SimplySxy

Author: Mistress Raquel

  • What’s your training style to keep your Subs obedient?

    What’s your training style to keep your Subs obedient?

    Finding new ways to enhance power exchange sessions is another exciting way to keep my subs obedient to me. In order to keep my skills sharp, I take any BDSM class/ apprenticeship where I can learn new crafts of my trade, such as bondage events or BDSM socials. I make sure that sessions don’t becoming stale or routine. Spicing them up with new toys or equipment is necessary in keeping my clients interested. I stick to what a subs needs are but fetish needs change as limits become greater. I will add new play ideas in to amplify the intensity of the energy exchange. For example, over 2 years I have been working with a bondage and CBT slave. During session, I introduced breath play while he was strapped down on a bondage table. His balls were hooked to my electro Stimulation box (ie Rimba machine) as breath play was administered.

    Through this technique my sub expressed a feeling of intense rush of pleasure, using low and high settings with my electro machine alone wasn’t enough anymore. But mixed with breath play, it becomes even more pleasurable. That particular CBT sub said that no one has been able to take him as deep into sub space as I have. That’s an amazing feedback to hear from a sub, to know only I can take them there. Subs need to feel they’re understood by their Domme. Communication is needed even if it isn’t positive feedback. Being sensitive and strong is a fine line to walk. It’s important to give your sub the feeling of vulnerability and safety while in sub space. Once a slave finds a Domme who can only take them deep into sub space, an appreciation/bond develops. It can last for many years fulltime or part-time. Establishing a strong bond is necessary in keeping a sub feeling needed. That will make for a long term D/s relationship.

    I am a student still, forever learning how to become a better Dominant. Staying open minded when I deal with subs when I dominate. Some of the best extreme play ideas have been sparked from a subs imagination with me in the driver seat. It really is a team effort to have great power exchange sessions. Without the slave, I cannot be the Dominate. I’m always looking for ways to become knowledgeable on how to enhance my slaves sub space experience. I feel that’s the reason my subs choose to be obedient to me while staying loyally obedient. I choose to cater to many kinds of fetishes which keeps me open to many kinds of slaves. Keeping my dome style new and fresh. The fact is, dominants do play into a subs needs in some regards which makes the Dominant work for the sub in a weird way. It’s a strange dichotomy in a D/s relationship. There is a fluctuation in the give and take needs department for both involved. It’s a fine line to balance as the Dominant, and ultimately that’s why there are usually safe words in place.

    Obedience doesn’t happen overnight. Stay unique and find your own style of training subs. Develop that bond so you can take them to new heights during a session of pushing limits. Always keep finding new ways to enhance the power exchange roller coaster ride as you see fit. The world is only bad to some extent as perfection that does not exist. There is no one perfect or right way to train a sub. Stay open minded as all subs need to be trained differently and that’s the fun part. Learn about each new sub/slave about what makes them tick, while having your needs met primarily as well. Dominants are here to be a guiding force for their subs. This comes with great responsibility. Subs are longing for a dominant to understand them. Once a dominant can bring order out of the disorder in their mind, they can safely let go in sub space, where it hadn’t existed before. Being a strong and sensitive femdomme is not easy to perfect. I try to keep my heart soft and my grip firm. I do what feels right for each particular subs. Always dominate gracefully with confidence and pride. Be concerned for your subs well being and they will stay obedient.

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  • Reward and Punishment for Subs

    Reward and Punishment for Subs

    Know what is a reward or a punishment for your subs. For example, one subs’ reward of spanking can be another’s punishment. Don’t confuse your slave. Give the sub commands that will draw out the response you desire during session. If a slave of mine is handling more extreme play, I’ll give him more and this is what leads to amazing power play sessions and winning the loyalty of your slave. Making them obedient to your Domme style. During the training of my slaves/subs I myself am also learning how to keep them contented and obedient.

    No matter what type of subs I’m training, I use a rewards and punishments system in order to modify a client’s behavior. It is necessary to know when to use the reward or punishment to get the desired response you want from your sub. If they mess up, it’s ok that they get punished and learn not to make that particular mistake again. Rewards come with good behavior such as a surprise gift I didn’t ask for. Knowing what is considered a reward or punishment for each individual is important in keeping them in line. One subs spanking enjoyment can be looked at as another’s punishment. Remember, mistakes are okay to be made on either party. Just learn from the in real life.

