Category: Kink

New BDSM Erotica: Keeping Sarah

Honeymooning in England, Jesse Colter, Adam Sinclair and their beloved wife, Sarah, are heading for their friend Thorne Cahill’s BDSM club for dinner when another car deliberately tries to run them off the road. Thanks to their own driver’s skills, the other car is destroyed, the two unknown occupants killed.

Through Thorne, they discover that they’re the targets of a “blood feud”, instigated by Konstandin Sokolov, son of Viktor Sokolov, the Albanian mobster who had unwisely kidnapped Sarah a few months back, and paid for it with his life. They also discover that Thorne’s guests, ruthless human traffickers, have gathered at the club for a slave auction being held the following night. Konstandin Sokolov happens to be one of the buyers.

Fraught with treachery, betrayal, and deadly danger, Keeping Sarah keeps the reader on a knife’s edge of tension, while simultaneously exploring the deepening emotional and physical commitment between Jesse and Adam. They already trust each other with their lives. Now they must learn how to trust each other with their love.

Excerpt:

Then Jesse turned to Sarah. Bending down, he put his hands beneath her arms and lifted her up off the floor. Turning her in his arms, he unhooked the garters, then unlaced the corset, letting it fall to the silk carpet. As soon as the beautiful, but restrictive garment fell away from her, Sarah took the first deep breath she’d had in hours. “Step out of your shoes, baby,” he crooned, rolling down her stockings and removing them one foot at a time. “Now bend over and grab your ankles. I owe you a spanking.”

With a whimper, she assumed the undignified position, her second of the night, wrapping her fingers around her ankles while he got on his knees behind her to remove the vibrators from her pussy and ass. Dropping the toys on top of the crumpled corset, he palmed her ass cheeks, his flexing fingers making deep indentations in her sweet flesh. “Spread your legs, baby, or you’re gonna fall over.” A smile curved his lips upward as she slid her feet outward. God, I love this ass! He slapped her sharply, the sound and her subsequent cry loud in the quiet room. “Count,” was all he said, transfixed by the erotic sight of his handprint blooming on her skin, first white, then red.

“Y-yes, Master. O-one.”

“How many have you earned tonight, slave?”

“Ten, Master.” Her voice was barely audible, muffled by her position.

“There will be no warm-up, so I’ll make them quick. Count them all.” In rapid succession, he delivered ten blistering swats to her backside and by the time she counted the last one, her ass was fiery red and she was sobbing in pain.

Crap, that hurt! And yet, it felt so good. So damn good. The heat from her ass seemed to be having an effect on her clit, as if the two were connected by wires pulsing and crackling with electricity. Her sobs turned into moans as he stroked and kneaded the heat more deeply into her flesh, sending it straight to her pussy until her clit felt like it was on fire.

Still gripping her ass cheeks, he lowered his head, slanting it sideways to flick the tip of his tongue across her throbbing little nub. She jerked and cried out as pleasure consumed her. Then he straightened, pulling her up after him, and steered her toward the bed. If Adam was in sub-space, then Sarah was right there with him, lost and drifting and needing Jesse’s loving care. It was now his duty and responsibility to love them and keep them safe and give them the pleasure they had both earned and richly deserved.

“Climb up, baby,” he said, assisting her up onto the bed. “On your hands and knees above Adam, pussy over his face, head over his cock.” As he was talking, he, too, was getting on the bed, crawling across its enormous expanse toward Adam’s feet. “Legs apart,” he ordered and Adam slid his feet across the silky sheets. “Prepare Sarah.”

At the quiet command, Sarah’s core convulsed again, sending out another gush of fresh cream. God, she was so ready to come! She had been so highly aroused for so long, now that it was finally going to happen, it was all she could focus on. Without warning, Adam reached up and stroked his fingers through her slit, from front to back before thrusting two fingers deep inside her sheath hovering so tantalizingly above his head. He pressed his thumb against her puckered anal opening, pushing insistently, until the muscle relaxed and sucked it in. Sarah stopped breathing. With wicked skill, he thrust in and out of both her anus and vagina, pinching the membrane between his thumb and fingers as he stroked, quickly re-stoking the fires of need in her sex, burning just beneath the surface. A thin, high wail escaped her lips as pleasure devoured her.

“Christ, Jess,” Adam muttered over the wet, sucking noises his fingers were making as he pumped them in and out of Sarah’s sheath, “you should see what I’m seeing. Our little slave has the most succulent pussy in the world. And it’s dripping all over the place.”

“Sarah,” Jesse ordered, “Take Adam into your mouth.”

Julie Shelton’s third and final installment Keeping Sarah will be available from 7th August 2014. Watch out for SimplySxy’s interview with Julie on the 7th to find out more about Keeping Sarah and her next erotica in the works.

Image courtesy of Julie Shelton
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August 3, 2014
Are You Connecting Emotionally When Having Sex?

