Tag: Disciplinarian

Advantages Of Undergoing A Coaching & Discipline Programme

My personality and style as a professional disciplinarian is really no different from my own. I am told I have an assertive style, and that I exude a natural air of authority. I am perceptive generally, and enjoy a meeting of the minds – I love to unpick a person and to find out what really makes them tick. I am firm but fair, very honest, and love to be engaged in interesting conversation about pretty much any topic; I am insatiably curious about people, and the world we live in. I approach people from a place of kindness and a desire to meet their needs (not always their ‘wants’!). Sometimes (often), kindness means a very sore bottom. 🙂

I have a bit of a wicked sense of humour and will often laugh with my bottoms in session. Depending on the type of session, you might catch a little joyous gleam, an evil laugh, or at the very least a mischievous twinkle in my eye. I absolutely adore my work as a disciplinarian.

Inspiration For A Coaching & Discipline Programme

I have always seen the potential of corporal punishment and discipline to help those with the requisite wiring to achieve their goals. While I conduct many different types of sessions, including role play and cathartic release/relaxation, I found increasingly that as I got to know my bottoms, there were areas in their lives that they wanted some help with. It made sense to use my role as an authority figure to help keep them accountable with the changes and goals we’d agreed on.

Creating programmes for them to hold these goals together, and to create a path to success was an easy extra step. I have a pretty broad and deep knowledge base in a wide variety of disciplines, including personal training, health, coaching and lifestyle change, so it was an absolutely natural fit and an extension of my existing skills and expertise to link these to discipline.

Reasons Clients Take Up The Programme

They are incredibly varied, but I’ve worked with clients to help them with stopping smoking, weight loss, various fitness goals, dietary changes, reducing alcohol consumption – even helping with unpacking shame around kink, and helping bottoms to feel more comfortable with who they are.

The scope is pretty much limitless – I create a framework with the person, break those goals down into realistic and achievable chunks, and then track them. Consequences for failure, and rewards for success depend on the individual’s preferences – and ultimately, of course, are at my discretion.

Does Being Punished Create An Incentive?

That’s always a bit of a minefield to manage. I have certainly had experiences with masochists who have attempted to engineer a punishment purposefully. However, this can be managed with creating punishments that are absolutely not fun for the individual (for example, corner time, non-spanking or refusal of session time, line-writing etc).

I will always remind an individual that ultimately, it is their goal, and their wish to achieve it that provides the motivation – they only sabotage themselves in their desire for punishment. For a masochist, therefore, a reward can be a punishment-themed session. It’s complicated, but it works as long as I have a grasp of the psychology of the individual – happily, to date, this has been an arrangement that works well.

Advantages Of The Programme

The advantages are the same as any vanilla coaching programme – the client has a coach in their corner, working with them to keep them accountable, with the added bonus of being able to leverage a predilection for punishment to drive change. For someone with a spanking or corporal punishment fetish, the underlying drive is wanting to please, and absolutely never wanting to disappoint the person they allow to wield authority over them. This is incredibly powerful and effective. You get the best of all worlds; a coach helping you, an authority figure motivating you and inspiring you to keep your promises to her, and a corporal punishment session that will either align with deeply-held fantasies, or provide the sharp and unpleasant shock required to get you back on track. The combination of goals with corporal punishment really is a match made in heaven.

In terms of choosing to do a programme with me – well, as I’ve alluded to previously, I’ve got an excellent and highly relevant knowledge base that gives me the ability to give clients specialised input. Additionally, I have my own gym which I will use for clients for fitness testing etc for that extra level of accountability. From a corporal punishment perspective, I’ve got a reputation for not taking prisoners. You’ll get disciplined, and you’ll know about it.

What To Expect Prior To Starting The Programme

You need to be realistic – if you actually just want to be punished, then apply for a session and we can do that. If you genuinely want to change one or a few aspects of your life, then apply for a programme. I invest in your well-being and success, so it’s important that you do too. You need to have a clear idea of what you want to achieve, and for those goals to be based in reality. You also need to be able to attend the sessions regularly to make the programme work. Generally, I work on the basis of a monthly session for programmes. How you report in will vary with your budget and the types of goals you’re pursuing.

