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Tag: Escort

  • What It’s Like Being An Escorting Student

    What It’s Like Being An Escorting Student

    Entering the world of escorting turned my life upside-down, and I mean that in a strictly positive sense. When I was a broke undergraduate, struggling to find a way to get through school without accumulating massive debt, I would have described the ideal part-time job that I was looking for something like this: very high pay per hour; self-determined schedule with no minimum or maximum commitment; no boss, choice of clientele; and of course the opportunity to enjoy oneself, meet interesting people, and form meaningful connections. I would have been describing it sarcastically (especially that last bit) – because I didn’t believe it really exists. It does.

    4+ years later it still blows my mind a little to think that it really worked out that way-that I finished my undergraduate without debt, and with a radical improvement in my mental health and quality of life after taking up escorting. I am so, so, grateful that it did.

    My approach to escorting has come a long way since then -I have lower volume and higher rates now, and offer, I hope, a much more mature and complete experience to my clients. It has led me down the rabbit hole of exploring the bizarre and beautiful nature of sex work, and sexuality as a whole in our culture. I no longer am dependent week-to-week on my escorting income, but continue to enjoy the freedom and savings it provides, as I undertake a graduate degree and dream of starting a business. Moreover, I continue because I enjoy it for itself-for the people I meet, for the pleasure I give and receive, for the memories, meaning, and growth we create together. Escorting is not just a part-time job for me anymore-it’s personal, it’s political, it’s a lifestyle.

    What Escorting Felt Like At The Start

    When I started was during the days of backpage, so that’s where I placed my first ad. I had no idea what I was doing! I used a shitty mirror selfie and blurted out my situation: something along the lines of “student, early twenties, no experience but open-minded”. I was surprised by the response: many people were immediately empathetic. They were interested, but they wanted better pictures and more information. I tried to provide it.

    It was probably still a terrible ad, but it got me on my way. I was scared ****less when I saw my first client, but felt such a rush after. The second meeting was easier, and the third was easier than that. And so I just took it from there, always trying to educate myself, and improve my brand and services. Bit by bit I got to the point I’m at today.

    Challenges Of Being A Student & Escort

    I think the biggest challenge, initially, was the internal struggle of dealing with the stigma of sex work, and living in fear of the judgement I might be subjected to if people I knew found out. That faded pretty quickly, though: when you’re actually in sex work, you realize pretty quick that there’s really no basis for the shame society places around it. And you also realize that with diligent discretion you can regulate, most of the time, who finds out about this secret life of yours. Today, I feel extremely proud of being a sex worker, and have found great joy in sharing that fact with a select group of people whom I trust.

    That said, I still have a lingering feeling of guilt when I don’t tell people the full truth about why I have to run off at random times in the evening and have a suspiciously high income-especially when it’s people I really like but am not ready to let into my secret. I have a ton of respect and admiration for sex workers who are “face-out” and will talk about their work with anybody, but, with the potential impact on my “civilian” career and education to be concerned about, I am settled into having a double life for the time being, and I have no regrets whatsoever.

    Is Escorting A Popular Option For Students?

    Great question. I’m actually not very well positioned to answer that, because I don’t know how popular it has been in the past. I was largely ignorant of sex work until I started doing it. What I would say, though, is that the stigma around it seems to be slowly but surely decreasing, and we know that progressive students are a group that historically pushes back the boundaries of stigma.

    There’s recently been a lot of media attention for, and acceptance of the ideas of “sugar babies” and “arranged relationships”, which are arguably on the spectrum of sex work. Students have been central to that. I have met, in my civilian life, students who have pursued that route. I wouldn’t be altogether surprised if in the not-too-distant future escorting becomes something some progressive students discuss more openly, at least in places where one is not putting themselves at great legal risk by doing so.

    Difference Between Male & Female Clients

    Any experienced escort can tell you that every client they see (of any gender) is totally unique, and they will try to appreciate the individuality of each one of them. Doing so enriches the experience for both the client and the provider. So, I am hesitant to categorize male and female clients themselves. But what I can do is compare the culture of sex work for women with the culture of sex work for men. Both of these are constantly evolving but are definitely distinct enough at present to make a comparison.

    The most obvious difference, in my experience, is the extent of communication expected prior to meeting. It is much, much greater for female clients. I typically exchange multiple emails, talk on the phone, and even meet briefly in public with a female client prior to getting together for our first session. I have always found this to be healthy. First of all, it assures safety, discretion, and good faith on both sides. Moreover, it allows us to begin the session with confidence. I am confident of providing the individually tailored experience that the client wants, and the client is confident of receiving it. And remember, confidence is a turn-on!

    I’ve gone through this process with many male clients as well, and I’ve also seen many guys after only a few brief messages. I have no problem with the latter, as long as I don’t have any reason to suspect that the client will be unsafe or disrespectful. There is a special allure to meeting someone you know little about-mystery is a turn-on, too. It’s definitely  a privilege for me to feel relatively safe meeting strangers, and it’s a privilege that many other sex workers don’t share. That said, I too have turned down many clients, mostly male, whose style of communication did not provide assurances of a positive attitude. It’s very possible that they would have turned out to be great clients, but I’m not willing to take chances, and I don’t want to encourage the culture of extreme informality in interactions with escorts. This is, after all, a profession, and thus some basic manners are expected of the client as well as the provider.

    Another difference is the nature of the services most often requested. Escorting for men is weighted heavily in favour of physical service over emotional service. I do engage emotionally with many male clients, especially regulars, but initially it is not often a stated request. With female clients, my sessions tend to be longer, and we spend more time talking, giving massages, and engaging in the very wide and wonderful range of activities considered “foreplay”.

    Now, I’m no sociologist, but it’s obvious to me from my experience that these gendered differences in sex work related to gender norms in culture as a whole. There is no doubt that it’s much, much harder and less accepted for women to find an escort experience suited to their needs and desires. I would like to see this change. This will require broad cultural shifts (which I am confident are beginning), but it also means that I, and other escorts for women, will need to work hard, listen and adapt.