By Matt-at-Lotus

As you may or may not know, I am a professional sex worker and writer. I also happen to be trained in counselling and psychotherapy and no, I’m not just showing off (okay maybe a little) I am merely letting you know that I know a little about, you know, stuff.

When I was working full time as a therapist in private practice, I saw lots of couples and often saw singles who were having ‘bad’ sex. The stories were different but actually the same, allow me to paraphrase: ‘We go to bed at night and she just isn’t interested. She turns away and I have to jerk myself off’. Hmmm … and followed by: ‘I met this guy on the net and all he wanted me to do was shove a courgette up his arse’. Double hmmm …

This is a common affliction for straights, gays, bi’s and those in between—we have no fucking idea what intimacy really means. Allow me to give you a (slightly graphic) example:

A few weeks ago, I was called to a hotel to do an ‘outcall’ for a gentleman who found himself unexpectedly in the city and so, had a few hours to kill. “Be as kinky as you like” he said on the telephone before the booking. “I like leather”, he hinted as I chatted to him, took his deposit and packed my ‘outcall bag’ (massage oil, condoms, lube, tissues, shoe laces, cock rings etc.) and booked my taxi using the other phone. Multi-tasking is my forte.

When I arrived at the hotel, the gentleman opened the door wearing just a bath towel and greeted me with a lovely smile and a glint in his eye. Once in his room and following my safety text to a friend, I opened my bag of tricks and his eyes lit up.

“Now I am going to open the condom packet and lube just in case but this is a go-with-the-flow kind of service so don’t get your hopes up”, I set the stage for the following two hours (and reaffirmed the wordings of my website) as I put on my leather harness and proceeded to tie the gentleman’s balls with a red shoe lace.

Then I kissed him.

July 28, 2014
Bukkake! Are you ready to ejaculate?

Ever fantasized about having a bukkake experience with your friends? Now here’s your chance! You can do it anywhere and anytime.

Have endless bukkake fun with them in this new exciting and addictive card game! Sure to bring lots of laughter to the table, Bukkake! is a mixture of strategy, luck and sexual innuendos.

The rule of the game is simple, avoid being placed in the middle of the group and ejaculated upon for 15 times or more. At the beginning, each player draws a Genital card which determines their respective characters and size of your organ. The Genital cards are ingeniously named, with characters such as Little Micro, Speed Stroker, Thor’s Hammer and Frankfurter. Each character has its own strength and weakness, with what you have chosen playing a part in the strategy you will adopt going into the game.

Every player has 6 cards on hand which are strokes or bonus cards. Hit the required number of strokes on your character card and you’ll be able to ejaculate the corresponding number of times which comes in cute little cum chips. If you are lucky, throw a bonus towel card to wipe off the cum on yourself or an orgasm card to cum immediately without reaching the required number of strokes.

Being a new game, Bukkake! requires a period of familiarisation for every player to know the rules and playing a few rounds to fully understand the different character and bonus cards available. Putting out the character card in the middle of the group takes some getting used to, as with the drawing of cards after each play. However, all these comes naturally once players become familiar with the gameplay. Be creative by squirting fluids at others when they are ejaculated on or sent out of the game to give it a touch of realism and an added dimension.

Verdict:

Having tried out the game first hand with the team, Bukkake! is an awesome game guaranteed to give everyone a blast of a time (no pun intended). Card games may have diminished in popularity over the last decade but Bukkake! might just be the one to bring back the good old fun days. Highly recommended!

Find out more about Bukkake! and watch the instructional video at http://www.awkwardhuman.com/bukkake

Images courtesy of Bukkake!

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July 20, 2014
50 Shades of Curious: BDSM for Beginners

Hello all you SimplySxy people. I am very happy to bring you my very first Sexpert column for SimplySxylife.com. My Name is Bo Blaze and the nice folks here thought it would be a good idea for me to tell you a little about myself and to give you some basic info.

So first, about me. I’m a professional certified “alternative” life coach; specializing in Alternative Sexual Relationships and Non-Traditional Lifestyles. I have taught and lectured all over the USA at hundreds of universities, conferences and various alternative events. Some of the subjects that I speak on are: Lifestyle BDSM, Ethical Non-Monogamy (Polyamory), the Fetish World and LGBT issues.

I’ve also helped thousands of people practice Risk Aware, Safe, Sane & Consensual BDSM over the last 12 years, both as a novice group facilitator and board member emeritus for NYC’s The Eulenspiegel Society (TES)—the oldest and largest BDSM support and education group in the USA. If you’d like to know more about me please visit my website at www.AlternativeLifeCoach.com

I am also the author of the bestselling book (take a wild guess what it’s called) 50 Shades of Curious: BDSM for Beginners. Many of you might wonder why after years of working within these various real worlds, I’d choose to name my book as homage to a trashy, fantasy, romance novel and one of the most polarizing books in the history of BDSM?

