Dating is my favorite activity if I’m being honest. I say this because a date can be anything; something as mundane as dinner and a movie, or as exciting as jet skis and Mai Tais. But in my professional life, it’s part of the gig, and my clients usually choose to get to know me over dinner first. I believe the creativity that can be put into a date is what makes them so exciting.
Is It A Misconception That Women Have Higher Expectations Of Dates Than Men?
I absolutely think it’s a misconception! Everyone wants a date to turn out well. Good conversation, a fun activity and a nice story to tell your friends after is something all genders look forward to. I sometimes believe *civilian men expect sex with as little effort as possible, that seems to me the only expectation that many women don’t share in my experience.
Dating Turn Offs For Me
I love the opportunity to show out, get dressed up, and put my best foot forward. In return, I expect the same. Often, civilian men fall short of this. Like the idea that men can throw on a t-shirt and jeans for a date while a woman gets plucked, primmed and prettied. NOT ON MY WATCH.
That’s why I love my clients, they always show up and show out. Effort is sexy, you don’t need a $900 suit on. I just need to know you care about how good we look standing next to each other. I once was taken to an expensive restaurant in a beautiful dress while my civilian date had on cargo shorts, a jersey and knee high socks. I was so embarrassed!
Do First Impressions Matter?
Yes! But I think a second impression matters more. I get first impressions in 30 seconds. But I think second impressions come later after actually listening to the person, getting past any misconceptions or assumptions I made from the first 30 seconds. For instance, a man can be a great date and polite to me. That’s a wonderful first impression, but if he’s disrespectful to wait-staff, that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Second impressions matter more.
Signs I’m Enjoying Myself On A Date
I’m engaged when I’m enjoying myself, I’m nodding emphatically, I’m smiling, and I’m complimenting him. There will be small hand touches or rubbing my foot up the side of his leg if I’m really enjoying myself. I’m a polite woman so I don’t often show when I’m bored but typically, I avoid making eye contact and focus on my drink more than my date.
Don’t judge me, but I’ve taken my phone out before, usually to text my friend to save me. A date would have to be terrible for that to happen though, and not just boring.
Who Should Set Up A Second Date?
The man should do it, no questions asked. If you enjoyed yourself, there’s nothing wrong with saying so once you both arrived home. A second date should be set up within three days.
Angelique Graye is a courtesan, activist, and Outreach Coodinator for SWOP Behind Bars. She is based in Tampa, FL but travels frequently to Orlando. She’s currently fighting for decrim and to repeal bath law ordinances in her city. She loves good drinks, exciting experiences, and spending her time in the ocean; it is why she is frequently referred to as a siren.
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