    I would also like to see the two contrasting cultures learn from each other’s strongest points: many male clients, current or prospective, may be missing out on a depth of emotional engagement that they would greatly value but that the current quick-and-easy culture holds back. Conversely, I would like to see female clients, current or prospective, feel empowered and free of shame in their pursuit of physical services. Most of all, I would like to see all escorts and clients continue to build a culture of inclusion, respect, and positivity. As I like to say, “a rising tide licks all gonads”.

    Advice For Students Looking To Escort

    Do your research before you start, and make sure you’re ready. Set yourself up for safety and discretion. There are plenty of articles describing escorting “starter kits”, so I won’t go into detail here, but be sure to do your homework. Start slow and see if it’s really for you.

    Set your boundaries and find your niche. Are you the “bad” escort? The “cutie next door”? What services are you comfortable offering? What are your policies for communication with clients? You can always change these later, but what you want to avoid is a situation where you feel pressured into doing something you’re not comfortable with.

    Be humble, but don’t take any s***. Give respect and demand it. Be professional and punctual. Remember, quiet confidence is a turn-on. You don’t have to compromise your integrity to succeed in this industry, in fact, you are much more likely to succeed if you hold onto it. Taking up escorting is a brave choice. Own it, just don’t get carried away.

    Manage your work/study balance. Schedule yourself consciously to make sure escorting, studies, and your personal life don’t get in each other’s way. Of course, there is only so much time in a week, but if you decide in advance what time will be set aside for what, you are less likely to be stressed about it in the moment. It can be tempting, when the rate of pay is so high, to take on as many clients as possible. But remember that you took up escorting to support your studies, not the other way around. Of course, if at some point you decide to escort full-time, that’s your choice and it’s a great one! Just make sure you make it deliberately.

    Overall, I think the lifestyles of escorting and studying can be a perfect match. They certainly have been for me. Even if you have no intention of continuing afterwards, escorting can expand your horizons and improve your quality of life while you’re in school. It’s not for everybody, of course, and you should consider it very carefully before diving in. But if you do I wish you all the best, and I’m always happy to answer questions and share my experiences with those who are interested.

    You can reach me at www.intimacyunderground.com/in-touch as well as twitter.com/intimacybelow

    Dante – Hi, I’m Dante. I wear my heart on my sleeve, during rare moments that I’m not shirtless. I’m now a grad student by day, and have been a part-time male escort in beautiful Vancouver, BC, for over four years. I cater to all bodies, genders, and identities, because sex work is about people!

    Follow Dante on

    Website: www.intimacyunderground.com

    Twitter:  http://twitter.com/intimacybelow

    Tryst: tryst.link/escort/dante

    Other Works:

    https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-boyfriend-experience

    (a recent article in which I am featured)

    Article images courtesy of Dante; featured image from Shutterstock

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • How To Create A Real Connection With A Client

    How To Create A Real Connection With A Client

    Like many girls, living on the edge led me to escorting. After several years of attending university while working full time, my health deteriorated, and I relapsed into depression and anxiety.

    It was at that time that a friend introduced me to sex work, and I fearfully decided to give it a shot. The first time was challenging for me. Prior to the date, I was very nervous and nightmares kept me up at night. After the date, I did not understand anything anymore. I enjoyed the experience, and I felt so good with my client and, most importantly, with myself. I could not help but wonder why my predictions had been so terrible. I found myself slowly gaining awareness of the heavy stigma that I just overcame and its effect on my future in this industry.

    I initially started working at an escort agency. But when they failed to meet my standards and enforced abusive conditions on their girls for the three months I was working with them, I decided to empower myself as a woman and sex worker. I started meeting other workers and clients who would become great friends and offer me a helping hand in becoming an independent escort. It was then when I confidently decided how I wanted to work and with whom, that Anna Stephan was born. I met people who currently occupy very important spots in my life, and I have lived enriching experiences that would have been out of reach otherwise.

    I see this work as a path that can be forked into several directions. Being conscious of where this lifestyle is leading you and staying determined to build the future you truly envision for yourself helps to create the life most ambitious young women desire and breaks society’s stigma of who a sex worker is supposed to be. Sex work can drag you down easily, but it can also lift you up even higher. It all comes down to the choices we make. Most importantly, escorts are like every other woman and clients are like every other man. We are only human, and there is nothing inhuman about the services we provide.

    Reasons Men Engage A Companion

    Sex work is not all about sex. Personally, I have seen a bit of everything. But for most clients, sex is only one element of the greater experience. My clients tend to be men traveling a lot for work, desiring to enjoy the company of an attractive and intelligent lady. They are looking for a natural girl, someone who makes them feel as if they are on a regular date and agree to the terms it is based on. I always say that I specialize in the GFE, because it makes me feel the most comfortable. It feels natural as if we would have met in a bar or on a random afternoon.

    Importance Of Establishing A Connection With A Client

    Without a basic offline connection, my appointments would not work out. A mental connection to discuss common ideas, for example, can end in the strongest sexual connection ever experienced. Prioritizing this connection on a date is the additional value that makes it real and unique. Both escorts and clients deserve respect and sincerity regardless of the places in life they occupy. Relationships are what moves the world, and that is why I think it is so important to connect, influence and contribute to the lives of others.

    What Makes The Connection Work

    I believe that sincerity is the most important ingredient to establish a connection and a meaningful relationship with a client. Sincerity and empathy go hand-in-hand in consummating a successful date where both parties enjoy the best experience. Following the idea of “we attract what we are,”- if you as an escort stay loyal to yourself, you and the client seeking to be with you will most probably click, since the image you are projecting already represents your true nature.

    Tips For Aspiring Companions

    First and foremost, forget about all prejudice. Read and inform yourself very well and, once inside the industry, don’t be shy to seek advice and experience for yourself. Other sex workers can give you a thousand tips to build your business model, but don’t forget that it’s in the small details where you can stand out.

