Tag: Shibari

How To Explore & Enjoy Shibari

Those who practice BDSM have the pursuit of pleasure as their goal and during the session, it is possible to carry out this search with the most disparate tools. Within the practice, we can explore our desires and share them with the person we play with. We can feel ashamed, cry, relax, enjoy, be afraid, let go of control in total freedom, without worrying about the judgment of who is there with us at that moment. This allows us to get closer, to get more intimate with your partner.

I do not share only my body with you but I open a window on my secrets and allow you to see things about me that on other occasions I do not show. In addition, as individuals, practicing BDSM leads us to ask ourselves what we are looking for in a relationship (whether it lasts in the time of a session or whether it is the relationship with our partner), who we are, what we want. In short, from my point of view, it is a full-blown self-determination tool.

Ropes by Alithia Maltese; Model Momo Usagi; Pic by Vazkor

How My Interest In Shibari Developed

As a child I loved to tie things up. I used what must have been a jump rope: chairs, tables, bottles, nothing could stay in its place. I built forts, tents, castles. Upon reaching sexual maturity, I started fantasizing about bonding people. In a short time, the fantasy became reality. I felt, however, that something was missing. Using scarves and belts wasn’t that satisfying. Playing with wax and having extreme sex with the people I dated didn’t tell everything about me. Also, I needed to talk to someone who had my same instincts, I needed confrontation. So I asked for advice from a friend who I knew had the same interests as me and she suggested that I join FetLife, a social network dedicated to BDSM that has nearly nine million subscribers around the world. Here I discovered the existence of a community in Turin, the city where I live, of parties and bondage workshops.

I am a curious person and as soon as I approached bondage I began to explore the various existing styles, to research the most famous masters, and so I discovered shibari and chose who I wanted to study with. The further I went along my path, the more I realized how relevant this was becoming in my life, how ropes had become one of my favorite communication tools and certainly my favorite BDSM practice.

Ropes by Alithia Maltese; Model effe.emme; Pic by Vazkor

Is It Easy To Learn Shibari?

It all depends on what is the goal you want to achieve.

You can start playing safely very quickly. The important thing is to know what your abilities are and not to overdo it, not to try to do things that have not yet been learned. Those who want to learn to suspend have a longer course of study ahead of them but the duration depends on several factors, for example on what is the goal of the people who are studying and how much time they dedicate to practice and training. For those who, like me, love shibari and decide to cultivate it and perfect (and to perfect/refine) technique and aesthetics, the path can last a lifetime.

What I Love About Shibari

I’d like to say that I love everything about Shibari! I love tools, aesthetics, technique, communication. The most important thing for me I think is the relationship that is created between rigger and rope bottom. Trust, communication, understanding, eroticism are essential components for me in my practice.

Sometimes I play as a bottom with my partner. In that case, I love to feel his desire for me. As I said before, ropes have become one of my favorite communication tools, it’s amazing how much they can amplify what rigger and rope bottom want to say to each other.

GyakuEbi Ropes and Pic Alithia Maltese; Model effe.emme

Safety Precautions Before & During A Session

Based on their experience, everyone develops their own personal security strategies. The advice I can personally give are: to know what the health conditions of the rope bottom are (for example if they have had joint problems, if they suffer from claustrophobia or low blood pressure), to gradually increase the intensity of the tying to give way to the rope bottom to feel what is happening (both to enjoy the moment more and to communicate if there is something wrong), to read the signals of the rope bottom’s body to understand if everything is okay, be aware of your abilities and not overdo it, not to try ties that are not mastered during a session, especially when if you are a beginner.

Alithia Maltese pic by Vazkor

What To Expect As A Beginner

I recommend starting with a workshop held by a reliable teacher. Look at the photos, follow people on social networks, ask for feedback from those who have already studied or done Kinbaku with them, ask someone who is part of the community. This also applies to those who want to be tied up.

The sensations experienced in Shibari are very intense. If you are looking for something comfortable, Shibari is not for you. If instead you want to start a journey, perhaps together with your partner, if you are ready to share your deepest emotions with this person, then give it a chance.

Maybe there will be times when studying will seem boring or frustrating, but if you are willing to overcome them you will be rewarded and you will discover a new world, something you didn’t even know existed before.

Alithia Maltese is a rigger, an alternative sexuality educator, a kinbaku teacher. She lives in Turin, Italy.

Alithia organizes events about consent, meetings for people interested in BDSM, classes on non-verbal communication and bondage workshops. Her main interest is interpersonal communication and she has found in ropes the tool that allows her to express herself at best. She is convinced that BDSM can be a great way to learn to communicate through our body, so she studies its potential.

Follow Alithia Maltese on

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Instagram: @alithiamaltese

Twitter: @AlithiaMaltese

Telegram: https://t.me/bdsm_alithiamaltese

Website (for Italian speaker): https://www.alithiamaltese.com/

Images as credit above

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March 17, 2021
How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 2

I enjoy being tied up by people I have an attraction to. This attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual in nature, but there has to be interest (from both sides) in being close and intimate with each other. So for me, I don’t really seek out to be tied by people who tie specific styles of Kinbaku; rather, I seek out specific people who I am interested in exploring our relationship together, whatever that relationship might be. Sometimes I am driven by lust, sometimes I like the way a person moves, sometimes it is somebody I would like to get to know better (like a close friend of a close friend), and sometimes it is to realize a deep friendship.

