Author: SimplySxy Editorial Team

  • HongKong Kink Con 2014 – Presenter Bios

    HongKong Kink Con 2014 – Presenter Bios

    With just slightly under 2 weeks to go before HK Kink Con 2014, SimplySxy is delighted to share with you all the 11 bios of the presenters who will be there from 14-16 February.  Read on to find out more about them!

    Morpheus – lordmorpheus.com

    Morpheous (Hons B.A., B.Ed) is a sex educator/author and magazine/kinkyTV/radio consultant based in Toronto, Canada. His Education Series presents a variety of lectures to both graduate and undergraduate studies including: The U of T Sexual Diversity Studies inaugural lecture series in 2008, York University Alternative Sexuality Student Union, Washington University, Missouri, Wayne State and the University of Western Ontario and many others. He travels and presents across the Americas, Europe, and Asia, doing outreach to both academic and positive safer sex organizations. This is his second year presenting at HKKC.

    He is the author of two books “How to be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM” (August 2008 Green Candy Press, San Francisco) and the followup, “How to be Kinkier: Your Guide to Safer BDSM“ (Green Candy Press, San Francisco – release date: spring 2012.)  His work is archived at the Sexual Representation Collection at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto, the Leather Archives of Chicago and the National Archives of Canada.

    Every year he hosts the world’s largest single night public erotic Japanese rope bondage event during Nuit Blanche in Toronto, Canada since 2006.

    Mistress Anna – mistressanna.info

    Mistress Anna has been a part of the Adult Industry for approximately 10 years and the last 3.5 years has seen her evolve in to Domination. She is self employed as a Pro Domme as well as being a qualified Personal Trainer and Beauty Therapist, which she has incorporated nicely into the mix via her Bootcamp Mistress/Forced Fitness and Body Maintenance for slaves courses.

    She enjoys role playing an Angry Wife, Sadistic Nurse or Head Mistress mixed in with Corporal Punishment, especially O.T.K Spankings, Ball Busting, Cross Dressing, Water Sports, Anal play, Urethral Sounds, Rope and Temporary Piercing.

    In the community, she leads the Sydney Dommes and subs Munch, and has presented at UBER and Sydney Leather Pride. She is “Rope Mistress” to CJ Blue and is being Served by Chastised Loser.

    Decima

    Decima trained and practiced as a teacher of Drama and Theatre Arts and has been involved in theatre and music most of her life. On retirement from teaching she opened HK’s first BDSM commercial dungeon which served as a meeting point for the community in Hong Kong for many years. Fetish Fashion welcomed many people from around the world who were on their own journey of discovery and provided a safe place to learn and share.

    Decima worked closely with Cross Dressers and provided counselling for many people in the community who wanted better understanding of their sexuality. Her arrest and subsequent trial served only to make her more determined to educate those who wished to understand the BDSM lifestyle.

    As a presenter her experience includes the World Sexology Conference in Singapore and in Hong Kong, and HKKC 1, where her workshop was rated the top workshop of the conference by conference goers. She also lectured for some years in Sexual and Gender Diversity at the University of Hong Kong. She is active in the BDSM community in Hong Kong, and Sydney, Australia on her frequent visits there.

    At the moment Decima is completing her formal training in counselling and psychotherapy and looks forward to using her decades of experience in the BDSM community to help those of minority sexuality who look for reassurance and understanding.

    Elle – MBE2013.com

    Elle has been involved in the BDSM community for about 14 years. In that time, she’s enjoyed bringing her expertise in human anatomy and physiology and her experience in rope, service and D/S to the community through teaching workshops and consulting for various print publications. For the past 3 years she has had the honour of lecturing on the subject of BDSM at the University level alongside her long-time friend and mentor, Morpheous. Elle has a personal passion for M/s, service, objectification, rope, power exchange, ceremony, protocol, ritual and boot worship. She is also the Producer and Director of the world’s largest single night Rope Bondage Exhibition, known as “MBE” which invites hundreds of rope enthusiasts from all over the world to perform in front of thousands of viewers in person and online each year.

    Allura

    Allura has been talking about sex since she learned to speak. After attending Carleton University for gender and sexuality studies, she went on the explore the sex industry firsthand for 3 years. She has worked in harm reduction and outreach for sex workers as well as other high risk groups. She is currently teaching and travelling the world.

