Are you kinky?
You find out when the regular sex just doesn’t float your boat anymore. You begin to seek out alternative pleasure sources.
The more open-minded, willing, curious you are, the most chance you have to find what erotic desires, fetishes, kinky games to get your panty soaked. Being kinky is a bit naughty, almost socially forbidden and so freaking sexy (if you ask me). You start to explore new ideas in the bedroom by opening up your body, mind and soul for new erotic pleasures. You start to notice new things and desires about yourself. You feel to expand your knowledge on the topic try these few ideas for beginners in BDSM:
3 Softcore BDSM practise for beginners:
-Tie & Tease:
It’s a light form of BDSM sex. Ideal for beginners, because you can try without any particular setup or equipment. It’s a practice of one tying up the hands, legs or the whole body. It can be performed on the bed, tied up to the door or using restrainers. Tying your hands behind your back. Use a few tie and attach those hands to the bed. The one who does the tease would be the Dominant ( active person who is in control) and whom the bondage will be performed will be the passive or Submissive in this play. The dominant will tease the partner until a point where they get so excited that they could have an orgasm. Tease could happen by using feather, silk, wax or simply by touching the body.
The tied partner is usually stimulated repeatedly without relief. By carefully varying the intensity of stimulation, the passive partner is held in this highly-aroused state near orgasm. The tied partner’s urge to orgasm can become overwhelming.
If the tied partner is allowed to climax it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation. The tied partner may also instead be denied orgasm or be given a ruined orgasm in which case they will feel strong feelings of sexual frustration.
Extra tip: Use Blindfold
Advance tip: Use a mouth gag or/and some sex toys on the submissive during the scene to increase sensations.
Spanking:
Spanking can also be performed without no equipment, just by using your palms.
If you liked the test-drive with the hands, you could always get a paddle, wooden stick, crop, but my experience hands would do just fine.
How to do it: You can bend over to your partner’s lap. It’s super stimulating while you are spanking to have nasty dirty things said to you. Example: “You have been a naughty, dirty little girl/boy. You deserve to be punished. At this point, you should spank the buttock. Starting light intensity and as the sexual tension grows to bring more power into your hits too.
Tip: You can play a school-girl/boy-teacher scene here.
The teacher can drop the chalk down to the floor. Demanding the schoolgirl to pick it up, who refuse this. It will generate the punishment. Be creative and improvise. Keep talking and let your imagination fly so the fun could be greater during the play.
If you are new to spanking, always ask your partner, if she/he is okay with the strength and the way of spanking. It’s super important to playing safe and doing things that will bring pleasure to both.
Facesitting (eating out a girl):
This is one of my favourite BDSM activity. You can perform it together with a sensual tie and tease. Tie your man up to the bed. Rub your body against his. Stimulate his erogenic zones. Stroke his genitals, tease him with words and gentle touches around the body. Standing on top of him ( very empowering feeling, ladies!) spread your legs wide across in front of his face. Show him your panties under that short mini-skirt. Make him want to pull that tiny pantie away to see and taste your lotus flower. Be sensual, seduce and play with him. It’s your time to be in control. Let me know if he is going to be a good boy, but only then he might taste your juices. Keep eye-contact when talking down to him. Show him that you are a strong, confident, sexy women who knows what she wants. Man would go crazy from this. As in their nature to be dominant, powerful and now they all tied up in your hand.
Slowly squat down to your man’s mouth. Tease him more by touching rubbing your clit through your panties. Ask them: if he wants to lick or eat your pussy out? (Always use language you feel comfortable with!)
Be sure at this point they are ready to beg to taste you. You’ve decided how long you will keep teasing him. Once you feel willing to give in and let him taste your juices. Remove your panties, or just you can just sit on his face still wearing your panties. I would do the second option to arouse more the sexual tension and desire. Demand him to smell your pussy, but tell him straight if he still can’t taste it. You can order him to inhale your smell.
Slide your panties away and let him taste your pussy.
Be confident. You are in charge. You are the goddess who needs to be nurtured, loved and worshipped. You set the rhythm, time and intensity of this play. Have fun with it and let him eat your pussy like as a hot cake until you are so satisfied that you can move to the next step.
Advanced Tips:
Breath control play while face-sitting
Sit on your partner’s face, covering up all face, including the nose too. Count to 10 and release. Breath control if done correctly could be a euphoric sensation for man while licking pussy. ( For more advanced pussy eaters sit on it until he starts struggles under you!)
How to set up your BDSM scene / Fantasy Play?
What is a fantasy game? Otherwise, also called role-play. Where you and your partner create characters, create a scenario and play it out with a sexual outcome.
Have you ever wanted to be an actor/actress?
Here is your chance to shine!
It’s similar like attending a psychodrama class. You can channel your inner desires and become anyone for the act.
The most common erotic plays are the doctor/patient, boss/secretary, teacher/ student but you can create your own.
Personally, I got a fetish for suits. Yeah, as crazy it sounds I love dark blue suits with crisp ironed white shirt. It immediately symbolises status and power and brings eroticism into my mind.
BDSM is all about the power dynamic. You need to do some erotic experiments and see what triggers you.
When I play, I like to dress up as a secretary. The scenario would be that I’m negligent in my work and my boss catches me doing something else then work during work hours. He obliges me to his office. He commands me to crawl on the floor to his legs or ask me to bend over the table. Telling me how bad I’m in my work and if I want to keep it better try to please him somehow. Otherwise, he will punish me being such a naughty negligent worker. And the story goes on and on. It’s up to your fantasy now to complete it. 🙂
Corporate punishment (spanking) if done with ‘mindfuck’ could be such a freeing sexual experience! It triggers within me the need to please him and order to keep my job. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Don’t we all women, just born with a high need to please man? Why not make this human need a playful BDSM act?
Hope this article helped you to have a wider knowledge of BDSM sex and courage to give it a try!? Let me know if you do! I would love hearing about all it!
Keep safe and be Naughty,
Xoxo
Alexandra Holovitz is a tantric sex coach & hypnotherapist. She is known for her honest, passionate and authentic coaching style.
She works with high achieving men in their 40′ helping them to heal, express and empower thought tantra, mindset and self-compassion.
She believes in holistic healing (mind-body-soul) and by awakening sexual energy to thrive in life and business with deep connection, love and sexual liberation!
You can learn more about her work at www.alexandra.guru and connect with her via Instagram.
Follow Alexandra on:
Work with me: https://www.alexandra.guru/work-with-me/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/alexandra_guru
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexyliberation
Promo: https://www.alexandra.guru/sex-master-hypnosis ( this is a self-study Hypno bundle for more confidence)
Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!