That all being said, I do think there is a correlation between the people I am attracted to and the kind of rope they happen to do. I would say that I am a fairly intense and extreme person; in my Kinbaku exploration I have discovered how much I love to suffer (physically and mentally) and how much I love to be objectified… and as a former competitive athlete in sports that require intensive endurance training, I also find that my physical body craves to be pushed to a limit that it has been trained to be hard to reach. With these desires along with my personality, I naturally find myself tying with people who work a lot with the body, movement, suffering, and objectification. And often these people all kind of hover in the same circles, like-minded attracting like-minded. To name a few riggers I have had the pleasure to get to know through ropes and I think reflect what I am attracted to in ropes: Nicolas Yoroï, Kristina Marlen, Alex Nawa_Ronin, Felix Ruckert, Tamandua, Butterfly Bondage, and Pauline Massimo. These people and their way of tying speaks to me in ways that words cannot quite describe and I feel very lucky to have been able to meet them on a deep level both in and out of the ropes. Certainly, they have played a huge role in my development as a person who is tied. I also need to mention a rigger who I have not tied with but who has been an inspiration for me since the beginning of my rope journey, and that is Akira Naka. I have always been drawn to the beautiful, romantic suffering that is portrayed by him in my eyes.

There are also a few rope bottoms that I am inspired by, and I would like to mention Natasha Nawataneko in particular. We have known each other since I first started rope bondage and in so many ways we have accompanied each other on our journeys in rope bondage. She is one of the wisest and most genuine people I know, and these qualities poor from her soul when she speaks, breaks, and is being tied. I am totally inspired by her and her constant ability to stay honest and present with what is going on insider of herself while still remaining a considerate and generous human being. Being around such inspiring rope bottoms as Natasha certainly affect how I am tied and the experiences I invite into a rope bondage scene.

So, yes bondage is not about styles or collecting experiences. It is about people. And I like the style of the people I am interested in tying with, on either side of the rope. And often that style as more to do with the way they move and how they are as a person, and how we attract each other, rather than anything to do with the ropes themselves.

Photo and rope by Pauline Massimo

What You Should Know Before Trying Out Rope Bondage

I would say that they should spend time thinking about the why. Why do you want to do rope bondage? You might want to do it because you saw a pretty photo on the internet and it inspired you. It might be because you have been having fantasies about being tied up for a long time and you would like to finally try it out, or you might have absolutely no idea! But there is something about it that makes you curious. There is no right or wrong answer. But it is good to constantly evaluate this question (and the answer might keep changing, or be totally different depending on who you are tying with and what you want to do).

I think it is important to constantly evaluate this question because it will help you to better find the rope bondage experience you are looking for with a person who best matches your intention. If you are not interested in doing rope for sexual reasons, then it is best to recognize that and seek a partner whose intention matches yours… because how awful would it be to start doing rope with somebody whose intention was to be sexual when that is not what you want! No matter how good of a person you both might be, it likely would end up in an unpleasant situation to say the least, for both parties involved. When we can be honest with ourselves and our own desires we can do a better job of taking ownership for our own experiences and making sure they are what we want to have. This can apply to everything from finding rope partners, teachers, and spaces that feel good for you and help lift you up and make you feel comfortable enough to dare to be dangerous.

I would also strongly recommend people who are interested in learning to tie or be tied to seek out guidance in person. Online material can be a great sub-element for your learning and development, but it does not provide you with the important nuances that come with learning a practice that is kinetic. Seeing how the rope can affect another, having somebody there to guide you and explain how it could work for you and your body, and provide a safety net… all in person… is invaluable. Humans understand the emotional and reactions of other humans best in person. And this is exactly what rope is about. We need living examples, and meeting others who share such an edgy interest in person help us to build a network of people we can relay on and gain experience from… and furthermore can serve as a safety net we can lean on when we need others who understand to talk to about our experiences and make sure we are all safely being dangerous together.

Lastly, I would also like to emphasize that there is skill and development in being tied. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the rigger who magically creates an experience for the rope bottom to enjoy. It takes two to tango, as we say in English. We create an experience together. A dynamic. A scene. And both parties need to be present and aware of their own bodies, reactions, and feelings. There are not just things that a rigger should learn; there is also so much out there to learn for somebody to would like to be tied. Go to bottoming workshops, talk to other bottoms about their experiences, and find perspectives and techniques that work for you. Invest in yourself, and in the people who you would like to be tied by. If you come into a session expecting to be served an experience, then perhaps rope bondage is actually not for you, because if you aren’t willing to put energy, presence, and responsibility into a session then you are not doing your part in contributing to a mutually safe and rewarding experience for you or your partner.

Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.

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Website: www.saararei.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/saara.rei.shibari

Only Fans: www.onlyfans.com/saara_rei

Photo credits as above

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November 11, 2020
How To Explore & Enjoy Kinbaku Part 1

I would say almost every aspect of my life could be considered a practice in alternative lifestyles. I live in a cooperative: a house where everything is done cooperatively among all of its residence, from expenses to cooking to social gathering, everything is shared. I live a non-monogamous lifestyle, where the relationship agreements I make with others do not limit sexuality to be exclusively shared with one individual.

