Tag: Relationship

Does Intimacy Often Lead to Love? Why Dating a Companion Might Be Your Answer…

Insecurity. Hurt. Confusion – you might find these emotions splat in the middle of a toxic relationship. Usually, you cannot predict whether or not you and a significant other will end up this way, at least with not 100% accuracy. However, seeking a woman whose interests, perspectives, and opinions are ones that might not likely turn toxic in a relationship can be your best bet.

I see men that have this abundant lifestyle in their work and career, filled with many opportunities for them to grow financially. In contrast, those same men find it difficult to fall in love. The reason being might not be so simple, still, before any relationship should strike, a friendship must be established. I’m not talking about the kind of “friendship” most people perceive. Instead, I will be talking about a special form of it – namely, companionship.

What Is Companionship Anyway?

Companionship is a vital connection that provokes a sense of closeness. It can occur in different ways – platonic, sexual, exclusive. In my experience as a companion, I have travelled, attended events and even just hung out with my male friends – the last one being my most preferred. When you are actively and constantly associating yourself with someone, especially on a sexual level, you see a different side than most would.

It may come in the form of a personalized preference or maybe a fantasy. Through the process of opening up to what might seem like a stranger at first, can lead to a form of intimacy that one might not get through the traditional way of dating.

When you are actively and constantly associating yourself with someone, especially on a sexual level, you see a different side than most would.

A friend of mine (we will call her Stacy for the sake of anonymity) who first started dating a boy at her work, soon began finding herself unusually dissatisfied in her long-term relationship. After their breakup, she began in the world of companionship, mainly going on a dating website called Seeking Arrangements. While on a first date with a guy, they eventually ended up in the bedroom. What came up next was an odd surprise that the man was quite shy to speak about. Apparently, in his previous marriage, his wife would laugh at him because he wanted her to take up a dominant role and put a ball gag in his mouth. Stacy, being open to new experiences took up this fantasy. To this day, she still sees this man. In fact, they are happier than ever. I long for this kind of transparency, understanding and familiarity in a dating partner.

No two people have exactly the same ideas on sex. However, sex builds intimacy and intimacy builds sex. Now, we can say that companionship boasts the traits of intimacy – on an emotional, intellectual, and sexual level – as displayed with Stacy. Women already with this adjusted mentality of providing companionship to men also come with attributes such as openness to new experiences, non-traditional ways of thinking, and overall more tolerant to crazy thoughts or ideas.

I mean, wouldn’t you want to be aware of your partner’s dirty little secrets, or know how they like to be touched? Well…

Here’s a reminder that love is always out there, in the air, and maybe closer than you think. So, next time you look to experience a new kind of dating – try to reach out to a companion. You might just get surprised by this special kind of Woman.

Your Lovely Companion,

Miss Kate xo

Miss Kate – Hi, and welcome to the exciting and passionate world of my extravagant thoughts. To give you a sense of who I am, imagine a graceful ballet dancer who wisps away hatred & negativity through finding beauty in all things. My hobbies include literature, dance and fashion. Also, I look for the best in people, which sometimes leads me to interesting experiences. And yes, I do believe in fairy tales.

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April 27, 2020
How To Save Your Relationship From A Sexual Breakdown

Sexual breakdowns in relationships start slowly. You think and wonder, how did we get here? There could be a lot of reasons for a sexual breakdown, maybe you or your partner travel a lot for work or are always busy and never have the time. Many people have said that over time they lose sexual interest and it gets too “old” and “boring”. You might love the person forever but doesn’t mean the sex will always be amazing. Now the real question is – what are ways to save your relationship from a sexual breakdown?

Sexting – If you or your partner travel for business or work a 9am-7pm job and have kids or overall if things are lagging in the bedroom, sexting is a great way to spice things up. That’s where sexting comes in handy. Some people think sexting might be “awkward “ or “uncomfortable “ but sexting is an actual great way to get closer with your partner and keep the relationship interesting.

