Tag: spanking

  • Why does spanking and corporal punishment turn people on?

    Why does spanking and corporal punishment turn people on?

    For spanking enthusiasts, even the mention of the ‘S’ word can trigger switches in the libido. Spanking fetishes go hanOTK_001 - Ad in hand with active imaginations and as an artist, I believe that art is one of the most potent sparks to human imagination. Put art and spanking into the same mix, and pow! It’s an ideal coupling, and spanking/corporal punishment artwork abounds in huge volumes, as even a casual search of Tumblr will demonstrate.

    Why is there such a proliferation of spanking and C/P art out there? I suppose the question should really be—what is it about spanking and ritualized corporal punishment that appeals to some people on a sexual level? And I don’t believe that has a simple answer. It is often not a purely masochistic impulse. The pain is essential, since without it, there is no incentive for the anticipatory suspense, the adrenaline rush of fear, or the release of endorphins as a countermeasure. For some, it is the thrill of finding pleasure in acts which are not meant to be pleasurable, a sort of forbidden fruit; for others, it may be a role reversal that helps offset power hierarchies we are forced to deal with in everyday life; for some, it is a release of the inner child; still others just enjoy the jolt that a smack on the buttocks sends through the body’s nervous system directly to the genitalia. (studies have actually been made that prove this to be true).

    I am not a psychologist and won’t pretend to sound like one. There are plenty of qualified opinions out there worth more than mine. Yet, in spite of clinical analysis, there remains a strong air of mystery over the appeal of spanking, and the many varied role-playing scenarios that surround it. Mystery itself has an irresistible and universal appeal, and the most enduring mysteries are those which invite exploration, but forever elude exacting, scientific conclusions. Spanking and C/P meet those criteria like a glove.

    As an artist, that makes the subject irresistible – not just as an exploration into human sexual psychology, but on a lol2012 - Apersonal level as one with a lifelong fascination for spanking. Illustrating the fantasies that a spanking fetish evokes is both a challenge and a cathartic release. I enjoy attempting to capture a particular moment, or suggest a story with a single image. It might be the husband who came home drunk at 3 am to find his wife waiting with a hairbrush in hand, or a still defiant spankee being sent to fetch a more formidable weapon, or a young lady who planted a Playboy magazine in her brother’s room so she could spy on Mom spanking him for it. To be sincere about art, I think one ought only do what appeals to oneself, and not attempt to cater to the viewer. Those of a similar mindset will respond, and the heck with the rest.

    That is why I only illustrate female dominant situations. Male dominant scenarios are far more popular, and I could reach a much broader audience through that approach, but reaching that wide audience is not why I do art. I would rather engage with a smaller, kindred audience. Whether it’s an angry 1950’s housewife, an outraged babysitter, a stern teacher, a professional disciplinarian, or a vixenish girlfriend, those are the iconic female images that never cease to awe, and perpetually wield sovereign power over whatever corner of the male psyche that resists the inevitable progress of ageing. Illustrating boyhood fantasies about womanly laps and deliciously stinging backsides keeps the inner child alive and the imagination active and healthy.

    Nobody has ever said it better than Jean-Luc Godard:

    “Art attracts us only by what it reveals about our most secret self.”


    All images courtesy of RedRump
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  • The life of a submissive wife

    The life of a submissive wife

    So … my life.  Well … today …

    I made breakfast for my kids, drove them to school, stopped to sign one up for soccer, stopped at the ophthalmologist to pick up contacts, went to the hardware store to get paint, came home and painted my child’s room. A friend brought lunch over to my home and we chatted and then I went back to painting. I picked up my kids from school, made dinner, took a shower, drove to a child’s activity, and got the kids to sleep. It’s now 11:30pm and I am relaxing and typing this.

    Oh but wait, this was about the life of a submissive wife.  Well … ya, that’s my life … and I am a wife and I am submissive.  Note, the above day—today—didn’t include noted interactions with my dominant husband. Well, he’s traveling for work today so my interactions were texts and a couple phone calls.

    So for me, the differentiation between my life now, as a submissive wife—not just a wife and three years ago when I was a wife who was a switch (for those that don’t know that term, it means that we switched dom and sub roles back and forth) with her husband of over two decades is almost imperceptible to the outsider, but meaningful to us. I typically wake up before my husband and stroke and suck him as a wake-up call.  As he finishes dressing to go to work, I slide out of bed, sit naked on the ground at his feet and put on his shoes and socks. I typically call him Sir, though sometimes not in public. He will tug my hair or grasp it tightly if he is choosing to be inconspicuous. He has no qualms about swatting my bum as I pass by or if I’m getting out of line.