    Brian

    Brian has been in the lifestyle for 17 years, and active in the community for 6 years. As one of the community leaders in HK, Brian is the founder and director of HKKC, and helps run the Sunday Munch. He is married to his sub, EmJ, and they have been in a 24/7 relationship for 4 years. He has a fetish for sensory deprivation, as well as the psychology behind D/s. In his professional life, he is an educator, event planner, and founder of HKKC.

    Brian made his debut as a presenter at HKKC 1 with 3 workshops, and he has assisted in 4 lectures at HKU in 2013.

    Milla Reika – milla-reika.tumblr.com

    Milla Reika first began her career as a Mistress/Kinbaku Rope Artist in 2010 in Osaka, Japan. From 2011, Milla moved her career to the stage where she now performs regularly at Kinbaku/SM Events throughout Osaka and Tokyo.

    In 2012, following the retirement of her Master, Takamine Ren, Milla took on management of Matrix SM bar on her own, as well as starting up [Nymphetamine] SM and Fetish Events.

    In addition to Kinbaku based performances, Milla also extends her arena into Body Suspension, Body Modification/Piercing and SM shows involving torture and interrogation.

    Nuit de Tokyo

    NdT as he is commonly known as, is returning for his second HKKC. HK’s resident rope expert started reading Sade at 13, borrowing from the paternal library, and never really got out of SM since, courtesy of a very submissive first girl friend. In 2003, he moved to Japan and formally studied Japanese rope in situ with Osada Steve (2005-2011), Yukimura Haruki (2008-…) and Nawashi Kanna (2010-…).
    He is a full member and licensed instructor of the Yukimura Haruki Ryuu under the name Haru Kakeru and was assistant to Yukimura Haruki during two workshops in Copenhagen and Los Angeles in 2012.

    In March 2013, he performed recently in Tokyo for the 10th anniversary of The Gate, a large fetish party, and at the Deluxe Kabukicho Theater in Shinjuku as part of the Oo Nawa Asobi series of shows in April 2013.

    Domaignes

    Domaignes is a life long kinkster with much knowledge and experience of BDSM. He lives his lifestyle 24/7 usually with a slave, and always with a dungeon. He is fascinated by the mental and aesthetic appeal of BDSM and has a large collection of toys, implements, furniture, art, sculpture, books, clothing, whips and machines much of which is purpose made.

    Domaignes is one of the community leaders in HK, and is teaching for his second time at HKKC.

    Transhuman

    Transhuman stepped into his first play party 10 years ago and has been dabbling in all things kinky since. Previously active in the NZ scene but now based in HK, he has been a local community leader for the last few years.

    At HKKC 1 Transhuman presented the Skin Deep Play Piercing workshop and has guest lectured at HKU on BDSM and sexuality. Besides SM, Transhuman also has long term ambitions in improving sex education in Hong Kong.

    EmJ – EmJ Photography

    EmJ has been involved in the Canadian and Hong Kong scenes for 12 years. In 2008, she co-created FetLife, the world’s largest adult social networking site. Geared towards the fetish and kink communities, the site is getting ready to celebrate it’s 3 millionth member. In her professional life, Emily is an educator and a professional photographer. She has worked for high-end studios doing portrait work, but her true love is erotic photography.

    EmJ is looking at pursuing a career is sexual heath and therapy, and in doing so she has Guest Lectured at HKU 3 times in 2013, and assisted with a 4th presentation, all of which were in bdsm.

  • SlutWalk Singapore

    SlutWalk Singapore

    SimplySxy is delighted to have the opportunity to collaborate with SlutWalk Singapore (SWSG).  This collaboration is in-line with SimplySxy’s mission to create awareness and provide accurate sexuality education for all our readers.  SWSG has been active since 2011, conducting workshops, talks and events on a regular basis.  For starters, here’s a little you should know about SlutWalk:

    History of SlutWalk

    SlutWalk started in Toronto in Feb of 2011 as a response to Constable Michael Sanguinetti’s statement at a York University safety forum that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order to not be victimized.”  This sparked a backlash which has resulted in SlutWalk groups forming all over the world — from Seoul to New York City to Helsinki to Delhi to Johannesburg — to protest a culture that blames victims for rape, and to challenge the attitudes that come with that, which usually leave sexual crimes under-reported as a result.  We recognize that we need to end not only the acts of sexual violence, but the excuses that allow that violence to continue.

    A Manifesto

    We are tired of being oppressed by slut-shaming; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result.  We recognize that we need to end not only the acts of sexual violence, but the excuses that allow that violence to continue.  This is not just a women’s issue or a men’s issue; it is everyone’s issue — regardless of gender identification, class, religion, race, or any other identity markers.