Sexting can be a great to keep in touch, find out more of what your partner likes, get back up if you and your partner are drifting, or even build trust. Some ways of sexting would be to take a hot pic/video of yourself and send it to your partner with a little message saying you’re thinking about them in a very naughty way, or if you’re at work, randomly surprise your partner with a sext saying all the things you would like to do to them, even if you usually don’t do those things when your actually in the bedroom.

Sexting has been proven by experts that it can really keep you and your partner more interested in each other over time and find out more about what your partner likes in bed and hype up your sex life !

BDSM – Have you watched 50 Shades Of Grey? Thats a great example of BDSM. If you feel like you and your partners’ sex life is dying out, taking a role play and using BDSM can save your sex life. I’ve had experience with many people that I personally know where after a couple of years with their partner, they just weren’t that into them anymore. You and your partner can try many things like using toys, trying different positions or different types of intercourse such as oral and anal sex.

You can spice things up by bringing in a pair of hand cuffs, some blindfolds, or maybe even a whip. Of course you should always have a safe word which will allow the partner to tell you to stop. If you’re new to this, watching videos on it can help a lot on what to do. Never forget to use some spanking or chocking, this will really spice things up in the relationship. Also ladies buying a new sexy lingerie to turn your partner on can never hurt. Don’t be afraid to leave your comfort zone and try new things, you and your partner can totally change your relationship in a amazing way.

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November 29, 2018
My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be His Sex Slave!

My boyfriend brought up the idea of me being his sex slave and I am happy to explore it out, but are there any boundaries I should follow that it does not go out of hand?”

It is nice of you to be open to pursue your boyfriend’s idea.

One thing about BDSM is that the main rule is that it needs to be sane, safe and consensual. That being said, I suggest you to read about BDSM and sexual slavery practices as much as you can and even explore filling a play list where you let him know, which practices you find interesting, which ones you might like and which are a hard limit.

Each other has their boundaries, and it needs to be something both sides agree enough.

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Marce Cruz implemented kink aware therapy on the private practice services and has worked mainly on web therapy as a Sexologist.

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February 10, 2016
Being in a 24/7 BDSM Relationship: A Submissive’s Insight

I think the kink lifestyle is a great way to deepen your relationship with your partner(s) or to spice up an already existing relationship. As long as everyone is being safe, sane and consensual it’s completely up to those involved. I personally think they’re great – life is way too short to be vanilla.

How my BDSM journey began

I’ve been in a BDSM relationship since August 2014, so a little bit over a year. My earliest fantasies that I can remember having included things like gangbangs and bondage so I guess I’ve always been a little kinky. I was first introduced to the world of BDSM when a friend of mine went into professional fetish modeling and my exploration of what fetish meant lead me into it, but it wasn’t until I was around my later teens that I wanted to include the Dominant/submissive dynamic into my romantic relationships.

Initial Challenges

Just learning how to stick to the rules and to be honest when I did break the rules. There were a few times I did duck out of being punished by refusing to tell my partner that I’d broken them. I also found that, although I wanted to give up control, it was actually super difficult to do.

What I Enjoy As A Submissive

Me and my partner have an enormous amount of trust in each other and I think a lot of that comes from the fact that we’re a D/s couple. When we play we really have to trust each other and communicate, so it’s helped bring us closer as a couple outside of play as well.

Rules in a BDSM Relationship

I’m the submissive in our relationship. Our rules are pretty varied and focused on both of our needs and well-being rather than the Dominant just listing things the submissive should or shouldn’t do. We have rules where I have to exercise a certain amount of times each week which is a rule I requested to add, and then we have rules where we have to be honest and open with each other so we can tend to any issue that occurs.

Of course we have some ‘traditional’ rules like the fact that I can’t orgasm without permission (unless it’s to do with work!) and that I should always refer to my partner as either Master or Daddy.

A Typical Day In My Life

I’ll usually get up, shower, eat breakfast, get myself all pretty and ready for class, go to class, go on cam for a couple of hours of film/edit videos or photos, and by the time that’s done my partner is around. I’ll usually ask him if there’s anything I can do for him or he’ll already have thought of tasks for me to do. After dinner we’ll usually talk on Skype and play something together or just have a good old chat. If I’m really good then we’ll have some play time and I’ll get to orgasm if I’m really, really good!