    Last Wednesday, Sir came home to a very UNsubmissive wife. He walked in the door and I was frustrated with the kids, with the dog, with him … frustrated. Sadly, that meant that I was sassy and disrespectful the moment he walked in the door. It took all of about four minutes and he looked at me … with a hardened look in his eyes, he took a firm hold of my upper arm and marched me to our room.  He calmly shut and locked our bedroom door before taking me over to our bed and lying me over the side of our bed. When I tried to stand back up, he firmly put a hand on the small of my back and commanded me to “Stay here, Fiona and silence yourself, NOW.”  He had THAT tone in his voice and immediately spanked me, HARD, rapidly and all in ONE spot. He does that when he wants to make a point. It hurts and is in no way erotic in nature. He spanked me until my body responded and I no longer fought him …somehow he knows when my mind is better, when I’ve been able to let go, when I’m repentant, and when I’m settled. When he’s done, he requires a proper apology and acknowledgement of what was wrong, and he forgives and we move forward.

    What isn’t seen by others is that in private, I will frequently call him Sir or Master. As long as he is home, there are spankings frequently, at least once a day but frequently more and many with a crop or cane, not just his hand. There are sometimes choices in my clothing that he will dictate—i.e. “Wear no underwear today, or wear your cupless bra today, or wear this outfit today, etc.  I must ask for permission to masturbate and to cum.  He will frequently lift my shirt and play with my nipples or otherwise fondle my body. If I’m out of line and disrespectful, he will correct my behavior immediately. We have a very active sex life and it frequently involves toys, be them the new spreader bars He recently made as a gift for me, or a crop or flogger or nipple clamps or dildo or … I sleep naked with him and there are frequent fondles in the night.

    Through ‘Ds’, we have strengthened our bond. We had a good, strong marriage before, but in the three and a half years we have changed to having consistent D(Sir) and s (me) roles, from switching, we improved our communication, we are sexually more active, more creative, and more satisfied than we ever have been. He is so much more in tune with me, my needs and desires and I am much more in tune with his.

    To the outside world, we simply look like any other normal, straight-laced couple.  No one would ever believe that we are a Ds couple.  I am a strong, independent, smart, mother and wife. I also happen to offer up my power and my body to my husband, my Sir, my dom, my Master.


    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • The Art of Spanking

    The Art of Spanking

    A collection of fantastic original art by RedRump.  Watch out for his article on Spanking Art later this month but for now, enjoy and admire RedRump’s finest artworks in their full glory.

    FetchMyBelt - A
    Fetch My Belt

     

    OTK_001 - A
    On The Knee
    TowardDomesticHarmony - A
    Towards Domestic Harmony
    Your Turn - A
    Your Turn!
    A Job Well Done Final - A
    A Job Well Done
    Apron - A
    Apron
    BeautyandtheBrush2 - A
    Beauty and the Brush
    TheGirlLovesStripes - A
    The Girl Loves Stripes
    WOODSHED_1 - A
    Woodshed

    Images courtesy of RedRump

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  • How To Spank Your Wife

    How To Spank Your Wife

    Hi, DH here! I told Julia I had an idea for a blog post about how to give a spanking, and she asked me to actually write it! What follows is my best attempt.

    My beautiful wife and I have been practicing ttwd for the better part of a year now. Our understanding of what ‘that thing we do’ means has changed dramatically over time. In the beginning, it was just me spanking her, usually after she asked for it repeatedly, and then finding out that the spanking wasn’t long enough afterward. Things have since changed. Just a couple of days ago, I felt myself starting to melt down under the stress of working at home with a flaky VPN connection, getting ready to leave early to see my oldest daughter safely on campus, and some critical tasks at work that were hanging over my head.  I turned to Julia and told her I felt like I was ‘jumping the rails.’

    Julia: You’re not jumping the rails, though.
    Me: I know, but I am so frustrated!  Nothing is working!
    Julia: I understand. What do you want to do?
    Me: I … I want to give you a spanking!
    Julia: OK. You are the head of the house.  Why don’t you?
    Me:  Yeah, that’s right!  Why don’t I?

    I bent her over our bed right there and started spanking her as hard as I could though her jeans. She started whimpering right away—I really let her have it. After about 20 swats, my hand hurt so badly I had to switch sides, and then started spanking her just as hard with my other hand. With every muffled swat, I could feel my rational mind returning. Even before we were done, I had figured out a plan for solving my problems. That spanking made the difference between having a horrible, frustrating, failure of a day, and what it actually was: one of our best days ever.

    The person who really benefited the most from the spanking?  Me.

    We’ve both experimented. Julia used to make me work a little to get her to submit to a spanking, but noticed that I respond better when she offers her submission instead. This has changed the dynamic between us and strengthened our trust. We’ve experimented with rules, but I give her a spanking at least once a week, no matter what. I am constantly asking her how she feels and I read her blog to find out what her perceptions are after a spanking. I’ve learned a lot that way!

    To be honest, Julia started us on this journey. She read about it on TakenInHand and thought it would be a good direction for us. She was basically wearing the pants in our relationship at that time and was really tired of doing all of the heavy lifting. Looking back, I believe that many men have been unmanned by the feminism movement, to the point of disengaging with relationships because we just don’t understand what women WANT anymore. In my case, I’d also lost my job during the recession and my confidence as well. When she started pointing me at TakenInHand’s articles after we had the ‘spanking talk’, I started to realize the potential implications if we tried this in our marriage: what if one of us decided we didn’t want to anymore? What if I actually hurt her and she didn’t trust me anymore? What if I could never ‘do it right?’

