Most people don’t really find their way sexually speaking until they reach their 30s or 40s. Sex in our 20s is often unfulfilling, both physically and emotionally. It takes time for us to feel comfortable with our bodies and meet partners who are not selfish or inexperienced. The older we get, the better we know our bodies and what we like. With age comes self-confidence. If your sex life isn’t ticking as many boxes as you’d like, here are some ideas to help you explore your sexuality.
Get to Know Your Body
Around 10-15% of women don’t experience orgasm during sex. Of those that do, 75% don’t achieve orgasm through penetrative sex. 90% of men, on the other hand, reach orgasm when they have sex.
Biological differences make it harder for women to have an orgasm. Most men discover their penis at a young age and soon learn that it is an endless source of pleasure, whereas women are less likely to masturbate and learn what stimulates them and gives them pleasure.
It’s very hard to have positive sexual experiences if you have no idea what you like or how your body responds to sexual stimulation. Get to know your body intimately. Explore every bit of your body when you are feeling relaxed, such as in the bath or under the duvet late at night. If you have no idea what an orgasm feels like, start with a vibrator. Once you can orgasm with a vibrator, you can try manual stimulation.
It is now really easy to buy sex toys like vibrators or g-spot stimulators online. Nobody needs to know what you’re buying; parcels are usually delivered in plain packaging, so no embarrassment!
Be Open to New Experiences
Don’t let the fear of being judged by others dissuade you from trying new sexual experiences. If you have a secret fantasy about kissing a woman, hook up with your best friend. You never know, your friendship might reach a whole new level of enjoyment. And if it ends there, at least you can both giggle about it later.
Date Someone Much Older
Everyone should have at least one experience of dating an older man or woman. Older partners have life experience and the self-confidence to take charge in bed. It’s a great way to learn a few new tricks, which you can use to wow future partners.
Date Someone Much Younger
By the same token, nothing beats taking a toy boy or sugar baby lover – at least for a while. You can be the lucky recipient of envious looks and have fun exploring a taut, sexy body in bed. What’s not to like about that? Younger lovers also have a lot more stamina, which has its perks!
Try Out Your Wildest Fantasies at Least Once
We all have a bucket list of secret sexual fantasies, from threesomes with George Clooney and Matt Damon to attending a sex party dressed in a rubber catsuit. OK, so perhaps some of your fantasies are best kept to yourself, but if you have a fantasy that’s legal and doable, why not make it happen?
Whatever crazy fantasy you decide to tick off your bucket list, always do it with someone who respects you and your boundaries.
Know that it’s OK to Have Sex Without Love
Don’t get too hung up on the notion that sex must be a part of love. It doesn’t have to be. Once you get your head around the idea that you can have great sex without falling in love, it frees you up to experiment guilt-free.
Sex gets better the more we do it. As long as you practice safe sex and don’t take stupid risks, you have nothing to be afraid of!
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