For the most part, threesomes are something of a gray area of discussion – many desire it, but only a few actually do it. This is because fantasies aside, threesomes can be very tricky to pull off. Even more so if you don’t understand the basics of setting up an actually good threesome.
Apart from ensuring your partner is totally into it, you must also find the perfect third person. If you thought finding the perfect partner as a single person was hard, try finding one as a couple!
If you’ve fancied a threesome experience for a while, then it’s a good thing you’re here. This article will explain the basics of setting up a successful and exciting threesome experience.
What is a Threesome?
A threesome (ménage à trois in French) is a form of group dating that involves sexual activity between three consenting adults, unlike traditional two-way dates. Threesome dating often occurs with a couple looking for a third person to add to their sexual lives. This person is called a unicorn and can be of any gender or sexual orientation.
Why have a threesome?
The biggest reason people engage in threesomes is to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Some couples look to threesomes to spice up their sexual lives or gift their partners something special.
Whatever the reason, it is important not to find a threesome in order to distract from problems in your relationship.
Any communication or sexual problems you may have with your partner will only worsen if you add another person to your sex life. This is why you should always avoid planning a threesome as a bandage for your relationship issues.
How to set up a threesome
When you’re ready to go down the threesome lane, here are some basic steps which can guarantee you’ll achieve the best results:
Communicate with your partner first.
Trust me, you can’t do enough of this. Getting into a tinder for threesome or swinging may be an aspect of sex your partner might not be ready to explore yet. Or perhaps they are, but they need some convincing, which is up to you to provide, but gently. It’s possible that your partner will initially feel intimidated or jealous when you propose the idea of threesome dating.
Keep your cool and describe your reasons for wanting a threesome. You’ll want to talk about the sexy aspects of having a threesome and let your partner know that you’re not interested in it because of any inadequacy on their part.
Also, do not try to push your partner into it. Even if they seem cool with the idea, allow enough time to be certain they’re totally on board. A threesome can change the entire landscape of a relationship. Don’t jump headlong into it without discussing it first with your partner. If your partner doesn’t seem cool with it, it’s okay. You can always try again or gradually talk them up to it. Remember, no pressure.
Set clear boundaries
This is the “lay up ground rules” stage. When you’re sure your partner is on board with the whole idea, the next thing to do is establish the extent of your relationship you are willing to share with the third person. Common questions you should ask yourself are;
- What type of person are we looking for? Male or Female? Friend or stranger?
- Is it just for the sex? Or do we want to include this person in other aspects of our lives?
- What do we do if one of us gets uneasy or jealous during the threesome?
- How do we ensure neither party feels let out?
- After the threesome, what next? Does this become a regular occurrence? Do we introduce the person into our personal space and lives? Must we always hang out together?
In answering these questions, however uncomfortable they might be, you both are establishing ground rules for your three-way relationship. And honestly, the quality of your threesome relationship is always much better when you can reach an agreement on things like this.
Make a sex-acts checklist and visualize it together.
As a couple looking for threesome partner, it’s always a good idea through swinger sites to create a sex-act checklist. This would contain a list of sexual acts permitted with your partner. What activities would we engage in together? What activities are off-limits? Some couples are okay having sex with a stranger swinger, but not kissing; some with a level of voyeurism but no penetration.
You both want to be very clear on what’s off (and on) the table during sexual activities. As you discuss this, fantasize about every situation. Studies have shown that discussing these scenarios in bed can be a huge turn-on, and it further helps convince you that you’re ready to try it out. Clear-cut intimacy boundaries make it an emotionally safe experience for all parties involved.
Finding the right partner
Now, to the crux of it. Like regular two-way relationships, the most important aspect of setting up a threesome relationship is finding the right third. Not only do you have to find the type of person you’re looking for, but they also have to want you and be enthusiastic about a relationship with you. Sounds challenging, right? Not so much if you know where and how to look. Here are our suggestions.
Use dating apps and sites.
In this predominantly digital age, the easiest way to find a unicorn looking for couple is through threesome dating apps and sites, such as Feeld.co, Findyourthreesome.com, ThreesomeFriendFinder.com, etc., are just a few dating apps geared towards three-way relationships.
Try out bars.
Yes! Try out the traditional way of meeting and picking people up. Go to a bar with your partner. Put out feelers for what you want. You’d be surprised there are cool people interested in it too.
Attend sex parties.
There are cool and well-coordinated sex parties where you can meet people like you with different sexual orientations. One of them could be your third! Finding the ideal person to improve your sex life may take some time. But if you keep putting yourself out there, you will eventually succeed.
Setting up a successful threesome…
Setting up a successful threesome can appear daunting at first. However, carrying your partner along and discussing every step of the way can make the entire process easy and stress-free. We hope these tips have placed you well on your way to spicing up your relationship with an awesome threesome.
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