Reviews
A Brief 2023 Guide to Dildos and Suction Cup Masturbation Toys
Sex toys are fun, but they can be quite costly. I’ve had so many friends complain that they can’t really afford any high-end vibrators or Lovense products because of the price. I can only get a dildo or two, they say, but isn’t a dildo kind of…average?
Quite the contrary; though it might not have the features of some other popular sex toys on the market, the humble dildo is still an excellent piece to use for self-pleasure. Both women and men use them regularly, and the current market provides tons of options for any eager user. In this article, I will go over the most common dildo types. In addition, there will be a brief section on how to use suction cup dildos, since I believe they might be the best entry point for newcomers to self-pleasure devices.
Different Dildo Types
Unlike a vibrator, a dildo doesn’t have different speeds, intensities, options, etc. (There are exceptions, of course; some dildos come with a built-in bullet vibrator that the user can take out). It’s merely a solid item that I need to insert manually to achieve pleasure. But even with such a simple purpose, there is more than one type of dildo out there.
Material-Based Dildos
Dildos can be made out of various materials, and not all of them are beneficial for us. As such, I can classify these toys based on how hard or soft they are. The most common materials for dildos include:
- Vinyl
- PVC
- Rubber
- Jelly
- Lucite/Plexiglas
- Borosilicate Glass
- Stainless Steel
- Silicone
- Wood
Of these materials, the first four I’ve listed are the ones I always avoid. Sure, dildos made out of PVC or jelly might be cheap, but they are porous, making them difficult to clean. Furthermore, they contain phthalates, materials that are harmful to humans. So, for high-end sexual pleasure AND safety, I always recommend the other five options on the list.
Realistic vs. Atypical
This distinction is fairly simple. A realistic dildo looks like an actual male penis, complete with veins, glans, foreskin (if and where needed), and even testicles. The purpose of these toys is to emulate the real deal as closely as possible.
On the other end of that spectrum are the atypical dildos. Sometimes, they resemble animal or alien genitalia. Other times, they will simply look like smooth rods ready for entry. Whatever the case may be, they don’t look like a human penis, but are designed to pleasure a woman nonetheless.
Suction Cup Dildos
Possibly my favorite out of them all, suction cup dildos are toys whose base contains — you guessed it — a suction cup. The basic idea behind these toys is that we can use them hands-free. All we need is a flat surface to attach a dildo to and it’s good to go. Other than the suction cup section, these dildos largely resemble other types of toys on this list design-wise.
Strap-On Dildos
Couple play is definitely possible with dildos, and strap-on variants help make that happen. These dildos, when outside of their harness, function like regular, basic sex toys for solo masturbation. However, their base is usually made to fit a harness and to stay there, so that the person wearing it can emulate penetration throughout intercourse.
Double-Ended Dildos
Also known as double-sided, these dildos have a glans tip at each end. The main purpose of these toys is couple play, but I’ve seen more than a few ladies use them for solo pleasure as well. In fact, a double-ended dildo is often flexible enough that it can be used for double penetration.
Pack and Play Toys
Now, a Pack and Play dildo might confuse some new users, considering what it looks like. It’s essentially a mix between a prosthetic and a strap-on. The whole point behind a Pack and Play dildo is that I can wear it under my pants as if it were an actual penis, where it stays “flaccid”. Then, once I decide to have fun with my partner, I pull it out and it gets fully erect and ready to go.
The main appeal of Pack and Play toys is that they are realistic couple prosthetics, meant to simulate an actual body part while the wearer is out in public. It’s an added layer of kinkiness that provides the user with hours of steamy fun.
How to Use a Suction Cup Dildo
While I have enjoyed every single type of dildo listed above, I always default back to suction cup models. After all, they are the ones that provide me with the most freedom, since I don’t have to hold them all the time during solo play. Of course, I recommend giving every dildo a try and figuring out what works for you. But for now, let’s focus on suction cup dildos.
Find the Right Surface
In order to make the dildo stay properly stuck, we first need to find the proper flat surface to attach it to. For example, a floor or a wall with tiny bumps won’t do, since it’s difficult to make a vacuum seal on such a surface. In addition, the surface has to be sturdy enough so it doesn’t break off during the act. As such, I recommend anything with tiles, a nice solid wooden surface, or even a mirror.
Start Off Slowly
There’s no real answer as to where the user needs to stick the dildo first. It can be the wall, the floor, the chair, the mirror, the bathtub, etc. However, the key is not to rush anything. Remember, the dildo is there to simulate a partner’s penis, so treat it as such.
Hand-Free Experience
With the dildo doing most of the work, we have both of our hands free. That’s an advantage during masturbation, since we can use them to stimulate my other erogenous zones. That will enhance the experience and open new doors when it comes to self-pleasure. And speaking of enhancing the experience…
Experiment With a Partner
A suction cup dildo is an amazing tool for couples. For example, if we wanted to experience the sensation of double penetration, or just a regular threesome, we can do it with a single partner and a suction toy. Furthermore, both men and women can use the toy while pleasuring the other partner, exploring anal play, or other interests.
Unstick Carefully
OK, this is a common problem with suction cup sex toys. There are times when the dildo just doesn’t come off, no matter how much we tug. However, the key is not to panic. Yanking too hard can either damage the toy or the surface underneath it. The goal is to keep everything intact and to get the toy loose for future usage.
What I would normally do in situations like these is get a flat, hard object and slightly lift a section of the base. Really, we only need to get it pried open enough to get some air in, and the toy will unstick itself. I recommend using a credit card, a butter knife, a coin, or even a sturdy spatula. Anything that’s hard enough to move the base but not enough to scrape the material.
Proper Cleaning
Yes, I stress this with every toy, but it’s incredibly vital to keep the sex toys clean. If we don’t take care of our suction dildos, mold can form along the surface, one way or another, and that can harm the ladies who might be allergic. A more serious threat is the bacteria that grow on the dildo that wasn’t cleaned properly after use. These microorganisms can cause various health problems if we reintroduce them to our bodies during our next masturbation session.
Dildos: The Final Few Thoughts
Again, I must stress that just because a dildo doesn’t have the clicks and whistles of other sex toys, it’s still a perfectly fine toy to use. One suction cup dildo, used properly, can enhance the experience of both solo users and partners for a long time.
Photo from Shutterstock
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