While you may have a fantasy of a super-strict disciplinarian who will mercilessly thrash you for any indiscretion, that really isn’t the best way to achieve change. I’ll work with you to make sure you are consistent. Punishments and consequences will be discussed and made very clear. I will encourage you, support you, and respect you as a human being who cannot be perfect, but I will also hold you accountable. I’ve helped many people achieve things they didn’t believe they could; you are no different!

Miss Haldane – A highly educated, intelligent and intuitive disciplinarian. Based near Birmingham, UK, she offers both in person and online sessions, providing a professional disciplinary service for suitable applicants; a safe space for them to be who they want to be, and to explore and express their long-held disciplinary needs and fantasies. Sessions vary from role play, to cathartic release, to structured goals and accountability coaching programmes – whichever direction they take, they are tailored to the individual, and crafted at the hands of a lady who truly ‘gets’ – and loves – CP.

Follow Miss Haldane on

Website: www.misshaldane.com

Twitter: @misshaldane

Article images courtesy of Miss Haldane.

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October 22, 2020
How To Explore Spanking & Discipline (Part 2)

We continue our Mistress Iceni feature on exploring spanking and discipline here!

What Goes On In A Session & Favorite Props To Use

First of all we decide pre-session if we will start on arrival or sit and have a chat first for you to settle in. Some role plays will begin at the front door, which can be thrilling – you have arrived home at your Aunt’s house to find her very annoyed about something/you are visiting your bossy new neighbour who suspects you have been peeping on her and have stolen her underwear from the washing line/you are reporting to the headmistress’ study after school for detention and so on.

In these cases, you will be led through to the study and usually given a thorough scolding and interrogation about your behaviour. I like to start my sessions with an over the knee hand spanking to warm up the bottom. This is a good way to forge a connection across my knee before we proceed, and to reduce any resistance: once the pants come down, so does the attitude, I find. Then we would move on to a variety of positions – over the school desk, lying face down on the red leather sofa, touching your toes, strapped to the Eton Flogging Block and so on, and I would use several of my implements.

My spanking sessions can be relentless, but I will also give you regular breaks maybe in corner time, holding a stress position, hands on your head and pants round your knees. If it is a scholastic/Governess/home tutor session I would incorporate tasks like writing lines/essays/prepare a presentation/memory tasks/tests. I absolutely love scolding so often I will scold you throughout and verbally tease you. I like some interaction and cheekiness, but some people are quiet and compliant all the way through which is also fine.

I like to end my session with an OTK spanking as well, to complete the circle, and depending on the visitor/scenario, will encourage the spankee to relax across my knee for a little while specially if it has been an intense session. Then I would offer a cup of tea or coffee and sit and chat for a while, making sure they do not leave until they are fully recovered!

With regards to props, the devil is in the detail. I ask a lot of questions before the booking and mull over the scene in advance so I can get creative. For example, I had a session booking where he wanted to be spanked for stealing sweets from the corner shop when he was a lad, something he got away with at the time. So I bought some old-fashioned-looking sweets and put them on the chair in the study. When I opened the door and took him through as his Aunt, claiming I had searched his bag after a phone call from the newsagents and discovered his stolen stash, he saw the sweets, gasped and turned pale and started trembling!

It was wonderful and a very powerful indication that just one or two appropriate props can really help with authenticity. He hadn’t expected to see that, and afterwards he said they looked just like the sweets he had stolen, and seeing them jolted him right back to being that young boy feeling the guilt of having done it. A perfect way to get into the right headspace!

Other props I love are my retro 70s phone with round dial and curly wiring, so I can call parents/authorities/the school. My custom-made Eton Flogging Block is a formidable piece of furniture that’s been nick-named ‘the Beast’ and is very intimidating. I am very fetishistic about items and implements so I could tell you about many more props, but there wouldn’t be time to cover them all!