I love BDSM, and especially rope bondage, as a lifestyle; most of my close friends and relationships in general have been formed through BDSM and I spend the majority of my free time reading, speaking, teaching, learning, and going to events around BDSM and specifically rope bondage.

I also identify as genderqueer and have been “out of the closet” since I was in middle school; I even helped to organize the ‘Gay-Straight Alliance” when I was in middle school where we fronted the “Day of Silence” protest among other events. As well, I am also a huge sci-fi geek who dreams of cosplaying their favorite characters, and I am mathematician by training! Without a doubt, I love all facets of kink and alternative lifestyles. I have never been a person who has taken kindly to being told how I should be and what I should do. I don’t necessarily believe that everything mainstream is bad!

But I do believe that everybody should be able to explore freely for themselves who they are and what they like, and to be able to do that without fear or exclusion from society. I think judgements about how one should be do not just come from mainstream society… how many times have I been told I am “more queer” when my hair is short? Or that a real feminist cannot be submissive? Or that my rope is not “Japanese enough”? Why should we listen and be shaped by such voices? Voices that oppress me? I think I make it my life mission to say “NO” to such voices.

For me, it does not matter where such voices comes from, they are still boxes formed by judgements that tell me I must be a certain way or I cannot be. We should spend our time lifting each other up, especially in alternative cultures; we are fighting for our freedom to be ourselves – making war has casualties. And when we are few, those casualties can mean extinction. There is room for us all to be kinky and weird. Let’s not let the illusions of money, fame, and capitalism make us forget that.

Photo and rope by Nicolas Yoroï

How My Interest In Kinbaku Started

It’s a cute story, I think, about how I discovered Kinbaku. In the summer of 2014, a close friend of mine had returned from her first Nowhere Festival in Spain (a festival inspired by the Burning Man Festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert). As soon as I saw her to receive all her stories about her experiences, she began to tell me about a love affair she had with an Italian guy there, who swept her away by tying her up in his tent. And how she was so taken by this experience that she decided to go to Italy to visit him and to take some rope bondage lessons with him.

She then proceeded to ask me if I would take a beginner’s course with her in Berlin, where we both lived, as soon as she was back from Italy. And as you might expect from somebody who grew up in San Francisco followed by Berlin, my answer was a very unbothered “sure”. Since I was young I was always aware of my perversions. I often fantasized about being watched while I was in the bathroom, or being used by somebody sexually in public locations. I always knew I had a strong desire for submission, to put it generally, but I never really thought about the means to my submission much, such as bondage or pain, for instance. Perhaps they were always there, and sometimes would appear during sex in the bedroom, but never with much awareness.

Living in San Francisco, a city where alternative lifestyles were the norm, kink was always around me; kink.com made up an entire block in the center of the city and it was normal to see people walking around naked in the streets. I remember having to sit down with myself in my early 20s, having to contemplate if polyamory was really for me or if I was merely complying with social norms! So as you could imagine, my perspective on reality was quite non-normative to begin with.

And so kink has been around me casually since the start of my sexual exploration without much effort, and with that as well a lack of interest in really pursuing it as a lifestyle; like never managing to go to the museums in your hometown, kink and bondage just was never something that I really bothered to actively pursue… until the beginner’s course in rope bondage in Berlin!

My friend and I attended a two day beginner’s course hosted by a person named Caritia and her partner at the time, Steven. I had an expectation that I would like to be tied, which was confirmed, but was surprised to find how much I also enjoyed tying! The playfulness, the intimacy, and the creativity my close friend and I were able to share during these two days was inspiring. I loved both sides, but of course my sexual desires really called for me to explore being tied the most! After this workshop I proceeded to go to as many jams and workshops as possible – and the rest is history!

Photo by Shantel Liao, Rope by Butterfly Bondage

Learning Deeper About Rope Bondage

Luckily, living in Berlin, there was a lot going on at the time, especially at a venue formally known as Schwelle7, run by a now dear friend and teacher, Felix Rucket. It was there that I was able to go deep into rope bondage; it also happened to be the place where twice a year some of the most experienced people in rope bondage from all over the Europe would gather to exchange knowledge and, most importantly for me, play together.

At Schwelle7, I was able to form close relationships with people that also involved rope bondage. And of course these relationships did not form over night; they took time and energy. But after years of meeting the same people in what was a small community at that time, and living, moving, breathing together, you become familiar with each other. And relationship dynamics form between everybody. As in any community. And the beauty of this development is incredibly fulfilling, and is what kept me coming back.

If you want more of something in your life, then you need to invest your time and attention. Going to rope bondage and kink workshops, jams, and events gave me knowledge, experience, and community. And not once did I ever think of achieving something, but rather simply investing more in what I want in my life and enjoying every step of the process.