    Domination training is a lot more like real life interactions than most people think. The only way a sub can learn how you want them to obey is for them to mess up, just as they would in their day to day life. I think people enjoy learning the hard way most of the time. If anything is too easily gotten, they don’t want it. My subs will mess up on purpose because they enjoy my “badcop” side. My subs are such masochists, and as pain becomes pleasure, they enjoy messing up and getting punished. As I get to know a sub’s psyche, I have a better understanding of how to train them. The more control is exerted over a sub, the more naturally they will resist. Thus, rewards and punishments are a must have component during short or long term obedience training. I enjoy a sub who likes to challenge me, and not always listening. A subs disorderly conduct makes it makes it more fun for me to dominate them.

    My play is varied so I don’t get bored and neither does the sub. I don’t like being pigeonholed as one kind of Domme who only specializes in a couple of types of fetish play. Whatever term you use to describe me as a Dominant female, I always try to be unique and creative, in the way that I dominate. The sub becomes eager to submit to my control, addicted to fact that only I know how to control them. Putting them in what I like to call a custom “roller coaster sub space” ride. The power I have over them is what keeps them obedient to me. Always eager to get strapped into their roller coaster sub space ride”. All Dommes must try and get into the mind-set of their slave before going out to speak. Starting out at a slower pace in the beginning builds a stronger D/s connection or bond in the long run. Some clients like heavy handed extreme BDSM plays off the bat. It can be more exciting to have less limits but that comes with time. Ultimately, it really depends on how the sub is receiving my flow of energy that I’m shelling out. I feed off the subs energy and read their reactions like a doctor to see if they’re receiving it pleasurably or painfully. It’s important to know your sub well.

     

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  • How to be a good Master to your Slave

    How to be a good Master to your Slave

    On an initial session, subs are a ball of nerves, scared, excited and to be aroused. Know your slave well before you start to go extreme on a client. A bad first session with a client can sour them from wanting to become your forever slave. Many new subs have expressed to me, that they didn’t rebook with a certain dominatrix because they were turned off initially in some way. The approach was too extreme for the level of trust established.

    Developing a bond with your slave is the most important before you can dive deeper into pushing limits. A dominant doesn’t have to use heavy handed “scary” domination antics to make a slave obedient. Naturally exploring more limits will enhance the D/s bond, in turn making the obedience of your submissive stronger. They really just want a dominant who listens, while diving into their psyche of what he/she needs. Some clients have suppressed their fetish needs too long. When a sub finds a dominant who listens and understands them, they will willingly submit. It’s very special when both find each other and their play enjoyments match up. You can win the admiration from your sub by taking the time to mentally stimulate them before going extreme physically.

    Becoming a great Master, knowing your subject so well, like an instrument. Being in tune with it at all times during play. I prefer training slaves that need their fetish itch fixed regularly. Sessioning frequently over time makes power exchange sessions better. Limits can be pushed more in the D/s relationship as the bond becomes stronger. I now know my Subs’s well and I am able to read how they are feeling without using any words. Watching how the body reacts when I perform a certain act or command depends on how u dive deep into their needs. Their deep rooted fetish needs become apparent the more time is invested in training them. Long term D/s relationships are extra rewarding than just sessioning once. My slaves are able to bring new ideas for play to the table but I make the final decision if it’s a go or not. I encourage suggestions. Obedience is all relative. If the sub resists submitting to me in a training situation, I get frustrated. That just leads me to push limits to breaking that sub. The more resistance, the more control I exert and it can be tedious work to train a sub into obedience. It takes time and patience on both sides for the D/s relationship to keep going. Subs must be sure not to be fickle on how they want to be dominated or it can be pointless to work with them if they won’t fully submit.

    For example, I had this one financial slave say he wanted me to control all of his finances. Though every time we set up a meeting, he would cancel or not show up. Then months later, he contacted me again saying he got scared to give up full financial control to me. A serious sub will not hesitate to meet with the Dominant. They will accomplish any task the dominant shells out to the best of their ability. Certain fantasies that people hold just don’t always cross over into reality like they thought it would. A dominatrix is not a miracle worker. Unless full submittal happens on the subs, part training will go nowhere as Subs must know what they want out of a session prior to contacting me. I request to know every aspect of their daily life before training starts. Ultimately, that’s is how I determine my approach for training for that client. For example, if an alpha switch comes to me for a session, I have to be even more stern during training. Many alpha switches are drawn to me as a dominant. Alphas need a break from not being in charge but old habits die hard. They become stuck hard to break off their naturally demanding ways. That’s when I get heavy handed. Still, some are unable to fully enjoy or get into sub space mentally and physically. I have to discharge them. Switches are the most challenging types of clients but exciting to train.