Tips for Couples looking to start D/s Relationships

Do some research. Don’t just dive right in. Don’t use a certain movie about a certain number of shades of grey as a reference. Start with something small if you don’t know what kind of dynamic you’re interested in or what role you enjoy most. If you’re both new to BDSM then swapping who is the Dom and who is the sub can be a good idea. Introduce some handcuffs into your normal sex or even some light hand spanking, then once you’re comfortable you can move on to paddle or crop spanking or rope bondage.

Before you know it you’ll have a huge collection of kinky toys! It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to be into giving or receiving pain and I think BDSM is misrepresented in that the pain aspect is a big part of it. Not true – you can tie someone up and tickle them, you can run ice over their body, you can dress up like a puppy and have someone walk you around – it’s not all about pain.

Just remember to be safe, sane and consensual and to communicate with each other. Always have a safe word during play, too. Most importantly… Have fun!

Erryn Embers is a redhead camgirl and porn creator from Scotland who is passionate about creating ethical, authentic and amateur porn. You can find me live on MFC & Streamate where I’ll usually be being my awkward, nerdy, giggly self. When I’m not online I’m usually reading manga and taking care of my guinea pigs.

-Aiming for Miss MyFreeCams #2000 in January 2016

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December 7, 2015
Is sex in your marriage getting boring and do new moms feel hornier after giving birth?

Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com.

We have collected your questions regarding sexual issues faced by married couples, and are delighted to have French Relationship and Sex Therapist France Licastro answer them below.

Qn: What are some common problems married couples have with sex?

Sexual communication is the common problem as women usually do not say what they like. Maybe bound by belief or shyness, and the men are not mind readers and cannot guess.

For the men: the will to have more sex but often getting rejected by their partner.

Qn: Are there signs a married couple can look out for that their sex lives are plateauing?

The plateau is reached when women start to be bored with sex in general, and the men’s sexual needs are higher and the women‘s desire digress. The signs are when one wants sex and the other is not interested in either men or women.

Qn: We’ve heard about married couples who have lost the spark in their sex lives after years of marriage and having children. How can they bring that spark back?

Bring back the romance which starts during the day with genuine compliments via a small SMS, a sign of affection: holding somebody’s hand, giving kisses when coming back from work.

Show gratefulness for any service done for each other such as taking the rubbish out or getting the washing done etc.

Dress for each other.

Qn: How can a couple resume physical intimacies after an affair?

Intimacy is based on trust, and trust takes time to recover.

Qn: Why are new moms so horny after birth?

I have never heard of moms being horny after birth and if anything, it is the contrary. They are tired and busy with the baby that so often, the men are left for themselves when it come to sex.

France Licastro is a French Relationship and Sex Therapist where she brings some of her French culture and helps people with issues in and out of the bedroom. She runs a private practice and gives interactive talks about relationship and sexuality on the Central Coast NSW Australia.

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August 16, 2015
Why Sexuality Isn’t the Whole Story When it Comes to Love
1. Love is lawless.
There are no rules. You make the rules and no one can say anything about it!
1. Love isn’t sex.
That’s just one expression of it. All relationships have to find an expression of love that best suits that relationship. And that expression is really nobody else’s business.
1. Love is unconditional.
When you love someone, you love who that person is, not what that person is.
1. Love is a container for growth.
It’s two (or more) people who are trying to grow on different but aligned tracks. It’s supportive and encouraging and honest. You can try new things and expose your pains and grow in ways you never thought possible. There are difficult times and then there are good times that make it all worthwhile.
1. Love isn’t dependent.
Love isn’t about needing somebody because you’re incomplete. Love is about recognizing that you’re whole and complete on your own, but that another person makes the journey much more fun. Love is about partnering up with somebody else to create something that’s never existed before.
1. Love is worth fighting for.
You have to get up and fight for your love every single day. You have to fight to love yourself as you are.
1. Love isn’t a choice.
Love isn’t conscious. It’s not something you can will into your life whenever you please. It will hardly ever come when you expect it to. It will hardly ever look like you thought it would. But you’ll know it when you feel it. It’s a feeling deep inside you that you don’t want to let go of. It’s a deeper, internal yearning that supersedes all reasoning. And, against all logic, you plunge full-force into this crazy little thing called love.