What Should One Knew To Spanking & Discipline Prepare For Prior To Their First Session?

Firstly, do your research regarding who you visit. If you wish to experience purely a discipline/spanking session, I’d advise visiting a disciplinarian rather than a mistress (who would probably be good at it, but also does many other things, and does not specialise in this area). A disciplinarian/spanker solely focuses on this area and will have more experience and nuance.

Also research where they work from – do you want a domestic environment or a dungeon? Look at their online presence – things like Twitter, webpage, reviews, clips (so you can see how they work). Depending on location, people charge different rates so maybe you can find cut-price sessions that undercut some of the others, but you get what you pay for in life.

Approach with a polite and informative email, and communicate as much as possible before the session (not mailing 10 times a day! But it’s best to be clear before you start about details/background etc).

Consider whether you need a safe word or not. Remember ‘I can take a hard spanking’ is very subjective. You may imagine you have a huge tolerance for pain but not be able to handle what you thought you might. Or you may be too cautious and find once you get going, you love it and could take harder. So bear in mind if you think it might get too much, you can request a safe word before the session.

A great spanking session is about connection. The most important thing is to feel the right connection with this person in your initial contacts. It is about trust and instinct.

Don’t be late! If you’re running late, inform her/him. Follow reconfirmation instructions to the letter. This shows attention the detail and a level of respect.

Arrive clean and tidy, above all clean. We are dealing with your bottom – need I say more? Nice underwear is also much appreciated. Often you may bring a gift if you like but it’s not compulsory. If you do choose to turn up with flowers/chocolates/a bottle of wine etc you will probably be remembered as very thoughtful and considerate.

Be prepared if it’s your first time – the effect of discipline may not be what you expect. Some people can experience strong emotions during a spanking as it can bring up unexpected repressed emotions. It might make you feel rampantly horny!

Equally, it may send you into sub-space where you feel floaty, serene and peaceful. You can become quite discombobulated – forget your wallet or pick up the wrong pair of glasses, or try to leave via the boiler cupboard (all of these have happened after my sessions!) so make sure you have gathered yourself and your faculties before leaving.

Mostly know this – it might be an intense experience, and some of it may be painful, but if you have been thinking about getting a thrashing for some time, and are not sure whether to try it, I’d say if it’s often on your mind then it is for you, and it will be a liberating experience and the start of a whole new chapter to your life.

You are never too old to go across my knee either – I have one lovely visitor who is 85 and took his first spanking at 75. It’s never too late to start this journey. But be warned – once you pop, you can’t stop!

Mistress Iceni – London-based disciplinarian specialising in spanking and role plays with a distinctly vintage style. I may remind you of your old school-teacher, Mum’s friend, strict neighbour or Governess, but whichever female authority figure I represent for you, a visit to my study will usually result in a sore bottom and a marked improvement in your behaviour. I am a firm believer in old-fashioned discipline and you will find it may hurt at the time, but it is ultimately for your own good.

Follow Mistress Iceni on

Website: www.missiceni.com

Twitter: @Mistress_Iceni

Clips4Sale Clips store ‘At Home with Miss Iceni: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/138363/at-home-with-miss-iceni

Upcoming projects to promote:

I am currently working on several projects to collaborate more with women as I have enjoyed filming so much with Anty (@Anty851 on Twitter, follow her, she’s wonderful) and Ana, and before that, the wonderful films for Miss Elsa Svenson (wellsmackedseat.com) as Miss Ashbrook. I am planning to film some clips and content with a lovely young lady Dilan (@OhdearDilan on Twitter- you really should follow her too) Also I have Emily Jane now available to join me in sessions and film with me as a spankee. I’m currently in discussions with another lovely young lady to offer exclusive custom clips as mother and daughter. So watch this space and follow me on social media if you want to see me spanking some pretty bottoms!