The publishing of Fifty Shades of Grey is NOT the dawning of a literary masterpiece or a factually correct overview of how to perform BDSM. Like it or not, however, more than a 100 million copies of the Fifty Shades books are out there and a LOT of people are reading them and getting curious about kinky sex and BDSM. They have questions and need guidance as they begin their journey. It’s my mission to get them the answers and do my best to keep them safe and well informed.

Simply put, I’m willing to be a whore to reach the masses with my message of Risk Aware, Safe, Sane, Consensual, BDSM. As an alternative life coach, I help people live a more alternative life. To me, that simply means living a life where one is always growing, changing, and evolving. Where you question, think, and create. Where you refuse to settle for what you are told to do and instead follow a path to real fulfilment and enlightenment. So if you are or if you are even think that you might be into BDSM, you are NOT WEIRD and you’re not even part of the minority. Let’s strip away all this guilt and shame you’ve been fed, and learn to ENJOY each other.

There is so much to tell you, but we only have so much room, so let me start by telling you something I tell every in single novice class I teach.

THERE ARE NO RULES TO BDSM, EXCEPT CONSENT

This gets across two really important things. First, don’t let anyone tell you that they know the right way to practice BDSM or that you are not a good submissive if you don’t do this. Or you are not a good top if you don’t do that. All that matters is that you and your partner(s) are mutually enjoying one another. Sure, there are a lot of great models out there to emulate. You might see how someone does something and think it’s very cool and want to do the same thing, but feel free to change it up and do it your way! I encourage all of you to educate yourselves as much as you can; there are so many different ways to participate in BDSM. Then take all that knowledge and have fun!

Second, it’s essential that you realize that there is no BDSM without consent. In the absence of consent, it’s not BDSM. It’s abuse. There is no getting around this, NO means NO and there are no extenuating circumstances. We must always have a way to keep a scene consensual. Things can get tricky if your fantasy and play involves what we call consensual non-consent. It’s often a lot of fun to beg and plead and say “no, no, no” but it is most important when we engage in that kind of play, we have to create a way to keep things consensual. That’s why we have things like safe words so that even when we are role- playing, we can keep things consensual. Safe words simply mean that you have a pre-arranged word that you wouldn’t normally blurt out, like RED or SAFE WORD that will immediately call everything to a stop and allow you to check in with your partner. This way, you can beg and plead all you want but when you need things to stop for real, it’s just a simple word away.

Another one of my passions is communication. I’ve taught a class called Communication, Communication, Communication for many years. To help make it easy to remember the three main points of that class, I created Bo’s BDSM Triangle of Communication.

In our next instalment, I will explain more on my “Triangle of Communication” and how you can use it to your advantage. One of my favorite sayings is: “I want to know everything about you so I can liberally use it against you” 😉

SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS! You can send them to simplysxy@alternativelifecoach.com and we’ll be answering them in this column in the coming months. If you would like to get up to speed quickly, please do read my book 50 Shades of Curious: BDSM for Beginners, available at Amazon.

Bo Blaze,
Professional Certified Coach

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

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July 16, 2014
When I Squirted for the First Time

When I was 11 years old, I read in one of those “What to Expect from Puberty” books that a woman could ejaculate enough to soak through seven towels. Seven.

That number stuck with me my whole life, and I spent my pubescent years in terror of orgasming and soaking up the bed. Even before my first time, I would sit and play out scenarios of how to prepare for that situation. Would I ask for seven towels to be lain under me before sex? Or eight? That seemed like it would pile me pretty high; would sex be possible in that position?

Then came the times in high school when I would wake up with my pajama pants and blankets soaked, confused because it just didn’t seem like pee. I was sure it would be me; I would definitely be the woman who ejaculated enough to soak through seven towels, and I would shrivel up and die of embarrassment and dehydration right after.

Then I actually started having sex. Awkward, quick, adolescent sex that felt kind of weird and left me feeling sore and unsure of whether I had any business of actually doing it. Needless to say, I did not ejaculate enough to soak through seven towels, and my mind was at ease.

Now all this while, in my teen years, I considered myself something of a sexual revolutionist (as much as one can be when one’s mom still does one’s laundry). I was open about the fact that I masturbated; I owned a vibrator (purchased from Spencer Gifts with money that I made working at Old Navy). I carried around books titled Slut! right along with my history and math books, for everyone in the halls of my high school to see.

I wanted to be sexually free. I worked at my sexuality, chipping at liberation piece by piece. I sensed that there was something just over the tide, that if I could just let myself be carried over the waves of pleasure that came to me when I was in my bed alone, that something enormous would be waiting for me on the other side.

But I always stopped myself. I just couldn’t surrender myself to that pleasurable feeling because as much as I wanted it, I was also afraid of what it might do to me.

