Hmmm that word “correctly” might make some people uncomfortable. There is a misconception that there is a right and wrong way to “play”. While there are safety and consent rules that should be followed, the only people who make the rules are the ones involved in the scene or relationship. The way you choose to play may be different from others and as consenting adults, we must respect each other and accept all the different kinks and fetishes out there. Although there is definitely a “correct” way to spank!
There are some specific types of play that require more training and understanding of the human body to ensure safety, health and wellbeing of all involved (such as breath play, sounding, BB, spanking, needle/hooks/knives, rope, electro play and more). Irreversible damage can be done if play is not practiced safely and properly (for example in a medical scene you must use sterile equipment). To learn more about different types of play, I recommend watching and learning from educational sites such as KinkAcademy or firsthand from professionals, practicing and playing with/on yourself + consenting partners, and most importantly – always have FUN!
KINK and BDSM scenes and sessions are meant to be fun playtime with friends, not a painful chore! If you’re not enjoying yourself, then stop to take a moment, COMMUNICATE your feelings, be open and honest with yourself and play partners, listen to your own body and needs, and once you feel prepared, continue to journey deeper into the exploration of pleasure and PLAY again and again 🙂
Common Mistakes Made By Beginners When Learning BDSM
Often people think they have to try it all, or are too afraid to try. They put all their eggs in one basket thinking they only like this one thing, and then when they do try they, end up disappointed because it wasn’t as expected. People may not understand what the kinks or fetishes are, the different roles or how they themselves fit into this world. They may not know how to negotiate a safe word, talk about limits or even recognize the importance of aftercare.
Newbies are often seen jumping in without pre-negotiation of a scene, researching for the right person to dom/sub with, getting themselves into fast, abusive, or catfish relationships, or tricked financially, thus getting hurt in the process. BDSM is ultimately about trust, consent and communication. Choose wisely the people you play with, and do your homework if you are seeking out professional services. Have an idea about the things you like/dislike and start to see, feel and understand how your body reacts. Take note and go from there.
First and foremost, listen to yourself! Trust that only you know what is best for you, and if anyone is making you uncomfortable in the world of kinky BDSM playtime, know that you have the power to end the scene. If you’re curious about this world, then start by going your own way. Start living the life you have always wanted. Start doing the things you enjoy. Just be free to be you. No one can stop you. Your sexuality is a part of who you are and no one can shame you for what you like because pleasure is your birthright. Be proud to be a kinkster and enter the #portaltofreedom
Come On & Explore Your Kink With Me
I am an educator first and foremost. A nurturing and patient teacher, strict, sadistic yet loving Mommy Dom, here to guide you on your journey towards sexual freedom. My style is ever changing as I am the Queen of Opposites, and I conduct sessions at My leisure in English and Mandarin.
If you are prepared to change your life through submission and kinky playtime, then I am the one for you. If you want to learn or improve your English or Chinese + learn how to communicate your sexual needs and desires through the eyes of kink, then I am the one for you. If you are ready to embrace your sexuality and unleash your power, then I am the one for you. If you want to feel different than you do now, then I am the one for you.
LOVE Queen Layla is an exuberant and esoteric Eurasian Dominatrix, Language (Mandarin & ESL) and Sex Educator, Performer and Motivational Speaker. She is the founder of 4L Solutions, a global company advocating for sexual health and wellness through education, workshops, coaching and performances. She transforms taboos surrounding sex, darkness and transformation on the aural #portaltofreedom with inspirational stories and monthly guests as host of sexuality podcast Punani Productions. Dare to be free. Surrender and free yourself. Enter the Portal: Magical Kingdom for Sexual Freedom
LOVE Queen Layla is an exuberant and esoteric Eurasian Dominatrix, Language (Mandarin & ESL) and Sex Educator, Performer and Motivational Speaker. She is the founder of 4L Solutions, a global company advocating for sexual health and wellness through education, workshops, coaching and performances. She transforms taboos surrounding sex, darkness and transformation on the aural #portaltofreedom with inspirational stories and monthly guests as host of sexuality podcast Punani Productions. Dare to be free. Surrender and free yourself.
Enter the Portal: Magical Kingdom for Sexual Freedom