My other project which I worked on extensively during lockdown is my retro spanking novel: Set in 1979 in provincial England, it’s the story of Andrew, a permanently horny 17 year old who is sent to live with his strict Aunt while his parents divorce. She takes him on a roller-coaster journey of discovery with help from her equally assertive lady friends. It is a coming-of-age story that examines self-acceptance, kink-shaming, gender identity, spanking, age play, petticoat punishment and the psychological and emotional pull of corporal punishment. I have pitched it somewhere between ‘Harriet Marwood, Governess’ (which was a huge inspiration, and this is a kind of updated homage) and the saucy ‘Carry On’ Films of the 1970s. The working title is ‘Aunty knows best’ and I have just finished the first draft, so while it is not available just yet, I will promote it as soon as I have it ready for my eager readers! The plan is to publish as a paperback, e-book and possible audio version, narrated by myself.

Images courtesy of Mistress Iceni

Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

October 8, 2020
How To Explore Spanking & Discipline (Part 1)

To me it is perfectly normal to be kinky. One of my greatest joys in this work is to encourage and allow people to deal with their deep-seated shame around their kinks, and to allow them to express themselves fully with someone who makes them feel safe and accepted.

I believe kinks to be a very healthy expression of our shadow selves – the darker, quirkier recesses of our souls. If you deny something, it is like pushing a beach-ball under the surface of the water. It will pop up again somewhere else, you can’t keep it under. As long as it is safe, sane and consensual I do not judge anybody.

Exploring a kink with someone on the same wavelength has something innocent about it. Together you can regress to that space you naturally inhabited when playing with your friends as a child: lost in your boundless imagination, totally immersed in the fantasy world you have created, going on a magical mystery tour. I find people who are kinky to be the most grounded, self-accepting, and self-aware people.

What Does Discipline Constitute?

Most people think ‘discipline’ means punishment, and it often is, but its original meaning is ‘to learn or teach’ from the Latin ‘disciplina’ (as in ‘disciple’). I love it because it is ultimately good for people and it has so many facets: role-play, endorphin-release, trust, power exchange, regression and so on. You might think it would get boring or repetitive, but for me it never does. I find it endlessly fascinating.

Is Spanking Part Of Discipline or A Totally Independent Kink?

I’ve never been asked that before! I think they are linked because you usually spank someone in the context of a disciplinary scenario. I can give you an example of how they are independent: I can carry out, for example, a long discipline session which involves very little actual impact play – say an intricate school scene with lots of role play and activities like corner time, writing lines, stress positions, scolding and so on, and only deliver 12 cane strokes near the end.

Sometimes people ask for this type of more cerebral and psychological session. But I would rarely spank someone outside the context of them being disciplined in some way. Sometimes I spank my ‘nephew’ Andrew purely for the fun of it and because his pert little bottom is irresistible but usually it involves a play-acting theme where he has done something wrong or ‘needs’ it.

Reasons Subs Are Into Spanking & Discipline

First of all, I don’t really like the generic label ‘sub’. I think mostly for real spankophiles, it’s understood that many people are not even natural submissives. I prefer to call them ‘bottoms’, ‘spankees’, ‘nephews’ ‘naughty girls’ etc.

I hear many reasons: being spanked as a child or witnessing spankings at school or in a domestic environment, therefore being ‘hot-wired’ to like it. The release of endorphins afterwards and the floating sense of calm. Being embarrassed or humiliated, or being objectified sexually by having to strip in front of me and/or my lady friends (from men, not women). A need to regress to a younger age/return to a child-like state. Being put in their place to balance ego in a dominant, high-status line of work. Giving someone else power over them and being able to let someone else make decisions for them.

The complete focus it takes to experience the physical sensations of impact play – it brings you into the present moment and away from the stress outside in the rest of your life because you cannot have your mind filled with anything else during the experience. It turns them on: for some people, it’s just their kink. The comfort of being across someone’s lap and being held in an OTK position. I’d say it’s 50/50 with people who are into spanking because they were spanked as a child, and those who weren’t.