Through all of my encounters with sex in my teen years, I never came enough to soak through seven towels, but I was right to assume it would happen to me. When I was 20, I was in my first long-term relationship with a guy who only had three things going for him: great weed, great art (he was unreal with a tablet and a vector program), and great sex.

Although we already had great sex, we were young and wanted to take more risks. I had just moved out of my mom’s house, and she was letting me use her commuter car while mine was in the shop. One night, the (now) ex and I found ourselves in that car, in my mom’s neighborhood. We had parked in front of someone’s expensive suburban home and began to go at it inside the car—one of my rebellious fantasies. It was a summer night and it was soon way too hot to continue in the car, so we got out. He turned me around so that I was facing the passenger side of the car and got behind me, then he pushed me up against the car door and we started having sex again. Like before, I approached the point of no return, but this time I couldn’t stop myself from riding over that wave’s crest and as I splashed down into the pleasure, something wet began to pour out of me.

Now, half-delirious with the strength of the orgasm I’d just experienced, I crouched behind the car, mortified that I was peeing on myself in front of him (I thought it was pee at the time and spent the next few years of my life working to convince myself that “female ejaculate” and “pee” were not the same thing). But it was high tide and each wave of pleasure caused a new spasm of liquid to literally squirt out of me, and so I stayed crouched, naked from the waist down, dripping liquid until it was done.

I expected him to be as disgusted as anyone would be when someone just peed on them in the middle of sex, but instead he was delighted. Although I didn’t understand what squirting was in that situation, he did, and his ego basked in the fact that he had made his girlfriend bust her first nut.

So I was right, even at 11, to assume that I would be the one who came enough to soak through seven towels. But I was wrong to assume it was a bad thing.

Take part in SimplySxy’s squirting discussions here : http://simplysxysociety.com/index.php?topic=19.0

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July 13, 2014
Neo-Burlesque, Variety or Striptease if You Please …

Watching a documentary on BBC Three about nurses being taught how to perform burlesque, I sat and thought maybe this is something I should try, so, I began my research into the unknown world of burlesque. I had just given birth to my beautiful son Leone, who is now nine years old, I knew I had to lose weight and regain my self confidence. I wanted to do this for myself and not anyone else.

I booked for a four week beginners class with http://www.burlesquebaby.com/ in London which was two hours per week for four weeks. The excitement and nerves running through my body was already taking a positive effect on me. I went to my very first burlesque class in 3 inched heels, leggings and a loose T-shirt. I wanted to feel relaxed and comfortable as my weight was 22 stone; I didn’t feel ready to wear a corset or stocking at this point in time.

The ladies in the class were of all ages, body shapes, and creed. We were all feeling the same, not sure what to expect in our first class, but we all got on really well and supported each other.The teacher was fully dressed in her burlesque outfit and looked stunning. She not only inspired me but her class was making me rediscover my body confidence and how to move in a sexual and powerful way.

When the music started, I did not recognize any of it, as it was by Sonny Lester, David Rose and way past the jazz and blues genre. I loved it! I felt I could escape as the music was pumping out of the speakers, we were all following our teacher’s lead. She was amazing and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her! Her hips, bumps and grinds, her flawless moves were making me want to continue the class for two hours more.

Our homework after the first class was to research the past burlesque stars, legends and the music. I bought many books on burlesque too—Jo Weldon, is the best when it comes to knowledge of burlesque! After my four weeks course, I saw Simon Cowell on the TV advertising for Britain’s Got Talent 2009, he said, “I’m looking for something I have never seen on the show before”. I thought, I know he has never had anyone striptease for him before, Should I audition? I got online and submitted my application form, not expecting to hear back from them. However, I had my first invitation to audition for the production team in Birmingham, UK. My nerves were at an all time high and while I had second thoughts about it, I went for it anyway. They were very welcoming and kind at the first audition. It was a long day in the holding room, but totally worth it.

Four months went by and I received a letter inviting me to the live auditions in Birmingham to striptease in front of Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan. The Alexandra Palace held an audience of 2,500 people. The last time I danced in front of an audience of this size was when I was competing for the World Disco Dance Champion. Ant and Dec were in the wings with me, and wished me luck as I walked on the stage. All I could concentrate on was the judges. The judges had their questions for me and wished me well with my audition. The music started and I was so nervous, but I thought this is it: the last chance to dance again. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I felt sexy, in control and powerful. I had not felt this way since I was in my early 20s. Before I knew it, one of my nipple tassels flew off, so I threw it to Simon Cowell, hoping he would laugh but at the end of my act, he came up on stage and placed my tassel back on my breast for me, that made my day! I was so lucky, I made it to the semi-finals and danced to my favourite 80s track Flashdance … What a Feeling.