Photo by Zor Neurobashing, Rope by Nawa-Ronin:DiscoverKinbaku

What I Experience While Being Tied Up

This question is both very simple and very complicated. It is simple because I always try my best to always do the same thing when I am being tied: be present in the experience I am having and allow all reactions permission to be expressed exactly as they would like to be expressed. And it is complicated because this is hard to do! And there is absolutely no recipe for doing this, not even for myself! We are all so different from moment to moment; my mood, emotions, and physical fitness are constantly in flux and there is not so much I can actually control, as I see it.

With that, I believe that we all have to constantly work to towards finding our way back to ourselves – what we are feeling, thinking, and reacting. And rope can be extremely confronting in that our physical body is being disturbed and that this can bring out a whole array of emotions that can be hard to predict. Practicing BDSM in general has certainly helped me to bring more awareness to what I am feeling, especially when playing with emotions that I tend to avoid or ignore in the everyday life (like humiliation, shame, or fear).

Sitting with these emotions in a container that is a session, feeling and processing them, and coming out on the other side to see what the world has not ended and the person who has witnessed me in these feelings still cares for me has had a profoundly positive affect on my life.

As well, in terms of my physical body, my background as a ballroom dancer and competitive swimmer has given me a lot of insight that has been easy for me to transfer into my experience in rope bondage. Developing insight into how my body moves in space and feels when pushed has allowed me to cultivate an awareness of what is happening to my body that tells me when it is ok to push and when it is not.

Part 2 to follow…

Saara Rei – A Stockholm-based performer, rope artist, and kink educator with a professional background in modern and ballroom dance, as well as teaching and public speech coaching. She has been practicing Japanese-inspired rope bondage, often referred to as Shibari or Kinbaku, since 2014.

Follow Saara on

Website: www.saararei.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/saara.rei.shibari

Only Fans: www.onlyfans.com/saara_rei

Twitter: www.twitter.com/saara_rei

Photo credits as above

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November 9, 2020
Japanese Kinbaku Model & Performer Aimi

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk. Thank you for your interest. My base of activity is Japan. I do not belong to a specific office, I am active in freelance. I usually do expression activities focusing on models of swimwear and lingerie.

How did you get started as a model?

I opened a Twitter account and started by uploading photos taken with my smartphone.

What do you love about shibari and kinbaku?

Shibari is a traditional Japanese technology. I feel charmed in the history. Also, I consider tying as an art including erotic parts. As a kinbaku model, I feel that it is attractive to be able to express myself as part of the beautiful world that a kinbaku creates (緊縛師) through a tie.

How do you prepare for a shibari photoshoot?

Prepare costumes and make makeup according to the theme of the photo. Stretch and soften your body for difficult poses.

Which is the sexiest item in your wardrobe?

Lingerie and red lipstick from “Aubade”.

(“Aubade” is a French underwear manufacturer.)

Where can we catch you partying on weekends?

I go to the store where my friend stays. If you strongly desire, you will meet me.

If you could learn anything in this world, what will it be?

I will learn the meaning and value that I live in this world.

Do you get guys approaching you often to get to know you?

Start by getting to know your existence. I will study his ideals and strive to get closer to it.

It is a pleasure to feature you Aimi. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?

“Sexy” is a weapon that can be worn in the process of living

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aimi_feti/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/aimi_feti

Official Site: https://www.aimi-feti.com/

Contact: info@aimi-feti.com

New Gravure DVD released on May 20 (http://www.i-one-net.com/item/1400)

Images from Aimi

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June 3, 2019
Incorporating Impact & Wax Play In Rope Bondage

I usually experience rope bondage (especially in regards to ‘Shibari’ style, not bedroom bondage) as something that is artistic, emotional, expressive, and connective.

I was introduced to rope bondage through a friend after seeing a beautiful photo of her suspended from the branches of a tree. It was artfully done and she looked so serene and peaceful. I knew I wanted to give it a try. So I suppose, right from the start, I was already seeing rope bondage in an artistic sense.

Why Is Rope Bondage Popular?

I can’t speak for everybody, but I think a huge part of the appeal is the connection you can create with others. It’s such a unique way to connect and mesh with another person. It lets you experience sensations and feelings that you might not have anywhere else, and be close to someone in a whole new way. I think with any kink a lot of trust and consent is involved, and part of the appeal for me is that I’ve learnt so much about boundaries and communication because of my experiences in rope.

Also, I think for a lot of people, and certainly for me, it’s also the medium of the rope that’s incredibly appealing. It’s the feel and the scent of the rope, the way the rope creaks when it’s under tension, how it hugs you and holds you. It’s all part of the charm.

I’ve heard a lot of people speak about how they love to be tied because they can give up control to somebody else. Sometimes I feel that way, on some level, for example if I’ve had a stressful day and I can just be tied by a good friend and let the world melt away and know that I can just fall into a nice rope headspace. But generally, I find it’s more of an expression of my own power, and sharing that discovery and expression with someone, rather than it is about being dominated or about giving up control. Sometimes, people assume that I am a submissive or s-type just because I want to be tied up. I don’t identify as a submissive, but I enjoy connecting with my riggers as well as exploring emotions and connectivity through the medium of rope.

