So dating in the real world….honestly I find the act of dating to be one of those odd societal practices that we are just expected to adhere to. The idea that you would go out on a date looking for a potential soulmate or life partner is just crazy to me, like why?? It takes all the fun out of it because instead of truly getting to know that person and enjoy their company, you’re just rummaging through a list of checkpoints in your head making sure they hit all the right ones. If they do, yay they are amazing. If not, they are horrible. So why even go, because I guarantee 90% of the people you meet aren’t going to check those boxes.
This is why I decided to stop dating seriously. Years ago, I was doing what everyone does, playing by the rules, looking for the “right” guy. Then I realized I hated the rules because not only was I putting too much pressure on the men to be perfect, I was putting too much pressure on myself. I couldn’t even meet my own expectations, how is anyone else going to meet them? So I just stopped. I decided I would just go out, get to know the other person a little better, have fun, and whatever happened, happened. It worked quite well actually. I started having a good time and guys were constantly trying to see me. In fact, I haven’t had a bad date in probably 5 years, which is partially why I decided to become an escort.
I was so good at dating that I decided to make career out of it. I was open and I allowed people to be themselves around me without putting under a microscope and requiring them to meet a certain set of standards. I felt that this was a unique characteristic that I had to offer to people, who are constantly trying to adhere to some specification in their lives. At least around me, they have a chance to be free.
That being said, I don’t think there is particular action you should or shouldn’t do on a first date. I think you should just be yourself and be open to the endless possibilities that can happen in an evening. Of course if you absolutely, can’t stand the other person then you can leave and you don’t have to see them again but it’s not a failure, just an experience. Dating should be fun!! I mean isn’t there enough pressure in life with jobs and careers without needing to go on endless interviews trying to find the perfect mate?
On the other hand, when it comes to meeting a potential partner, for me it’s always a random event that comes out of nowhere….like I am just walking down the street and someone plummets right into me. And I am like wtf, who are you and how can I know you better??!! It’s kind of an intense overwhelming experience, nothing like being on a date and thinking “yay, we both like the color blue”…or something.
When I meet someone I really like, it is kind of magical and I definitely make it known that I want to see them again. Usually I will try to sleep with them, if they haven’t already made a move to try to sleep with me, which I think might be the opposite of what most women do. But I like sex and I see it as the first step to a successful relationship. Also, it’s not something I can just withhold. Like if I am out to dinner with someone I really like, I usually can’t make it through the whole dinner without wanting to leave to go have sex with them. So in this case, I usually prefer going out for drinks, or doing something more chill initially, so we can spend more time having sex.
It’s natural for me to first want to experience someone sexually. After that I will usually care about getting to know them mentally and emotionally. But these are all steps, which I don’t necessarily think will happen just because I meet someone I like. Sometimes the attraction is just physical, so I enjoy that part. Sometimes it’s more and when it is, I enjoy that too. But it is always one step at a time. I don’t plan out our lives together just because I like them. If it works, great. It if doesn’t then it was just another experience. To me that’s real, that’s life.
When I am getting to know someone, I don’t just want to know all the characteristics that make them awesome, I want to know their failures, and weaknesses too, their pain, their anger, their heartbreak….the nitty gritty parts that people hide in their relationships for months, years, and sometimes entirely. I want to see it all!! If I can see all of it and love all of it, then ya that person is probably the one for me. But until then, I am just going to have fun 🙂
Bella Alyssa – I am Bella Alyssa, a VIP model and companion for upscale gentlemen. I create a world of beauty and bliss, which you will experience in my presence. I am friendly, outgoing, and very personable. I enjoy meeting people of all varieties and experiencing as much of life as I can. For more information, check out my website.
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