Mistress Iceni – London-based disciplinarian specialising in spanking and role plays with a distinctly vintage style. I may remind you of your old school-teacher, Mum’s friend, strict neighbour or Governess, but whichever female authority figure I represent for you, a visit to my study will usually result in a sore bottom and a marked improvement in your behaviour. I am a firm believer in old-fashioned discipline and you will find it may hurt at the time, but it is ultimately for your own good.

Follow Mistress Iceni on

Website: www.missiceni.com

Twitter: @Mistress_Iceni

Clips4Sale Clips store ‘At Home with Miss Iceni: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/138363/at-home-with-miss-iceni

Upcoming projects to promote:

I am currently working on several projects to collaborate more with women as I have enjoyed filming so much with Anty (@Anty851 on Twitter, follow her, she’s wonderful) and Ana, and before that, the wonderful films for Miss Elsa Svenson (wellsmackedseat.com) as Miss Ashbrook. I am planning to film some clips and content with a lovely young lady Dilan (@OhdearDilan on Twitter- you really should follow her too) Also I have Emily Jane now available to join me in sessions and film with me as a spankee. I’m currently in discussions with another lovely young lady to offer exclusive custom clips as mother and daughter. So watch this space and follow me on social media if you want to see me spanking some pretty bottoms!

My other project which I worked on extensively during lockdown is my retro spanking novel: Set in 1979 in provincial England, it’s the story of Andrew, a permanently horny 17 year old who is sent to live with his strict Aunt while his parents divorce. She takes him on a roller-coaster journey of discovery with help from her equally assertive lady friends. It is a coming-of-age story that examines self-acceptance, kink-shaming, gender identity, spanking, age play, petticoat punishment and the psychological and emotional pull of corporal punishment. I have pitched it somewhere between ‘Harriet Marwood, Governess’ (which was a huge inspiration, and this is a kind of updated homage) and the saucy ‘Carry On’ Films of the 1970s. The working title is ‘Aunty knows best’ and I have just finished the first draft, so while it is not available just yet, I will promote it as soon as I have it ready for my eager readers! The plan is to publish as a paperback, e-book and possible audio version, narrated by myself.

Images courtesy of Mistress Iceni

Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

October 6, 2020
What Is A Session Like With A Professional Disciplinarian?

My personal views towards kink and alternative lifestyles are very open minded. If someone engages in their kink consensually with other adults, I do not believe that I have any right to judge nor do I want to. My kink may not be your kink but yours is just as important to you as mine is to me. I understand that an alternative lifestyle is not for everyone and I actually believe that those of us that acknowledge and practice our kinks in a prudent, well planned manner are more evolved (and dare I say more intelligent) than our peers that do not explore their desires. I firmly believe that everyone has something that they either want to explore or have explored because it consumes them if they don’t. What your “vanilla” neighbor does behind closed doors may surprise you.

I was brought up in a very religious household and made to feel guilty about things that were deemed “sinful” because it was not mainstream or in line with what God would want me to do. I personally don’t feel that religion or one’s interpretation of the Bible can stop kinky urges and may even propel someone to try their kink in an unsafe way. That is part of why organized religion can really screw up someone who was born with the need to express themselves through their kink. It can be a difficult mental burden to bear when one is told that what drives them sexually is sinful, how horrible for someone to grow up with that burden. It is part of the reason that I didn’t start exploring my kinky side until I was forty.

I also think that someone’s kink or fetish can be just as important to someone as who they are attracted to sexually. It can also be that they identify their kink AS their sexuality. The two are often too difficult to separate and are intertwined with one’s sexual identity, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is difficult to explain but easy to understand if you are kinky. Now I do want to be clear that I do have an issue if someone wants to bring animals or children into their kink or fetish because children and animals do not understand and cannot consent.

What Inspired Me To Be A Professional Disciplinarian

Becoming a professional disciplinarian was actually the culmination of the perfect storm of circumstances for me. I had recently finished my Master’s degree and was looking for a career change, I had moved to Austin and left my old job in the criminal justice field behind. I was in a really satisfying spanking relationship with a partner who believed in me and said I had a gift when it came to spanking and should pursue being a pro.