Favorite Bondage Positions

I usually love hanging in an upside-down suspension. It doesn’t always work for me, but when I’m in the mood, it’s my favourite thing. Being suspended by a good single Futomomo (when your leg is bent at the knee and tied shin-to-thigh) can feel amazing in a pain versus pleasure kind of way. It helps me feel less stressed, I can just melt into it. Sometimes I like hanging by my ankles, straight down, so that my spine decompresses and I can just stretch out. I work on computers all day so I really need that release sometimes! Also, I believe that’s one of the reasons why people do aerial yoga (which I still haven’t tried!).

I also have often enjoyed being tied on the floor, without suspension involved at all. Suspension is sometimes seen as the primary target for rope bondage, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve had some amazing experiences with just floor rope. I like ones where I can curl up and have my arms in front of myself, and my legs wrapped up nice and tight.

How To Incorporate Impact Play Into Rope Bondage

I think it depends what you wish to focus on, and what mood you might be in.

If wanting to focus more on the impact play, you might use quite minimal bondage. For example, I’ve had my arms tied and lifted above my head so that I’m standing and being whipped from behind. I’ve laid on a bench with my arms and legs tied to the four corners of it while being beaten with a cane. Those methods place a larger emphasis on the impact play more than the bondage – the bondage was only there to stop me from moving around during impact play. So that was coming more from a place of wanting catharsis via the pain and rhythm and sensation of impact play.

If the focus is more on rope bondage and you’re wanting to bringing some impact play elements into it, you could do whatever kind of tie you like that you feel will also enable you to do some impact play. I would suggest thinking about what parts of the body you’d prefer to aim for, and make sure they are accessible. I’ve been tied in a suspension before where I was in a hip harness and a sort of backbend, and my thighs were being flogged. There’s a lot of ways you could play around with positions for this.

Why I Love Mixing Wax Play With Bondage

I’m not sure I’ve really put it into words before, but I think I love the mix of sensations! Rope can be so comforting or challenging depending on the position and vibe put into the tie. It can be relaxing, or aggressive, or anything between and beyond.

Wax can be warm and gooey and lovely, or it can be really hot and piercing and shocking. Both rope and wax together I think creates a wonderful mix where you can have an ebb and flow of sensations and intensities. There’s just such a range to play with!

Tips For First Timers To Get Started

With wax play, at least to start with, I would suggest getting candles that are soy based (and unfragranced if you have sensitive skin). They tend to be gentler and nicer to play with than a candle that is made with something like paraffin wax. You can try with all different kinds of candles and see what you prefer. Some are sharper and sting more than others. Also, be aware of the size of the candle – get a wider/thicker one if you can. The size of a candle versus the wick placement will affect how hot the melted wax is when it reaches your body. The larger the candle, the cooler the wax will be when it hits your skin, because it’s had to travel further from the flame. If you’re using a really skinny candle (like a birthday cake candle), the wax will be hotter as it’s basically come right from the flame itself.

You can, of course, try it on yourself before asking someone else to do it for you. Try dripping wax on your arms, legs, feet. Be aware and take care of potentially sensitive areas such as the inner thighs.

With impact play, you can also try implements on yourself first (depending on what the implement is, the ease of this will vary). If I’m not sure I’ll like a particular implement or toy, sometimes I’ll use it against my own thigh to get a small taste of it before asking someone else to try it on me.

If you can go to a class or event in your local kink/bondage scene, that might work out really well for you. I’ve been to a workshop with a friend where we were given opportunities to try different implements for impact play (including our own hands, of course!). It’s a good way to experiment whilst also getting guidance from people with experience. I felt like I learned a lot from doing it in a workshop setting!

Ellie Neptune – Ellie Neptune is a shibari-bat from Australia who loves hanging upside-down. She discovered rope bondage via a friend in 2014 and has never looked back! Ellie enjoys exploring connectivity, art, and emotion through rope bondage.

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Website: www.ellieneptune.com

Photos courtesy of Ellie Neptune

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April 1, 2019
Tips To Enjoy Rough Sex

In my opinion, sex is something that has to do with an open mind without any complex. For a long time I’ve believed sex was a taboo subject, that is the way my social surroundings taught me; one day I decided to bring down such barriers and started exploring my own body.

I see sex now as something necessary (at least for me) whether if it’s masturbation or as a couple.

For me the daily worries or stressful situations are prohibited during sexual encounters. It’s my own way of meditation, whereas the possibilities of fun are infinite, such as toys, places, role play, sexual positions, in turn can be your job as well.

My Interest In Rough Sex

The interest in me started through my partner. One day he decided to tie me up just for fun, and started behaving in a more “rough” way. At that moment I realized I really enjoyed it, although I have to confess that at first I felt embarrassed by it.

Why It Turns Me On

Rough sex allows me to unload all stress within in a more intense manner, than “vanilla” sex would and to be able to give control of the situation and my body to a person I completely trust, is probably what I like the most, since that way I can concentrate on obeying and enjoy the experience.

Types Of Rough Sex I Like

Forms that I like the most are those related to bondage, since I play a submissive role, I truly enjoy the Japanese fetish called “Shibari”

I enjoy spanking, hot wax, being tied up with my arms behind my back while being penetrated doggie style, it drives me insane because it is so much fun for me.

Also I truly enjoy public sex in which my partner forces me as part of the fetish fantasy (although it is voluntary on my side), the adrenaline rush of being caught is incredible and immensely exciting.

