Tips For Bondage Sex Play

My favorite kind of restraint is rope bondage. It is just so much more versatile than other forms. It can be comfortable or excruciating, depending on what you’re going for. I also feel that it creates a deeper connection in the scene. Rope is an art form and someone turning you into their art is an incredible experience.

I adore inverted suspensions. Sensations are so much harder to process when I’m upside down. It get’s me to that adrenaline high so much faster.

Suspensions are unique because you are limited in how you can shift around. If it is painful you can only relax into that pain, fighting it makes it worse. It is almost like a form of meditation.

But I can’t discount how awesome other forms of bondage can be. I have had some amazing experiences with machine bondage. This amazing shoot with House of Gord was unique and incredibly hot. Being fucked upside-down gives me the most amazing head rush, and I couldn’t stop cumming!

How Powerful Are Bondage Sex Orgasms?

Before I start talking about my amazing orgasms I’d like to get up on my soapbox for a minute. I prefer the term ‘vanilla sex’ to ‘normal sex.’ Saying some people have “normal” sex is implying some people have “abnormal” sex.   I don’t like negative connotations towards any sort of sex that is consensual.

Furthermore, what is normal sex? I personally define sex as any activity between two or more people that results in at least one person getting closer to an orgasm. So what would be normal in that spectrum?

Foot fetishes are common, so are forced-sex fantasies. Do handcuffs fall into normal? They are used quite a lot in mainstream media’s portrayal of being “naughty.” Is normal, missionary style, ‘lets both come once and cuddle’? Have about blowjobs? That wasn’t accepted as “normal” in the bedroom until Deep Throat brought it into the public eye. Now that 50 Shades of Gray is nearly a household book; is light, non-consensual, bad BDSM, “normal”? (You can tell I have strong negative feelings towards that book)

So, with that out of the way; my orgasms are very different. I would say during vanilla sex my climax is more of a single powerful rush. During rough sex I get this feeling of continuously cumming. I start speaking in gibberish and lose control of my body. I will sometimes even faint. It is fucking amazing! If you would like to witness this nearly-religious experience, check out my Live Sexually Broken shoot, here! That is my favorite shoot to date!

My third, and favorite kind of orgasm is cumming from pain. I can orgasm without any genital stimulation as long as I have the right kind of pain. Piercing does this to me. Especially when I get needles in my nipples or do hooks. It is just this rush of pleasure that completely shuts down my brain.

Tips To Try Bondage Sex Play

Communication! Lots and lots of it. Once you think you’ve talked the subject to death, talk one more time to be sure. Talk about your desires, how you’d like to feel during the play, how you want your partner to feel. Talk about what you find sexy, and why you find it sexy. Don’t be nervous! I promise that your fantasy isn’t “weird” or “abnormal.” Instead tell your partner why you may be anxious about your fantasy.

Discuss safety between yourselves and with people who know more than you. Look up safe ways to restrain someone. (I do not recommend handcuffs until you are experienced in other forms of bondage) Talk about emotional safety. Does no mean no, do you have a safe word, or maybe both? I personally use “Red” when the play needs to stop immediately. Talk about any potential emotional landmines you have around a subject. If you think you will experience emotional stress from an activity, talk about that. Decide if it is a risk you are both willing to take.

Most importantly make sure you have consent. Clearly communicate what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. If you are undecided explain why to the best of your ability. You can decide if you’re willing to try it, or if you want to save it for later. Make sure the other person has communicated all of these things as well. Consent is the sexiest thing out there. Make sure you always have it.

After you have played, talk about how it went. Did you have fun? If so, why? What didn’t you like? What would you like to do more of? What was the hottest part? The only way your fantasy can become reality is if you talk to someone willing to help you achieve it. It is completely worth it, trust me!

Read Part I on Why I Love Bondage Sex here

I am a full time student, most of the time athlete, sometimes porn actress, and always a dinosaur. While terrorizing unsuspecting scientists in a theme park is my favorite past time, I also find time to pursue extreme sports and edgy BDSM. I am an adrenaline junky through and through. Follow me on Twitter (@_Endza), Tumblr (http://endza-adair.tumblr.com/) and my blog Confessions of an Opinionated Pervert

Images courtesy of Endza Adair
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