     

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  • An Introduction to Slave Training

    An Introduction to Slave Training

    I’m Mistress Raquel, a Pro Fem Domme based in Las Vegas and I’m here to explain how I keep my slaves obedient. I had to think what perspective I was going to write this article from. Because I’m a session Domme, I do not have a full time live-in slave. Plus not every client considers themselves to be a “Slave”. Most actually consider themselves to be a submissive aka “sub” or just a client. I have considered getting a typical live in slave but none worked out to my liking. When I first started out as a Dominatrix, I had a boyfriend that kinda turned into a sissy slave/cuck but that’s a topic for a whole other article. My subs see me short term to long term. Many of my subs or clients don’t like being referred to as “slave”. Many of my subs become dedicated to serving me over time in many ways.

    D/s relationships are all different but no matter how it goes both, are in a way slaves to each other. One can’t operate without the other and it’s a UNION. The term “slave” isn’t my favorite term for a client unless its insisted initially by them. Furthermore, I would like to address the term “slave” which by definition means a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them and or works excessively hard. I don’t feel I own anyone as property as my clients are willingly submitting to me. Although I have called upon foot clientele to be personal foot massagers at my beck and call. I have financial pigs and they can be considered slaves. Other pets love to send me gifts and not all clients get my time trough typical tributes. Still any sub of mine can end the contact if they want. That’s why I don’t refer to my clients as slaves unless they insist, I don’t own anyone’s freewill or the ability to say no to a request. Any one of my subs can leave the D/s relationship anytime. I treasure and respect my subs in that way. I work with an open mind, not getting caught up in terms and labels, and just enjoy the moments I dominate.

    In the fetish world some would say I’m not a lifestyle Mistress. In my opinion, a Domme does not have to have a full time “live in slave” to operate. My work is a 24/7 lifestyle though I do not have a “live in slave”. Many of my local clients have busy separate lives, some are married or in relationships. It can be difficult to keep control and monitor a typical “slave” 24/7 so to speak. I monitor my subs on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis. I train them in person, over the phone sessions or on cam. This helps me train my long distance submissives. I bring them closer to me by making the scene or fantasy more real for them on cam platforms. They are great aid for full on sessions, visually checking your sub at any given time and over long distances ie. Chastity, Cross-dressing and smoking fetishes etc. Phone sessions are great for quick and is a fun way to take control. Sending tasks or requests through text or conversations, and checking on the sub. Letting them know you care and still own them is the key to keeping any sub obedient and making them feel needed.

    I always maintain some sort of contact with all my Submissives. Subs have to feel needed and it’s a beneficial part of their obedience training. Submissives can feel lost without a dominating directive or ownership. For example, the last sissy maid I considered taking on as a fulltime live in slave had been abandoned by his Fem Domme abruptly after years of service. From what I observed, he was like a lost puppy. He didn’t know what to do without the daily training stimulation, constraints, order, tasks, duties from his Mistress. Unfortunate our personalities and play styles did not match up for a typical live-in slave contract. I assigned tasks and duties as needed in order to keep me happy as well as my subs. The power exchange needs have to align up. It’s important that both parties need to interact harmoniously for a D/s Relationship to work out in the long run. The slave must be willing to willingly submit and adhere to my needs such as following directives, making tributes, gifts, running errands, cleaning etc. When a sub resists completely, he/she is either trying to get punished or making the Dominate feel unwanted. A slaves’ happiness should be achieved through making their Domme feel content and happy first as much as possible. That determines the truly obedient slaves from the ones who are not in for the long road. It’s a give and take from each party as I mentioned before.

    Another key element to making your slave obedient, whether it’s a live-in or not is to be unique in your Domme style. Offer the type of session that no one else can give them. Don’t do what all the other Dommes are doing. Find your strength and voice as a Domme. Decide what your best attributes are, highlight them during your sessions. Mine are my personality, height and creative unpredictability. Be confident on how to give your slave the ultimate sub experience and they will be hooked on your training. I coin myself as the Amazon-Fun-Domme. I love comedy, laughing in life as a good stress reliever. It’s ok to laugh in a session to make it comical on purpose or by accident. Obedience training doesn’t have to always be so seriously scary or stringent. For example, one time during a corporal spanking, I broke a cane stick over my subs butt. The scene was halted by uncontrollable laughter on my part and my sub as it was hysterical.

    The point is, not everything is going to be an exact science or path to training a slave. Just be different and have fun ways to show your dominance, while being as safe as possible. Pushing the slaves’ limits is important in making the sub space exciting, like being strapped into a roller coaster. No one session with me is the same, which is important in my obedience training. I keep my subs on their toes while serving me and no slave wants to be able to predict a Dommes’ next move during training. Their job is to let go and trust the Domme to guide them into the sub space roller coaster ride. My slaves never know what to exactly expect. They never know what comes next during play, only a loose idea discussed prior to play. Knowing when to use the element of surprise is important in creating an amazing session with your slave. You never want them to expect what you have in store for them next.

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