I was subsequently discovered by Sharon Kay, the director and CEO from Burlesque Baby TM, http://www.burlesquebaby.com/ I danced at her burlesque show in London and that was my very first experience of being welcomed into the burlesque community. Since then, I have also hosted Burlesque Baby hen parties in Oxfordshire and the Cotswolds during weekends. I recently won HEAT 2 of the Neo Burlesque Awards 2014, run by Burlesque Baby. This competition is open to all burlesque and boylesque performers from around the world and it is a fantastic event. The audience get to be involved in the judging process along with the judges. Burlesque has changed my life for the better. I have lost seven stone in weight since I started dancing again. My self-esteem and confidence are much greater now. I am also more involved in the burlesque community and really enjoy meeting everyone with the same passion. I feel powerful and sexy again !!!

I have recently connected with a burlesque legend from the US known as “Satan’s Angel”. She too, has taken me under her wing. I’m very excited to be competing in the Neo Burlesque Awards on 20 November 2014 at Madame Jo Jo’s, Soho, London. In addition, I have entered myself in the Miss Pinup UK 2014, which is a modelling competition. I love burlesque because I am my own choreographer, costume designer, hair and makeup stylist. I am in control of my act, no one can put their hands on my body as my body is my art. Any women out there reading this article, if you are thinking about trying a burlesque class, I’d say ” GO FOR IT”.

Fabia Cerra aka Signorina Fabialosa
http://pinupuk.com/girls/signorina-fabialosa/
Please visit http://www.vaudevilleworld.com/ for more information about burlesque

Images courtesy of Fabia Cerra

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June 26, 2014
Sex Under the Influence of Jack Daniels Vs. Sex Under the Influence of Mary Jane

First off, this article was written for the sole purpose of scientific inquiry. We understand that cannabis use has not yet made that leap towards international legalization, and while that’s a shame, we discourage use of illicit substances. Having said that, let’s move forward to the heart and soul of the article. I have my own share of experiences having sex after a night of heavy drinking and a few nights making love under the influence of cannabis. Sex alone, no matter how lousy, is a magical experience. How wonderful can it get if I was to add a substance to enhance the experience?

Complex Intellectual Functioning

In my experience of smoking pot and in my experience of drinking alcohol near my level of tolerance, I noticed that higher levels of brain functioning was no longer available. In both experiences, I could not think straight, I wasn’t very rational, and I lost the ability to think ahead. Nonetheless, who needs rational thinking when you’re about to have sex?

Anxiety

Personally, I experience a bit of a performance anxiety when having sex with someone for the first time. At the back of my head, I know my performance today might affect my chances with other girls in the future because girls talk a lot, and they talk about everything. Alcohol made sure those nasty thoughts in my head were gone. Likewise, anxious thoughts had no space in my cannabinoid-surging brain. In both experiences, my tendency to be anxious was addressed.

Extended Plateau Phase

One magical thing I noticed under the influence of either alcohol or marijuana was the extended plateau phase. I was less excited by visual cues such as a woman’s full breasts, curvy body, toned midsection, and flawless skin among others when tipsy. I was able to last longer and enjoy the experience rather than thinking of disgusting things just to hold it a little longer. The same was true when I smoked weed prior to sex; I was living in the moment. Thinking of nothing else and fully taking in every stimulus presented by each moment led to a fascinating experience. Under the influence of marijuana, paradoxically, I felt like I was letting go and letting the experience come yet I felt like I was in complete control. Being in this state of mind gave me the pleasure of extending the plateau phase for as long as I wanted.

Motivation

The motivation behind wanting to have sex under the influence of alcohol was different from my motivation when I smoked pot. After consuming a few beers or a few shots and I was with someone, my desire to take her clothes off and do unspeakable things would usually consume me. With my heightened libido, I could not wait until my woman and I were behind closed doors and closed lights so that I could get the bed rocking and creaking. In retrospect, I was motivated to have sex to satisfy my need for pleasure and release. On the other hand, the motivation to be with someone under the influence of cannabis was to be able to touch and feel a woman’s body. I wasn’t burning with desire; however, my skin wanted to feel the skin of the woman I’m with. I found intense pleasure in pressing my body against my lover’s body. As opposed to using a woman’s body to gratify my sexual desires, my main motivation under the influence of weed was to enjoy and share my body with my lover. There’s a huge difference in terms of experience when I was out to get something versus when I was out to share something.

Sensual Acuity

Under the influence of alcohol, I noticed I was less sensitive as if my entire body was covered by a huge condom. I was still able to enjoy a woman’s soft and delicate body, and I could still feel her warm and lubricating lady parts but it was not as intense as compared to when I’m sober. The loss of sensitivity can also be a factor in extending the plateau phase of the encounter. On the contrary, a sexual experience enhanced by marijuana can be strong, passionate, and intense. It’s as if every part of my body was coming to life. I was extra sensitive, but I wasn’t too excited. My attention was not confined to my manhood; I was aware of every sensation from my hair down to my toes. Words fail to completely describe the beautiful experience.