    The road to success does not start by following a pattern, it starts by being yourself. Being myself has been the best marketing, the motivation behind my way of working and, above all, the main reason why I have connected with gentlemen from all over the world.

    Anna Stephan – I tend to define myself as a calm woman with an engaging smile, self-confident and ambitious in life in the healthiest possible sense. To me, the path to obtaining my objectives is always as important as achieving the end goal itself.

    Follow Anna Stephan on

    Website: www.annastephan.es

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/msannastephan

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msannastephan/

    Article images courtesy of Mr Vivaz

    Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Misconceptions of A Male Provider

    Misconceptions of A Male Provider

    My personal views towards escorting and sex work in general are that it’s like any other job. In one form or another, we trade in labor – which is our bodies. There are intimate aspects of what we do that distinguish it from other labor. But I ultimately view escorting and sex work as a job whereby consenting adults have agency over their persons to make money in the  manner that they see fit. Some people are carpenters. Some drive buses. Some are physicians. Some are escorts and sex workers.

    As a cisgendered male, I am in the unique position of not having the work that I do be stigmatized as much as my female counterparts. That’s largely based on how society views male sexuality versus female sexuality. Archaic norms suggest that men have more sexual agencies than women, which isn’t true. Mature, consenting adults can and do enjoy their bodies in the same ways regardless of gender. However, culture dictates that male sex work and escorting isn’t as stigmatized simply because society doesn’t make attempts at policing the male body the way that it does women’s.

    How I Got Started Into Sex Work

    I got started in sex work over 10 years ago. I did as it was a means to allow to initially make extra money, but also afforded me flexibility in my schedule to pursue some of my passions, hobbies and other interests.

    I wasn’t in any sort of financial rut or hole in my life. The idea presented to me and it was a fun and enjoyable way to earn extra income. It’s ultimately afforded me opportunities to travel and to pursue some of my outside interests so it’s worked out well to date.

    How Are Male Providers Viewed Differently From Females?

    Male providers are viewed differently than female providers in myriad ways. But two that standout to me the most are regarding agency over our bodies and choices to engage this work, and also how much we earn.

    When discussions surrounding decriminalizing sex work are ever brought up, there are always the voices that assert themselves regarding “saving” or “rescuing” women from sex work. There’s the notion of sex work somehow being “degrading” or more “dehumanizing” than any other form of labor. But this is a trope that is specific to women.

    Rarely are male sex workers branded with the need to be “rescued” from this type of work. And that is a reflection on societal hypocrisies related to women’s agency and sexuality. Male sexuality is championed from a young age. Our sexuality and “prowess” are often lauded, whereby ideas of female “chastity” are ingrained across cultures for centuries.

    The other way in which male providers are viewed differently is almost a continuation of the same cliches regarding libido. Whereas women are viewed to be more “chaste” and sex is some sort of  “task” or obligation – regardless of the type of relationship – men are viewed as insatiable and always on the prowl. This in turn has a direct impact on what is suggested that male providers can earn. The trope is a simple one: Why would I pay a guy for something that the majority are itching to give away? On average male providers earn significantly less. And where I once thought that as empowering for women, I now view it as an extension of the same attitudes that police women’s bodies and sexuality. It infantilizes women by suggesting that they don’t have the capacity to enjoy sex and intimacy in the ways that men do. So it’s a contradiction in a lot of ways that is readily embraced by never given any critical thought.

    My experience is that most of my female colleagues with a sense of self view themselves as sex positive are equal to me in regards to their own sexuality. They enjoy sex just as much as myself or any other male counterparts. But the myth that there should be no value in male provider services because there’s such an abundance of men willing to “give it away for free” is pretty common. It has a direct impact on how people view rates for male providers.

    Misconceptions Of Male Providers

    Perhaps a typical misconception that you hear regarding male providers might be aggression and attitudes towards female clients. I say it’s a misconception, as it doesn’t relate to me or any of my male colleagues that I’ve met over the years. Whether that I know personally or in passing.

    They all exhibit professionalism and kindness as well as the being respectful of boundaries. That’s important for all parties involved, both clients and providers.

    Tips For Aspiring Male Providers

    My advice to anyone interested in pursuing this sort of work is to know yourself and your boundaries. It’s important to know what you are comfortable with and what you might enjoy prior to embarking on this sort of work. The money can appear enticing, but money isn’t everything. Having a strong sense of self will keep you grounded and help to avoid any pitfalls. That holds true in my of life, but where we mix intimacy and commerce I feel that it’s key to consider.

    Your interests can certainly change and grow as you become more comfortable or are exposed to more aspects of sex work. But always remain aware and certain regarding your boundaries. This type of work can be lots of fun and also a good way to explore and engage the human condition. But being grounded in oneself prior to embarking on this work has proven to be a key.

    David Williams – I am both a Male Dom as well as an escort/ companion. I see all genders and all body types. I also offer companionship for those seeking company in a more traditional capacity. You can find out more about me at my website links.

    Follow David Williams on

    Website:

    www.theblackdom.com

    www.nycmaleescort.com

    www.vipblackmalescort.com

    NiteFlirt: www.niteflirt.com/DaveTheBlackDom

    Photo courtesy David Williams

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  • How To Be Your Escort’s No 1 Favourite Client

    How To Be Your Escort’s No 1 Favourite Client

    Adult services brings unique individuals together, whatever their preferences. It can be perfect for modern gentlemen and ladies who know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.

    So, whatever your heart desires if you’re in search of a fabulously sensual experience it helps to learn the right etiquette when connecting with an escort.

    If you want to be a great client and who doesn’t, understanding what to do and what not to do are fundamental to the ultimate service experience. Take the time to discover what makes a great client!

    Step 1. Do Your Due Diligence

    Wherever you happen to discover your escort, research him or her. Does he or she have a website? How long has your escort been listed? Similarly, expect your preferred escort to prefer to screen you for their own safety. Take a breath, be respectful and provide whatever information is required to seal the deal.

