Sex can be defined in a myriad of ways; it is wonderfully individual. I believe sex is a beautiful way to experience human connection, something every one of us needs and all too many people are starved for. That’s the part of sex I love the most, the human connection. I describe myself as a dominant sensual sadist, and enjoy power exchange. In my opinion, the best sex is an unhurried erotic exploration of each other’s bodies.
What Is Pegging?
Pegging is the act of a woman using a strap-on to penetrate a man anally. The original definition is quite gendered. With different gender identifications, my definition has morphed into a person wearing a strap-on anally penetrating a person who has a prostate. When teaching about pegging, I often use the terms ‘giver’ and ‘receiver’ to hold space for everyone.
Why Is Pegging Enjoyable?
Women find enjoyment in pegging in a number of areas. Some women are able to orgasm during pegging, and that is certainly enjoyable! Giving their partners unparalleled levels of pleasure is a particular thrill for some women. Domination and power exchange appeals to others. In fact, more than a few women have discovered their underlying dominant leanings through pegging. Many women cherish the deeper intimacy often found through the experience of switching their usual roles during sex.
Men love pegging for a variety of reasons as well. Pure pleasure is often what motivates men to explore; their prostate is their G-spot. Orgasms achieved through prostate stimulation are often more powerful, long-lasting and even multiple when compared with regular orgasms. Taking on the role of the receiver and not having to run the fuck appeals to many men as well, especially those men who are expected to be in control in all other areas of their life. It can be a relief and a distinct pleasure for them to lay back, receive and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Men also speak of loving the deeper intimacy, and renewed spark it gives to their sexual relationships.
5 Misconceptions About Pegging
1. Men who like anal stimulation are gay.
Reality: the area of your body that you enjoy having stimulated has absolutely no bearing on the gender you prefer to do the stimulating.
2. Men who get pegged will turn gay and want a real cock.
Reality: there is no magic button in a man’s ass that when stimulated, suddenly causes him to switch sexual orientations.
3. Pegging is all about pain.
Reality: Pegging should never be about pain, If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.
4. Pegging is horribly dirty.
Reality: Proper diet and adequate clean out methods can ensure that pegging is a pretty clean experience.
5. Pegging is like pegging porn.
Reality: Feminization, verbal degradation and humiliation, impact play (beating), bondage, and CBT (cock and ball torture) are all lovely kinks if you are into them. They are not, however, inextricably connected to the act of pegging. Pegging can be sensual; just one more way to make love.
How Pegging Enhances The Sexual Experience?
Pegging can enhance the sexual experience in a number of ways.
Pegging allows partners to experience sex from the opposite side of the bed, so to speak. You get to experience your partner’s usual role during sex, giving you understanding and compassion which leads to deeper intimacy.
Pegging offers the thrill of sexual exploration and new experiences, including running the fuck for the givers and allowing vulnerability for the receivers.
Power exchange can be explored along with pegging, to any extent desired. The role reversal offers a chance to experience new roles in the sexual act.
Choosing The Right Strap-On For Pegging
That’s a big question. There are many more factors to consider when choosing equipment than most people think. For example, body sizes, harness style, prostate sensitivity, color, shape, curve, texture, realism, firmness, balls, vibes, etc. All of these are questions that need to be answered before purchasing equipment.
While the recommendation of a pegging kit is often given, I don’t go there. The harness in kits is usually uncomfortable, sits too high, made cheaply, and does not fit all bodies. Typically kits are used for a short time and then better equipment is purchased.
I have recorded a podcast that is all about choosing equipment, #102. I don’t even talk about brands, just all the considerations necessary to getting equipment suited to both partners. I advise listening to the podcast first, and then buying equipment from reputable companies that offer quality, non-toxic, and body-safe toys (Amazon sells the opposite).
Ruby Ryder -Ruby Ryder of PeggingParadise.com, is a podcaster, blogger, sex educator and a published writer of erotic fiction. She has moderated panels at CatalystCon East and West, been a speaker on the main stage at the BIL conference, and presented at DomCon LA. Her erotica is in Violet Blue’s ‘Best Women’s Erotica 2014.’ She recently appeared in an episode of Comedy Central’s ‘Not Safe with Nikki Glaser’.
She spends her time spreading the word about the singular joys of pegging, teaching, writing pegging erotica and doing everything she can to encourage a sex-positive society in which we can all be exactly who we are.
Get in touch with Ruby via email ruby@peggingparadise.com
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Article images courtesy of Ruby Ryder
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