Partner in Crime

Having sex sober can also be a mind-blowing experience. However, if my partner was a little tipsy or has elected to take a hit or two, the tryst can drastically change for the better. After sharing a few drinks with my woman, the approach to sex took a different form. Instead of the usual slow and calculated movements along with an incredible amount of gentle foreplay, tipsy sex can be rough, beastly, and desecrating. Both of us couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes apart. Once the clothes were on the floor, every action was directed by impulse. Hickies and scratches were unavoidable because of the irresistible urge to follow basic instincts. On the other hand, having sex when my partner and I smoked pot was the epitome of lovemaking. The need to have our bodies close and pressed against each other was insatiable. I couldn’t get enough of kissing her, and she couldn’t get enough kissing me. I wanted to lick and suck every inch of her skin, and she wanted to do the same to me. It may sound like spiritual mumbo-jumbo but once I was inside of her, I experienced the hallucinogenic property of marijuana. It felt like I was making love to every woman and all women in the world at the same time. The encounter was transcendental as I was able to go beyond my body, and her body acted as a conduit to a greater experience. I have no idea if she felt the same. I hope she did.

Like I said before, sex alone is a magical experience. Add a substance and the experience can go to another level or take a different form. Sex under the influence of alcohol is amazing and the wonderful thing about it is that consumption of alcohol is legal everywhere. I can’t say the same thing about weed because only a few states have allowed its recreational use. If you are lucky enough to be living in this state, what’s stopping you from taking advantage of its effects?

SimplySxy does not advocate the use of any form of drugs and illicit substances.

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June 17, 2014
Oohhhh … Tantric Sexual Massages

It frustrates me that when it comes to carnal desire. I so often hear people charge men of only being interested in one thing, Sex! But this is so not true. Yes men do love to have penetrative sex; its primal; its immensely satisfying when good and ultimately, it can secure our genetic line and because of this it is clearly what biologically we as men are programmed to enjoy as often as possible and with as many (females) as possible. However, what many don’t appreciate—and I include many men in this—is that most men also enjoy and actually need the physical intimate touch that come with the sex as much as the sex itself. In fact, many men find it difficult to perform as confidently as they want to if they do not feel an intimate connection with their partner, be it a female or male.

There is no doubt in my mind that the adage “women have a higher threshold of pain than men” is correct, childbirth makes this necessary but I would go on to say that it appears to me that men have a “lower threshold of pleasure than women”. I have to date, given over 5,000 sensual massages to men and some 200 to women and I can confidently say that from my experience in the arousal states, male bodies generally react and get aroused faster to touch than female bodies.

With the male body I find that it is usually after only 5 to 10 minutes into the massage and often see the clear evidence of arousal. Gentle moans or movements of the body and of course a developing erection is a clear sign and as the massage unfolds, the man will become even more aroused and reactive. These bodily reactions to my touch are immediate when I stroke his back, scratch my nails on his bum or inner thighs or even simply massage his scalp, all of this will make him spontaneously respond with pleasurable sounds or movement. But I believe that there is far more to this than just sexual arousal.

It is clear to me that as the massage unfolds and as my touch stimulates the skin’s sensory nerve endings, triggering the Pituitary gland to release Oxytocin, the hormone cutely called by some, “the love hormone”, the man experiences arousal and erection is usually the result. What I have also noticed is that arousal takes place and so manifests his need to create and intimate connection with me. This may simply be a hand touching my thigh, arm or body or somewhere even more intimate. So I figure that similar in relevance to nature programming pain thresholds to be higher for women to be able to endure childbirth, that this need and desire in men for intimate (reciprocal) touch has also been programmed into the male physiology and psychology for a similar reason. No, his hand reaching out to touch me should not be viewed simply as a predatory sexual approach but more of a genuine desire for connection and to receive approval and acceptance from another.

Most men know that to become completely and fully aroused, most need to feel connected, entitled and wanted of by the other person, be it female or male. Having his own touch welcomed and acknowledged and then reciprocated, particularly when received and given to sensitive and genital areas (the scrotum, perineum, anus) a man unconsciously feels he can trust and feel safe and it is this feeling of safety that triggers his nervous system slide from the fight or flight mode to the rest and relax mode thus removing anxiety, allowing total relaxation of the muscles and mood and consequently give him maximum arousal.

My experience when giving male-to-male massage is that it is this dynamic of intimate connection between men that is as pleasurable as the arousal and eventual orgasm itself. Conversely, when I give sensual massage to female clients after an initial quiet period, I find many women explode into an almost sexual abandonment where they let go completely of themselves to the erotic nature of the massage. For example, in the male to male massage, the effect of cupping and gently stroking his balls and scrotum produces in the receiver not an erotic response but more of a bonding, caring and almost paternal emotion. Tritely, I often say that to test my theory about what men really want, I should stand in Trafalgar Square with a sign offering all the men there two options a) the option of having either a 5 minute fuck or b) to enjoy a 90 minute full body sensual massage that would of course, include and orgasm by hand but not include any penetrative sex. I truly believe that the majority of men, certainly those over the age of 25, would opt for option b!