Tips To Enjoy Rough Sex

1. Do it with someone you completely trust, no strangers ever for real.

2. You have to plan and discuss whatever you’re going to do in advance, especially if you’re newbies at any kind of fetish.

3. Apply the same rules always as you would do any BDSM relationship.

You don’t have to believe the “Christian Grey” model; rough sex has to be safe, intelligent and most of all consensual at all times

4. Manage limits, create limits of all things you’re not ready or ever able to do, and your partner has to understand such limits. ALWAYS Use a “safe word”, this way your partner knows when to stop especially in bondage fetish situations

5. Do not use equipment difficult to use or complicated, ie. use sex toys as dildos, not fruits or vegetables such as a cucumber or banana.

6. Again nothing with strangers, unless you are with someone you trust, if so, then just enjoy the ride!

7. Lastly, respect, respect, respect. Even if your fantasy fools you into believing your partner belongs to you, it doesn’t, and he/she will never be your property.

Try Rough Sex Out Now!

I do recommend rough sex to every girl that is looking for new experiences or are tired of boring “vanilla” sex, even if the typical fetishes available are not their cup of tea; still, do remember to start slow, from the minimal tying up of your hands or arms or putting a bandana over your eyes, until you can advance to rougher styles like ropes or hot wax.

If you follow the rules that I have talked about before, I’m pretty sure you will have nothing to fear and you will enjoy it as much as I do!

Hey! I’m a 19 years old spanish art student and amateur cam model who likes cats and porn too much. I started in the cams industry recently so I haven’t had any achievements yet but I am aspiring high, so wish me luck and may the force be with me! Follow me on:

Personal Twitter: https://twitter.com/PityKitty_cb

I work with these Twitter accounts too:

https://twitter.com/camgirlfandom

https://twitter.com/camgirloffers

Chaturbate room:

www.chaturbate.com/pitykitty

Manyvids profile:

https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/460335/pitykitty/

Images courtesy of Kitty
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March 8, 2016
Shibari and Kinbaku rope model Jenny Rose

It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan of Shibari/Kinbaku or not. Looking at rope model Jenny Rose in all the knots she’s in keeps one in awe at the variety of styles available and skilled techniques required. We take this unique opportunity to find out more from Jenny about Shibari and Kinbaku, an interview you won’t want to miss!

Hi Jenny, it’s a great pleasure to feature you on SimplySxy. Please share with our readers a little about yourself and where you’re from?

I’m a rope model based in Melbourne, who only bottoms for my rope top, Harumitsu. Most of the ties we do are Shibari/Kinbaku.

Where did your interest in Shibari and Kinbaku come from?

I’ve always been really fascinated with the idea of bondage and restraint even since I knew its existence. It was only from the recent years did I have the urge to learn how to safely self-tie and self suspend did I come across Melbourne Rope Dojo, where they taught Shibari and Kinbaku. The more I learnt about it, the more I fell in love with it as I felt like it was something that I could deeply relate it.

For the unacquainted, can you tell us the difference between Shibari and Kinbaku?

I heard that in Japan, the terms are pretty much interchangeable.

From our teachers (sensei/s), Shibari to them means bondage tying and Kinbaku means ‘Shibari plus emotional connection’.

Some of the pictures of the rope-binding look very complex. How long does a typical session take?

It can be from half an hour to a couple of hours, depending on what was planned for the session; whether it is for a specific tie/s practice, free style tying or a photo shoot session.

What are some types of common knots when it comes to Shibari or Kinbaku?

Traditional Shibari hardly uses any knots but a series of wraps and frictions to create a desired look. Most ties start with a single or double column tie, containing a reef knot or similar locking knot then continues with wraps, frictions and tension to create the finished tie.

Can you give some safety tips for those who are new to rope bondage and keen to try it out for themselves?

Head to a rope dojo or a peer group in your area. It’s the best place to learn and to meet experienced players out there. If you are only keen to get tied, get to know your potential rope top, their style and intentions. Meeting with them in a group setting like a workshop or class will give you some time to get comfortable with them in safe surroundings.

What runs through your mind and how do you feel when you are tied up?

It depends on the scene and the moment. I don’t really think much.

When I’m tied up, it normally feels tight (because that is how I like it) and snuggly and my all senses would amplify.

It also depends on the intention of my rope top, whether it is just a practice tie or if she wants to communicate to me via rope. If it’s the latter, I normally get into this headspace where it feels like there’s no one else in the room but just her and I. Sometimes she’ll make me feel more uncomfortable, by manoeuvring or tightening the ropes to add some discomfort but other times, it can be soft, sensual and intimate. Depending on the intensity of the scene or if I’m being suspended, I can fall into a deep sinking feeling and just space out.

Photo Credit: Audrey_Fatale

Thank you for taking your time to answer our questions on SimplySxy, Jenny. One question before we end, how do you define “sexy”?

Being able to express your authentic self.

Follow Jenny Rose on:
Website with Harumitsu: http://harumitsu.com.au/

All rope work and images courtesy of Harumitsu unless stated otherwise.