    Step 2. Time Is Money

    Try to be punctual. Telephone if you look like being more than 10 minutes late. Unless you provide your escort with advance notice of a time change, you can expect to pay for any time you missed. If your one-hour appointment was meant to start at 8:00pm and you arrived at 8:15, you still need to leave at 9:00pm.

    Respect your escort’s time. Don’t linger. Like the rest of us working stiffs, he or she is probably on a schedule. If you would like more time, ask. If the answer is “Yes” expect to pay for it at the previously agreed rate.

    Step 3. Check The Menu

    Always understand what services are available in advance and what the rates are. Do not deviate from it or expect something for nothing. Familiarise yourself with escort code. Expect to encounter abbreviations like, CIM, CIF Greek, GFE or PSE. As always, Google is your friend and be sure to check beforehand.

    Step 4. Don’t Do Dumb Things

    Never ever, ever discuss money, sexual acts or preferences in person. This is for your own safety! If it is a sting, the boys and girls in blue will attempt to coerce you to say out loud precisely what you are there for. This is why online ads, email and messaging services exist! When in doubt, suggest your escort get more comfortable. If they comply, it’s a go!

    Step 5. Money Before Pleasure!

    You’re not buying a car here, there’s no such thing as trying before you buy. The money thing happens first, always! Never refer directly to it. If you have to, call it a gift. Similarly, never hand the money directly to your escort. Place it somewhere they can see it, or wherever you agreed to beforehand.

    Step 6. Class Shows

    Show some class, treat your escorts nicely and be respectful. Your escort is a real person. You shouldn’t feel intimidated and nor should you feel superior.

    Step 7. Its Not The Sexual Olympics

    There’s no expectation you will be a god in the bedroom. Your escort is there to please you. Don’t hold back because you want to last for your escort. This can end in tears. There is no pressure to perform.

    Step 8. It’s OK To Just Leave

    Your escort is unlikely to be offended if you need to leave right afterwards. Time is money after all. If you need to get back to the office, or cuddling or idle conversation isn’t your thing, that’s OK too.

    Step 9. Always Tip

    We live in a service economy, so always tip unless they were crap. Tipping signals your escort that you liked them and you appreciate their time and skills. This is particularly crucial if you wish to see the same escort again. Also, if you went for a twofer, tip extra lavishly!

    Step 10. Offer A Review

    Afterwards, check with your escort of they would like to be reviewed. If yes, keep it simple, you’re not writing an essay and don’t fake it.

    Step 11. The Shower Is Also Your Friend

    Cleanliness not only gets you laid, it gets you welcomed back. Make sure you are clean! Deodorant was invented for a reason unless you really want to be the “Smegma-Guy.”

    Bonus Point

    Bring a gift or wine.

    Double Bonus Points

    Buy your escort drinks or dinner first but remember you are on the clock!

    Featured photo courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • What Is The Girlfriend Experience Like

    What Is The Girlfriend Experience Like

    To me, the girlfriend experience is the connection and rapport you have with someone. To have fun, talk and connect sexually and physically. It’s a great experience for me because it adds another level to our time together.

    GFE Misconceptions

    I think the biggest misconception about the GFE is it stands for kissing and OWO. It’s a much bigger experience than just that.

    Appeal Of The GFE

    My clients choose a GFE because they want total relaxation and enjoyment. Our time together should flow naturally and enjoyably, without the feeling you’re paying a lady to be with you.

    What Is Important For A Successful GFE

    For a lady to make the GFE successful, you are naturally warm, attentive and personable. To take real enjoyment out of what you’re doing and experiencing.

    Lauren Banks – Experienced high end Escort Companion. I am naturally a very warm and attentive person, my touch is soft and gentle; making the most of every moment and taking exquisite care in giving and receiving pleasures!

    Follow Lauren Banks on

    Website: www.lauren-Banks.com

    Article images courtesy of Lauren Banks

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  • Tips For Aspiring Sex Workers

    Tips For Aspiring Sex Workers

    It should go without saying that I’m a huge supporter of a woman’s right to do whatever she’d like with her body, including participating in sex work. I’ve been in the industry on and off for about five years now and it was originally a means of survival for me. My mental health was at an all-time low after I graduated University. Depression and anxiety were taking over my life and I couldn’t hold down a “regular” 9-5 job because getting out of bed or taking care of myself was simply impossible some days. Sex work saved my life during this period. I was working with an agency and it was great being able to support myself during such an emotionally and financially difficult point in my life.

    I took a break for a few years but now I’m back in the industry from a healthier place. I have a “regular” job now but I enjoy sex work too much to give it up. The main difference is I work independently now and I’ve never felt more empowered. I love being in charge of who I see, when I see them, what we do and how much I take home at the end of the day. I have made so many genuine friends and connections through sex work and met so many amazing men and women who I’d otherwise have never had to chance to get to know.

    I’m tired of society painting us with a wide paintbrush and saying we’re all victims or that sex work shouldn’t be decriminalized. Who exactly are we hurting by doing the work that we do? Contrary to what society would have you believe, the industry is NOT just junkies and trafficking victims. Countless women choose sex work as a career and actually enjoy it, from the extra money to the extra free time and flexibility it affords, to the connections that are formed.

    Sex work is like any other form of labor to me and deserves to be seen as such. To those who see it as demeaning: I personally don’t see anything especially empowering about working minimum wage retail or food service and struggling to get by, but it’s up to each person to choose their own path. Sex work is not for everyone, but it certainly deserves the respect of everyone.

    Things I Wished I Knew Before Starting Out

    I wish I’d transitioned into working independently sooner. I was intimidated by the idea of it when I first began, but now I can’t imagine ever working for an agency again. It’s just not for me. There are certainly positives to working for an agency: it was nice having incall locations available last minute, as well as having a driver and free photoshoots and advertising, but having the agency take almost half of my earnings got really old really fast. I wish I’d done my research and had the confidence to be my own boss sooner.