Demure Debutante to Erotic: The Female Time Bomb

When I give a sensual massage to a female client, the dynamic of the massage is quite different. Initially, the response to my touch is much slower and more sedated, there is very little display of movement or sound. In fact, the female who does immediately display any response is the exception. However, it is after about 30 minutes that I begin to see quite quickly, the effects of my touch and maybe some movement and moans. But when I start the more erotic touch genital stimulation that is when I see and feel what I call the female “Flip” as the demure deb explodes into the erotic animal. Light sighs become groans of pleasure, gentle movements becomes trashing and straining of limbs and the gentle response to my intimate touch become grabbing and pulling as her energy and attention become rooted in her erotic journey. Again, this is proof of the effect of the oxytocin at work. It causes an initial arousal process but when released into the female body it creates at first a tempered effect, a kind of wariness and an “I like of what you are doing but let me check you out first” feeling, it is only when this passes and when the touch has been assessed and accepted that the decorum deserts, reticence rolls away and is replaced by a full-on primal sexual reaction.

Don’t let it ever be said that women are less sexual than men. If you believe it is men who hold the erotic trump card, you will be wrong. It has to be said that after giving some 200 sensual massages to women, I am still in awe of this experience. Beware guys! Today’s female is changing fast. No longer is it the prerogative of men to be the sexual overseer and it’s not just the young nubile female of the 21st century who is taking control and expressing her deeper desires but in my experience, it is the ladies who are over 35 years old who are the powerhouses of sexual energy. Like a ready time bomb; once the female who has been historically suppressed by cultural, religious or simply social controls lets these fall away, what is revealed is her womanhood in its true glory. But this is not new, only our times and understanding of the female sexuality have changed. During the Victorian era more than 100 years ago; female sexual desire in particular, was just as apparent. The women in the 1850s felt no less sexual desire as a woman of today, but today we understand that for her arousal, orgasm and sexual satisfaction is an essential part of being a female human being. It is not a sign of mental disorder; it is not an indication of being morally corrupt or sacrilegious. It is a simply sign of being a woman and men should embrace and encourage this without question and both parties to enjoy the results.

So go for it girls, reclaim your sexual territory but remember to let the men enjoy being the intimate animals for a while. Given them some tenderness, caress, stroke and care for them and then in return, they will give you all you want in bundles (as long as you show them you want it).

Colin Richards www.massage33.com / www.intimacymatters.co.uk
If you have yet to watch the videos, you can view them at https://vimeo.com/95166258 and https://vimeo.com/94660900.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
Video courtesy of www.massage33.com
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June 15, 2014
Summer = Showtime!

Dear fashionistas,

Can you still remember the amazing Marc Jacobs’ collection for Louis Vuitton’s latest Spring/Summer season fashion show? It was most outstanding and in case you’ve missed it, here is the YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igmtA_yKUH8

It was a sensational big bang; the final statement to end Marc Jacobs’ era with this reputational French fashion house.http:show-for-louis-vuitton

Marc Jacobs’ show was also interesting because this collection gives us plenty of ideas for our private showtimes at home: Make your appearance remarkable, be gorgeous, be a showgirl! Take the breath away from your sweetheart! Give him a performance he never will forget.

But how to go about doing that?

Be mysterious, wear black. Black is the most seductive color as it never goes out of style and looks sensational on every woman. Select lingerie made of high quality materials because you don´t want to leave a sleazy tacky impression. Black lace is always a good choice! It is ever so sophisticated and never fails to work its mojo. Below is a classic black lace slip dress.

What about pearls? Oh yes, so nice and delicate! And if you have seen “Sex and the City” then you know how naughty pearls can be! Yes, be naughty!

Do also try crotchless briefs, peephole bras and open cup babydolls!

My special recommendation for A-Cup girls who don’t feel comfortable wearing open cup bras is to try versions such as the one shown below.

The bra has a padded and push-up cup to give you a sexy cleavage and is covered with a see-through mesh or lace to maintain the sexy and light feeling.

Last but not least, let´s think about accessories. One can never go wrong with teasing. Have you ever tried whips or tassels? If not, this is your opportunity! In line with the big glamour theme, we use chichi kits with rhinestones (but of course), marabou feathers or sequins.

And now, let’s have a sexy summer showtime !

Images courtesy of Jutta Teschner | Design and Managing Director | fishbelly

fishbelly is located at 45, Hollywood Road 1/F, Soho/Central, Hong Kong. For more enquiries, contact fishbelly at Tel. (+852) 5111 9877, mail@fishbelly-lingerie.com or visit their website at http://www.fishbelly-lingerie.com/ All photos in this article are courtesy of fishbelly.