    Snapshot of a SWSG event held previously swsg2012b

    We seek to:

      • Challenge the sentiment that it is acceptable to live in a victim-blaming society as we do, where we are taught “don’t get raped,” instead of “don’t rape.”
      • Emphasize that no means no, yes means yes, and that only our words can consent for us — not our bodies or our clothes, and regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or for work.
      • Fight the stereotypes and myths of sexual assault (e.g. men jumping out of bushes) and supporting a better understanding of why sexual violence happens (not limited to physical violence), supporting victims and survivors.
      • Create an understanding that sexual assault affects all genders, while acknowledging the fact that it disproportionately affects women.
      • Create a network of safe spaces for survivors of sexual assault to seek solace and empowerment.

    Join us in our mission to spread the word that those who experience sexual assault are not the ones at fault, without exception.  Sexual assault is never justifiable, regardless of age, gender, class, profession, or race.

    SlutWalk SG is currently carrying out a survey on Rape Culture and your participation is greatly appreciated.  It will only take a minute of your time and the link to the survey can be found hereWatch this space as we bring you updates on SWSG 2014.  For more information, please visit http://slutwalksg.com/

  • INFOG: The very strange history of Sex Toys

    A brief look through the strange and wonderful history of sex toys from the first Dildo 30,000 years to the boom of Online Shopping.

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    Explore more infographics like this one on the web’s largest information design community –Visually.

  • Some Super-Fruits To Pep Up Your Sex Life

    Some Super-Fruits To Pep Up Your Sex Life

    Fruits are known to be good for your health.  High loaded in vitamins and antioxidants, we have heard many reasons to consume them on a daily basis.  Do you also know that some fruits are able to increase your sex drive and make your horny?  We bring you the lowdown on some simple fruits with amazing powers that can be easily bought off the shelves in the supermarket just round the corner of your home.

    1.  Dates

    Dates

    Doesn’t everyone love a hot date followed by amazing sex?

    Dates contain amino acids which help to combat any lack of sex drive or lower energy levels which are great for a mood boost.  These succulent fruits will increase your stamina and improve sexual desire due to the improved production of hormones.  Moreover, dates are sweet, easy to consume on the go and very addictive.

     

     

    2.  Avocados

    Avocado

    Avocados are great for our sex drive.  They contain high folic acid levels that assist in metabolising proteins which give us an energy boost.

    Avocados contain lots of potassium, which is good for blood flow and are known to benefit a women’s libido.  In addition, they have generous levels of vitamin B6 which help to fight stress and provide the energy for you to keep going and also with the production of testosterone.

    An interesting fact?  Avocados grow on trees which are known as the testicle tree because of the it’s shape, and they tend to grow in pairs.  Sounds like anything familiar down below?

     

    3.  Mangoes

    Mangoes

    Mangoes come with full of vitamin E which is essential for increasing sex hormones.  Not only do mangoes calm the emotions, they also provide moistening fluids for your body keeping you well hydrated.  The natural sugars in mangoes provide an energy boost ensuring you have a long lasting time.

     

     

     

    4.  Bananas

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    The one fruit shaped like the men’s anatomy that is sure to get you going.  Bananas contain potassium which is used in producing sex hormones as well as regulating energy levels.

    Bromelain is another great substance found in bananas for a good boost to those sexual feelings. Bromelain is a type of enzyme that fights impotency in men so guys, please start stocking up.  Bananas also stimulates the serotonin production, a feel good hormone which helps improve sleep and elevate moods.

    5.  Pomegranates

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    Pomegranates are probably one of the most well known fruits for increasing your sex drive.  The main reason why pomegranates are so effective is that it helps the body to produce nitric oxide.   Nitric oxide helps to increase blood flow by opening up blood vessels which is can only be great news for the libido.

    Pomegranate juice is more potent but the fruit is also enjoyable to eat.  Do bear in mind that it contains antioxidants such as tannins and anthocyanins which prevent the aging process in our bodies.  Furthermore, these antioxidants help to significantly reduce the risk of medical conditions like heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis and bronchitis.

     

    6.  Coconuts

    Coconut

    The coconut is one fruit that can is useful in so many sexy ways.  Not only is coconut oil great for a massage, it is anti-viral, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial  and a safe lubricant as well.  Its sweet and refreshing scent will enhance your mood and provide stress relief.  Bear in mind though that coconut oil can damage latex condoms!  The juice of a young coconut helps in keeping the body hydrated and promoting lustful energy as a result of the natural sugars and anti-aging hormone called kinetin.

