I feel quite passionately towards sex work. It is something I look upon as a great privilege for both him and I or her and her/him and him. To be able to provide such an intimate service for another person, to me, it is something to be greatly respected. As a natural historian, I have sort to explore the origins of stigma around sex work and can certainly see why it is such a struggle to accept sex work these days as something beautiful rather than ugly.
The problem is, these old and ingrained rumors of sex work have made my profession almost completely void from the truth of its true purpose. To provide love. Or if that is too much to swallow, to provide a Quality Human Connection.
Challenges Facing Sex Workers Today
Fear! Hands down, fear of speaking up, fear of speaking up amongst the community of other businesses. We can’t have normal business conversations from a business operations perspective because we still aren’t allowed to talk openly and frankly about our business. This means we face greater challenges of being able to evolve or develop healthier business attitudes and leadership toward and in our industry.
We cannot openly participate in business development forums, workshops, proper advertising and general development of healthy business structures. That means we remain an incredibly vulnerable market, a market mostly full of woman. It allows stigma to be further etched into our collective thoughts and feelings, causing us to remain fearful of doing something as simple as asserting a basic human right like safety in fear of the repercussions (can’t spell that one).
A great example of this is Covid-19 business restrictions. Though we live in a fantastic country where we are decriminalised, our industry has had ZERO LEADERSHIP from any formal body including its own sex working collective on how we are to operate safely in our different alert levels. This is simply tragic and unnecessary. This could cause a serious health risk to a massive task that all of NZ undertook to remain COVID free.
What It Takes For The Industry To Improve
This industry must take itself seriously and stop waiting for others to take us seriously if we are to improve. We can improve greatly by simply raising our own standards first, role model the high standard in which we would like to be seen in by others and take it from there. It will take a shift in attitude and perspective, and is going to take courage but we can do it.
From this, other forms of development in our industry will evolve organically such as workshops, being able to be part of proper business training and management. These are all things that I can offer as a trained and qualified mentor, social worker and life coach. Also regular meetings, changes in legislation and policy, stronger and more transparent relationship building between us, our stakeholders and our communities will start to happen if we put ourselves forward.
I understand it is scary to step up and be seen in an industry where we feel we have to hide, but it is having the opposite impact, it is keeping us vulnerable, not safe. WE have to step forward and be heard and seen.
Misconceptions About Physical Appearances Of Sex Workers
I personally believe there is. My belief was that I needed to be young, good looking, slim and prepared to have sex with anyone. That was my belief when I entered, I have heard this has been a similar belief for others and not like this at all for other people. Overall, I experience there being a lot of misconceptions about who we are and what we actually do
What Can Be Done For Sex Workers To Feel Confident?
A lot, that could be a documentary in itself, it’s a deep and complex matter. I always say start with yourself, “be the change you want to see happening” I genuinely live by that. Sex workers themselves need to take themselves seriously and stop waiting for a miracle out there to happen, it’s not going to happen, we have to pave the way and be strong about that.
We call the shots, not them, not ever. Our bodies, our work, our thoughts our lives our expertise, we are the source of knowledge and expertise.
How I See The Industry Evolving In The Coming Years
At this rate, painfully slowly and much at all but at the same time I do see attitudes slowly changing and governments being more open in some places to the idea of legitimizing sex work. I would like to see more leadership coming together with other leadership in a way that is seen, transparent and effective for us as a whole.
I do also see the industry gaining momentum with individual independent workers which I feel is giving birth to a new and more modern wave of sex workers who are more vocal about their right to work as a sex worker.
Bella Petite – I’m a deep thinker and often find myself-looking at the big picture. I enthusiastically believe in raising the bar. My desire is for you, the client, to confidently know without hesitation you are employing my services with the same level of trust, quality and professional etiquette and accountability you would expect from any other highly successful business.
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