    What if trying ttwd ruined our marriage?

    But I liked it. She liked it. I’m unbalancing my laptop on my lap just typing about it. We talked about various scenarios,about how we would talk about how we felt at each step along the way.  I promised her that if we tried it, I would always go slowly, no matter what. We realized an essential, permanent truth: once we started on this path, we wouldn’t be going back.

    So this is my little guide for seekers of information about giving your wife a spanking. While I’m writing this with the first-time spanking couple in mind, I also hope that most of these steps apply to every spanking.

    1. Take her in hand.  When it’s time for a spanking, gently take her by the hand and lead her to your spanking place. Tell her it’s time for a spanking to help her get ready. Be firm, but friendly. Strong, but kind. Patient, but absolutely unwilling to back down once you establish that this event, this spanking is on. I tell Julia to go get ready for her spanking, which can mean a particular pair of panties, or sometimes her whole outfit. I tell her to get a particular implement and put it within easy reach. I like to have her wait for me by standing by our bed so that she has time to think about the spanking coming up.
    2. Discuss safety.  Let her have a ‘safe’ word, or some other way to tell you to stop for real if she’s having a serious problem. Like everything else I’ve experienced in ttwd, the safety talk works for you AND her: it reminds you that her safety is important, and that you have her trust to keep her safe.
    3. Go slowly, always. Agree with her that it’s OK to have a light spanking that doesn’t do much, especially when trying a new implement. Most guys aren’t born knowing how to spank, so my advice is to freely admit that you don’t know what you’re doing right away, and try to set expectations accordingly. Our first spanking was nothing more than some light slaps on her ass that really didn’t amount to much. I take the same approach with each new implement we try. The truth is that I don’t want to hurt her, and at the same time, I want to find out where her limit is for the spanking. The only way to do that is to take a slow approach and give yourself plenty of time DURING the spanking to figure it out. There’s nothing wrong with stopping and just caressing her with your hand (or the implement you happen to be using at the time) until you start up again.
    4. Talk to her while you’re spanking.  I love to lecture Julia about why I’m spanking her, even if she’s not in trouble. I tell her about how much more confident I am at work, or how much I love the shape of her ass as I’m spanking it. I tell her when I’m switching implements so she has time to get ready for the feel of the paddle when I bring it out. Sometimes, I have her count the swats when I’m spanking her hard across both cheeks. On a few occasions, it’s been necessary for me to lecture Julia about rules she’s broken, which is the only time I will require her to answer me during a spanking.
    5. Always (always!) follow through. Until recently, I have been really bad with this. Julia has been very frustrated on more than one occasion where I promised her a spanking earlier in the day, and then failed to deliver. Not cool! For us, I think the best method is not saying anything about an upcoming spanking until I tell her to get ready for it. I can’t always guarantee that I’ll have enough energy at the end of the day to make good on a promise I made in the younger, fresher part of the day.
    6. Don’t spank angry.  Or, don’t spank her angrily. Even if she’s broken a critical rule (one of ours is that Julia may not leave the house without her phone), I am committed to letting the spanking do the work of correction for both of us, without needing to yell at her or punish her in some other way. The spanking itself is the way we hold each other accountable.
    7. Dominate her.  I used to make the mistake of asking Julia if she wanted a spanking. Looking back, it seems silly, almost like me asking her if I could go to the bathroom. It’s not her decision! If there’s going to be a spanking, I’m going to be the one giving it out, and I’ll be deciding how, when, and where. I will gently lead her to the time, place, and method, and administer the spanking. In one of our recent spankings, I had her turn around and bend over to show me her thong.  I let her stand there, bent over, so I could enjoy the view, while I lightly played with her ass.
    8. Warm her up, and cool her down.  This is really a style issue, but it could be useful for beginners. My spankings are typically 3 parts: warm up, which I perform with my hand over her panties, and then on her bare skin. When her ass is glowing red, I switch to an implement (like our favorite leather paddle), and spank her with that. I like to vary the tempo to keep her guessing about when the next strike will come, and also give her a little time to recover.  I finish every spanking with my hand again, which is the ‘cool down’ phase.
    9. Express your love for her after the spanking.  We usually end up making love after a spanking, which lets me continue dominating her. She’s been able to have multiple orgasms after we started ttwd, and I think the spanking heightens her sexual experience. I always hold her and make sure she knows I love her after spanking her.
    10. Listen and learn.  Listen to what she says during a spanking, and after. Let her give feedback on the implements you use, but make the final decisions on what you actually use 😉 Let her speak ‘out of character’ once in a while so you can have a frank discussion about where you really are. Julia and I love this part of our relationship, where we can step out these roles and talk about what we’re doing.  After all, we chose to pursue this lifestyle.

    What do you think?  What other things should be on this list?  How does a man successfully spank his wife?


    This article and all associated images within the article have been republished with permission from Julia.
    Please visit her website to view the original post and more.


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    Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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