To me dating and a full blown relationship is a bit separate. Dating is the idea that you want to get a feel for someone before you fully commit and it is so important to really pay attention here. To build a proper relationship (in my opinion at least) I need to find someone who has similar life goals. I’m definitely not looking for someone who I think will be temporary, some things I think are very important is taste in food, what kind of movies they like to watch, what they want to do with their life. For example, I want to have a farm and run my own homestead, so someone who liked living in the city wouldn’t be a match for me. I’m a hard worker and a minimalist so a lot of clunky possessions or a messy person doesn’t work well for me either.
Another big part is political standings, while it isn’t the utmost important part, I would like to have the same values as the person I am with so I used dating to filter through people who I think would actually be happy with me or that I would be happy with. Life is complicated and hard, so the last thing humans need to do is be with someone who doesn’t want the same things right? Being in a relationship with someone who is basically my best friend is the most important thing.
How Men & Women View Dates Differently
Through my experience, a lot of men are definitely looking to sleep with me whether or not they are really into my personality. But honestly, a lot of the times we would just talk about deep, scientific or natural things from physics to traumatic things that had happened in our lives. A lot of dudes really don’t have many people to open up to and women have that sensitive side where they can help them open up and feel better about themselves, not be ashamed to admit they’re going through a hard time.
Women I have known haven’t really wanted to settle and definitely like to have fun in their 20’s, I personally tried this for a bit but found it wasn’t for me so I am in a long term relationship with someone I can call my best friend. I am very lucky. I don’t know women as well as men. Men have always been my best friends and people I can relate with the most, but I think deep down people just want to connect and be open with someone. We are always more open and honest when we are naked, nothing to hide, everything to share. It’s a magical feeling really.
Expectations On A Date
Be polite! Not even just to me but to everyone, the server, the people you accidentally bump into when we’re walking around, to nature etc… NO LITTERING OH GOSH! I was on a date once and the guy littered right in front of me. I told him to pick it up and needless to say we did not see each other again.
No texting either, it makes me feel like I am either boring or you are telling your friends what’s happening as it’s happening… Just wait till it’s done then you can tell your friends whatever. I always hope that when I am on a date with someone, that we can talk about more than small talk. I like to be able to talk about pretty expansive things, I’m obsessed with science, animals, plants, video games, movies, welding, computers, food and much much more, I can typically talk about anything but I love hearing what he is into. It’s always refreshing to find out something new from someone. Everyone can teach you something so it’s really cool to sit and listen to the things he is interested in. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you love. Passion ignites so much in people and a smile is contagious, be proud and happy for what you love and it will help you a million times over.
Does Physical Attraction Matter?
Physical attractiveness isn’t the most important, I actually like chubby, hairy bearded men which is often seen as unattractive. I guess to me, that is a handsome man though! But realistically it’s what’s in their head that matters to me. I really love assertiveness, confidence, intelligence and a sense of humor. Probably some of the most common traits people say they are attracted to but it’s true. A confident person is an attractive person, they’re sure of themselves. I would hate to be with someone I felt I had to babysit and hold their hand through life. If they can’t take charge of their life, it is pretty unattractive to me. I am an adult and I want to be with an adult, not someone who’s barely moved out of their parents home and doesn’t know how to do anything for himself.
What Turns Me Off On Dates
Oh gosh well as I previously said, littering! It’s weird that I have to say this I feel but so many people I have known litter and it’s instant dry up when that happens.
Being too pushy, trying to force things where I’m not feeling it, being overconfident and lying etc… Confidence is nice yes but only when it comes naturally to you. If you’re lying and trying to one up yourself, then it will just come off as embarrassing so just keep cool. I am also very up front and clear about the kinds of things I like to do, I don’t like heavily crowded places so trying to convince me to go to a club wouldn’t go over so well.
I would of course politely reject it but some people are super persistent and it’s just not for me. I’m not the party animal I once was haha. I am a home body. Movies, food, walk in the woods. Those are ideal adventures for me!
Signs A Date Is Going Well
Laughing, smiling a lot, listening. If I seem genuinely interested and invested you know that it’s going well. I very rarely had issues with this though but maybe it’s because I was picky with the guys I even chose to go out on a date with. Mostly University students etc…
Honestly though, the biggest key to knowing your date is enjoying themselves is to just feel their energy, look at their body language. Are they relaxed and leaning towards you? Are they posing a bit to try and appear like they’re sexy? Tugging their low cut shirt down a bit to expose themselves a bit more? All sorts of signs will let you know your date is into you. But again the biggest hint is the smile and laughter, you want to have a good time right? You’ll feel it when it’s there.
Arwen Datnoid – I’m a geek, I’m a lover of knowledge and nature, I’m ambitious and work twice as hard. I’m always working on improving things in My life whether it is the quality of the videos I am producing or the quality of the next dish I cook. Huge fan of sci fi and fantasy and escapism in general. All around not a bad person!
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