     

     

    7.  Raspberries

    Raspberries

    A little known fact about raspberries is that they are used to treat erectile dysfunction, just like the kiwi fruit.  Full of vitamin C and a passion red, raspberries encourage the production of sex hormones such as estrogen, androgen and progesterone.

     

     

     

     

    8.  Figs

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    Arguably the most surprising item on this list, figs have quite the sexual appeal. Their interior is pink and fleshy; producing a musky and sexual scent, as is their flavour.  All these lead to a heightening of our senses which improve our moods and let our libido’s rise from their sleep.  Like the pomegranate, figs help in the production of nitric oxide.

    Figs are also extremely effective at increasing libido in both males and females due to the high levels of amino acids found inside.  Amino acids play an important role in normal sexual function which helps increase the levels of nitric oxide in the body.

    Physically, the fig closely resembles the female anatomy and can have a warm, sticky interior from absorbing that hot sun all day.  Guys, please don’t have any wild thoughts though!

  • Toy Maker: MyToy

    Toy Maker: MyToy

    If you’re bored with all the regular dildos and vibrators on the market, why not check out MyToy. One of the newest trends in the sex toys, MyToy is a simple and inexpensive kit to designing and creating your own vibrating silicone toy.

    The soft skin feel silicone rubber is non-toxic and kneadable. Not to mention, it’s ready in an hour. Simply follow the instructions, mix it up and paste it onto the vibrator and you’ve got a vibrator designed by you for you.

    Pick one up today and get creative, our writers say that it’s an amazingly fun thing to do with the girls especially during bachelorette parties.

    mytoy

  • Toy Maker: Natural Contours

    Toy Maker: Natural Contours

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    GET YOURS TODAY AT SIMPLYSXYLIFE

    If you haven’t heard about Natural Contours before it’s high time you should. Born in 1996, they’ve been making intimate massagers for over TWO DECADES! That’s experience you can count on.

    The products of Natural Contours are made of the highest quality materials and have been uniquely designed to ergonomically fit the contours of a woman’s body. Not to mention, they are also delivered in a stylish packaging. No one but you would know you bought a vibe.

    The combination of industrial design and sexual health expertise coupled with the highest manufacturing standards, Natural Contours in our opinion does live up to it’s brand vision of TASTEFUL, ELEGANT, DISCREET, STYLISH & ERGONOMIC.

    Whether you’re the sex toy virgin looking to start exploring your intimate regions or the sensual veteran with the trunk full of used vibes Natural Contours will have something from you. The Energie for instance is weight resistance trainer for the Kegel muscles that is guaranteed to give your lover a surprise.

     

  • INFOG: Crotch Shots: The Definitive Guide to Anatomical Slang

    A definitive guide for the names you have always called your naughty bits, but never known why.  From Medieval literature to Grey’s Anatomy, this guide will let you know where your favourite anatomical slang comes from.

    Explore more infographics like this one on the web’s largest information design community – Visually.

  • 40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women – Part 2

    40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women – Part 2

    Earlier this week, we started this post off with the first 20 mistakes men make while having sex now we’re wrapping up with the next 20.

    Ladies, we’re pretty sure you’ve definitely come across some of these and guys, you’d want to pay attention.

    21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH
    It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it’s more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you’re playing Marathon Man.

    22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
    You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don’t know, don’t ask.

    23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
    Don’t act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

    24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
    Men persist in doing this until she’s eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It’s about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

    25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
    Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she’s performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what’s necessary.

    26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
    Don’t thrust. She’ll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don’t grab her head.

    27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
    In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

    28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
    Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.  Caress her gently, so that she doesn’t feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

    29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
    This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don’t think that being drunk is an excuse.

    30) TAKING PICTURES
    When a man says, “Can I take a photo of you?” she’ll hear the words “__to show my buddies.”  At least let her have custody of them.

    31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
    Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

    32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
    There is no less erotic noise. It’s as sexy as a belching contest.

    33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
    If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she’s a Romanian gymnast, don’t get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

    34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
    Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don’t.

    35) GIVING LOVE BITES
    It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully.  No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

    36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
    Don’t shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It’s not a big turn-on.

    37) TALKING DIRTY
    It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she’ll let you know.

    38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
    You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

    39) SQUASHING HER
    Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

    40) THANKING HER
    Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

  • 30 Sex facts that make you go what???