Edited to meet copyright requirements.
Reproduced with permission and thanks from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and Mike Iamele
For the full article please see http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15147/why-sexuality-isnt-the-whole-story-when-it-comes-to-love.html
June 13, 2015
How do you tell your partner that you have STD?

“I love you, but I have to let you know that, I have STD. Would you mind?” Be prepared for a cold shoulder and a sour relationship after you mention this to him/her in such a manner.

What kind of reply do you expect? If the person says “yes”, he/she looks like a jerk. If the person says “no”, you seriously doubt if this is just a cover up answer. In either way, the relationship will never be the same again.

Having counselled many clients who asked me the same question, and have even been through this at some point in my life, I only have one answer for them: timing and attitude is the key to this. You cannot reveal this too early or too late into the relationship. Too early will mean the partner can have an easy way out. What I meant by “easy”, is not just in terms of physical commitment, but it is also emotionally easy. Attachment is not so great and thus it is less painful to leave this relationship.

Bringing it out too late in the relationship leaves the partner with no choice. He/She has already given in too much to leave the relationship. The partner may take it negatively and feel cheated after the moment of truth. And of course, putting it across in an acceptable manner is important.

How do we know when is the right time? It can be an internal struggle between integrity and the need to be accepted. Trust me, the person in subject doesn’t feel good at all.

First, you have to be sure that this relationship is genuine and your partner does want to have a future with you. The intention has to be clear. It also shows that you have what it takes to be in a long term relationship with him/her and this truth that you are about to reveal WILL seem significantly less important. Before it gets serious, it is a good time to mention this to him/her. You are doing this out of consideration and you feel that it is important that he/she knows this before moving on.

“I really love you and want to be in a serious relationship with you. But there is a medication condition I have to be transparent to you. I had (this STD) (how many years) ago. It is no longer affecting me and it will no longer do, except when it comes to (certain times, i.e. child labor). I just need to be transparent with you, not because I need your sympathy, but I want to tell you that I made my fair share of mistakes in the past and I am not happy with the way it turned out. I hope you will still love and accept me the same way.”

This should do the magic. Of course, sincerity is always needed. Finding the right one is never easy. I do hope that if you have found this man/woman who will still accept you despite what you have mentioned, treasure this love.

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June 3, 2015
How Fifty Shades of Grey Saved My Marriage

It was a beautiful hot summer day and my wife and I were driving to a local wine festival in our community. There was nothing particularly special about this day except for my wife’s willingness to visit the wine festival due to her not having a fondness for the taste of wine.

Little Kaninchen and myself blend right into the crowd at events such as this. We are both in our early 40’s, athletic and both of us are successful professionals. Our children were just beginning to become mature enough that we could venture out without them in tow, just the two of us again. We hadn’t been on a date in ages, maybe even since pre-children, as sad as that truth may be.

As we strolled from one winery to the next, tasting almost every wine imaginable, we began to relax from the everyday pressures of life in general. About halfway through the event, we steered for a large cluster of Clumped Birch trees that were running along the center edge of the festival. The trees were offering some desperately needed shade from the scorching summer sun.

We laid on our backs in the cool shade cast below the Birch Trees, eating and drinking and laughing for almost an hour. It was the best time that I can remember having with my wife in years.

And then suddenly out of nowhere my wife said that she was no longer happy in our marriage.

LK and I have always been that ‘perfect couple’… I am sure that you have met others like ourselves, high school sweethearts that have been together since we were 15 years old and married at the tender age of only 18 years old. We were supposed to celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary that year.

For once I was completely speechless. I had thought that we had a wonderful marriage or at least a typical loving marriage.