    I also wish someone had told me it was okay to say no. I started out with the mindset that since the gentlemen were paying for my time, that I had to do whatever they wanted during our time together to keep them happy and wanting to come back again. I endured way too many clients who were either under the influence of drugs or alcohol, which made me uncomfortable, or those who had bad hygiene, or those who’d pressure me for my real name and personal details I was not comfortable sharing. At the agency I worked for, we’d never discussed how to turn down a client which made me feel like it wasn’t okay to turn down a client.

    How It Felt Like Initially

    I was so nervous on my very first day! It was Halloween night and I had no idea what to expect. I was with an agency, so the driver picked me up at home and dropped me off at the incall location, which was a condo building in downtown Toronto. Luckily my first client was very nice. I shared with him that it was my first time and he thankfully took charge of the situation — I love when dates do this in my personal life as well. He did not become a regular of mine, but we had a lovely time together.

    How To Stand Out & Be Unique

    All you can really do is be yourself. Ultimately, if you try too hard or come up with a gimmick to stand out, it’s going to get you noticed but for all the wrong reasons. Personality wins every time. Just be yourself on your social media and website, and when interacting via email. Don’t feel like you have to curate yourself, because when you meet that client in the real world, they’re going to see who you really are anyway.

    Don’t let them fall for an illusion or some photoshopped pictures. It’s okay to listen to Taylor Swift instead of classical. It’s okay to like beer instead of whiskey. It’s okay to not be the “cool girl”. These gentlemen are paying for time with YOU, not with a false and idealized version of you.

    How I See The Escorting Industry Evolving

    I hope the industry continues to evolve and I hope the stigma surrounding sex work and sex workers begins to fade. It’s an honest job and should be seen as such. We are not just selling sex. We are selling our time, our energy, our companionship, a tender touch, a devilish glance, an escape from your real life and a vacation into the dreamworld we’ve created for you. We’re selling a collection of uncrushed moments you can replay in your mind for a lifetime after our time together is actually over.

    I’d also like to change the way certain sex workers see their peers who are perhaps not doing as well as they are. It’s great if you’re a high-end companion and going on extravagant trips and receiving luxury gifts, but please, don’t look down on those who are working the street, working out of their cars, or offering quickie sessions or lower rates. At the end of the day, we are all sex workers and we have to stand by each other if we’re ever going to survive as an industry. Society is already trying to dismantle us — let’s not help them by creating divides between us.

    7 Tips For Aspiring Sex Workers

    Don’t get into this industry expecting it to be easy money. It’s a lot of work behind the scenes, especially if you’re working independently without the assistance of an agency. You need to build a website, you need quality photos and constantly updated photos — I’d say hire a professional photographer who is sex-worker-friendly for your initial photos, but also invest in a selfie stick and tripod. They’re cheap and they’re a great way to update your site or your socials with new pictures, without spending an arm and a leg.

    Figure out what your rates will be! Have a look at what other providers in your area are charging. Remember: it’s always easier to raise your rates than to lower them. And work that new-girl energy!

    Be active on social media. Don’t just post ads — actually engage in conversations and let your personality shine through. A lot of clients will lurk your social media for awhile to get a feel for who you are, and they can’t do that if all you’re posting is ads. I personally prefer switter.at and twitter.com

    Decide whether you’ll be offering both incall and outcall service, and, if you’re offering incall, will you host in your own space or will you go the route of Airbnb and hotels? If you are in a larger city like New York or San Francisco, find apps that will offer you cheap day rates or pay-per-minute. They’re out there and they exist.

    Will you be touring? This is a great way to expand your network of clients, and also a nice way to see more of the world if you’re so inclined. Sign up for an air miles card and / or a hotel loyalty card that offers rewards when you use them. Research online beforehand to see which hotels are more provider-friendly. For discretion, I tend to choose large hotels where everyone just blends in.

    Screening! Figure out how you’re going to make sure your potential new client is a safe client. I like to get at least two references from past providers. Get familiar with the blacklist sites for your area as well. Will you be seeing newbies who do not have past provider references? That’s fine, just make sure you have other ways to thoroughly screen, such as: getting their full legal name, government ID, real-world employment information, and go from there.

    Don’t forget to also take care of yourself. It’s easy to get burnt out when your job revolves around taking care of others, but it’s like the airplane adage that everyone repeats these days: you need to put your own mask on before helping others. Take a day off, or take a week off. Check in with yourself regularly and don’t be afraid to turn down a date if you need that extra you-time.

    Hadley Darling – Hadley Darling is a companion based in Toronto, Canada, but also tours regularly to visit her friends worldwide. She graduated from university with a major in Communications, minor in English, but now chooses sex work instead, because of the companionship, income, and free time it affords her to do other good things, like volunteering with animals and the less fortunate. When she’s not on dates with refined gentlemen, she can usually be found experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen, tending to her garden, binge watching Law and Order SVU, or fawning over her kitty.

    Follow Hadley Darling on

    Website: http://hadleydarling.wixsite.com/home

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/DarlingHadley

    Switter: https://switter.at/web/accounts/59607

    Article images courtesy of Hadley Darling

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  • How Is Escorting and Mental Health Linked?

    How Is Escorting and Mental Health Linked?

    I have been escorting now for nearly two years and think it has been a very liberating experience. It allows women like myself to take full control over our work, life and financial choices which are almost impossible to have in a normal 9-5 job. Because of this, escorting can be incredibly empowering and allows women to have opportunities that are denied in ‘normal society ‘.

    Is There Any Correlation Between Escorting & Mental Health?

    I don’t believe escorting itself can cause mental health issues, however, I do believe that the stigma escorts face on a daily basis causes unnecessary stress.

    A lot of people wrongly promote the idea that all escorts are troubled in some way which instead of helping SWs, just spreads misconceptions about our industry.

    Contributing Factors That Affect The Mental Health Of Escorts

    Because sex work is still seen as taboo, a lot of SWs have to lie to friends and family which causes huge amounts of stress and anxiety. Loneliness is also a big factor, many escorts work alone with only online friends to talk to and this can be very isolating.

    Another factor is being self employed in a very competitive online environment, there is constant pressure to work longer hours, take better photos and have a bigger presence.