    30 Sex facts that make you go what???

    Sex is conversational topic that everyone is more than interested to have their two cents worth.  More often that not, there is always an element of exaggeration that causes us to ponder if what was said was fact or fiction.  We scoured the net and shortlisted crazy sex facts that will blow your mind.  Read on and enjoy!

    Fact 1 – Sperm is considered an anti-aging treatment as it contains proteins that have the same anti-wrinkle effect as your moisturizer, which tighten skin and give an instant face-lift.  Ditch your SK-II now ladies!

    Fact 2 – Being very well hydrated leads to better orgasms.

    Fact 3 – Smoking has the ability to shorten a men’s penis by as much as 1cm.  Now that is another reason to start quitting.

    Fact 4 – A single human male produces enough sperm in two weeks to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.

    Fact 5 – For five minutes per day,  try tensing and relaxing your PC muscles (the ones that hold in pee). It might give you better orgasms.

    Fact 6 – The record for masturbating continuously is 9 hours 57 minutes by a Japanese dude called Masanobu Sato who achieved this during the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco.

    Fact 7 – Couples who don’t have a TV in their bedroom have 50 percent more sex.

    Fact 8 – Over in Thailand, on the King’s birthday, males are offered free vasectomies. More than 1,000 are often performed in his honour.

    Fact 9 – Men have an average of 11 erections per day.  That isn’t a lot considering men have sex on their minds all the time.

    Fact 10 – There are roughly 200 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.  Are you one of the lucky 200 million?

    Fact 11 – Every second, 7 Viagra tablets are sold around the world.

    Fact 12 – You improve your immune system by 30% when you have sex once a week.

    Fact 13 – Between 10 million and 1 billion bacteria are exchanged when two people kiss.

    Fact 14 – Consuming ginger stimulates the feelings of excitement associated with sex.  It increases your heart rate, gets your blood pumping and makes you excited for the night ahead.

    Fact 15 – Men who are deprived of sleep are more likely to believe that women want to have sex with them.

    Fact 16 – The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.

    Fact 17 – There is an average of 7 calories in each teaspoon of semen.

    Fact 18 – A female ferret will die if she doesn’t have sex for a year.

    Fact 19 – 25% of penises are slightly bent when erect.

    Fact 20 – When aroused, a man’s testicles can increase in size by 50%.

    Fact 21 – Sexsomnia: Having sex while in your sleep.

    Fact 22 – What is the common shared sexual practice among humans, fishes and porpoises?  Fellatio!

    Fact 23 – Kangaroos have 3 vaginas.  Yes, 3.

    Fact 24 – Women who masturbate regularly are more likely to experience orgasm during intercourse.

    Fact 25 – Over the course of his lifetime, a male will ejaculate approximately 1.5 liters of semen.  That is nothing compared to the blue whale which can ejaculate 750 liters in one go!

    Fact 26 – Mechaphiles: People who like having sex with their cars or other machines.

    Fact 27 – Women’s orgasms last almost four times as long as men’s.

    Fact 28 – The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph.

    Fact 29 – A research found that couples who do more housework had more sex.

    Fact 30 – Women’s breasts increases in size by up to 25% when she is sexually aroused.

  • Murphy’s Law on Sex. Are you feeling lucky?

    Murphy’s Law on Sex. Are you feeling lucky?

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    Most people are familiar with Murphy’s Law that is commonly mentioned as Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  We at Simply Sxy came across a list of Murphy’s Law on Sex.  Enjoy reading them for a good laugh if you have not seen them before!

    1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
    2. Nothing improves with age.
    3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
    4. Sex has no calories.
    5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
    6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
    7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
    8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
    9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
    10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
    11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
    12. Virginity can be cured.
    13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
    14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
    15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
    16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.
    17. It is always the wrong time of month.
    18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
    19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
    20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
    21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night – Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
    22. The younger the better.
    23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
    24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
    25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
    26. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
    27. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
    28. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
    29. Love is a hole in the heart.
    30. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
    31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
    32. Do it only with the best.
    33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
    34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
    35. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
    36. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    37. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
    38. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
    39. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
    40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
    41. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
    42. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
    43. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
    44. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
    45. Never say no.
    46. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
    47. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
    48. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
    49. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
    50. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
    51. Love comes in spurts.
    52. The world does not revolve on an axis.
    53. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
    54. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
    55. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
    56. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
    57. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
    58. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
    59. “This won’t hurt, I promise.”