LK went on to explain that she had read a book and that the book had really spoken to her. She went on to confess that this book has given her the courage to be honest with me but even more importantly, that it has given her the courage to be honest with herself in regards to her true desires and the life that she wants to live.

Again, speechless… I was certain that she had already planned, in great detail, her departure from our marriage without even allowing me a single opportunity to make things right.

My normally well calculated thoughts were now in disarray and confused. Before I could even utter a word, LK went on to say that her repressed desires were to submit to me sexually. If I was in a state of confusion at the onset of this conversation I was completely disoriented now and was almost positive that she didn’t know what she was saying to me.

I believe that quite possibly for the first time in our entire relationship LK had the floor, she was doing all of the talking with literally no response from myself.

It would be revealed during this conversation that the book that encouraged my LK to confront her true desire of submission was none other than the popular Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. While reading FSOG she began to discover the many similarities between the main characters and herself.

Little Kaninchen had spent most of her life trying to be what society would consider ‘a good girl’, which has an entire different meaning to us today.

The FSOG trilogy was not a how-to guide for a BDSM relationship but it did allow her to be introduced to a non-judgmental world within the confines of it’s pages.

My wife was drowning in our vanilla relationship that had become stagnant for many reasons over the years, all of which I will personally take responsibility for. Fifty Shades of Grey encouraged my wife to realize that she could confront the societal pressures and prejudice placed on what a loving relationship is supposed to look like. And more importantly what a ‘good wife’ is supposed to be.

Mr. Fox

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February 21, 2015
Have A Sexciting Vday
Have a Sexciting Vday!!

Life has been monotonous enough, and you are telling me that you just want to go through the motion this Valentine’s day with your wife? Come on!!

Do something out of the norm for you wife. How about a naughty evening for a change? Many times, women complain that their men do not spend enough time gearing thing up, or enough effort spicing things up. Guys, it’s time to take the lead this Valentines day!

Instead of paying a premium in restaurants and on roses, DIY everything YOUR sexy way at home!
1. Get home early to cook – in only an apron over your body to get yourself in the mood. Feel the air brushing through your skin and you will feel sexy instantly. Wait for her to return home.
2. Play some sexy jazzy music on the hi-fi. Humans are visual and audio creatures. Music gets yourself in the mood while waiting for her return.
3. When she gets ‎home, welcome her in that apron suit. Have a good kiss at the door before welcoming her to sit at the dining table. She should be very shocked by now.
4. Also get her to put on an apron, just like you. Instead of a usual gift, give her a sexy gift for this Valentine’s day. How about some sexy Babydolls? A naughty vibrator? Something that she will feel sexy in/on?
5. Instead of a ‎bouquet of flowers, how about a jar of condoms or edible undies?? Something that is really unexpected. By now, ladies already know what they are in for. The rest is up to your creativity to spice it up and create the fireworks that you want.
6. Have a good conversation over dinner. Please, gentleman, meet her needs FIRST!! No getting into action yet, let the sexual excitement build up through your attention towards her. Many women complain that they lose attractiveness in the eyes of their husband as they age. Proof this wrong to her through your undivided attention to her. Make sure you esteem her and edify her like you have never done it before. Even though you think she already knows, that’s not the point. She loves to hear it from you, again and again. So do it if you want what you want at the end of the night. Women love it!
7. Have some dessert wine (Ladies love them). Some alcohol makes the night a little more colorful. A little tipsy in a safe environment such as your own house is perfectly fine. In fact, it is so wonderful because there is nothing to worry about. Let yourself loose and let your heart take you home.
8. Have a small strip poker game or adult board game. You both have only 1 piece to strip anyway. It shall take you into action very soon.
9. End off the night whichever way u like it. It is time for your needs to be met, gentlemen. Make sure you make it memorable with a tight cuddle at the end. Let the tingling sensation linger after the fireworks to rekindle the love and affirmation.
So there you have it! Something different this Valentine’s day. You are free to add in any segment that fits your taste or fantasy. Remember, so something different, challenge your creativity in the realm of sexuality. I am sure you can rekindle the love between you and your spouse through a small act of creativity.

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February 9, 2015