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June 13, 2014
Are YOU Getting It?

Spilling the Beans from Inside the Sex Industry

I am going to say something controversial. Brace yourself. Before you brace yourself, allow me to introduce myself—I’m Matt Chase, my work name is Matt-at-Lotus. I am a sex worker (although I prefer to be called a ‘sexpert’, go on, please …) who gets paid to have sex with mainly men but this sometimes depends on, you know, wind direction and the like (wink wink). I’m also a writer and trained in therapeutic interventions including counselling and psychotherapy. Now, are you bracing?

Sex workers get paid to make love to their clients.

I told you I was going to say something controversial.

You see, I believe that you can make love on a one night stand. I also believe that you can pay for a lovemaking session and yes, I believe passionately that you can be paid to make love to someone. The thing about me is that I genuinely enjoy my job. As with all professions, some workers will just go through the motions for money and others will be doing the job of their dreams. I am doing the job of my dreams. Why? I am a man who gets paid to do what he loves to do—make love, teach guys how to have body orgasms (yes guys it is possible, call me), have sex (it’s slightly different from making love), massage sexually, share a laugh, have some fun, give some compassion and be a shoulder to lean on—everything I was born to do.

I have always been very highly sexed. I was born with an innate gift of empathy and I have always had a knack of knowing just what another wants and needs between the sheets (or on the floor, up against the wall … you get the idea). Sex workers, it seems to me, get a bum deal (pun intended) when it comes to exactly what the world at large thinks we get up to.

Actually, they have no idea.

Once upon a Christmas, I was at an ‘office party’—a gathering of sex workers at the annual party thrown by the guy who runs a well-known Escort Listings site—and the conversation of course, moved onto our work. “I always find the real session starts after the sex, that’s when I become the client’s therapist” … “I love the elderly clients who have only just found the courage to accept themselves as gay” … “My disabled client last week told me an escort had turned him away! That’s so unprofessional” … “I love being an escort, there’s no job like it” … and the comments continued rolling from my colleagues’ tongues as I proceeded to make mental notes, you know, being a writer and all.

The thing is, I have a confession to make. The Christmas party as mentioned was going to be my ‘goodbye and farewell’ to the industry as I prepared to concentrate on my ‘other’ lives of writing and doing odd jobs but then something happened. I fell in love all over again.

I fell in love with my colleagues; the most professional, respectful and genuine people you are ever likely to meet. I fell in love with my job; a job that has never bored me, has always been safer than my other jobs (I was attacked with a knife when I was a nurse, bullied by my boss as a therapist, I could go on …) and yes I have to admit, pays very nicely thank you. I fell in love with my rebellious nature for you have to have balls to do this job and stand tall in a world where all sex workers are tarred with the same stigmatised brush. I remember once when the trainer in the gym asked me what I did for a living. “I’m a sex worker”, I replied. The poor man almost fell off the treadmill.

What is it about sex that makes us so shy? Is it the sex? Or is it the intimacy? I say it again. Sex workers get paid to make love to their clients. Is it the make love bit that makes us so uncomfortable?

I can feel a cause coming on. I can sense a heat burning from within and no, it isn’t a bladder infection. It’s rage—passionate, soulful, society-changing rage. Why?

Because ‘they’ are trying to change the law.

The ‘powers’ from within the corridors of representation (yes people, we elect them to represent us) are attempting to manipulate the system in order to criminalise men and women who pay for sex.

So I say it again. Sex workers make love to their clients.

Oh there’s nothing wrong with sex, don’t get me wrong and yes I do see very clearly that I do work a little differently than most sex workers, but I am deliberately pushing a point here. You cannot legislate against human emotion. You cannot do it. You also cannot legislate in order to control other people according to your own inhibitions. Society as a whole should not be given the power to stigmatise an entire profession on the basis of how they appear to be. Hence, the reason as to why I have written this article that shows you how it really is for me and my colleagues.

Yes, there are many different aspects of prostitution and yes, there are serious issues such as exploitation, trafficking, drug use, among others that need addressing but there are already laws put in place to protect people from this (if it isn’t their choice) and there exist laws intended to protect children and vulnerable adults but they are not working. Introducing new laws—which equally will not work—has been challenged by academics, liberty groups and sex workers but their arguments are falling on deaf ears. A knee-jerk reaction by out-of-date governments is not the answer. It never was.

If you do what you always did, you get what you always got. Find another way. If you would like some help in finding another way, why not ask a professional sex worker for some advice? Because we probably know more than you do. No offence intended, but let’s get to the root of the problem here: ignorance.

I do the job I do because I am good at it. I am not female. I am not trafficked. I wasn’t abused as a child and I don’t use drugs. Well, apart from too much coffee but you gotta give me something …

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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June 12, 2014