The Prospect of Beauty was the theme for Singapore Writers Festival 2014. The ten day event was filled with a showcase of amazing international and local writers. Hidden among the varied panel events were gems of stories of established writers dealing with sex and sexuality in their works. One such gem was conversions that revolved around India’s social construct.
In the panel on Writing for the Global Audience, Ira Trivedi talked about her new book India in Love. The book tackles issues on marriage and sexuality in India. During the panel, she read a passage on sexuality. The reading recounts a sting operation on sex workers. In India, prostitution is legal. However those in the trade still fear of being caught as brothels and pimping are illegal. This fear coupled with the stigma of being a women, Ira describes how asking for sex service raises many red flags. She was turned down harshly by many “massage services”. Finally after several unsuccessful attempts, she was able to engage with one. Ira had to bring her husband along during the operation so as to disperse further suspicion.
Stories about the sex trade always draws attention. Many want a glimpse of this underground universe. However, there is a lack of open dialog for such taboo topics. In India, even a basic conversion of the birds and the bees is shunned upon. Ira mentions how her previous novel, What would you do to Save the World?, a story about beauty pageants had more male readership then female as the male audience genuinely wanted to know what women are thinking.
This issue on the lack of conversion was reinforced by Adeline Foo’s experience with expending into the India market. The writer of the popular children’s book The Diary of Amos Lee recounts that during her expansion process, the publisher requested that she remove all content that deal with sex and sexuality. This is because any open conversion will not be well received by the conservative country. They did not want a book that could resonate with many to start off on the wrong foot.
Another interesting disagreement which Adeline had with the topic on sex and sexuality was that when she received complaints that her character Amos Lee wrote about spiders mating ritual in his diary. These complaints were from concerned Singaporean parents. Coincidentally, Adeline’s motivation came about after a friend’s 14 year old son was caught watching porn. Adeline wanted to create a platform to introduction the topic of sex to her own children. During her research, she found that spiders’ mating rituals are very similar to humans. Unfortunately, due to the lack of wisdom from some parents to leverage on such a controlled environment, the passage has been taken out from future reprints of the book. Where is the middle ground for open dialog and education on sex and sexuality?
In a panel on Asian Feminism, Leena Manimekalai a filmmaker, poet and actor mentioned that there is a paradox in India’s social construct. India may be the few countries which have had a female prime minister but position does not mean power. Its patriarchal society renders any opportunity for women to be only skin deep. Burdened by the shame of its caste system, India has a long way to go towards gender equality. Leena’s graphic description on the state in India still disturbs me. It is still ringing in my ear.
When there is religious unrest, women are raped. When there is political unrest, women are raped. When there is any form of conflict, women are raped. Women are told to come home before dark so that they can be safe in their homes. But in their homes, their fathers and uncles will crawl into their beds and violate them.
We have not passed the point of victim blaming. Hence, there is a great void for the discussion for sex and sexuality, a need to promote healthy sexual relationship and the need to promote healthy gender and sexual identity. Only then can we see the true prospect of beauty.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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You need to adopt ultra-feminine behaviour. To help with this, I usually make my girls watch films based on the lives of transvestites first. A quick search on Google will pull up quite a few. This is just so you can see what it generally is like. Keeping a diary also helps by keeping those emotions at the forefront of your mind. Women are generally more emotional than men so this conditions the mind to become more feminine. It also helps to choose ‘womanly’ activities over the more stereotypical male ones. Maybe take up a form of dancing, or fashion design or baking is another popular option. It is also considered wise to remain in chastity whilst training. A number of devices can be purchased if this is required.
3. Beauty
had brilliant fashion sense when they came to me. Others, sadly, did not and required much effort on my part to become what they are today. It is good to start with the undergarments. I think some nice pieces of lingerie such as satin panties or a lace bra really make you feel feminine. But ultimately, you are going to want to compact the panties and fill the bras. Breastforms are something you wear to shape your bras and provide breasts without the need for surgery. They also come in different sizes which is very useful. Vee strings are something I learnt about more recently but basically, they enable the wearer to tuck away any ‘unladylike’ parts whilst allowing the user to pee sitting down like a lady. Some of my girls have even employed the use of a waist trainer to accentuate that desired feminine waist. Ultimately you want to choose the best style for your body shape. Styling for your body shape takes time, practice and lots of effort. Shoes are the ultimate feminine weapon. The beauty of a high-heel never goes unnoticed but again, walking in these can take time, practice and effort. This is something you definitely have to practice. I advise to start with a low heel and work your way up to the desired height.
