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BDSM – Dominant Play

Kink

BDSM – Dominant Play

It’s hard to pin point exactly where my interest in BDSM started.  From my earliest memories of having sexual thoughts, being tied up or over-powered was always a part of the fantasy. I guess on some base level, I felt like sex was “naughty” so not being completely in control made it possible to maintain my “innocence” without “guilt”, so submission appealed to me.

It wasn’t until later in life when I was with a partner that wanted me to try being the dominant one that I really explored that side.  Being with someone I felt comfortable with, and giving it a try in a setting I felt safe to look silly in allowed me to explore that side of DS play as well, and I really took to it.

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Photo: Michael Helms

My First BDSM Experience

Though I’d explored a few things here and there I would say my first really serious experience that opened my eyes to the world of BDSM happened when I was around 19.  I had met a couple on FetLife.com that were 24/7 lifestylers looking for a third person to occasionally hook up with.  My identifying as a switch worked really well with their chemistry because I was a sub to him and Domme to her.  The first weekend I met up with them, they took me to a party at Kink.com’s Upper Floor. I had never even been to a fetish club, so walking into a live shot porn BDSM party was a pretty extreme experience.

I couldn’t believe all I was seeing and what was going on around me, but I loved it! We spent the rest of the weekend just around their house playing in bondage, having sex, and being well behaved sub girls for our Sir. It was a really magical time, and when I first discovered the joy of pleasing another person through submission.  I also discovered the empowering side of submission. When I am put in bondage for a long time, or face a really intense corporal session, I look at it as a challenge. I know I can safe word and get out, but I love to be tough and make it through because afterward it’s like, “Damn, I did that?! I feel like a super hero”.

Appeal / Attraction Of Being A Dominant

For me it is the feeling of power that comes with someone trusting you completely. Though I am in charge, there is a lot of responsibility I have for the sub,  I need to help them test their own boundaries while still making sure they are safe,  not pushed past their limits and that no lasting harm comes to them.  Also, allowing them the joy that comes from making me truly happy through their actions. I think because when I am subbing I am a really heavy bottom, I enjoy  the flip side even more because I understand the experiences they are having intimately.

What Goes On During BDSM Sessions

I  am not currently in a  relationship  with a submissive, so the majority of my Domme sessions are done via webcam as work.  There is no actual physical interaction between me and the subs, only visual and auditory. Sometimes they will turn their cam on so I can see them, sometimes they won’t.

What I do in a session varies really greatly depending on the type of sub I am playing with. There are men who are interested in “Sissy” play, being dressed in lingerie, being “forced to suck cock, being  put in chastity or only allowed limited use of their cock, and using toys to stimulate anal sex. There are masochists who are predominantly interested in pain play. There are protocol oriented subs as well who like to be given commands and placed in certain postitions  etc. There are also puppies that like to be treated…well like dogs being  trained. Subs that just like to be humiliated and told how they don’t deserve me, or that their cock is inadequate.  Those are just a few examples.

Throughout all my sessions, however, there are certain behaviors I insist upon. Them remembering to thank me for any kindness I show them. Also, their cock is mine so it doesn’t get hard, get touched, or cum unless they ask for permission and I give it to them.  Also they are to use my chosen Domme title, Princess, whenever addressing me.

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Photo: Michael Helms

Popular BDSM Activities

Again this is something that varies from Domme to Domme and sub to sub.

Because I am a pretty heavy masochist when subbing, sadistic interaction is probably my favorite. I tend to like to come up with predicaments or challenges and often frame them up like little games.  Like having a sub cover himself in candle wax, then needing to remove every bit of it by snapping himself with a rubber band. Or putting them in a difficult position like a wall sit or something that will really tire their muscles and telling them if they can hold it for five whole minutes, they will get to touch themselves or see my pussy or whatever seems to be the best motivator for them at the time.

I also really have a thing for strapon blowjobs.  I don’t know really what it is but making a straight guy gag on cock really does something for me.

Characteristics Of Good Domme

First and foremost, respect and responsibility for those serving her.  Asking about hard limits, medical conditions, setting a safe word and respecting these.  In addition, a good Domme will never do anything that could cause lasting harm or permanent damage to the sub.  A good Domme is also completely comfortable with themselves. She doesn’t need to yell or raise her voice, unless she wants to. She doesn’t need to act tough. She simply is and exudes this energy that makes subs want to bow down to her and kiss her feet (if she’ll allow them to).


Katharine Cane is a kinky Switch, Webcam Model and Occasional Adult video performer. She most frequently shoots for kink.com, and does webcam shows through flirt4free.com.  She has been working in adult entertainment for the past 4 1/2 years and has over 6 years of BDSM interaction experience. Follow Katharine at:

Flirt4Free.com Bio: http://www.flirt4free.com/models/bios/katharine_cane/about.php?mp_code=afw7t

Twitter: https://twitter.com/katharinecane

Clips4Sale store: http://clips4sale.com/101383

Katharine is available for cam shows 5-6 days a week. With new clip content coming soon!


Featured image courtesy of Ken Marcus, other images courtesy of Katharine Cane
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

Katharine Cane

Katharine Cane is a kinky Switch, Webcam Model and Occasional Adult video performer. She most frequently shoots for kink.com, and does webcam shows through flirt4free.com. She has been working in adult entertainment for the past 4 1/2 years and has over 6 years of BDSM interaction experience.

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