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July 26, 2015
What you need to know about Shibari

The following interview is republished courtesy of Mosafir, Shibari rope bondage specialist from Russia.

What Shibari means to you personally?

For me, Shibari — is communication between two adults. It is about tenderness and pain, about trust and passion, about sexuality and identity. Also Shibari — is about beauty, the beauty of a woman, the beauty of self-denial.

How did you become interested in this?

Firstly I have been attracted by the beauty, aesthetics, and sexuality of shibari. I saw a few pictures on Internet and interested in it. Later, having learned how to tie, I discovered other sides of shibari, and it fascinated me even more. Shibari is multifaceted. It’s like the ocean: the deeper you sink into it, the more mysterious depths open to you.

Who can be a model?

Shibari model – is slightly generalized notion. If we consider Shibari as erotic game, then the model can be anyone who wants to diversify his sexual life. If this tie is for the photo, then the model is also can be any person. If shibari is for the show, then the person must have some endurance and desire to be in spotlight. This is only sides of shibari. If person have a deep interest in the practice, then the model should be a masochist. Without it, nothing happens. The desire to be tied up must come from deep inner virtue of person. Good when everything mixed in one person. It happens rarely, but I was lucky to meet such person a number of times.

What is necessary for rigger?

Shibari — a sadomasochistic practice with a high degree of visual component. Therefore, a good shibari master – is first of all a man which is not indifferent, but active, hardworking and loving sex. Well, he is also must have a little bit of sadism. We must remember that Shibari is one of the most dangerous SM practices. Therefore rigger should be responsible, hardworking and inquisitive. And one more – you need to love what you do.

What the difference between Shibari and bondage?

Well, first of all Shibari is the bondage. This is Japanese rope bondage. My choice is Japanese style and technique of tying. I started to work in this style and staying in it. If we talk about the difference between European-style rope bondage and Japanese style, it is a very difficult question. You can try to find external visual differences but it will be subjective. Observer will evaluate all subjective. Shibari is within a couple, in their minds and souls. The difference can be shown in process of tying, in aims. I can say that the European rope bondage is tying for any further action, I mean it’s fixation in order to do something with fixed person.

Shibari is a self-contained process. It can last 30 minutes, one hour or two …tying — self-sufficient. This is of course roughly definition because everything is ambiguous.

What is community of Shibari lovers?

Shibari is a unique phenomenon. As SM practice and part of BDSM, Shibari at the same time has a very strong visual component. It made simple rope bondage become a phenomenon, conquered all continents and came to Russia. Just because of aesthetics, we have that «visually intricate patterns» of what Wikipedia write. It is allow making public events showing shibari-actions. It has led to an understanding of the need to meet and exchange experiences. It makes possibility to show shibari and keep up the interest in audience.

If you remember that shibari is dangerous practice and you need to learn how to tie, need to use experience of experienced riggers then it becomes clear why we need to make communities of riggers.

Is it possible to take part of such events? Where and what format it is?

Such communities are not common, but you can find it in the big cities of most European countries, certainly in Japan and now in Russia. For example, here in St. Petersburg, we have shibari club «Yugen» which exist more than 5 years. The club meets once a month. This is a party where you can do bondage, be a model, watch and chat. It’s not difficult to take part of it: you just need to join the Club (This is a group in VK-Russian social network) and answer a few questions from administrators. Also we have parties and festivals of Shibari where you can meet and talk with like-minded people. In St. Petersburg for three times was hold international shibari festival RopeFest. We must remember that Shibari is a sexual practice that is available only to adult. It’s also concern of events.

Where we can see live performances of Shibari?

Shibari is no longer an exotic now. In Moscow and St. Petersburg we have big festivals in which shibari masters come from Japan, Europe and other countries and cities of Russia. Almost any BDSM party has riggers, and if there is a show program then there for sure will be bondage. At one time it was fashionable to do shibari show at parties, even far from the BDSM.

What are your favorite masters?

The list is long. I will mention only some names In Japan: Akira Naka, Nawashi Monko, Hajime Kinoko. In Europe: Bruce Esinem, Stefano Laforgia, Riccardo Wildties. In Russia, I really like what makes Kalahari. In general, we live in a time when shibari progress is very fast. Constantly appears very interesting and original riggers. Very pleased that the Russian masters of the rope are in the epicenter of this process now.

Some photos from some of my performances in 2014 n

Find out more about Mosafir from his website at http://www.mosafir.ru

Images courtesy of Mosafir

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April 15, 2015
3 Shibari Rope Bondage positions you should know

There are many kinds of Shibari patterns and positions. There are standing positions, sitting positions, lying positions, suspension bondage positions. We see lots of suspension bondage in the performance, but it requires advanced techniques and experience, if we don’t do them correctly, suspension bondage can be very dangerous.

Each Shibari specialists have more or less their own style. But there are some basic techniques people can start to learn.

I am going to introduce some of them below.

Takatekote Shibari

Kikkou Shibari

Gyaku ebi Shibari (Hogtie)

Bondage is for everybody, those who wants to bind their partner, and those who want to be tied up by their partner. Body shape and size does not matter. Ropes are flexible material that can adapt to any shapes/size of people, and we can also adjust the bondage technique to be suitable in any case. I myself have put hundreds of different people into my rope bondage, they are in various shapes and conditions, some are big, some are small, some are very tall, some are not flexible, some have physical disability etc. Each time for each person, I have made some adjustments and customized the best bondage for them.