    Is There A Difference Working Independently & For An Agency?

    I think working independently, whilst making more financial sense, is a lot harder than being attached to an agency because you don’t have any support or back up when finding clients, screening clients etc. However, working for an agency can mean working for unscrupulous people on very inconvenient hours. I think both independent and agency escorts face the same mental health challenges.

    Does Making Escorting Legal Help Escorts Have Better Mental Health?

    Yes! Escorts would be free to be honest with doctors and health professionals and state exactly what they need without fear of repercussions. They would feel safe approaching the police and financially would not have the stress of worrying about how to approach banks to handle their earnings.

    What Can An Escort Turn To If She Is Down?

    I’m very lucky in that I have a couple of close friends whom I can talk to and meet up with but a lot of escorts don’t have that luxury. I would talk to other escorts online, use forums or if you can, go to a trusted health professional.

    I would also suggest taking regular breaks, turning your phone off when not available and pampering — going for a massage or doing ‘normal’ things like going to the cinema or finding a meaningful hobby. Having a healthy separation between work and me time is essential.

    Advice For Those Keen To Go Into Escorting

    Escorting is not an easy job and it takes patience, assertiveness and a genuine enjoyment of the job. If done right, it can be very rewarding. My main piece of advice would be to work on your own terms with what you feel comfortable with. If you want to be porn star escort, goth escort or a no make-up jeans and t-shirt escort, go for it. Don’t be put under pressure to pretend to be someone you’re not.

    Estella Brown – Estella Brown is a London based Escort. She is also a writer, a lover of vintage lingerie and an avid Twitterer.

    Follow Estella Brown on

    Twitter: @EstellaInLondon

    Website: www.estellabrown.com

    Email: Contactestella@protonmail.com

    Article images courtesy of Estella Brown; featured image from Shutterstock

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  • Satiating your Lust: Does Your Escort Truly Know How To Please You?

    Satiating your Lust: Does Your Escort Truly Know How To Please You?

    With over 60,879 females and 44,085 males working within the escorting industry in the UK alone, you may naturally start to feel a little overwhelmed when you start to scroll through the internet in order to locate perfect companion. Whether you have gone online to find an escorting agency or have heard through word of mouth that a local independent escort truly knows how to please, you need to make sure that your companion knows how to fully satisfy you and all of your desires.

    Sometimes an unsuccessful date with an escort can emerge just because you and your companion just are not suited to each other. Your personalities might just not merge together or you may just not feel comfortable enough to express all of your sexual desires when you arrive at a hotel room together. What matters is that you take your time and truly get to know your companion. If there is something that you do not like then let her (or him) know as fast as possible. Never keep this knowledge to yourself!

    Have You Picked The Right Category Of Escort?

    Everyone knows that human sexuality is something that is very difficult to be pinned down. You cannot define it solely as one sort of sexual interest or flame. Not when there are so many fetishes out there that some people even choose to make a part of their lifestyle. These fetishes can be softcore or even extremely hardcore. The categories of these fetishes tend to fall under:

    • Roleplay Fetishes
    • Costume Fetishes
    • Body Part Fetishes

    What is important about meeting an escort to address these fetishes is that you remain honest about them. Your escort will not judge you on them, but they will judge you if you decide to keep something secret from them. Your companion is an experienced adult worker and will have interacted with a whole range of fetishes and strange requests. This means that there is genuinely nothing left that will surprise her. If she is uncomfortable about your request then she will certainly not be keeping it a secret from you.

    One of the worst things that could happen during a meeting with an escort is to begin being intimate, but then again having no satisfaction from the encounter. If you are not completely honest about what you want then you may find that your companion just will not be able to fully satisfy you. Whilst you can request for small changes to be made during the date, if you suddenly request a whole new fetish or sexual request to be added to the date, you may suddenly find that your request is denied. If you cannot pay for this action, or your companion simply does not have the time to compare for it, you will simply leave the date feeling worse than when you first met your beautiful companion.

    So always be open and honest about the things you want and expect from your escort. If your escort simply cannot please you, or if you find that she/he is a little amateur at best with their sexual prowess, there is no harm in stopping the date or just not booking with her in the future. Your escort should be worth her rates, so if you do not like her, then do not just keep going back to her. Find someone new who will genuinely be able to please you.

    What Is Your Attitude Towards Your Escort?

    Forming a relationship with a beautiful escort is one that is based upon respect and trust. After all, you are putting your fetishes and deepest sexual desires in her hands. You expect her to retain your privacy and make you feel calm before you undertake to satisfy your hidden kinks.

    The last thing that needs to happen on a date is either party making the other feel uncomfortable due to their attitude or commentary. The high-end escorts all know that the best way to gain loyalty from their clients is to remain optimistic and accepting of all sexualities and fetishes. That way, a client who may lack the self-confidence to fully accept themselves will feel warm and welcome. They will feel like they are normal people and an escort’s encounter may even bring them the confidence needed to get out there and meet like-minded individuals.

    One little-misplaced comment or action is all it takes to destroy this foundation of trust. That is why both you and your escort need to watch what you say. Do not be aggressive with your escort, but also do not take any sort of humiliation or insults in regards to your sexuality and requests. If you are being respectful about what you want, and you are not pressurising or rude, then your escort has no right to make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. Never instigate a situation where you and your escort may have a “falling out.” If you think a date is simply not working out then you have every right to end it, the same way that your escort also has the right to end the date if they think you are mistreating them.

    Always keep your attitude in check and remain respectful whilst on a date. Whilst not all personalities will click together perfectly, there is no harm in admitting that the date just did not contain the spark needed to satiate you. Just as long as you remain calm, collected and respectful, then you have every right to simply find a different escort that would suit your personality and specific sexual needs.

    Agency VS Independent Escorts

    Before you even think about hiring a sexy companion, you need to start considering what sort of worker you want to invest in. Companion agencies, like Mr Smith Escorts, will provide you with a wide range of escorts under one brand name. One of the best things about working with an escorting agency is in regards to the diversity of companions you will get to meet. Each escorting company will have different categories, locations and prices for you to choose from. That means you can find a dream escort that will fully suit all of your kinks and desires, as well as look at previous reviews about how good her service truly.

