Kissing (cheek to cheek or lips to lips) always seemed as a very natural process which is essential and important in people relationships. Kissing is present in most people cultures since ancient times. We can read kissing in historical documents, look at the ancient drawings even hear from the songs. Kissing has different types. Parents and children kiss each other to express care, love or devotion. People also kiss in religious reasons and of course kissing is very often used for romantic reasons to express affection, sympathy and pleasure. There are also many ways in which people kiss. Some kisses are plain touching lips to something, some kisses, mostly erotic, involve tongue. However, now everything has changed one hundred and eighty degrees when the Covid-19 pandemic spreads almost all over the world.
COVID-19 spreads mostly from person-to-person contact through coughing, sneezing, laughing, singing or talking. In the distance scale, people can be infected if the particles of coughing, sneezing, laughing, singing or talking reach their mouth, nose or eyes within 1.5 metres. This virus can also spread by touching surfaces or objects where the virus is present and then touching your mouth or face. But what about to have sex with kissing? If you are having sex with someone, you are going to be in close contact with them. Although COVID-19 is not an Sexual Transmitted Infections (STI) but obviously, it is transmitted during sex because of the virus is present in the mouth and it makes sense that kissing will pass on COVID-19.
“Like it or not I have to hold back from kissing my partner. Actually I don’t like it. What’s so good about having sex without a kiss? Kissing is sensational for me but since the COVID-19 pandemic I have had to endure it“, said Mekar, 25 years old (not her real name). Mekar is a private employee and has a partner.
Most think that kisses as an essential part of any romantic relationships or sex and that real passion is very difficult to be achieved without kisses. Some see it as a proof of love and proof of sympathy and probably think of it as very important part of reaching intimate pleasure. But can you have sex in the times of COVID-19? The answer is yes you can but how?
The obvious answer is to masturbate. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, in particular if you wash your hands for at least 20 seconds before and after. Or at least if you want to kiss and have sex, do it with your safest partner. Having sex with your close contact helps prevent spreading COVID-19. In the mean times, you should limit close contact with anyone outside your circle. But if you do kissing and have sex with others outside of your circles, you have to talk about COVID-19 risk factors, just as you discuss condoms, and other safer sex topics.
I met Ayu (27 years old) and Deni (31 years old) (not their real name) in the virtual website. They are couple and they do have sex and kissing at least four times a week. As Deni is hypersexual, Ayu ask Deni to not to kiss her but they have sex.
Ayu said, “I asked my partner not to kiss during the pandemic. It’s tough because my partner is hyper. He always ask me to kiss. I said “No”. He continued to force me. Then I said go ahead if you want to kiss me but if I catch Covid-19, you will also catch it. My partner occupied me for almost two weeks. At that time I had given up if my love life with him ended here. After two weeks, my partner called me and he said that he was hopefully strong enough not to kiss but he said that the sex would continue.” Deni nodded his head in agreement with Ayu. Deni said that it is their agreement.
“Like it or not I have to obey my partner. Currently the number of people without COVID-19 symptoms is getting higher in our city, Jakarta and we don’t want to be people without symptoms. My partner knows that I am hyper. I have to refrain from kissing before sex. It feels bland but I have to,” said Deni.
We are all currently fighting the COVID-19 pandemic. This pandemic is very dangerous because it can cause sudden death. Couples who want to have sexual intercourse by kissing should be avoided. Kissing is not something you have to do in a relationship. Love your partner and their family.
Dr. Wisnu Adihartono – He received his Ph.D in sociology (gender studies, migration studies, family studies, and Southeast Asian studies) from École des Hautes Études en Sciences Sociales (EHESS), France. He wrote the articles for journals, the book reviews and the short articles for the website. He is the author of the book Migration et Soutien Familial. Le Cas des Gays Indonésiens à Paris (French version only). You can contact him at wisnuadi.reksodirdjo@gmail.com or wisnuadi.reksodirdjo@outlook.com
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