I offer Japanese rope bondage private lessons/workshops to the people who want to learn it. When bondage is applied safely and correctly, it becomes a special and interesting sexual game, but if it is applied wrongly, it can be dangerous and damage the body. Nowadays there are many images of Shibari on the Internet, and some text explanations, so it looks as if we can just try by looking at. But in my opinion, it is better to take a course from rope bondage specialists and learn about safety cautions and the right techniques (patterns, knots, positions, pressure, places to avoid, time length, etc). For the Shibari, looking and trying it out is entirely different. To become good at rope bondage, you just need to learn the right techniques and practice it over and over. The more you practice on your partner, the more effective and beautiful bondage you are able to make. And don’t forget to always keep asking the partner how they feel during the bondage. Make sure that he or she is not having any pain, numbness or discomfort. As soon as they start to feel uncomfortable, they must be released, otherwise it can harm their body.

I am based in Europe, and travel around the world. If you are interested in requesting my service (Rope bondage workshop, Performance, Session), you can contact me by email below!

Images courtesy of Mistress Amrita
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January 20, 2015
Shibari – An introduction to Japanese rope bondage

I am Japanese Dominatrix Amrita. I am also known as an international fetish performer/fetish model. I offer pure BDSM sessions, but do not offer sexual services and nudity. One of my specialities is Japanese rope bondage; called ‘Shibari’ in Japanese. I often include Shibari in my sessions which is used to immobilize the subs and it enhances sensitivity and excitement in them, so it is effective method for BDSM sessions. For my performances as well, I do mainly Shibari bondage shows at fetish parties/BDSM events etc all around the world.

I have performed in 23 countries, mainly in Europe. In most of those countries, fetish scene/BDSM business are already established, so the perception of the audience is very good and enthusiastic. Japanese rope bondage requires expertise to make intricate ropes works, which looks artistic. I myself would rather focus on the artistic aspect of the Shibari when I perform than sexual imagery. I improvise beautiful patterns of bondage to decorate my sub model’s body, which has to be an artistic and effective bondage at the same time. Then once they are tied up, I combine with BDSM activities like whipping, candle wax, gags, and nipple clamps etc. Like all BDSM activities, it has to be consensual, and important that sub models enjoy being tied up. Otherwise it is a torture.

Japanese rope bondage is said to have originated from officer’s rope works to capture criminals in Muromachi-period(15-16th century), using it to capture and immobilize criminals, using hand cuffs, chains etc. It was also used as a form of torture as well in that period since some of the Shibari positions are really hard on the body. During that period, I doubt anyone used Shibari for sexual pleasure in their private lives. Much later, probably around late 19th century to early 20th century, Shibari started to be recognized as a sexual fetishism, and finally after the world war, a few people started SM/rope bondage shows/videos as a business.

As a dominatrix for sessions, I bondage male subs mainly. In that case, bondage is a great way for power exchange. Once I put them in bondage, even if they are big or strong guys, they become totally helpless in front of me and I can play with them as much I want, and this satisfies my dominant desire. To play SM, you may need equipment and dungeons such as hand cuffs, bondage benches or a St Andrew cross to restrict the sub’s movement. But with rope bondage, we just need several ropes to have the same effects. I like this handy aspect of bondage too. As each person has a different body and different fantasy about bondage, I use my creativity to improvise the best ways for each of them and so it is never boring.

As a performer, I bondage female sub models mostly. I really love the artistic aspect of the Shibari for the show, as if I am making decorations with my rope works on the pretty girls’ body, and the audience appreciate the beauty of this artistic bondage.

I have met many people who like to be tied up. But why do they like bondage?

There are several reasons, but mainly they feel excited to be helpless, to be immobilized. Even if you are not into BDSM, imagine you are kept in hands/ankle cuffs, attached to the bed with ropes by your loving partner/your sexual fantasy man or woman, and then you are going to be touched sensually, isn’t it exciting? You are unable to do anything and just have to take his/her teasing on your body.

I often combine bondage and BDSM actives like whipping, spanking, nipple pinching, dropping candle wax on the body, mouth gags, blindfold etc, depending on what people are into. With the bondage on, many of my subs are more sensitive to their body and can enjoy the stronger effects of those BDSM activities. Sensitivity mainly comes from their state of mind being helpless and immobilized in front of the mistress. They are opened for the pain/discipline I am going to give them, and they are under the mistress’s control and have no choice. This situation turns them on and this excitement makes their body feel more sensitive.

However, it is not necessary to combine painful activities like whipping, pinching, dropping candle wax on your body with Shibari. And Shibari itself is not a painful thing if we do it safely and correctly. It can be very sensual if we combine with soft touch, soft scratch, stimulation on sensitive parts etc.

I have heard from several people that they like the feeling of being held in the layers of ropes, they feel like they are embraced tightly which gives them the feeling of relaxation and comfort. This is a psychological aspect that deals with those people’s past experience and emotional conditions.

Images courtesy of Mistress Amrita
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January 6, 2015