.

Or, we could choose to have sex with (compliant) robots and a future where sex devices interact with a movie or a computer avatar.

Or both….

My personal and professional experience has been that we all value physical and emotional intimacy too much to give that up. It seems like the future trend is IRL, because a virtual relationship isn’t sustainable. Playing with technology helps us to engage our curiosity, play and experiment with our casual or long term partners in ways that were never possible in the past, but –

If a time came when a robot could give us more pleasure than a human, then we humans should be trying harder!

Sarah Calleja is a Counselling Psychologist and Clinical Sexologist, media consultant, author, and app developer.

When Sarah isn’t hard at work as a counselling psychologist and clinical sexologist, or consulting for the media, she loves being a trendsetter in the field of sexology. Sarah regularly presents at international conferences and creates training sessions for health professionals. She writes opinion-editorials for a variety of media and personal blogs can be viewed on her website.

Sarah’s new app, ‘Parents, Tweens and Sex’, a first of its kind app for the iPad designed in collaboration with Swinburne University and featured as a finalist in the digital design category of the 2013 Premier’s Design Awards. This interactive app empowers parents and tweens with the necessary resources to make informed choices to be mindful, comfortable, respectful and responsive when they choose to engage in sexual relationships.

Sarah is also a wife, mother, mentor, friend and the proud owner of laugh lines!

This article has been republished with permission by Sarah Calleja. To view the original post, read it here

Images courtesy of Nina Calleja
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

December 18, 2015
Why is defining sex so damn complicated? Sarah Calleja kicks off SEXtember!

SEX….well, it’s inspiring, thrilling, pleasurable, awkward, painful, embarrassing, confusing and provocative – it’s complicated!

The Merriam-Webster definition defines sex as ‘the state of being male or female’ and ‘physical activity/touch that is related to and often includes sexual intercourse.’ However, a study from the Kinsey Institute found that no uniform consensus existed when it came to defining sex.

As the pioneering sex researcher Alfred Kinsey put it, the only universal on human sexuality is variability itself.

In response, I have invited the sexologists who are contributing to SEXtember, to include their definitions to reveal the diversity of cultures and opinions.

Feeling acknowledged as a sexual person contributes significantly to our sense of well-being and our identity so it is significant that we are now inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, intersex and queer (LGBTIQ) people. Many organisations now provide an Ally support service which affirms the experience and rights of these diverse sexual identities. We also acknowledge Asexual people as part of the sexual spectrum.

As a Counselling Psychologist and Clinical Sexologist, I wanted to clarify individual sexual perspectives to avoid confusion by re-framing the discussion of sexuality in the context of informed consent.

To avoid confusion, I respect my clients and colleagues by asking them their personal definitions of sex, then I have clarity and I can proceed to work with that understanding.

My VISION is to take control of sexuality away from the extremists and profiteers and create an awareness and respect for sexual diversity, curiosity and experimentation. We want adults to role model to our children the concept of Sexual Integrity – when equal privilege embraces equal responsibility with curiosity and humour.

My intelligent, insightful clients have shared with me their wisdom and reflections:

……..It’s a matter of perspective isn’t it?

So, my personal definition of sex?

“Touch that is joyful and sensuous between consenting adults who celebrate mutual responsibility and privilege”

At the end of the day, healthy sexual relationships are about connecting in real life – touching that special someone’s body and heart to create warmth and intimacy. It is creating romance and investing in companionship where you equally feel desired, valued and safe. Sex is fundamentally the difference between a friendship and a relationship.

What I share with my clients about sex is “If you’re not having fun, then you’re not doing it right!”

Sarah Calleja is a Counselling Psychologist and Clinical Sexologist, media consultant, author, and app developer.

When Sarah isn’t hard at work as a counselling psychologist and clinical sexologist, or consulting for the media, she loves being a trendsetter in the field of sexology. Sarah regularly presents at international conferences and creates training sessions for health professionals. She writes opinion-editorials for a variety of media and personal blogs can be viewed on her website.

Sarah’s new app, ‘Parents, Tweens and Sex’, a first of its kind app for the iPad designed in collaboration with Swinburne University and featured as a finalist in the digital design category of the 2013 Premier’s Design Awards. This interactive app empowers parents and tweens with the necessary resources to make informed choices to be mindful, comfortable, respectful and responsive when they choose to engage in sexual relationships.

Sarah is also a wife, mother, mentor, friend and the proud owner of laugh lines!

This article has been republished with permission by Sarah Calleja. To view the original post, read it here

Images courtesy of Nina Calleja
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

December 5, 2015
10 Tips to Improve Intimacy for Couples

Life can get so busy at times that it is easy to forget to nurture your relationship. Connecting with a partner on a daily basis can be difficult for most people, but fostering a healthy relationship is worth taking the time. A great relationship is one built on mutual respect as well as both putting the energy and time to keep the relationship passionate, fun, and intimate. Many times it is easy to fall into a rut or a pattern and take the other person for granted, this happens in all long-term relationships, from time to time.

10 tips for couples to improve the intimacy as well keep the relationship fresh and exciting!

1. Keep in contact at least once a day, by phone, text, skype, a kiss in the morning or a hug at night. This may sound like a silly tip, but for many couples, especially those who travel or do not live together a simple hello, or I love you every day will keep that person’s mind connected with yours. Most couples that have successful long-term marriages put the effort into staying in touch. With the invention of the cell phone and texting, it is easy as 123 … I love u … or XOXO!

2. Compliment your partner more often, say something nice to them, be honest and say it from the heart. Noticing a new pair of shoes, or haircut can be from a simple compliment to a really nice compliment that shows appreciation for the little things they may do for you.

3. Appreciation as stated above, is one of the best ways to let your partner know that you like something that they are doing for you. This works well in the bedroom too. If you like to be touched in a certain way, let your partner know that it feels nice and they are more likely to do more of it!

4. Touch! People crave another person’s touch, but the secret is to touch them the way that they like to be touched. When you know what your partner likes then you can do it more often. It can be rubbing behind their head, or holding hands, hugging, kissing, a gentle massage. Touch can be sensual as well, done with lips, fingers hands or using your body, but make sure to find out what they really like first.

5. Do something new to break up the routine each week. It does not have to be something big, but it should be a way to increase the intimacy. Read a book together instead of watching television, try a new position in bed, run a hot bath and take it together instead of a shower.

Read on for the next 5 tips regarding Sex!

July 30, 2014