I have always been an “alternative” thinker. I’d say I was around age 19 when I acknowledged my own kinkiness and started to explore BDSM. Those were rough years; I had a lot of healing to do and in a major way, kink was an elemental tool in my own empowerment. Kink is really about expanding the realm of pleasure and expression and to me, it became a path that led me to finding myself and creating my own happiness.
I remember that growing up, I’d imagine eventually I’d drop out of mainstream society and live differently and I’m fortunate my passion for kink provided an inlet to do that. Through kink, I’ve not only found empowerment, pleasure, and financial stability for myself, I’ve made incredible relationships and deep bonds with people I’d otherwise never meet. In this realm, we’re working with authentic desire, which means our authentic selves. It’s beautiful.
What Is Chastity?
A male chastity cage or belt is a specially designed device placed over the shaft and head of the penis. Once on, it is locked (and the key given to a designated “key holder”) to prevent full erections. While locked up, you cannot masturbate or have penetrative sex, and the cage should only be removed by your key holder.
When a man is in chastity, one of the more common side effects is he becomes more attentive. He becomes very sexually focused on his keyholder and nothing else. This happens because he knows his release is controlled by this person, so the focus tends to shift to that one person. When he becomes aroused, he will feel the cage or belt against his penis. It can be anything from a gentle reminder to a vicelike grip. And whenever this happens, his mind automatically turns to the key holder.
Why Do Men Enjoy Chastity?
Being caged can be very exciting and fulfilling. I think many men enjoy it because they like the way it feels emotionally. They’ve given up a level of control to someone and they don’t have to decide anymore (this can make a submissive feel quite safe.)
Likewise, others enjoy the way it feels physically. With chastity, there’s a feeling of enclosure, every part or the cock is completely encased, enclosed. It reinforces that kinky headspace!
Some men just enjoy having a woman control their sexual behavior. One of the biggest influences is the tease and denial aspect. This tension increases as the sub realizes there’s literally nothing he can do about it. He’s forced to savor the moment rather than racing to orgasm.
Why I Love It
The power a key can give me is both physical and psychological. Chastity affirms me that my submissives cannot engage in active penetrative sex. Instead they’ll be more focused and attentive to me. There’s certainly a feminization aspect to it as well that I really like. I like that they can’t stand up and use the toilet. It’s kinda smashing the hetero-patriarchy in a way.
Mostly I enjoy the feeling of having power over my counterpart. By wearing the keys, I’m constantly reminded of that power. The continual heightened state of dominance – that’s what I crave.
Types Of Chastity Cages
There are, in fact, several designs to meet various needs or levels of play. (Open-ended, caged, partially closed, completely closed, metal, silicone plastic, etc.) There aren’t any definitive names – each brand or company makes their own. This is definitely something you want to spend a lot of time researching and there are many websites that can guide you.
What Subs Should Know Before Exploring Chastity
Communication is going to be key (pun intended.) In my experiences, chastity is a long-term game. For most of my subs in chastity devices, it’s a 24/7 affair-literally around the clock.
If you’re not capable of remaining in a submissive headspace for more than a few hours-you should ask your partner, before the padlock clicks shut, just how long they intend to keep you locked.
Witchy Woman – I’m an collector of chastity keys and coffee mugs. Florida lifestyle and online Dominatrix.
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