What I Love About Being A Submissive

Kink has always been a huge part of my life and is very close to my heart. My personal views towards life in general but also towards kink and alternate lifestyles is… Do whatever you want as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others…make sure everything is always safe, sane, and consensual. And the best way to do that is with EDUCATION!

You cannot consent to something if you do not know what it is, which is why education is HUGE for me with BDSM. I have played as a submissive for around 10 years, as well as worked on and off camera, as a professional submissive and done sex work in general for about five years now and I am always learning and educating myself further. 

How I Got Started Into BDSM

I have always been into the darker things in life. Growing up I would have labeled myself as goth, and truly saw the beauty in all things dark and creepy. I have always had submissive tendencies my entire life. It might have started from watching porn as a teen; my favourite starlets were Sasha Grey and Bonnie Rotten who usually performed in very hardcore BDSM scenes, and I always thought to myself, “I WANT TO DO THAT!”

It was my dream to become a pornstar one day, although life got in the way and I got caught up in the wonderful world of FSSW working as a professional submissive (but that’s another story for another day). I am back on track of achieving my dream to become a pornstar. My biggest goal is to work with kink.com and I’m hoping once the world settles down, that I can make this dream a reality.

Aside from porn, Tumblr was also a huge influence on me being attracted to BDSM (I met my first “online” Dom from Tumblr) and found many more pornstars, kinks/fetishes, and BDSM education from Tumblr (like links to books, videos, and other BDSM educators) and from there I found Fetlife (if you don’t know about it, Fetlife is basically Facebook for kinky people), new partners, all while continuing to educate myself on the subject.

My first real life Dom partner was someone I met online and probably a mistake. We both were not educated enough at the time, and a lot went wrong in that relationship. This is why I’m such a stickler for telling people that education is key to consent! You can end up in really horrible situations and get very hurt, if you’re not educating yourself before meeting someone and playing. 

Did Being A Sub Come Naturally?

Yes, I have always had very submissive qualities even in platonic vanilla relationships. I live to please everyone around me. I am also constantly told that “this is what I was born to do, I live to please.” by numerous people that I have encountered through out my life.

Even my parents say “I’m great at helping people and that I love to help people”. I’m just a natural born pleaser, and I always aim to please in all aspects of my life.

My Favorite Kinks & Fetishes

Some of my favourite kinks/fetishes are:

• Shoes (pleasure heels)
• Piss play 
• Pain play
• Humiliation / degradation 
• Bimbofication
• Cuckolding 
• Hotwifing 

I love shoes, I only recently realized that it’s an actual fetish… I love to wear them as a form of bondage and I love to clean and lick other women’s heels, I find it degrading to be treated as less than everyone else and to serve “real women” by licking their heels clean. Plus with my oral fixation, I love to deepthroat and gag on women’s heels. I don’t know why, I just love it! I guess it’s the degradation that really gets me going. Which is another big one for me.

I love being humiliated and degraded, and doing things publicly is my favourite. I love when everyone is staring at me and freaking out, and I guess I’m just an attention whore at heart. I love anything to do with pee play, getting peed on, drinking it, pissing myself, I love all of it. It makes me feel dirty and used in ways that other fluids just can’t LOL.

Bimbofication for me just goes hand in hand with humiliation and degradation, being a goth slut forced to look like a pretty Barbie, is probably the best humiliation punishment you can give me.  

Hotwifing is similar to cuck holding, except my partner is not a cuck. They enjoy watching me act like a slut and I do not humiliate them in anyway. For cuckolding I enjoy being the cuck, I like to watch my Dom or partner be with other women, it’s a huge turn on for me.

Lastly, pain play. I think it basically comes with the territory of being a submissive but I truly get a release and high after doing a very intense scene. It’s almost like an out of body experience and I live for that feeling. Just like an athlete, I’m always trying to push myself and my limits always trying to do better and achieve more. It really is like a sport for me. 

How I Explored My Limits & Knowledge

I’m constantly educating myself every day, as you can never stop learning. I am always watching videos, reading books, and attending events where I can learn more. As for IRL exploration, I only play with safe trusted and educated partners when exploring my kinks and fetishes.

I have a long distance Dom/Top friend who used to “own” me in the submissive term. However, the distance was rough for me and we only play together when we can now. However, he is the only one I trust right now to really push my limits pain wise and see how far I can go, and this is after years of getting to know each other and a confirmed list of limits, that we always adjust as needed.

Aside from that, I do have a few Domme female friends that have gotten to know me very well and I can always trust them to help me explore as well, and we usually play together at kink events.

Important Tips For Submissives

Please pleaseee educate yourself before playing. And by education I do not mean watching 50 Shades of Grey…. Actually, first of all, please wait until you’re 18+ before you start playing and exploring. I know it sucks to wait but that gives you lots of time to educate yourself and learn everything you can about BDSM before exploring in real life.

There are many great BDSM educators on YouTube now. Evie lupine being one of my favourites. Although online content is great for education, please also read books, and if you can find your local dungeon and take some classes. Education is key to consent because you can’t consent to something if you don’t know what it is.

If you make an account on Fetlife you can find local events, dungeons and education classes in your area. It’s a great tool to find events where you can educate yourself and explore. Please please please for the love of Satan, do not treat Fetlife as a dating website. I don’t recommend meeting people of Fetlife. Use it to find events and education classes in your area, and meet people that way (and then you can add each other on Fetlife of course)

But please, it is not a dating website so don’t treat it as such, and I can promise you the people that don’t follow this rule on Fetlife are not the people you want to be “meeting” or “exploring” with. There are dangerous people all over the internet, that’s why education is key!

Vera Lynn – Toronto’s favourite submissive fetish model. She ditched the 9-5 lifestyle to enjoy a happy life working as an Adult content creator, fetish model, and professional submissive. In her spare time She loves learning more about BDSM, attending BDSM / fetish events, and going to concerts with her friends.

For all my online content and submissive / kinky stuff you can follow me as Vera Lynn. I’m vl_fetmodel on every platform and you can find photo shoots and links to all my content platforms on my website VeraLynn.ca

Website: veralynn.ca

Twitter: @vl_fetmodel

Instagram: @vl_fetmodel 

Images courtesy of Vera Lynn

Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!