    A true escorting agency will only put up ladies on their website that are completely real. Usually, a problem associated with online escorts, as well as the occasional independent escort, is the fear that they are not real. Skip-the-Games.Com, an escorting directory, listed that online adult community can be an attractive domain for scammers who create and provide “Completely fake ads by posters who are just looking for money, ads where a scammer tries to steal your credit card information, providers who don’t look anything like their photos and escort bookings that end with the customer being robbed.”

    Any self-respecting agency will never allow this to happen, as they all screen their photographs, meet the models or ask them to provide selfies to prove that they look the way they have described. This means that you can always ensure that the models you meet will always be a perfect fit for you.

    However, as an agency does tend to host a large array of young women and men, you may find that the sort of people that advertise for may look a little bland. After all, they are simply lumped together under one category and have no spice to make them stand out. This may lead to you feeling like you cannot satisfy all of your sexual fantasies with them.

    That is why you should also consider an independent escort. An independent escort will stand out amongst her fellow companions as she owns her own business. She will use her stunning personality as her selling point and knows exactly what sort of clientele she is ready to please. If you are willing to take a little more time to uncover the perfect independent escort, then you will always find a tailored service that is personalised to your own fetishes. An independent escort will know everything that is needed to please someone who likes a specific fetish, so you can feel rest assured that your sexual desires will be held in good hands.

    The only thing that you may find a little frustrating about an independent escort is their lack of flexibility. If you have more than one fetish, then you may realise that your independent companion can only really satisfy one of them instead of taking care of all of your needs. This may mean that you end up having to find a different independent escort in order to feel fully satisfied. Be sure to always read an independent escort’s sexual skills carefully so that you can see whether or not she will be able to suit you and your specific tastes.

    Are You Getting The Most Out Of Your Escorting Experience?

    When it comes to finding the perfect sexual companion, you deserve to be treated like royalty. You are paying to make sure that all of your desires are satiated, thus you should not take lacklustre service in return for your money. The moment you feel uncomfortable with your companion, or think that their services are just not up to scratch, do not be scared to initiate conversation. Do not become aggressive or frustrated. Instead, be kind and patient and talk to them about where they may be going wrong or may need to slow down.

    Your escort cannot read your mind, thus you will need to be open and honest with them about how you are feeling. If all else fails, then you can simply not see them for another date. The world of escorts is your oyster when it comes to the internet. So take your time and find a perfect companion to soothe your naughtiest desires.

    Content Writer: Hannah Fletcher

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • Why You Need An Escort Management Software To Run An Escort Agency

    Why You Need An Escort Management Software To Run An Escort Agency

    Businesses use different software to accomplish different tasks. More often than not, software solutions are used to manage and monitor inventory levels, automate several complex tasks, fulfil accounting, invoicing and billing responsibilities, etc. In simple words, software solutions help businesses grow.

    The importance of software in any industry / niche cannot be discounted. Global sex industry is no different. This industry is crowded with escort agencies, brothels, sex workers, pimps, etc. In UK and the US, the economics of sex is beyond the comprehension of industry experts.

    Truth be told, software can do precious little to control brothels, sex workers and pimps. However, when it comes to driving the business of an escort agency, an escort management software can do wonders!

    #1: It lets you build an escort site

    Just glance through popular discussion forums like Reddit. The most frequently asked questions are – how to start an escort agency, how to become an escort in UK, etc.

    Let me throw some light on how to start an escort business.

    There are two steps:

    • Have a digital presence
    • Have a robust business model

    The first and foremost step is to have a digital presence. In other words, an escort website is mandatory.

    To create an escort website, you require an escort management software.

    Of course, you can hire a web developer, a tester and an API developer from freelancing marketplaces. An experienced programmer charges you nothing less than $25 USD per hour. Smart entrepreneurs know that this age old method of hiring programmers and testers is not financially feasible.

    The next step is to have a robust business model.

    Read on.

    #2: It powers your business model

    Very often, I’m asked this question – How do escort services work?

    Allow me to explain how an escort agency works in the 21st century.

    Step #1: Clients register themselves on the agency website, pay a subscription fee to unlock exclusive features and check the availability status of their favorite models. More often than not, payment gateways like CCBill are used to facilitate internet transactions.

    Clients send not more than a couple of messages to escorts to conclude the booking process. This is accomplished through an internal messaging feature.

    Step #2: Models get paid to work as escorts. They register on the escort site. They pay a fee to get their respective profiles featured. They respond to the messages of clients i.e., either accept or reject the booking(s).

    Step #3: The escort site owner makes money when users book escorts i.e., a portion of users’ money is credited into his account. And yes, he makes money when escorts pay a monthly recurring subscription fee to get featured on his escort website.

    Admin / Owner can also make money by featuring banner ads. He can sell adult merchandize – like used panties and lingerie of escorts, sex toys, etc.

    In essence, an escort management software powers the business model of escort agencies by virtue of cutting-edge monetization channels.

    #3: It helps you overhaul every activity

    No activity is too insignificant to be ignored. Right from assisting you in banning haughty users to monitoring the transaction status of clients, a feature-rich escort management software will help you overhaul every activity of business management.

    As an admin, you get complete access to source code. You can view and analyze user subscriptions. You can manage escort feature listings. There’s an admin dashboard that facilitates business management. You can set a commission fee for agency bookings. You are all powerful!

    #4: It allows you to scale your business

    An escort management software helps you build websites that are horizontally salable. As a matter of fact, horizontally scalable websites can handle insane volumes of web traffic and internet activity.

    To tap clients from other countries, you can use a GEO based currency converter module. This module shows currencies based on the client’s country.

    And yes, cutting edge escort management scripts use Google translate API to extend multi-language support.

    #5: It enhances customer experience

    Customers love to search escorts by distance, filter profiles by categories, etc.