My husband also lost his job around the same time and it was the final straw and I decided it was time for me to strike out on my own. My first client reached out to me on Fetlife and asked if I spanked people professionally, I told him no but had thought about it and it snowballed from there. It moved rather quickly with me, I had my website up in a few days and started seeing people within a week.

Reasons Client Seek A Session With Me

Clients reach out to me for a variety of reasons. Some have always wanted to explore spanking as long as they could remember and don’t want to jump into an alternative relationship straight away. Some have been with other disciplinarians and like my approach or will be in Austin or one of the travel locations on my website.

Some people want to find motivation for personal goals, some people want to role play favorite scenarios that have dreamed of for years, some people just want to be spanked by someone who loves doing it, doesn’t judge them, and encourages them to explore their kink.

What Goes On In A Typical Disciplinarian Session

A typical session with me usually takes one of three paths: motivational/goal setting. Role play, or “funishment”. All of my sessions start out by me collecting information and dispersing information with an introductory email. I go over what I will and won’t do, how much I will be compensated, and the type of impact, tolerance and preferred implements that I will use.

When I arrive to a session, I always start with discussing what they are looking to address for motivational sessions or how they want a role play session to progress. I pull appropriate implements and make sure that they are all okay for use during the session. I know a lot of people don’t want to feel “in charge” of what is used or how intense I go but for my safety it is important to make sure that I am not using something or saying something that would trigger an unwanted emotion or feeling. That is something I don’t want to do and try my best to avoid.

A lot of the time I am meeting with someone I haven’t met before and do not want to put myself in unnecessary danger. After the initial discussion, I generally like to start with an over the knee spanking warm up, unless cold caning is desired or the role play does not call for it. I then will use several implements and either discuss goals or continue with a role play. For funishment sessions it is generally chit chatting and getting to know a person better and discussing spanking and how it can be beneficial to us.

I often encourage newcomers to reach out to others in the community or perhaps think about attending a spanking party. The worst part of having a kink is feeling alone. I try to let my clients know they are not alone, many others have these urges and it is perfectly normal.

What Should One Know Prior To A First Session With You?

First and foremost, my sessions are non-sexual in nature. Yes, I touch bare bottoms but I don’t touch genitals and will not allow any sort of supervised release or grinding on my lap. I only have punishment or discipline focused sessions only. I am not a mind reader, if you want something to happen during a session you need to tell me, communication is key. I do not guarantee that I won’t bruise or leave marks, everyone is different. I believe that the use of safe words is necessary whether the client chooses to use them or not. They are there for all of our safety.

Often, I have noticed that people’s mind can handle more punishment than their bodies can. I know that I have had to stop when the client may feel they can take more but I am not looking to permanently scar or be involved in a blood bath. I think that those that have not had sessions before should not forget fundamental hygiene and remember their manners. I am not a robot or an actress and I have all of my olfactory senses still working quite well.

I also understand it can be a nerve wracking and sometimes scary situation to let someone else have control but that is the real reason that people book with me, they trust my expertise as a disciplinarian and they trust me as a compassionate person to let me know what is best for them.

Hi I am Miss Rachel, a Professional Disciplinarian in Austin, TX. I specialize in motivational (goal setting), role play, and funishment sessions. A session with me provides you with a safe place to explore spanking and gives you the opportunity to be accountable to yourself while letting go of your vanilla responsibilities.

Follow Miss Rachel on:

Website: www.positivelyspanking.com

Twitter: @MissRachel_PS

FetLife: MissRachel_PS

SpankingTube: Fair_Enough

OnlyFans: @TheLadiesRoom (coming soon)

AVN Stars: @TheLadiesRoom (coming soon)

Upcoming Sessions:

2020

Seattle, WA

September 14-16

2021

Las Vegas, NV Shadow Lodge Party

February 25-28

Houston, TX Lonestar Spanking Party (LSSP)

May 17-21

Dallas, TX Texas All State Spanking Party (TASSP)

June 24-28

Article images courtesy of Miss Rachel

Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

September 11, 2020