    First timers usually love to read reviews and of different escorts. Clients like to rate escorts based on their experience. They like to share their experience.

    Your escort website should take customer experience to the best possible level.

    A vast majority of websites are mobile-responsive. Your escort agency website should be no exception. Modern day escort agency scripts let you build mobile-responsive websites that look pixel perfect on every screen.

    Now that you know how to start an escort service and why you require an escort management software, let me summarize the list of must-have features that an escort agency software should have.

    1. Free installation
    2. Free and easy set-up
    3. Free lifetime support
    4. Free lifetime upgrades
    5. Mobile app support
    6. Brand building features to customize every aspect of site template, incorporate logos, etc.
    7. Booking panel to control, monitor and accelerate bookings
    8. Customer experience enhancers like filters, reviews, coupon code generators
    9. Payment gateway
    10. Horizontally scalable site architecture

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  • How FOSTA & SESTA Has Affected The Sex Work Industry

    How FOSTA & SESTA Has Affected The Sex Work Industry

    I don’t think of sex work as sex work. Sex work is such a limited term that doesn’t begin to touch what I/we provide. I prefer the term Companion/Provider. I have been a Professional Companion since 2010, after leaving my corporate position as an Executive Assistant. That was the best decision I ever made!

    I truly enjoy the experiences that I have been afforded, and the lives that I have been able to touch. We as companions are truly more than “Sex Workers”. We are consummate providers. I am a provider of many things (compassion, entertainment, intellectual stimulation, emotional support, motivation, inspiration, self-esteem, empowerment, knowledge, health, wellness, fantasy, erotica, sensual exploration, companionship, R&R, etc), but I’m still a person, and sometimes that concept gets lost when using the term “Sex Worker”.

    Has SESTA-FOSTA Achieved Its Purpose?

    It is said that SESTA-FOSTA was designed to prevent websites from facilitating sex trafficking. It has shut down a lot of sites that many providers used in order to provide for their families, and some providers even turned to the streets. At the same time, it has also made it harder for LE to track trafficking victims. Once the major sites that were known to corporate in trafficking recovery were shut down, many new sites popped up and it became much harder for the agencies behind the SESTA-FOSTA movement to track down the trafficking victims.

    It appears that the bill wasn’t carefully thought out, and it has made things more difficult for the parties involved and affected. Many blacklist sites, and trusted boards were also affected by this, and it has definitely made the verification process more strenuous, and many providers have been harmed/killed due to inadequate screening options, and advertising platforms. Since SESTA-FOSTA there has been an increase in assaults on providers, missing providers, and hrovider Homicides, and the trafficking victims are still unaccounted for…

    Repercussions On Sex Workers From SESTA-FOSTA

    There have been so many repercussions that providers/trafficking victims have faced since SESTA-FOSTA.

    Everyone was affected differently, but in some form we were all affected…

    By limiting the advertising platforms, some trafficking victims were sent back to work on the streets, where they face higher risk of violence, less compensation, and might never be found.

    A lot of providers that depended on the sites that shut down were left in a position of financial despair, and they turned to the streets and some even turned to pimps to find dates, putting themselves in eminent danger just to survive.

    Several providers dealt with some banks closing accounts, some hosting companies banning websites, some social media sites shadow banning/blocking adult accounts, a lot of ad platforms censoring content, etc.

    There has also been an increase in provider assault/homicide since SESTA-FOSTA. With the disappearance of verification sites, dangerous men have been released back into our community in hopes of committing harm under anonymity. This situation isn’t just limited to the providers on the street. This situation has affected providers of all rates and echelons.

    When providers and trafficking victims are criminalized, they are denied access to the equal protections of the law and they become easy targets for violence, exploitation, and trafficking. Providers/victims shouldn’t have to be in fear of reporting these violent crimes. If there was a better system in place for provider protection that would allow providers to report these assaults without backlash, it would help decrease these senseless attacks.

    Are Clients Affected By The Changes?

    I prefer to refer to them as suitors, because the term client seems a little impersonal for me.

    I have noticed that since FOSTA-SESTA, some potential new suitors have become apprehensive about the screening process. I simply explain to them, that it’s a discreet safety precaution for both of us. Providers have not forgotten the Craig’s List Killer, and the terror he caused in our community. We don’t request your screening information for blackmail, we request your screening information, because you want to be in our personal space and we need to make sure that you’re safe to see, and you don’t have a history of assault/battery. At the end of the day, we have friends and family, just like you, and we want to be safe so we can see them again.

    Potential suitors have also mentioned that they aren’t sure where to go to find reputable providers anymore. There are so many new platforms available to them now. Many have found Twitter to be a great personal insight to a provider’s personality in addition to her website. I always tell potential suitors that it’s important that you read a provider’s website in it’s entirety and that you do your due diligence to verify the provider for your safety prior to arranging a date.

    Will There Be Improvements For A Better Sex Work Environment?

    I feel that our community is resilient. Since the introduction of SESTA-FOSTA, there has been an outpouring of support between providers of all spectrums of the adult industry, and suitors. People seem to be using the available platforms to have the conversations and better inform each other. There’s still a lot of work to be done, but we’re working together towards a better environment, and we’re in a better place than we were months ago. When we put our minds together and support each other, there’s nothing that we can’t accomplish!

    What Sex Workers & Suitors Can Do In The Meantime

    The most important thing potential suitors can do is, read a provider’s website in it’s entirety prior to making contact, respect a provider and their policies, and understand the importance of screening. Being a companion is very rewarding, but there’s an occupational risk involved. Unfortunately, not everyone who wants to meet us is safe to see.

    As a provider, the most important thing that we can do, other than provide unforgettable experiences, is use our platform to help our community and inform others. A person can’t do better, if they don’t know better.

    India Dior – Hello! I’m India, your exclusive model girlfriend and private companion. I enjoy adventure, romance, traveling, and providing unforgettable experiences. I’m Charlotte based, and available worldwide.

    Follow India Dior on

    Website: http://www.indiadior.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/YourIndiaDior

    Images courtesy of India Dior

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